Smokers vs Non-Smokers

[Jewels 0]

Just make sure it doesn't go next to yours, or you'll smell like cigarettes yourself!

TPM Sister #102

[Conundrum 1]

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Smoking is disgusting and it makes people smell like shit.

/vomit

So is living on the street and not washing your clothes, but I don't see you making fun of homeless people.

I'm not "making fun" of smokers. I'm saying they smell like shit. If I had more expierience with homeless people, I'd probaby say they smell like shit too.

[gonzalesna 0]

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Smoking is disgusting and it makes people smell like shit.

/vomit

So is living on the street and not washing your clothes, but I don't see you making fun of homeless people.

I'm not "making fun" of smokers. I'm saying they smell like shit. If I had more expierience with homeless people, I'd probaby say they smell like shit too.

Ok, then... Fair 'nuff.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[Bolas 5]

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I didn't realize when I smoked just how bad it smelled.

Now, remember back then and read these two approaches.

"Hi, granny. Did you know that your clothes and hair have a lot of cigarette smoke in them and the odor is pretty strong and is distracting a lot of us. Can we do anything to help with that?"

or

"Yo, bitch. You stink of fags and it's making me gag. You better stop that shit or else"

So, which would have gotten a more positive response back then?

(sometimes it's neither. true. But a lot of people think that the only way to communicate is like the 2nd. They are even jerkish enough to pride themselves on it with the claim that this is more 'honest'.)

You go with what works. If in your past interactions with someone being nice and polite hasn't yielded any results but being more forceful has. I'd probably go with more forceful.

Of course we all have bad days where something that bugs us but we haven't said anything about tweeks our last nerve and we may snap. At that point you can only apologize and try to explain why you snapped but then say in a nice way what you wanted to.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[GflyDog 0]

Did not say they were made of or called shit
they smell LIKE shit
Buy a dictionary.

[rehmwa 2]

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too much perfume - tell them
skin and clothes reek of cigarette smoke - tell them
their food stinks horribly - tell them

(umm no)
I should go tell human resourses the receptionist should wear alot more rehmwa note - that's reprehensible, man up and talk to them in person
.
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that "I" like..or maybe....or maybe.....gimme a break the world doesnt conform to you....stop being selfish

you've only allowed 2 extremes - 1. just deal with it and 2. go cry to HR about people.

the reality is in the middle - tell people what you think, but be honest and tactful and real. That's means actually showing respect and doing it right without a chip on your shoulder and open to their response. But that also means they might hear it and decide to not bother with any comromise - then the test is whether you respect their personal decisions also to THEN accept it. But at least you said something, and they now know it, and no real harm comes from it. (It's a no loss scenario if you do it right. What's the big deal?)

Clamming up on it? you big chicken.

But, if all you can do is either let it go versus bottling up the annoyance forever, or if you have to 'fake it' to be PC or so, don't bother trying, people can smell that from a mile away.

I'm constantly amazed at how many people can't communicate on even 'minor' disagreements without going ballistic. I'm more amazed at those that are so scared of the ballistic reponse that they just hide from it.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Darktreader 0]

NO your taking what I said out of context.

My point is that I dont believe anyone has a right to say "hey I dont like the way you smell when you smoke", can you make changes so satisfy MY likes.

My point was its selfish to impose your opinion of what you like to smell or dont like on someone else. Futher more asking them to change for you.

If I was to abide by your actions I should tactfully express what I dont like about anyone and expect them to accomodate me or rather at least hope they wouldnt mind accomodating my preferences.

Thats like Ricky Bobby saying whatever he wanted because he say "with all due respect" and thinking it was ok.

Certain things I believe should be definately mentioned to people if offensive or potential damage can be done but preferences of smell of smoke are about as finicky as one can get.

"Before we waste time talking and getting to know each other, let's just have sex once and see if we're compatible"

[billvon 2,400]

>I'm constantly amazed at how many people can't communicate on even 'minor' disagreements . . . .

That's what the Internet is for! Allows you to come to a firm, well-supported conclusion about someone else without talking to them.

