Everyone be honest

[galvar2439 0]

Ok, a few threads here got me to thinking about relationships. Let me start by asking people to be honest. Please put aside your emotions for a moment and just answer the questions honestly. Women say they want a nice guy, but more often than not, nice finishes last, this holds true in bussiness as well by the way. I dont know why but its like your not man or macho enough or maybe women find it boring? Before someone goes postal here, i am not saying this is the way it should be, i am saying its what i have observed. These are my opinions and am only asking out of curiousity and at some points in my life, Frustration.

1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..

3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway

4) humiliates you in public.

There are so many others i could ask, but it might be pushing it

GUYS

1) Have you ever purposely treated a woman bad to establish "who is boss".

2) have you ever treated a woman good only to hear, "your like a brother".

3) Have you hurt a womans feelings but knew she will be there when you call.

So i just broke up with this woman who wasn't even my girlfriend!

Hellfish #782, POPS #10664

[cocheese 0]

Guy:
!) No
2) Yes
3) No

[SarahC07 0]

1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?

I've been cheated on once and I dropped him, fast and never turned back.

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..

Yes. There are so many other things in a relationship that matter so much more.

3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway

Nope, never had this situation arise.

4) humiliates you in public.

Never experienced this one, either. I generally date pretty upstanding guys.

[poe62 0]

I'll play your game since I tend to fall for jerks...


1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?
Yes, because I want to believe in him, so I forgive him.

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..
Only one person I've dated ever remembered those days.

3)He doesn't call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway
...and they're always dumb unbelievable excuses too...and yet, I still want(ed) him

4) humiliates you in public.
mhmm

~Nikki
http://www.facebook.com/poe62

Irgity Dirgity

[Icon134 0]

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1) Have you ever purposely treated a woman bad to establish "who is boss".

No... I know better then to think I'm in charge... of course I'm kidding...

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2) have you ever treated a woman good only to hear, "your like a brother".

I suppose I have... but I suppose that's because I generally as a rule treat others as I want to be treated... which is to say I try to be polite and considerate and yet not let people walk all over me. Not every girl is going to like me in that certain way and that's ok... of course I'm engaged to one right now that does...

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3) Have you hurt a womans feelings but knew she will be there when you call.

um... I probably have hurt someones feelings before... of course that's the nature of things sometimes you inadvertantely step on others toes... even if it's not intentional... I can't please everyone...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[BillyVance 34]

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GUYS

1) Have you ever purposely treated a woman bad to establish "who is boss".

No. Never. While I do take the lead in certain matters, my marriage for all intents and purposes is a partnership.

2) have you ever treated a woman good only to hear, "your like a brother".

Yeah, a couple of times I got that statement.

3) Have you hurt a womans feelings but knew she will be there when you call.

Never intentionally. I had a problem with getting my feet in my mouth without thinking years ago.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Jewels 0]

1-4: NO! Those things can and do happen, but I tend to think that women who stay in situations like that do it not because they like the bad boys, but because they don't have the self-esteem to move on. Obviously, that's not a universal truth but I think it's often the case.

[Edited to add that forgetting special occasions can just be an honest mistake. A mental lapse is a lot different than someone who just can't be bothered--and you can usually tell the difference!]

The person I dated before my current boyfriend fell into the category of thinking he could do as he liked but that I'd always be there when he called. It didn't work that way and I think he was honestly perplexed when I wasn't available whenever he snapped his fingers. Maybe he's used to being able to do that but I'm not going to play that game. It goes both ways. Men AND women should follow the Golden Rule when it comes to dating. I don't always get it right, but I try, and I expect as much in return.

The man I'm dating now absolutely falls into the "nice guy" category and it's wonderful. It took a long time to find but it was worth the wait. Don't give up on being the good guy. Some of us really appreciate that!

TPM Sister #102

[Andy_Copland 0]

1) Have you ever purposely treated a woman bad to establish "who is boss".

