Am I overreacting? :(

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

Saturday night I was at Perris flying in the tunnel. Our session was over at 11pm and then we debriefed for another 45minutes. We had all forgotten to hand over our tapes (doh!) for recording, so we had to wait as our tapes were dubbed from the original.

Most of us went to the Bomb Shelter to wait and get something to drink. We met up with friends...talked, laughed have a drink or two, while we waited. A couple of us even danced for a whileas there was major partying with the Freefly record holders happening!

I was dancing with my friends fresh from the tunnel in my warm layers...turtleneck underneath a tee. Whew...after a while of hard-core dancing, I was very hot! My friend Richard and I finally stopped dancing, and I went to the bathroom to take off my turtleneck and leave on the t-shirt.

Shortly after I walked into the bathroom and took off my top, another girl came charging in. She started to curse at me. I don't know who it was as I had just begun to use the toilet by them and couldn't stop to open the stall door.

It was strange because she was suddenly yelling aggressively at me, asking me, "Bitch, who the f*ck are you, bitch!" Me to her, "Excuse me?". Her to me with anger and provocation in her voice, "You heard me, BITCH! I want to know who the F*CK YOU are, and what the F*CK that YOU are doing at MY dropzone, BITCH! Who the F*CK are you!?!" Me to her, "My name is Rosa. Who are you?" Her to me in the most hateful voice, "I'm your WORST NIGHTMARE, Bitch!" Me to her..." Ok thanks ...good to know."

At that point, although I had answered her calmly, almost humorously, I was VERY angry inside. I couldn't see her, but as I was going to the bathroom...I quickly peeked under the stall door to see her flipflop/thong sandals under the door. I hurried to finish and get out of the stall to see who it was who was trying to threaten me through the door. I hurried, but she called me a bitch a couple of more times, letting me know that I shouldn't be at HER dropzone and left. I had remained quiet, trying to process the situation, but I was also trying to hurry to get out of the stall. I wanted to see who this was.

I quickly finished (damned alcohol) using the toilet and exited the stall. I missed her completely outside, too. I couldn't tell who had just left, except that she had flip-flops on...like many of the girls. I still have no idea who it was...really.

I had already planned to leave at that point (2 am?) anyway as I was exhausted, but I am very annoyed that this happened right before I left. I had done nothing to provoke anyone.

My friends said that perhaps she was jealous of me. I don't understand why. I am a new skydiver and have been jumping at Perris or flying in the tunnel as of late, but I am not interrupting anyone's fun in any way. I usually have dinner in the restaurant, not the bar. I usually don't stay and drink or party with the group, but I did that night. However, I was certainly not luring the men away from any of the women if that was what she was worried about.

Tonight, I was going to go to Perris at night by myself to meet up with my friends from Mississippi, again, as I could not jump in the day. I never went...as I was not feeling too well. I was not feeling well all weekend, though...nothing new. Yet, I also just realized that suddenly I am nervous again about my safety with the thought of walking to my car at night by myself. I have fears about getting attacked, like in Orlando, racing back.

I assume that the bathroom incident triggered something in me that made me feel insecure about not knowing who was being hostile...I couldn't see who it was through the stall door. I am suddenly insecure, again. Is it possible that this girl in the bathroom just kidding or messing with my mind? (She was obviously drunk, but that is no excuse for her blatant hostility towards me.) Am I overreacting to be wondering still who this was, and why couldn't she tell me those things to my face? I am not used to being around this kind of thing...I don't understand...

Sigh...

[Unstable 8]

Sounds like a real coward has you worked up. What kind of a person would threaten you like that than leave before you could find out who it was. She was probably scared, or else why would she have left before you exited the stall??!?
My advice is this - If she got worked up that fast over whatever was up her butt, then she'll probably drop it just as fast. She doesn't want you to know who she is, she is not likely to confront you to your face. Remember, safety in numbers. I'm sure there are plenty of handsome men at the DZ that would be thrilled to walk a lady like you to your car....

=========Shaun ==========

[damion75 0]

Wow - wierd sh*t!

Maybe she mistook you for someone else? Admittedly doesn't sound likely. I can't say that you are overreacting because I have never had previous experiences like yours but I seriously hope that you can try not to let this put you off doing anything you want...

{{{{{{{ Vibes }}}}}}}}}

***************

Not one shred of evidence supports the theory that life is serious - look at the platypus.

[Unstable 8]

It really is aggrivating that One Skydiver can do that to another.....
For what it matters, you are the good girl in this whole Good Vs. Evil battle here. All of our vibes are with YOU...

=========Shaun ==========

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

Thank you, Unstable and Damion, too, for the support. You both have very good advice.

Quote

I'm sure there are plenty of handsome men at the DZ that would be thrilled to walk a lady like you to your car....