[billvon 2,400]

>If I was to abide by your actions I should tactfully express what I dont like
> about anyone and expect them to accomodate me or rather at least hope
>they wouldnt mind accomodating my preferences.


That's exactly right.

If it's minor and doesn't bother you much, then probably best to deal with it.

If it's a big deal to you, then your options are:

1) Suffer and never say anything
2) Call the cops/HR/the press and make a big stinking deal about it
3) Ask them if they would be willing to change (smoke somewhere else, eat in the breakroom etc.)

3) is generally the best option. Goes for far more than just smoking.

[rehmwa 2]

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If I was to abide by your actions I should tactfully express what I dont like about anyone and expect them to accomodate me or rather at least hope they wouldnt mind accomodating my preferences.

you got that exactly wrong, so I diagrammed it for you - the red part is pretty close, but there are limits, and you only express to those areas that directly affect you, not just spew nonsense out without judgment. The blue part is completely wrong - you should have zero expectations for someone changing their behavior, maybe they will or maybe they won't - and expect them to be honest with you in return

no need to get all worked up if you can't understand the point you're disagreeing with

Bill broke it down into the 3 options you have. My only real point is that some people have no idea how to handle option 3 like a human, so they reject it - you're proving that point in every word you write.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Darktreader 0]

Atually your options are endless of actions you can pursue.

I know exactly how to tactfully speak to people when needed.
I could condone "drunk adult cursing loudly in public around children...."as an example and calmly asking if the adults might lower there tone or watch what they say as I point out the children near by.
Along with many other examples

My arguement is not people should never speak about what is offensive to them, but asking someone to change for a smell that they dont prefer is overboard. There has to be a line somewhere of whats too far or considered arrogant.
Or should everyone ask everyone to conform to their comforts?

I am sorry but it bothers me when I hear people daily making asinine requestsof others to suit themselves and its VERY arrogant.

"Before we waste time talking and getting to know each other, let's just have sex once and see if we're compatible"

[rehmwa 2]

So then we have no issue other than where to draw that line.

I let others draw their own lines and don't sweat it if they pick it different than I do.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[ExAFO 0]

Slightly off topic: I'm completely unapologetic about doing a happy dance now that the bars and restaurants here in Illinois are 100% smoke free.

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[Bolas 5]

Yes there's always gonna be that asshole that doesn't care what they're doing bothers people but for every one of those there are probably 50 people who don't even realize it. That's really your target audience. They might be happy to compromise or stop if you bring something to their attention.

Most of us have so much going on that we can be clueless about alot of stuff. Simply bringing something to one's attention is usually enough.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[LisaM 0]

Ours have been like that for a while. I like going to a restaurant and not having to walk through the smoking section to get to my seat.

I haven't been to any bars though. I assume if I go to a bar I'd come out smelling like smoke. Guess not anymore.

~ Lisa
~ Do you Rigminder?

[Darktreader 0]

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Most of us have so much going on that we can be clueless about alot of stuff. Simply bringing something to one's attention is usually enough.

So I should mention to all the hispanics that the lunch room smells really bad every day due to thier heating up mexican food,
would I really expect them to not eat mexican anymore. NO "so why mention it?"

So she mentions that the smoke smell is strong to that guy...do you think hes gonna quit smoking for her? NO "so why mention it?"

I think its unneccessary confrontation and either way they are both OPINIONS

"Before we waste time talking and getting to know each other, let's just have sex once and see if we're compatible"

[airdvr 197]

I haven't read all the posts on this one yet but I thought of something that might be causing the stink.

When we were in high school we'd sneak out to our cars for a smoke. Some of the guys used to stub it out halfway down and save it for later...usually in their shirtpocket. Man that really stunk..even I could smell it.

Perhaps this poor guy is doing that and keeping it for later? I guess it's difficult for me to see that someone 3 cubicles over could smell of smoke that bad unless there's something else going on.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[airdvr 197]

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Slightly off topic: I'm completely unapologetic about doing a happy dance now that the bars and restaurants here in Illinois are 100% smoke free.