Kinda, if i got moaned at for going out with friends and heard "im telling you, you better stay out the fucking pub"blah blah blah then i would go and get wasted. If it was "Please dont come back drunk" i would be alright with that. But boss tone doesn't work with me.

2) have you ever treated a woman good only to hear, "your like a brother".

Yep

3) Have you hurt a womans feelings but knew she will be there when you call.

Nope

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[cocheese 0]

Damn, You're taken. I knew it.

[Jewels 0]

I was lucky to be asked out by him. People say he's a good guy, and it's true.

TPM Sister #102

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..

3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway

For any women who answer 'yes' to all three of the above questions in reference to a single guy, PM a recent pic.

[cocheese 0]

I'm happy you found someone nice.

I'm too far away anyway.... And Sartre won't let me near you.

[Ripple 0]

Yes, I've been the doormat who's let a man totally rule her. I was cheated on for five years, three of them knowingly. There were many things he did that were totally unacceptable. I put up with it partly because I thought he would change for me (*roll_eyes*), and partly because I thought that's all I was worth. That I would be able to get anyone else and if I didnt' have him, I'd be alone for ever.

I finally realised that being alone was preferable. But it took a long while. Then I met a guy who treats me with such respect and such tenderness I could weep. He's what some people may refer disparagingly to as a 'nice guy', but since I have experienced the alternative, I know he's nothing but a good man.


ETS: he puts up with the mood swings. What can I say?

Next Mood Swing: 6 minutes

[SSHusky 0]

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1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?

absolutely not! If a guy ever cheated on me, then it was over...

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2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..

Once I had a boyfriend who forgot vday even though it was our anniversary... we broke up shortly after.

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3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway

If he was being a jerk like that, he would never get action.

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4) humiliates you in public.

I like to tease myself and set myself up to be teased but I never had anyone truely humilate me in public... I tend to go for the nice guys...

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?
Not sure. My ex-husband had one long term affair that I know of, I suspect there was probably more. But, for the sake of me wanting the whole white picket fence and baby thing, I begged him to not divorce *me*. I was such a fucking idiot. And he divorced me and never looked back.

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..
To date, I haven't had this issue with anyone I dated.

3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway
To date, I haven't had this issue with anyone I dated. However, if it did happen, there'd be absolutely no boot knocking.

4) humiliates you in public.
I used date a guy when I was in my early 20s who kept following me after I broke up with him. He came to a nightclub and was staring in the windows watching me and my girlfriends. Then he came in and was crying at our table, begging me to take him back. That was fucking humiliating for ME, because then he said I was a slut because I wouldn't stay with him. He was the biggest fucking psycho after I dumped him. Ugh.

Always be kinder than you feel.

[LadiDadi 0]

Sorry this is so long but I spend so much of my 'free' time trying to knock some bit of sense into my single friends over these very same issues. It's a hot topic for me.

1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?

Nope. To my knowledge, I've only been cheated on once by one guy.

I've only given out one 'get out of jail free' card in my entire life. One night, one mistake and he immediately came home and immediately told me what happened. It took time but I forgave him. I've never forgotten, though. Neither has he.

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..

My husband can never remember my birthday. Period. We met each other a couple of weeks before my 16th birthday - that was in 1988 - so he has had plenty of time and plenty of birthdays to figure it out. He can't. My birthday is September 7th and he always has it narrowed down to two possible dates - the 7th or the 10th. I derive more fun out of teasing him over it...

On the other hand, he has gotten sooooo angry with me for forgetting Valentines Day - as well as for bad-mouithing Valentines Day (it really is a stupid concept). Also, I was the one who insisted that we get married on a holiday or a date that had some other significance so I could remember when our anniversary was. December 31st. New Years' Eve.

3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway

I dated a guy sort of like this. He just never bothered with the excuse part. He didn't always get laid anyway, that depended on my mood at the time. It frustrated the hell out of me, for sure, but I knew that it wasn't because he was up to no good - he's just a solitary sort of guy and likes his alone time. That was ages ago and the relationship didn't work out for a lot of reasons - he is, to this day, my best friend and he will still go for ages without calling!

