skymama 35 #1 January 31, 2008 This isn't about me or my kids, I'm really asking to help a fellow soccer mom. For good reason, she's having her son, "John", do random drug tests. He tested positive for marijuana today but they were told he didn't test positive for anything else. My son said there are rumors at school that John has moved onto cocaine also. Is it possible that he could have done it in the last week or so and it not show up on the test? Marijuana lasts longer in the body, right? Before anyone tells me that there's nothing wrong with a little pot now and then, I don't want to hear it. This kid was a soccer star and A student. Now, he's quit soccer and is just about failing all his classes. His parents got divorced and he's taking it hard. He was also fired from a job for stealing from the charity bucket that was at the cash register. My son's wallet also came up missing from his soccer bag last week. Coincidentally, John sat on the bench for that game because he skipped practices and lied about his whereabouts. Sigh...any help or advice on how to handle a child like this would be great. His mom is in tears and overwhelmed. His dad is a total wimp and only cares about chasing pussy, so he's no help.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AllisonH 0 #2 January 31, 2008 I have heard people say they prefer cocaine because it clears faster and they'd still be able to pass a drug test - don't know how fast it clears though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #3 January 31, 2008 QuoteSigh...any help or advice on how to handle a child like this would be great. His mom is in tears and overwhelmed. His dad is a total wimp and only cares about chasing pussy, so he's no help. Mom can't be feeling overwhelmed and in tears. She has to get her act together and ground the kid. She has to do what ever it takes to save his life. I've been very hard on my boys when they were growing up, and now that they are adults and living on their own, they have thanked me for all the "tuff love" I handed out to them. She can't ever go back on the word "no" and take everything that is dear to the kid away from him, and let him earn it back. If she has to miss work to sit on him, so be it. It's going to get worse before it gets better, I so know.May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #4 January 31, 2008 I have heard that cocaine and other "hard" drugs clear within 2 or 3 days. Its one of the many reasons mandatory "pre-hire" drug testing is stupid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefalle 0 #5 January 31, 2008 Andrea, Cocaine, does in fact clear the system within 24 to 48 hours and sometime up to 72 hours. If shes convinced he is doing cocaine she may consider finding a lab the can do an analysis of his hair as the hair follicles will test positive for most substances MUCH longer. Almost EVERY drug with the exception of TCH will not cause a positive result in urine after 24-48 hours. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stitch 0 #6 January 31, 2008 Cocaine and most Opiates will clear the body within 48 hours of the last use."No cookies for you"- GFD "I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65 Don't be a "Racer Hater" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #7 January 31, 2008 QuoteCocaine and most Opiates will clear the body within 48 hours of the last use. Woohooo--party time!!!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #8 January 31, 2008 The trouble is that they have shared custody. She's tough on him when he's at her house, but the Dad isn't. She'll take the car away, the Dad will give it back because he can't be bothered to drive him places. She's collecting information on incidents so she can go back to court and get full custody, but her original custody fight cost so much money, she can't afford it yet. We're trying to help. She gets most of her information from us because of Nick. I told Nick that it's beyond the point of covering for his friend for casual drug use. He might be helping to save his life now. John is a Junior and he's already talked about quitting school now since he grades are so bad. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #9 January 31, 2008 QuoteAlmost EVERY drug with the exception of TCH will not cause a positive result in urine after 24-48 hours. So, if she took hair out of his brush or off his sheets, would that work?She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #10 January 31, 2008 Quote Quote Almost EVERY drug with the exception of TCH will not cause a positive result in urine after 24-48 hours. So, if she took hair out of his brush or off his sheets, would that work? yup ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #11 January 31, 2008 could be that the marijuana is a symptom of the real problem.... sounds like the boy needs a hug,,,and then a serious and stern dose of verbal encouragement. it has to be emphasised to him, and the sooner the better, that there are friends and teachers who will help him address any issues he may be feeling..... and it sounds like he's dealing with a lot of stuff... too bad... It is awfully tough today, to be a youngster coming up through high school and entering adulthood,,,,, awfully tough.. I'm not sure i could do it... So sure. tell him all drugs are NOT good for you... and someone may need to point out that they are Insidious,,,,,, that means they try to sneak up on you... it's real important to resist, it's real important to re-connect with his studies,,, he needs to be made aware of that This is a crucial time in his life, and THIS will be his test of Personal Responsibility.....and of Character....Someone needs to challenge him,,, and in a non -confrontational way... Do not let him play the victim, find a way to re-inspire him.... certainly sitting on the bench won't help,,, nor continuing possible rumors about heavier use...especially if that is not true.... The young man needs his friends now, to rally a bit, and yank him back up to reality, so that he can make himself proud....and re-establish himself in the eyes of his peers and his Elders... Maybe a coach or a teacher, or even a teammate, can be the one to start that verbal encouragement... good luck... jt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #12 January 31, 2008 Quote Quote Almost EVERY drug with the exception of TCH will not cause a positive result in urine after 24-48 hours. So, if she took hair out of his brush or off his sheets, would that