Nataly 38 #1 August 30, 2010 This topic has circulated a number of times and keeps rearing its ugly head every time a single gal talks about the difficulties of "finding the right guy"... So here is the myth: attractive girls can find a man without even batting an eyelash. Ok, that is obviously exaggerated, but you get the idea... Now, I'm sure that a beautiful woman probably *would* find more men interested in her, but ultimately, given each person is unique and has unique tastes, there should still be the same percentage of "suitable" soul-mates for attractive people as the uglies. The fact that an attractive person may have more suitors doesn't mean that those suitors are "suitable"... You know, it's a bit like having satellite TV... Sure, there are more options, but what good is having 350 channels of crap telly when all you want is a really good movie?!! So here is my theory... More choice does not equal more "Mr. Rights". Any thoughts?"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gators1240 9 #2 August 30, 2010 I think you are right but to a point. Statistically the more options you have the more likely you are to find what you want. With that being said I have noticed that a lot of time the more attractive a woman is they tend to get somewhat of an ego (depending on the person of course) and may overlook the perfect person for them simply due to a first impression. Just my .02 :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #3 August 30, 2010 So an obstacle for ugly women could be self-esteem, and an obstacle for beautiful women could be ego? Interesting... But on your first point, I'm arguing the complete opposite to what you are saying... I'm saying that more choice doesn't mean better options. So that would mean that statistically you are *not* more likely to find what you want even if you do have more choice. In any case, this is a theory, and since it's not possible to prove it, you can't say I'm "right" or "wrong" - just that you agree or disagree (or that you want to add something to consider)! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gators1240 9 #4 August 30, 2010 Well I'm not saying you are right or wrong or I am rit or wrong. You can look at it a few different ways. While a more attractive woman may attract more men, they also attract different types of guys. Just like you said with the less attractive women overcoming self esteem issues some guys may do the same thing with a more attractive woman and not approach her thinking they don't have a shot. Or may think she is high maintenance/shallow and not want to waste their time. Now I personally don't go out of my way to try and find anyone. if I meet someone and we click then great, but i don't see the point in putting expectations or pressure on top of a situation where I don't really know someone. People are generally much different when first meeting then they really are Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #5 August 30, 2010 Quote People are generally much different when first meeting then they really are BOY do I agree with you there!! And the WORST thing is that we all know this and all do it ourselves anyway!! And don't we all think we're the exception to this rule?!! (Because of course there are always exceptions...) Aren't we a funny bunch??!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jim_32766 0 #6 August 30, 2010 I think an attractive woman can have a more difficult time meeting Mr. Right. They can appear to be, or actually be, so busy weeding through all the attention from many suitors that Mr. Right may be put off, and not even approach. The woman can also be affected by all the attention, thus impeding her ability to recognize Mr. Right. I guess I basically agree with your assumption, but think it can go even further. Too many choices, and too much attention, may diminish the probability of finding Mr. Right. Of course this is a generalization. Each woman is unique and some may handle the situation better than others.The meaning of life . . . is to make life have meaning. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
danornan 64 #7 August 30, 2010 I don't think I've ever responded to one of these questions because the answers and responses tend to quickly go away from the initial question. Before your theory can be addressed, "what is the right guy?" My answer would be that it is different for everyone. When you are young, you have preconceived visual notions, but as you age they change. As you get more mature, you open your eyes and see below the surface. The qualities that are important at 20 are different at 35. I haven't dated since the mid 70's but I don't think a lot has changed. The right guy has a lot to do with compatibility, not looks. The looks will change and if the emotional attractions are not there, the "right guy" becomes someone else.Dano Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #8 August 30, 2010 QuoteThe right guy has a lot to do with compatibility, not looks. EXACTLY. And finding a compatible mate, I'm arguing, is not more statistically probable for attractive women, because the percentage of compatible mates for them should be the same as for non-attractive women (in theory)."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