4) humiliates you in public.

Humiliates me in public by accident? Yeah, that happens. Every member of my family has done that.

I assume that you mean a guy who puts a woman down or verbally abuses her in public, right? If that's the case then the answer is:

HELL NO!! There is no difference - to me - between verbal abuse and physical abuse. They both stem from exactly the same place and neither one ends well and neither one 'happend just that once'. Period. End of discussion on that.

Attempt to humiliate me in public or in private and see what happens. Come prepared for battle.

It's a lucky man that hits me twice.


I think the core of what a lot of people think is women seeking 'bad boys' has nothing to do with the 7 questions you have asked. Someone who fits that profile isn't a 'bad boy' - he's an asshole. There is a difference.

To use a corny, but appropriate term, men want a 'Lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets'. Right? Men want a woman who, when in public or especially around his friends, puts on a show of being a perfect Miss Manners sort of lady. Meanwhile, he's nudging his friends and whispering "Yeah, but you should see her in the sack!" And all his buddies are jealous.

Most women want the same thing but somewhat opposite. They want a guy who gives off an air of mystery and slight danger but is a gentleman. Think James Bond. Women want a guy with an edge to them. That doesn't mean that they want a guy who's an asshole and that treats them like shit. Every woman's 'edge' is different. Maybe 'diverse' is a better word.

Don't we all, to some degree, seek that thing that is missing in ourselves in the other person?

Nice guys don't finish last, boring guys do. Nice isn't boring but one dimensional is.

If a woman thinks that guys who fit the profile you've asked about are quality and worth dating, it's best to steer clear of them. There is something terribly wrong with a woman who thinks that those things are okay and a man is not what she needs - unless he's a therapist.

I just happened to talk to my dad this morning as I was reading this and asked him the three questions you posed to men and the answers were:

1) Have you ever purposely treated a woman bad to establish "who is boss".

Dad - "HAHAHAHAHA... Yeah, right. You've met your mother, right? Remember your grandmother, my mother? I have spent nearly 40 years of my life vowing to face down all enemies foreign and domestic, and have even done so on many occasions. I'm not brave enough to try to show a woman 'who is boss'"

2) have you ever treated a woman good only to hear, "your like a brother".

Dad - "All the time. They still do. It bothered me when I was dating but now it's fine. I'm married and happy and have lots of female friends and hear the brother or dad statement a lot. It's actually nice." (he has a lot of female friends - most of his friends are female - and my mom is perfectly okay with it)

3) Have you hurt a womans feelings but knew she will be there when you call.

Dad - "If I ever purposely hurt a woman's feelings, I didn't bother to call. Which I suppose hurt their feelings even more. If I did it by accident, they usually called me and ripped me up for it. I groveled as best as I could."

He also said, for the benefit of both men and women here "It isn't a sign of 'manliness' to treat a woman like dirt. What makes a man 'manly' is when he is secure enough with himself to be a gentleman and treat a woman with kindness and as an absolute equal in all things. Any man who thinks otherwise is wrong. Any woman who thinks otherwise? Someone needs to have a stern talking-to with their daddies.

If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll be happy to do it for you.
****************************
Be like the cupcake and suck it up.

[airathanas 0]

1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?
Never had a guy cheat on me.

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..
Haven't had this problem.

3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway
Again I haven't had this problem

4) humiliates you in public
Now this has been a problem at dropzones, but not public. We've worked things out and he doesn't do this anymore

http://3ringnecklace.com/

[Icon134 0]

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He also said, for the benefit of both men and women here "It isn't a sign of 'manliness' to treat a woman like dirt. What makes a man 'manly' is when he is secure enough with himself to be a gentleman and treat a woman with kindness and as an absolute equal in all things. Any man who thinks otherwise is wrong. Any woman who thinks otherwise? Someone needs to have a stern talking-to with their daddies.