The funny thing is that I'm not scared of this girl, in particular. However, I am very afraid (after having it happen) of being attacked from behind...by a man. I know, I know...it doesn't make any sense to be reliving that now.

Also, I trust most of the men at the DZ...I just have these crazy anxieties (fear of being helpless) that somehow were released, again. Thankfully, my friends Richard and Melstarr walked me to my car that night. Good, good people...my friends.

[Unstable 8]

Quote

However, I am very afraid (after having it happen) of being attacked from behind...by a man. I know, I know...it doesn't make any sense to be reliving that now.

Seeing the recent trend of Self-Defense Classes and increase in sales for mini Pepper sprays makes me think that this is a VERY common fear...

=========Shaun ==========

[Kramer 0]

Wassup Rosa. It coulda just been someone super drunk and confused.

But say it is someone who (for some reason) has a problem with you...I'm putting good money on your beating some major ass. Go easy on her.

Seriously though, good luck with all this! Be the bigger man (or woman in this case ).

The FAKE KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMER!!!!!!!!!

[Squeak 17]

Some womean (& men) are VERY teratorial, this chick probably sees you as a threat to the limited attention she gets at the DZ.
Lets face it, you're gorgeous and this would intimidate someone with low self esteem, who could feel threatened, and worried that you might take some guy away from her with your rauncy dancing
Also more than likeley MOST of the guys were checking you out whilst you were dancing
I know I would be

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[nael 0]

Thats horrible! I think the best thing to do is find out who she is. Surely someone at the dz saw her go into the toilets, she must've walked in in a hurry too from what you said about her behaviour. I'd be asking lotsa questions, and when you find out who it was, I'd be asking her lotsa questions.

On the other hand, if she had a real problem with you she would let you know who she was, because she'd want you to know to stay away from her.
I think she's all talk, and I know you're not worried about her as such, but try not to feel anxious about the situation.

Sounds like you have a lot of friends at the dz, sounds like she knows that too since shes not willing to reveal her identity. I'm sure you're well protected, and if it makes you feel better have your friends walk you to your car until you feel safe and comfortable again.

www.TerminalSports.com.auAustralia's largest skydive gear store

[skymama 35]

Women who have insecurities they can't deal with often lash out at other women they are jealous of. I'm sure her boyfriend was commenting how beautiful you were out on the dance floor which set her off and the alcohol spurred her to come follow you. It's too bad you couldn't tell who she was. Stay on guard for a few weeks just to play it safe.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[Alienangel 0]

The biiiitch is clearly jealous of your beauty, Rosa. Maybe she thought you were wearing a revealing outfit, that you looked at her man, or that your small butt makes hers look big? Is she a munter? I suspect so. Psychologically disturbed with low-self esteem? Certainly.

You could try making yourself look shite, perhaps eating heavily for a coupla months, not washing your hair, ignoring your deodorant, letting a small facial moustache grow, and rubbing chip fat into your skin...Or, you could make the bitch suffer even more than she already is, put on some lipgloss and get out there and party Skydive Perris a new asshole!

I go for the new asshole every time.

But that's just me.

AA

[Edited to correct shameful spelling error.]

[cocheese 0]

If anyone hurts or intimidates Rosa, they will have a lot of dz.commers/skydivers after them. And i'm sure some don't call 911. Shrugg it off Rosa.Good people will prevail. If ya let it bother you, the terrorist wins. Too bad there are people out there who would do this or even joke about something like that. Yes safety in numbers won't hurt no matter where you are. I thought all women went to bathroooms in pairs.

[scottjaco 0]

Waiting until someone is sitting on the toilet before confronting them is pretty weak.

What happened? There has to be more to this story... people don't just do that for no reason.

I'm sure this incident had somthing to do with a guy. Have any of your male friends broken up with anyone lately?

OR

This is just a theory...please don't take offense

Perhaps they see someone who has gone a long way in the sport in a very short time.

I'm a little jealous! I wish I could afford to do half of the stuff that you have done. All the trips around the country to different dropzones. All the tunnel time in Orlando and Perris.

Not to mention, you have a decent personality.
There are people who have been in the sport for years that aren't as "well connected" as you are.

A lot of skydivers are tweaked and have very intense personalities, myself included.

I've known you since Taft, and I can definatly say that you don't deserve this kind of treatment. No one does. It really bothers me that this kind of shit is happening at my home dropzone.

[weegegirl 2]

That's terrible. What shocking and disgusting behavior... and from a skychick??? What's up with that???? Rosa, sweetie, blow it off. That was obviously a very unstable, insecure individual. I guess jealousy does some wicked things sometimes. Seriously, though, that is shocking. I've never seen that kind of aggression within this community.

[tigra 0]

That's disgusting behavior and really unfortunate! I'm sure you could probably find out who the psycho was- no drop zone is so big that you couldn't. Unfortunately, this sport attracts all kinds, psycho b*tches included.

