No, you knew the rules . . . .

[turtlespeed 212]

No, you cannot go to florida, no you cannot go to disney land. I WILL NOT and COULD NOT justify rewarding a child for doing things she knows is wrong, has been reminded several times and given the consequenses of her actions. Lying about turning in your homework is not going to get you tickets to see mickey mouse. Being givena task to perform that would have over ridden the homework situation and failing to do it will NEVER get you a reward, not a movie not a trip to Disney land.

You lied to your mother - you lied to me - until I cornered you in lie and now - you see what happpens. I told you at the start of the year, do what you are supposed to do and be richly rewarded, try to get around me, and pay the consequenses.

You KNEW what you had to do - and just didn't do it. I found out and came up with an alternative - "you Forgot" OK - so You are reminded and the next day you still "Forgot"

Summer is going to be very busy for you. You KNOW that if there is a rule there, you don't break it, you know that when I say what the consequenses will be, that they will be just that - no more - no less.

I do what I say I am going to do. I expect no less that that from you.

Sorry - Mickey will have to wait.

The answer is NO.

*Sigh*

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[skyyhi 0]

Having child problems turtle?

________________________________________
Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ
FGF #6
Darcy

[turtlespeed 212]

Not anymore - I hope - but something tells me this is just the beginning of me being the bad guy.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[ChrisL 2]

Welcome aboard. Its a big club.
Its not always thankless though.
If you do what YOU are supposed to, YOU will be richly rewarded by watching your children grow to be responsible, happy, adults.

You already have the single most important thing mastered.

Do what you say, say what you do. No more, no less.
Be consistant and you wont HAVE to be the bad guy very often

__

My mighty steed

[RoysPlayThing 0]

Holy crap!... I never saw this side of you before my turtle friend... eeek!.. I'm even feel a little whipped!

I get to go to Florida next month...hehe... I've been a good girl. I'll tell Mickey hello for you.

_______________________________________________
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

[turtlespeed 212]

Thanks - Now if I could just get the ENTIRE REST OF THE FAMILY to uinderstand that.

Grama already bought the tickets - thinks she's getting a raw deal - so she's pissed - she thinks she should still be able to go - SO does grampa but then he backs her up no matter what.

X wife was prolly wanting the time off from her - so she's pissed.

Noone but me looks at it like she did anything wrong - they look at it like it doesn't fit with my schedule - so what if it teaches her that she can get away with anything.

Ive been there - I lived that life - I know what it was that could have fixed me - I don't use the rod - but priveledges are EARNED!

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[hooked 0]

Good job!!! You have to stand behind everything you say you will do, otherwise they never learn the lesson. Hard, I know, but it will pay off.

J

--------------------------------------
Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings.

[Katzeye 0]

If she's in summer school, be kinda hard to go to Disney land huh?

Is a chicken omelette redundant?

[flyangel2 2]

I have an 18 year old and a 16 year old. They still haven't figured out that when I say something, I mean it.

Hang in there, if you break now, it's not going to help you.

Bottom line, I couldn't be happier with how well my boys have turned out. I can leave them home alone with minimal worries, cause I know they will do the right thing.

Clint, just make sure you remind her that you love her, it's her actions that you are not happy with. That no matter what she does, you will never stop loving her. Children tend to think that we stop loving them when we have to follow through on punishments.

You are a wonderful man. Hang in there.
Big hugs to you,
Mar

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[skycat 0]

Hey, why can't grandma go? Was she a bad girl too?

Fly it like you stole it!

[flyangel2 2]

Quote

Grama already bought the tickets - thinks she's getting a raw deal - so she's pissed - she thinks she should still be able to go - SO does grampa but then he backs her up no matter what.

Need me to make a phone call and have a little chat with them?

Now I know Marilyn and Larry, so I know they will get this message:

Hey you two, Clint is doing a great job raising his daughter. If you two don't support him and his decisions, then she will get mixed messages. You all are a team raising that wonderful girl. You need to work as a team, or else later down the road, when she's out to some party, drinking and hanging with the guys, she's going to think she can get away with anything, cause Grandma and Grandpa are going to be there to bail her out. Is that the lesson you want your granddaughter to learn? No! I know you two, and I know you want the best for her, but following through on "no reward" cause work didn't get done is the right thing to do. Years later you will be glad you made that decision. Let her earn the trip to Florida. I know you two worked hard for everything you have. Don't you want the same for your granddaughter. There is always Christmas or Spring Break.
Hang in there, and I know that I love you two.
Hugs and kisses,
Mar

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[chachi 0]

Give her a chance to earn it back, saying no to something so big and sticking to it is right, I would think as it teaches the lesson Giving someone a second chance to do something good also teaches something, compassion.

~Rob

[wlie 0]

Quote

Welcome aboard. Its a big club.

I think I'll have my son enroll in the club and have him discipline me

My other ride is the relative wind.

[BabaLouie 0]

Good for you, there is nothing worse than a parent issuing an 'idle threat' to their child, except maybe counting to three, counting to three only gives a child the opportunity to test you, to see if you are serious.