Well said... your father is definitely an officer and a gentleman...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[Amazon 7]

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1-4: NO! Those things can and do happen, but I tend to think that women who stay in situations like that do it not because they like the bad boys, but because they don't have the self-esteem to move on. Obviously, that's not a universal truth but I think it's often the case.

[Edited to add that forgetting special occasions can just be an honest mistake. A mental lapse is a lot different than someone who just can't be bothered--and you can usually tell the difference!]

+1

If that kind of crap is happening.... look yourself in the mirror.... go WTF....and toss his crap on the front lawn....NOW

I can forgive some forgotten anniversaries.. but birthdays... not so much.

[lisamariewillbe 1]

1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?

Yes, but if Id known he had cheated I would not have.

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..

Of course, it would be superficial to leave because one doesnt receive a gift. If anyone is waiting for holidays to show and feel love then something is wrong.

3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway

Of course, Im not clingy and in fact when I was dating would get annoyed if I did not have enough space. He would not have needed excuses on why he isnt calling me all the time.

4) humiliates you in public.

Nope, that guy got dropped rather fast.


Some people have different ideas and desires in a relationship, what one would consider a bad guy may be a good guy to another. Also just because one may think another is a bad guy and can not understand why so and so is in a relationship with another does not mean that "bad" guy treats his girlfriend poorly.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[galvar2439 0]

Quote

I'll play your game since I tend to fall for jerks...


1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?
Yes, because I want to believe in him, so I forgive him.

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..
Only one person I've dated ever remembered those days.

3)He doesn't call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway
...and they're always dumb unbelievable excuses too...and yet, I still want(ed) him

4) humiliates you in public.
mhmm

You? Fall for Jerks?, come on your a tiger/lioness/leopard/panther/bobcat skydiver, i thought you chewed them up and spit them out. Is it RRRRRRRRRRAAAARRRRR or meow?. Well at least your honest.

So i just broke up with this woman who wasn't even my girlfriend!

Hellfish #782, POPS #10664

[galvar2439 0]

Quote

Sorry this is so long but I spend so much of my 'free' time trying to knock some bit of sense into my single friends over these very same issues. It's a hot topic for me.

1)Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once?

Nope. To my knowledge, I've only been cheated on once by one guy.

I've only given out one 'get out of jail free' card in my entire life. One night, one mistake and he immediately came home and immediately told me what happened. It took time but I forgave him. I've never forgotten, though. Neither has he.

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc..

My husband can never remember my birthday. Period. We met each other a couple of weeks before my 16th birthday - that was in 1988 - so he has had plenty of time and plenty of birthdays to figure it out. He can't. My birthday is September 7th and he always has it narrowed down to two possible dates - the 7th or the 10th. I derive more fun out of teasing him over it...

On the other hand, he has gotten sooooo angry with me for forgetting Valentines Day - as well as for bad-mouithing Valentines Day (it really is a stupid concept). Also, I was the one who insisted that we get married on a holiday or a date that had some other significance so I could remember when our anniversary was. December 31st. New Years' Eve.

3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anyway

I dated a guy sort of like this. He just never bothered with the excuse part. He didn't always get laid anyway, that depended on my mood at the time. It frustrated the hell out of me, for sure, but I knew that it wasn't because he was up to no good - he's just a solitary sort of guy and likes his alone time. That was ages ago and the relationship didn't work out for a lot of reasons - he is, to this day, my best friend and he will still go for ages without calling!

4) humiliates you in public.

Humiliates me in public by accident? Yeah, that happens. Every member of my family has done that.

I assume that you mean a guy who puts a woman down or verbally abuses her in public, right? If that's the case then the answer is:

HELL NO!! There is no difference - to me - between verbal abuse and physical abuse. They both stem from exactly the same place and neither one ends well and neither one 'happend just that once'. Period. End of discussion on that.

Attempt to humiliate me in public or in private and see what happens. Come prepared for battle.

It's a lucky man that hits me twice.


I think the core of what a lot of people think is women seeking 'bad boys' has nothing to do with the 7 questions you have asked. Someone who fits that profile isn't a 'bad boy' - he's an asshole. There is a difference.