Was in Key West in September...somebody forgot to tell them they're part of FL. Anyways, sat down for a beer at Sloppy Joe's and there were ashtrays on the bar. I felt like I was doing something wrong sitting having a beer and smoking.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[Bolas 5]

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Most of us have so much going on that we can be clueless about alot of stuff. Simply bringing something to one's attention is usually enough.

So I should mention to all the hispanics that the lunch room smells really bad every day due to thier heating up mexican food,
would I really expect them to not eat mexican anymore. NO "so why mention it?"

So she mentions that the smoke smell is strong to that guy...do you think hes gonna quit smoking for her? NO "so why mention it?"

I think its unneccessary confrontation and either way they are both OPINIONS

You can never know what a person will do. You can guess you can make predictions based on past behaviors but you don't know. In some cases they don't know.

That's why I tell them. Most of the times very nicely. Sometimes you don't even have to ask. If something bothers me to the point I complain to others obviously it means something to me. That's kinda my gauge I use.

Do I expect them to change their ways? No.

Do I see any harm in telling someone their effect or me and possibly others? No.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[Squeak 17]

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We have a Smoking Cessation going on right now and work and we encouraged him to join but I did not see his name on the sign up list. Chicken.....

Why Chicken, he may actually enjoy smoking, and therfore have no desire to quit.
I'm a non smoker and i also dont like the smell of smoke on people least of all my wife, bt if they are enjoying doing it it's not my place to try to get them to stop.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[billvon 2,400]

>So I should mention to all the hispanics . . .

All of them? How about just the ones that stink up the breakroom - no matter what race they are?

>would I really expect them to not eat mexican anymore.

Nope. But perhaps if you asked them, they might keep the cover on their container of food while they are heating it.

You are confusing two things. One is asking someone to address something that bothers you. The other is asking "all hispanics to stop eating mexican food." They are not the same.

If someone almost takes you out in the landing area, it is best to speak to them about it. That is not the same as "forcing all swoopers to not swoop." It is just asking them to be more careful when you are in the landing area. The two are not the same.

If a friend of yours bumps into your car when he's parking his, it is best to speak to him about it if it bugs you. That is not the same as "telling him he can't drive." It is merely asking him to change what he does around your car. The two are not the same.

>So she mentions that the smoke smell is strong to that guy...do you
>think hes gonna quit smoking for her?

Nope. But he might roll his windows down when he smokes, or wash his clothing a bit more often. If that solves the problem - great, both people are happy.

[ExAFO 0]

I have the ultimate solution: Become the Phantom Shitter!!<-Clicky

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[Bolas 5]

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Was in Key West in September...somebody forgot to tell them they're part of FL.

They don't listen anyways. I think Jeb gave up and gave them their freedom. The Conch Republic.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[DangerRoo 0]

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Vilification is petty and makes people sound snooty

Saying smoking is disgusting and it makes people smell like shit is being snooty?

Oh well. lol

guess I'm paddeling in your boat now

(I.C.D#2 VP)
""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama

[24fps 1]

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This is no different then old lady in the office that wears perfume u dont like that is way too strong or the lunch room of a warehouse that reaks of mexican food, I can go on and on...It does NOT give you any right to say a anything, just because you dont like the smell.
I dont smoke anymore, havent for some while now and I know the smell isnt pleasant to most but nether are alot of smells in the work area. Try watching "Dirty Jobs" now those folks deal with some smells!!!
If you dont like smoke smell and you can smoke at your work then find a new job, or deal with it.

1. I worked around shit for 3 seasons when I serviced National Forest Bathrooms. I didn't mind the smell because it was in my job description. -Smelling someone's nasty smoke smell was not. I do not believe that "being forced to smell a coworker that smells like ass was in the original posters job description either.

2.Why does someone not have the right to ask someone to do something about their odor, yet the coworker has the selfish right to force the people around them to smell something that makes them gag? Especially when they smell like that because they choose to participate in an activity that makes them smell that way.

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