I can tell you that most of the troubled kids I have dealt with had parents that did not say no AND did not back up a threat of punishment.

Hang in there, years down the road, she will understand much better when she has kids of her own. As has already been mentioned, she should always know that she is loved.

BabaLouie

[Thanatos340 1]

Dude!! I can sympathize with you so much on this one. I have a 12-year-old daughter. I went through almost the same exact thing last 2 report cards.

Grand Parents Pissed off. Her Mom says I am being way too hard. Daughter not speaking to me for days.

In my daughter’s case, She Drag Races in NHRA Jr. Dragsters. The first time she got an unacceptable Grade on her report card was right before a national Meet. I caved in and let her go anyway because the nationals were a big deal and the entire family had plans to go even though our deal had always been she only races with all A`s and B`s.
Next Report Card (again right before another National Meet) No Improvement at all. Hotels had already been booked at the track; Arrangements for travel and an extra day off work for family members planning on going had been made. This time I kept my promise. No Go until the grades came up. Everyone was upset with me.

Just got the call today with the year end Grades... All A`s and B`s. Really makes me wish I had not caved in the first time she brought home a bad grade. Looks like we will be finally racing again.

Its tough playing the heavy but you have to do what you know is right.

[skymama 35]

Hang tough, Clint. Your job is to be a good parent, not to win a popularity contest with the relatives. My daughter has been testing the limits this year. I don't even get into arguments with her anymore. I just repeat the same mantra: "you knew what the rules were. You knew what your punishment would be. You still chose to break the rules. Now, you have to live with the consequences of your actions. If you want to get off restriction, change your behavior. You know what you need to do." It's finally starting to sink in with her, but it's really hard to stay tough when the tears start flowing. I feel for ya.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[sdgregory 0]

It's even tougher when they say "When I'm eighteen, I'm gone." Heard that for the first time two weeks ago and it felt like a sword went through my heart..

Thank God she came up later and apologized and said she only said it cause she knew it would hurt my feelings.

If that was her goal, she reached it in spectacular fashion.

Never knew she had such a mean streak. Too much like her old man I think.

[airtwardo 6]

I feel ya turtle!

It's enshrined somewhere that for the next who knows
how long...

I'm to be the official "Mean Old Grump"
and will constantly keep hearing myself say the things
my "Out of Touch" parents used to say to me!



.."Hey honey, is there an operations manual for
these kids some where...I think they're defective!"

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[pop 0]

Clint, you are making the right decision my friend. Stick by your words. Beleive me, in the long run your kid will appreciate it. Trust me

7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer

[Pammi 0]

Geez, I thought you were listening in my recent conversation with my daughter (see the women's forum for my rant!) Well, except the Disney World part!

You did GREAT! I'm proud of you. Sticking with it so SO hard, and absolutely the right thing to do.

Pammi

[mjosparky 3]

Quote

Not anymore - I hope - but something tells me this is just the beginning of me being the bad guy.

You are not the bad guy. If there were more "bad guy" parents in this country (USA) we would have fewer problems. I think you Rock!Sparky

My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

[Rdutch 0]

That sucks, think about my dillema. Nephew's love uncle Ray, Im the perspn they can go to thats not a parent figure cause for some strange reason they look at me like im still a kid. Anyway they have been doing horrible in school, and Mom N Dad punish them but cave soon after. I told them Christmas that I would buy them a go-cart if they got at least one A and no F's. So they tell me buy it they did great, but come Christmas they come up with, Oh were special the report cards come late for us. So Christmas me and my brother get to play with go cart all day while they get to watch and wish they were better at lying.

Now summer is here, one did great brought his grades up, the other failed. Now what, do I give the good student the go cart when I know the other that did bad will use it. I asked the parents if they would only allow the one to use it, and I was told they couldnt do that. So now what would you do?

Right now my plan is to keep the go cart at my house and let the one that did good use it here, that will get my Brother to visit more and not reward the one nephew for doing bad. But my yard is small, and the neighbors might not like it. So it really isn't a good idea. What would you do?

Ray
Small and fast what every girl dreams of!

[slug 1]

I thought politic's was supposed to be in speakers corner.
Which Pres you talking about me B.

R.I.P.

[Chiquita 12]

I think you are doing the right thing. I have no kids myself, but I remember when I was growing up. My parents stuck to their word and I am now very grateful. It teaches you responsibility and respect among other things. So do not let your x or the grandparents change your mind. That is unless you let her do something to earn it (like someone else suggested). It can be anything from doing extra chores to extra yardwork or anything else within reason that you can think of.

Chiquita

"Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity"

[GravityGirl 0]

Hmmmm. If you're gonna be that tough, then you better be prepaired for some serious rebellion.

Not to say there should not be consequenses to negative behavior, but taking away something you have been planning is also destroying trust along the way.

Was your family vacation a "reward" for being good. Or a time to share family fun and values?

Just my perception.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace and Blue Skies!
Bonnie ==>Gravity Gear!