danornan 64 #9 August 30, 2010 Looks will definitely get more initial attention, but if the spark or passion is not there, best to keep looking. I can still remember the feelings I had with my wife in the beginning. They are still there! Unfortunately, too much time today seems to be wasted on initial attraction and immediate gratification. Best way for a good relationship to develop is slowly... As in skydiving, slow is fast!Dano Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #10 August 30, 2010 QuoteLooks with definitely get more initial attention, but if the spark or passion is not there, best to keep looking. I can still remember the feeling I had when with my wife in the beginning. Unfortunately, too much time today seems to be wasted on initial attraction and immediate gratification. Best way for a good relationship to develop is slowly... As in skydiving, slow is fast! I think most people would agree that pretty women get more attention... But that's where I think some people mistake that to mean that they have an easier time finding a good match. Finding a man is one thing... Finding a great partner is quite another... And I think great relationships don't happen over night... They take time and nurturing in order to grow and mature... That's why you so often meet someone you really like and only discover several weeks/months/years later that it's not working... Takes time to really get to know someone... Heck - it takes time to really get to know yourself!!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #11 August 30, 2010 Quote Quote The right guy has a lot to do with compatibility, not looks. EXACTLY. And finding a compatible mate, I'm arguing, is not more statistically probable for attractive women, because the percentage of compatible mates for them should be the same as for non-attractive women (in theory). for an accountant you don't think to hard about the numbers do you? the probability is not statistically the same for FINDING a life mate. It may well be that there is a similar probability that there is a compatible mate OUT THERE, but that is NOT the same as the probability of finding said mate. That statistic goes UP with the more contact opportunities So attractive people with good personal skills will have a much higher probability than an Ughlee or a Pretty but Socially fucked up person will. Having said that Im an Ugh, with no social skills and i lucked out You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #12 August 30, 2010 QuoteQuoteQuoteThe right guy has a lot to do with compatibility, not looks. EXACTLY. And finding a compatible mate, I'm arguing, is not more statistically probable for attractive women, because the percentage of compatible mates for them should be the same as for non-attractive women (in theory). for an accountant you don't think to hard about the numbers do you? the probability is not statistically the same for FINDING a life mate. It may well be that there is a similar probability that there is a compatible mate OUT THERE, but that is NOT the same as the probability of finding said mate. That statistic goes UP with the more contact opportunities So attractive people with good personal skills will have a much higher probability than an Ughlee or a Pretty but Socially fucked up person will. If the theory is correct (that there are the same % of suitable mates for attractive compared to unattractive women), then *finding* the right one is not easier for an attractive woman than an unattractive woman. So by adding another variable (social skills), you are changing the equation, and therefore not looking at the same problem. In a way, it reinforces my theory... That attractiveness is not the determining factor to "finding the right guy"."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #13 August 30, 2010 Shallow or deep... you can't have both. (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #14 August 30, 2010 QuoteShallow or deep... you can't have both. Not sure where you're going with this??!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #15 August 30, 2010 Quote Quote Quote Quote The right guy has a lot to do with compatibility, not looks. EXACTLY. And finding a compatible mate, I'm arguing, is not more statistically probable for attractive women, because the percentage of compatible mates for them should be the same as for non-attractive women (in theory). for an accountant you don't think to hard about the numbers do you? the probability is not statistically the same for FINDING a life mate. It may well be that there is a similar probability that there is a compatible mate OUT THERE, but that is NOT the same as the probability of finding said mate. That statistic goes UP with the more contact opportunities So attractive people with good personal skills will have a much higher probability than an Ughlee or a Pretty but Socially fucked up person will. If the theory is correct (that there are the same % of suitable mates for attractive compared to unattractive women), then *finding* the right one is not easier for an attractive woman than an unattractive woman. So by adding another variable (social skills), you are changing the equation, and therefore not looking at the same problem. In a way, it reinforces my theory... That attractiveness is not the determining factor to "finding the right guy". Re Read the thread. FINDING a partner is INCREASED but OPPORTUNITY, If you have 100 people in the world that are compatatbile with you the more people you MEET the more the case is you will find one or more of those 100. If you are ATTRACTIVE and therefore get more attention then you chances of FINDING, GO UP. If you are UGHLEE and NO One talks to you your chances are SLIM. It's not really University level Stats hereYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #16 August 30, 2010 Quote Re Read the thread. FINDING a partner is INCREASED but OPPORTUNITY, If you have 100 people in the world that are compatatbile with you the more people you MEET the more the case is you will find one or more of those 100. If you are ATTRACTIVE and therefore get more attention then you chances of FINDING, GO UP. If you are UGHLEE and NO One talks to you your chances are SLIM. It's not really University level Stats here Fucking hell... You can be a real asshat sometimes, Squeak. I see your point now - and you have a good one - but you don't have to insult me to say it. Why don't you just say something without putting me down in the process?? It's simply something I hadn't thought about. Isn't that the point of a discussion? To broaden your ideas about something by listening to different points of view/arguments?"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #17 August 30, 2010 Quote Quote It's not really University level Stats here Fucking hell... You can be a real asshat sometimes, Squeak. I see your point now - and you have a good one - but you don't have to insult me to say it. Why don't you just say something without putting me down in the process?? It's simply something I hadn't thought about. Isn't that the point of a discussion? To broaden your ideas about something by listening to different points of view/arguments? Hey I was being NICE.. I was going to say... I can see why you keep failing you Accountancy exams... But I didn't You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #18 August 30, 2010 Quote Quote Quote It's not really University level Stats here Fucking hell... You can be a real asshat sometimes, Squeak. I see your point now - and you have a good one - but you don't have to insult me to say it. Why don't you just say something without putting me down in the process?? It's simply something I hadn't thought about. Isn't that the point of a discussion? To broaden your ideas about something by listening to different points of view/arguments? Hey I was being NICE.. I was going to say... I can see why you keep failing you Accountancy exams... But I didn't Yeah, well I've never been very good with numbers, that's true. And I'll admit that. And if you were honest you'd admit that you were NOT being nice. But even what you're saying about meeting more people.. It's not necessarily the case.. Guys often say they feel too intimidated to talk to beautiful girls, so just because more people are attracted to beautiful girls doesn't mean they meet or talk to more people. In fact the opposite might be true... Ugly women may meet more men because men are not afraid to talk to them."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #19 August 30, 2010 Quote So here is my theory... More choice does not equal more "Mr. Rights". Any thoughts? Agreed! I'm far from being a "beauty", but somehow got plenty of "choice" over the years. I thought I met "Mr. Right" once or twice - it turned out they were faking it ... As the years go by and the "choice" is becoming more scarce (me getting older, set in my ways and less willing to compromise and also the pool of available men shrinking), I realize that finding one's "soul mate" is rather rare; such a blessing ... I hope those lucky enough to be in that possition truly appreciate it O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydveraz 0 #20 August 30, 2010 The Statistics say it all. Been there, done that. Won't do that again. Follow the numbers!http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate Arizona only has two seasons, Hot and HOTTER! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #21 August 30, 2010 Quote The Statistics say it all. Been there, done that. Won't do that again. Follow the numbers!http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate So how do divorce rates link in with the topic of this post???"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydived19006 4 #22 August 30, 2010 How about if the woman, attractive or not is not passive in the choosing? As in she'd not just waiting around for "Mr. Right" to find her and make the initial contact. What if the woman took the initiative, when she gets to know a guy who she thinks may be comparable she then initiates? At this point if the chick is "hot" she will have a greater chance of her advance being accepted. She chooses your own destiny. If she's 100 lbs over weight, and less than attractive her options are going to be more limited. It goes both ways. Ugly guys have to work a whole lot harder, or lower their expectations. The hot guys have cute girls asking around "Does he have a girl friend?" I had one this weekend ask about one of the TIs. You just don't seem to get girls asking into the "average looking" guys.Experience is what you get when you thought you were going to get something else. AC DZ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydveraz 0 #23 August 30, 2010 Quote Quote The Statistics say it all. Been there, done that. Won't do that again. Follow the numbers!http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate So how do divorce rates link in with the topic of this post??? The end result explains where a relationship might end up. Look at the info the link has. It explains everything. In my case, I'm not interested no matter what she looks like. Arizona only has two seasons, Hot and HOTTER! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #24 August 30, 2010 Women don't find Mr. Right. They take some guy and turn him into Mr. Right. I know women won't admit it, but they view every guy as a "fixer-upper."Valinda was a tremendously good influence on me. I used to be very poor husband material. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #25 August 30, 2010 My uncle used to say that women marry a man and expect him to change - they're disappointed when he doesn't... Men marry a woman and hope she never changes - they're disappointed when she turns out to be completely different!! I guess lucky women find a man willing to be "fixed" and lucky men find a gal who stays exactly the same! I like to think that one day I'll be in a loving relationship where we encourage/enable each-other to grow - to me, that's the ideal."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