To use a corny, but appropriate term, men want a 'Lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets'. Right? Men want a woman who, when in public or especially around his friends, puts on a show of being a perfect Miss Manners sort of lady. Meanwhile, he's nudging his friends and whispering "Yeah, but you should see her in the sack!" And all his buddies are jealous.

Most women want the same thing but somewhat opposite. They want a guy who gives off an air of mystery and slight danger but is a gentleman. Think James Bond. Women want a guy with an edge to them. That doesn't mean that they want a guy who's an asshole and that treats them like shit. Every woman's 'edge' is different. Maybe 'diverse' is a better word.

Don't we all, to some degree, seek that thing that is missing in ourselves in the other person?

Nice guys don't finish last, boring guys do. Nice isn't boring but one dimensional is.

If a woman thinks that guys who fit the profile you've asked about are quality and worth dating, it's best to steer clear of them. There is something terribly wrong with a woman who thinks that those things are okay and a man is not what she needs - unless he's a therapist.

I just happened to talk to my dad this morning as I was reading this and asked him the three questions you posed to men and the answers were:

1) Have you ever purposely treated a woman bad to establish "who is boss".

Dad - "HAHAHAHAHA... Yeah, right. You've met your mother, right? Remember your grandmother, my mother? I have spent nearly 40 years of my life vowing to face down all enemies foreign and domestic, and have even done so on many occasions. I'm not brave enough to try to show a woman 'who is boss'"

2) have you ever treated a woman good only to hear, "your like a brother".

Dad - "All the time. They still do. It bothered me when I was dating but now it's fine. I'm married and happy and have lots of female friends and hear the brother or dad statement a lot. It's actually nice." (he has a lot of female friends - most of his friends are female - and my mom is perfectly okay with it)

3) Have you hurt a womans feelings but knew she will be there when you call.

Dad - "If I ever purposely hurt a woman's feelings, I didn't bother to call. Which I suppose hurt their feelings even more. If I did it by accident, they usually called me and ripped me up for it. I groveled as best as I could."

He also said, for the benefit of both men and women here "It isn't a sign of 'manliness' to treat a woman like dirt. What makes a man 'manly' is when he is secure enough with himself to be a gentleman and treat a woman with kindness and as an absolute equal in all things. Any man who thinks otherwise is wrong. Any woman who thinks otherwise? Someone needs to have a stern talking-to with their daddies.

WOW, this really is a hot topic for you.

So i just broke up with this woman who wasn't even my girlfriend!

Hellfish #782, POPS #10664

[poe62 0]

Quote

You? Fall for Jerks?, come on your a tiger/lioness/leopard/panther/bobcat skydiver, i thought you chewed them up and spit them out. Is it RRRRRRRRRRAAAARRRRR or meow?. Well at least your honest.

...unless you let your guard down and fall for them.

...and it's puuuuurrrr.

~Nikki
http://www.facebook.com/poe62

Irgity Dirgity

[mrwrong 0]

Guy:
1) No
2) Yes
3) No

“The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.” - George Bernard Shaw
He who dies with the most toys, wins.....
dudeist skydiver # 19515
Buy quality and cry once!

[mamajumps 0]

1)[B]Have you ever stayed with a guy after he cheated more than once? [/B]
yes, my ex-husband becuase we had kids together and he had me convinced that I was a worthless POS that no one else would want.

2)Stayed with him even thought he never remembers any b/day,v/day etc.. never dealt with this, with that being said to me valentine's day is a useless holiday that was created by the card companies to make more money and well once you get to a certain age bday's don't mean much either, so I really don't think it would bother me much.

3)He doesnt call for days, but when he does gives big excuse and gets laid anywaymy ex-husband in a nut shell... and I was always trying to keep him happy

4) humiliates you in public. never really dealt with this either, but knowing me and my sarcastic self, he would have a hard time humilitaing me in public w/o the table being turned on him...