My ex is so stupid

[airdvr 200]

I posted here a few days ago about my son getting a scholarship to University of Toledo. 6k/year...not a paltry sum. I was very excited about this. My son plans a mechanical engineering future and UT has an Engineering dorm. The thought is that living with other students under the pressure of handling the engineering workload is a good idea. I agree.

This weekend I find out of a "plan" my ex has formulated to "save money".

It appears my son will forgo the scholarship at UT. I was surprised until I heard the rest of the story. Her plan is to allow my sone and 2 or 3 of his friends to live in one of her slumlord rentals in Akron rent free. They will then lie to the University of Akron about it and this will save housing money.

I'm most certain that these 18 year olds will behave as adults and attend classes regularly.

I'm really pissed about this. What sane person does this?

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[ElJosh 0]

Talk to him but let him make the choice as he is an adult now.

DS #149
Yes I only have 3 jumps...it's the magic number dude.

[airdvr 200]

Absolutely. It's his choice but I don't think he needed this extra incentive. ANd his mother has now put me in the unenviable position of being the bad guy once again.

What 18yo wouldn't want to live in his own place with his friends?

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[ElJosh 0]

I was in a fraternity for my first year of college. Most parents I know would cringe at the idea of their son or daughter going Greek but honestly it was the only thing that kept my grades up. I only dropped it because I was moving to another state and I didn't like the house at the new school.
Just come up with a list of pro and cons for each and focus on what you would consider pros and cons at that age. Dorms are not nearly as safe as one might think and there is plenty of distraction all around even on the "nerd floors." My brother lost his full ride from K-State in chemical engineering because he was hooked on D&D as were most of the other guys on his floor.
~El Josh AKA Ruby

DS #149
Yes I only have 3 jumps...it's the magic number dude.

[flamingo 0]

Having received a scholarship is a nice line on your CV, so it would be silly to give that up regardless.

That aside, I think there is a difference between living with other students who are doing similar courses and living with friends. I have no idea what you son and his friends are like, so this is no reflection on them, but I think if I was in that situation I would be much more likely to study and less likely to get up to stupid shit if I lived in the dorm (at least, until I made irresponsible friends in the dorm). It would at least force you son to broaden his horizons, meet new people, get exposed to new ideas, etc.

[Icon134 0]

UT is a good school... I hope he makes the choice to go there on scholarship...

FWIW I lived in a Fraternity for the last few years of college (I lived at home for the first few years) but the Fraternity I was in is an Enneering and Science... and everybody studied regularly...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[labrys 0]

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I'm most certain that these 18 year olds will behave as adults and attend classes regularly.

That's a real concern but another thing that struck me is that they're being encouraged to lie about the housing. That's a pretty bad lesson to teach young guys just getting started.

Owned by Remi #?

[lawrocket 3]

The biggest risk in this is not the bad grades - it is the risk of expulsion or suspension for lying about it. Universities don't look kindly upon it, and such a thing is a gift that keeps on giving. Engineers often work in things that require a security clearance. Expulsions for moral terpitude mean "kiss that good bye."

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[dropdeded 0]

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The biggest risk in this is not the bad grades - it is the risk of expulsion or suspension for lying about it. Universities don't look kindly upon it, and such a thing is a gift that keeps on giving. Engineers often work in things that require a security clearance. Expulsions for moral terpitude mean "kiss that good bye."

My thoughts too. Teach youngsters to lie, good lesson there

------------------------------------------
The Dude Abides.
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[ffp1974 0]

My son is finishing his Chemical Eng degree this spring. He already has a job in Denver working for a great oil company.

A friend of his also got a job with this company, but they found out that he got a DUI his freshman year and recinded the offer.

The provide vehicles to the engineers and didn't want the exposure.

So if they are that tough on alcohol, I can imagine what they would do, if they found out that the young man they are interviewing lied about housing to a college.

It is really competitive in the engineering work force. I would do anything that would jepardize my future.

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

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I'm most certain that these 18 year olds will behave as adults and attend classes regularly.

That's a real concern but another thing that struck me is that they're being encouraged to lie about the housing. That's a pretty bad lesson to teach young guys just getting started.

+1

Is that loan/scholarship fraud or something?? Maybe I'm missing the financial point... ??

Always be kinder than you feel.

[virgigirlie 0]

Is he being encouraged to lie and say that he's living in campus housing when he's not? I never lived in dorms, it was all apartments for me in college, but damn near every friend I made at school lived in a dorm at some point. They check those things. There's an R.A. People know if a room's been sitting empty. The school's for sure going to find out he's not living on campus.

Why does he have to lie about his living situation? Does UT require freshmen to live on campus? Won't that scholarship cover a couple of semesters of housing? Plus, if he tells the school he's living on campus they're gonna charge him for it. Or is the plan to lie and say he's living off campus to get more federal aid while he's really pseudo living at home? Does your ex realize that she's going to be missing out on rent money and still having to pay taxes and other general bills? And if he gets extra federal aid in the form of loans, he has to pay those back. Which is better than a scholarship that doesn't need to be repaid with interest...?

Maybe I don't really understand the plan. I see no moral or fiscal upside.

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." ~Catherine Aird

[airdvr 200]

We live close enough that he can be a "commuting" freshman...but only if he lives at home.

But yes, he is being encouraged to lie about it. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. SHe's a liar also.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[chaoskitty 0]

Sounds like Daddy needs to put his foot down.

[akarunway 1]

Quote

Quote

I'm most certain that these 18 year olds will behave as adults and attend classes regularly.

That's a real concern but another thing that struck me is that they're being encouraged to lie about the housing. That's a pretty bad lesson to teach young guys just getting started.

It's possibly criminal also.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[skymama 35]

Is he still going to depend on you for financial help? How about explaining to him about how you refuse to compromise your values in order to save a little money, so you will only help him out if he sticks to the original plan.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[Halfpastniner 0]

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Her plan is to allow my sone and 2 or 3 of his friends to live in one of her slumlord rentals in Akron rent free. They will then lie to the University of Akron about it and this will save housing money.

I'm most certain that these 18 year olds will behave as adults and attend classes regularly.

I'm really pissed about this. What sane person does this?

Whats wrong with the slumlord rentals at akron?

Is there any chance of him getting a scholarship to UA? If he can get 6 grand from UT he should be able to get money from Akron as well. AFAIK Akron has a pretty good engineering program as well (maybe not a UT grade)

Im very happy with akron, they have been pouring in money to improve the place.

If he ends up coming here have him look me up i live on Wheeler

BASE 1384

[popsjumper 2]

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I'm most certain that these 18 year olds will behave as adults and attend classes regularly.

That's a real concern but another thing that struck me is that they're being encouraged to lie about the housing. That's a pretty bad lesson to teach young guys just getting started.

You said a mouthful.

"OK, son. Here we go with teaching you that it's OK to lie and cheat. With luck and skill you can carry it right on through your entire life!"

Yep, that's what I want MY boy to learn. Yep. Right there it is.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239