work? Hair off of fresh sheets - not ike ones that have been there for a while .I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 3 #13 January 31, 2008 sounds like drugs are the least of his problems. without knowing the boy, the sirens of deppressed and possibly suicidal are screaming. I'd suggest to the mom to get him some counsling. But don't buy into the use of drugs to mask the depression.CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #14 January 31, 2008 Wow...scary stuff. Sounds like a very difficult situation all around...I like what Mar said. It sounds like a good plan. The only thing I might throw out there -what turned me around from walking down that road when I was dancing a lil' too close to that line as a kid was looking at people 10, 15, 20 years older than I was doing the *exact* same thing. Here they were in there 30's or 40's, still at these same parties getting high, with absolutely no life to speak of because that's all they ever focus on. They had minimum wage jobs. They lived in shitty neighborhoods. They had no goals. They had no life worth waking up for. It worked for me -I joined the army so that I COULDN'T be tempted any more and got the HELL away from the bad influence. My parents didn't suggest that -in fact they didn't know what was going on at all. I just kind of 'woke up' one day on my own -thankfully I was 18 and not 28 or 38 or 48... Hope it all works out. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #15 January 31, 2008 Usually, you don't get "rumors of using coke" unless there is some truth there somewhere. Coke is also expensive. Some theft incidents are another indicator. You might tell his mom to evaluate his friend situation. Are there any new friends that might be involved? As Dave Chapelle says, "Sometimes, the only thing that a drug user has in common with his friends is that they are using too." I don't want anyone to get real defensive, but a lot of otherwise straight guys buy it for their g/f. If he hooked up with some new g/f who is startlingly hot, that's a sign. You'd be amazed at who dates who, just for the drugs. Parents recognize how bad the divorce hurts them. When you are a teen, every emotion is magnified by a factor of ten. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crotalus01 0 #16 January 31, 2008 For a piss test, Cocaine is undetectable within 24 hours of use in most cases. As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #17 January 31, 2008 Skymama, I'd like to point out that there is a lot of love in the skydiving community and if your friend ever finds drugs in her son's possessions, there will be no shortage of people here who will take those horrible substances from her and dispose of them properly.Oh, and if it's one of those really hot teachers who like to cause problems by having their students, please refer her to me for counseling. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hausse 0 #18 January 31, 2008 Before I would do any judgement I would have him retake the test for Marijuana in a few days. There are several ways a test can be a false positive. For example if you drink a six pack of mountain dew a few hours before the test, it will most likely be positive altough you have never smoked pot. One of the coloring agents has one of the same substances as THC does after it is digested. I would not rely on just one test if the boy still denies he smokes pot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
monkycndo 0 #19 January 31, 2008 It is more expensive, but have the hair analyzed. It will give a much better answer as to what the kid has been doing.50 donations so far. Give it a try. You know you want to spank it Jump an Infinity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #20 January 31, 2008 Walt, you're earning your nickname. I just talked to her. Apparently, there was a big blow-up with the dad today and John is packing his stuff to move back in with her. That's good, she's more diligent. She told me she stayed up one night and found him trying to sneak out 4 times in one night! She found one of those fake lemons (from the grocery section) in his drawer with the hole in it cut larger. She's guessing it held someone else's urine and that's probably how he passed his last test. She's probably right, huh? I told her about the hair test. She knew about them, she just didn't think she'd have to do one. My suggestion was that they don't just take the car, they sell the car. They've taken away his cell phone, but his brother's has come up missing. She just put two-and-two together when we were talking about where that phone might be. She even takes her modem with her to work so he can't get in touch with his friends on the internet. The dad isn't working right now, so I suggested that he go to school with him until John stops skipping. I also think he should be picked up from school and go straight to dad's house until mom comes home. I'm sure that will be too much effort for dad though. Mom said his first reaction was to just kick John out of the house. Yeah, that'll get him back on track. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #21 January 31, 2008 QuoteBefore I would do any judgement I would have him retake the test for Marijuana in a few days. They found paraphernalia and the kids talk about him smoking. They're just wondering if marijuana is the least of their problems now.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #22 January 31, 2008 How old is this kid? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #23 January 31, 2008 He's 17. She said he turns 18 in November, so the clock is ticking...She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #24 January 31, 2008 QuoteHe's 17. She said he turns 18 in November, so the clock is ticking... Perhaps a nice visit to the local state pen - scared strait still works. Boot camp is another option.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelpdiver 2 #25 January 31, 2008 ow, this has death spiral (figurative or literally) written all over it. Testing the kid constantly for drugs, taking everything away, trying to lock him down is going to spur a response from him. The nature of young men is to rebel from such authority, and the harder mom tries, the worse he'll behave. I have no idea what can be done - it's not like not parenting is a good idea either. This is why being an uncle rules. Can the kid be shipped out of state to Grandma's for a semester? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