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

Women who have insecurities they can't deal with often lash out at other women they are jealous of. I'm sure her boyfriend was commenting how beautiful you were out on the dance floor which set her off and the alcohol spurred her to come follow you

Women + insecurities + alchohol is a regular thing. Most resolve their problems by making snide remarks in their little cliques.

This sounds like the additional element, crazy. When the only solution to a problem is anger and confrontation, that's someone with a problem.

[TimHurford 0]

There is a well known human trait called ‘fear of the unknown’. I don’t have any empirical evidence or data to support this, but generally women either hate each other or become best friends – and it is certainly a truism also that if they don’t know each other and feel threatened on some sort of way, then that will be manifested as ‘dislike’ and bitchyness (sp!)

Do you want a strategy to try deal with this?

Perhaps if you went to the DZ and then got to know all the girls – do jumps, hang out etc – then progressively they will come to know you for the vivacious human being that you are. True to form, you will become ‘sisters’ rather than some unknown outsider that is easy to dislike from afar. This does put the onus on you, and the effort is all yours, but will go along way to easing your fears and anxiety – particularly in an environment where you are comfortable (ie. skydiving) rather than out clubbing and dancing (always unknown, and difficult to establish rapport). Eventually you may even work out who it was, and perhaps they’ll confide in you about their own fears and anxieties – and you become true ‘sisters’.

....

Then, one night you’ll be out clubbing with your new girlfriend and eventually you both will have to go to the bathroom. She will then at some point lean over an say [drunken slur/on] ‘oh, Rosa, you are my best friend [drunken slur/off], at which point you lean forward about six to eight inches from her face and smile and say ‘actually I’m your worst nightmare, bitch’ and head butt her between the eyes level with the bridge of her nose. While she is squinting and holding her head, a sharp blow to the solar plexus will give you the level you need to give her a good stomping (oh, wear flats not thongs or heels). Then when she is lying on the floor, give her a final ‘bitch’ for good measure, and then go back out, find her boyfriend and take him home.

OK now I’m just being silly!



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[tigra 0]

All this talk about women and jealousy and insecurities is BS! Sorry. The chick in the bathroom was a psycho, plain and simple!

[crapflinger2000 1]

Sorry, that was me that came in and said those things... I have "spells" sometimes.

__________________________________________________
What would Vic Mackey do?

[rehmwa 2]

This doesn't sound like it's about the bathroom incident. That's just a trigger back to the junk from Orlando.

Rosa - How did you table the fear from a few (months?) ago? What do you think you overlooked that you should discuss/accept/deal with this time? That was very dramatic and will stick for a while and sounds like it's not completely dealt with yet. You need to figure out how to work through it completely this time. I have no clue how to approach that....sorry

At least you have a ton of support on these forums as well as in person (sounds like). Stay with friends and don't back down.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[carbonezone 0]

Quote

All this talk about women and jealousy and insecurities is BS! Sorry. The chick in the bathroom was a psycho, plain and simple!

DITTO

[skyesspot 0]

Rosa,

I am so sorry that this happened to you. You just don't deserve that kind of treatment. As for overreacting... No I don't think so at all. I can totally see how this would bring back the fears.

(((((HUGS)))))

Just lean on your friends. We are all here for you.

Life is too short. Don't sweat the small stuff.

[skyyhi 0]

Aw Ro. . .I wish I would have been there. . .I was dealing with my crowd at the time. Since we usually shadow each other when we hang together, at least I could have gotten a look at her for you.

Anyway, (((((((hugs))))))) to you my friend. I am sure this coward will not rear her head again. And when you want to go to the DZ, just call. . .ya know I will be there with you - I don't want you missing out because of those old fears creeping back up. I am here for you my beautiful friend. . .

________________________________________
Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ
FGF #6
Darcy

[Conundrum 1]

Wow Rosa, thats some pretty odd stuff goin on there.

I think you should just be extra cautious around the dz and ask lots of questions (i.e. Hey did you see anyone follow me into the restroom? Who were the women there that night? Do you know who wheres these type of sandals? etc.. ), you're bound to find out who it was eventually. Who knows, maybe they had you mixed up with someone else ( we can always hope anyways ).

Good luck.

[aprilcat 0]

Another DITTO!

You did not deserve that, Rosa. And don't beat yourself up trying to figure out what makes a psycho a psycho. You take a psycho, add acohol, throw pms on top of it and you've got an idiot looking to get hurt/hurt someone.
The only thing you can do is protect yourself. Do you think you need to take some self-defense classes? Carry pepper spray? The problem is NOT YOU, its that drunken jerk of a woman.
I've never met you, but I like what I've seen you post and I'd be happy to meet you. From what I know of you just by reading you, you don't seem the type to go in a bar and 'start up'. Please take some steps in learning to physically protect yourself. Blue ones~~April

Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo!