unacceptable humor?

[akarunway 1]

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling
my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume
she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going
fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I
should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking
behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not
listening".

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the
worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes
back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I
lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have
curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa !!!

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing
commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct
answer either.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but
I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new
bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they
drive slowly past schools.

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He
said "Her brother's got a mustache."

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on
Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next
thing I know 4,000 f....g Muslims have added me as a friend!!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I
said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in
my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular
people-porn, you sick bastard.

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help
towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we would love to, but our
garden hose only reaches the driveway.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[shropshire 0]

Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[Arvoitus 1]

Can't go wrong with these : http://dead-baby-joke.com

Your rights end where my feelings begin.

[DougH 270]

Quote

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I
lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have
curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa !!!

"The restraining order says you're only allowed to touch me in freefall"
=P

[Krip 2]

If they can't take a joke

Frack em

R

[Marinus 0]

Unfortunately few things are as hard to translate as jokes, but this one might work:

Bungee jumping is lot like having your *beep* *beeped* by your mother-in-law. It feels great and it's a lot less scary if you don't look down.

[jrmrangers 0]

even with the beeps thats funny!!

Wait , I pull what first?

[masterrig 1]

What's so un-acceptable about it? Henny Youngman and others made a living with humor like that!

DOWN WITH POLITICALLY CORRECT!!!


Chuck

[Meso 38]

Quote

DOWN WITH POLITICALLY CORRECT!!!

Amen.

[Marinus 0]

Quote

DOWN WITH POLITICALLY CORRECT!!!

YES.

A couple of weeks ago someone told me a joke about sending kids with ADHD to concentration camps. It wasn't the most tasteless joke I ever heard, but it was certainly one of the more tasteless jokes I heard in a long time.

I laughed.

[masterrig 1]

Quote

Quote

DOWN WITH POLITICALLY CORRECT!!!

YES.

A couple of weeks ago someone told me a joke about sending kids with ADHD to concentration camps. It wasn't the most tasteless joke I ever heard, but it was certainly one of the more tasteless jokes I heard in a long time.

I laughed.

Speaking of 'tasteless'...

I heard this when I was just a kid.

The little league team was gathered at their dugout before the first game of the season.
Little Billy tells the coach that Jimmy wants to play!
The coach quietly tells Billy that little Jimmy can't play... he has no arms or legs.
Little Billy tells the coach... "He can be first base!"


Chuck

[Marinus 0]

Quote

The little league team was gathered at their dugout before the first game of the season.
Little Billy tells the coach that Jimmy wants to play!
The coach quietly tells Billy that little Jimmy can't play... he has no arms or legs.
Little Billy tells the coach... "He can be first base!"

But... but... that's just so.... wrong










Someone, I don't remember who, but I think it was a comic, said something along the lines of: "If it doesn't hurt, it isn't funny"

I don't know if that's true but I know that (as a rule of thumb) I laugh harder when the joke is more offensive. I don't remember me ever laughing over a joke that was PC. PC and humour certainly bite each other

But nowadays everyone seems to want the right to not be offended. Never minding the fact that's often them that choose to be offended themselves.

[shropshire 0]

Apple were to bring out a new i-Touch just for the younger audience but stopped market because of the name .....


i-Touch k..s

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[masterrig 1]

Quote

Quote

The little league team was gathered at their dugout before the first game of the season.
Little Billy tells the coach that Jimmy wants to play!
The coach quietly tells Billy that little Jimmy can't play... he has no arms or legs.
Little Billy tells the coach... "He can be first base!"

But... but... that's just so.... wrong










Someone, I don't remember who, but I think it was a comic, said something along the lines of: "If it doesn't hurt, it isn't funny"

I don't know if that's true but I know that (as a rule of thumb) I laugh harder when the joke is more offensive. I don't remember me ever laughing over a joke that was PC. PC and humour certainly bite each other

But nowadays everyone seems to want the right to not be offended. Never minding the fact that's often them that choose to be offended themselves.

Yes,it's very wrong and totally un-acceptable in today's up-tight, politically correct society. In the 1950's, when I heard this and other similar jokes, that was humor, among kids. I can recall 'gross-out' humor and really sick humor but, there was something about it that drew a chuckle. Today, with all the political correctness going around, a very up-tight society has evolved. People 'demand' respect when they fail to 'earn' respect. With me, if you haven't earned respect, you can demand it all day long and you're not going to get it.
My favorite line from the t.v. series M.A.S.H was from the psychiatrist on the show, when he said; "Sometimes, you just have to drop your pants and slide on the ice!"


Chuck

[Skyrad 0]

Ewwwww... I feel queazy

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

[Marinus 0]

Quote

Apple were to bring out a new i-Touch just for the younger audience but stopped market because of the name .....


i-Touch k..s

NOOOOO!!! not the children!

[david3 0]

http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=30220

[Fearjoburg 0]

How do you know if a mechanic has a good sex life?

When he wakes up in the morning he will have at least one clean finger