riddler 0 #26 February 6, 2012 There was this one girl that kept going WAY out of her way to compare me to her ex, even though I'm really not like him (I know him). To the point that she kinda started making stuff up about me, just to compare me to him. I'm still confused about that. Was she still obsessed with him? Did she think all men are the same (as him)? Was she trying to get me riled up just to contradict her and prove that I'm not the same? Was I even there? (actually, I wonder that a lot in the rest of my life, too).Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #27 February 6, 2012 QuoteGood, safe first date topics... --hobbies --pets --books you've enjoyed --foreign travel --vacations in general --what you'd do if you won the lottery You've pretty much summed up my repartoire... But I should triage better to start with... To be fair, some of those nutters were at least a little bit entertaining!!!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #28 February 6, 2012 Quote There was this one girl that kept going WAY out of her way to compare me to her ex, even though I'm really not like him (I know him). To the point that she kinda started making stuff up about me, just to compare me to him. I'm still confused about that. Was she still obsessed with him? Did she think all men are the same (as him)? Was she trying to get me riled up just to contradict her and prove that I'm not the same? Was I even there? (actually, I wonder that a lot in the rest of my life, too). Wait a minute here.... It sounds like you didn't give her an opportunity to compare sex-on-the-kitchen-table techniques. You blew it. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
femTo 0 #29 February 6, 2012 just to prove what my bad topic is: there is actually 1 peugeot that doesn't look that bad http://www.newcarsinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Peugeot-RCZ-Black-Asphalt.jpg Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #30 February 6, 2012 Quote Quote And my fancy Peugeot. He bragged about driving a Peugeot??? I said they were bad topics... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #31 February 6, 2012 You posers....please stand back..... Me "Hi I am Shah." Her "You are Shah?" Me "Yes" Her "The Shah?" Me "The one the only often imitated never replicated." Her "I thought you were some sort of mythical creature that the ladies lusted after in the ladies forum." Me "Well, please don't make me blush." Her "You are more handsome in person." Me "Well I don't mean to brag." But if you ask me...had it happen on many first dates. Her "So that's your car, and you have this awesome sounding job and your condo sounds like it's in a nice quiet part of town." Me "yeah it's ok" (believe it or not I'm not a pompous ass) Her "So you want to have kids?" Me "Hell no!" Her---right about now she turns about 12 shades of red and explodes. That was not a fun one..but has happend about 5 times in 2 years. Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piisfish 135 #32 February 6, 2012 Quote Her "So you want to have kids?" Me "Hell no!" "Can you make kids in your mouth ? " Her---right about now she turns about 12 shades of red and explodes. That was not a fun one..but has happend about 5 times in 2 years. you should try with my version.... scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #33 February 6, 2012 HA! I have! Girl (27-37) "So you have a job and are educated and drive a nice car and have a nice place....so do you ever think of having kids?" Shah "Well...for what like slave labor? Yeah but then I would have to feed them that's why I have a roomba." Another one.... Me "So....that photo on your profile...what was that like 5 years ago or 30lbs ago?"Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TriGirl 268 #34 February 6, 2012 Unfortunately, many of these turn out to be second-date killers, too: QuoteGood, safe first date topics... --hobbies -- definitely a no-go, if he's a whuffo! --pets -- this can be a good one --books you've enjoyed -- possibly, but if he is not well-read, can be a disaster for an educated girl --foreign travel -- usually another bad topic, as my foreign travel is extensive, and highlights what I do fo a living (tends to intimidate most guys) --vacations in general -- usually only if he has traveled to some cool places -- however, my vacation list tends to resemble my foreign travel list --what you'd do if you won the lottery --okay, this is a good one See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus Shut Up & Jump! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Southern_Man 0 #35 February 6, 2012 QuoteUnfortunately, many of these turn out to be second-date killers, too: QuoteGood, safe first date topics... --hobbies -- definitely a no-go, if he's a whuffo! --pets -- this can be a good one --books you've enjoyed -- possibly, but if he is not well-read, can be a disaster for an educated girl --foreign travel -- usually another bad topic, as my foreign travel is extensive, and highlights what I do fo a living (tends to intimidate most guys) --vacations in general -- usually only if he has traveled to some cool places -- however, my vacation list tends to resemble my foreign travel list --what you'd do if you won the lottery --okay, this is a good one If you have a basic incompatibility problem with a guy (like if he is not well read and that is important to you, or he is intimidated by your cool hobbies) then it is best to find that out on the first date. If a girl brings up how important going to church is on the first date, well, that probably kills the second date but that is OK as it saves me time. I will still try to have a good time but I know this person is not compatible with me long term."What if there were no hypothetical questions?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #36 February 6, 2012 Look I know I'm odd....but am I just one of a few guys who are turned on by girls who make darn good money, have a wide view of the world, are well read and have travelled around and are active? OK YES she has to be good looking but....really? I was dating this one girl Kristen in NYC, had two masters made more money than I and had spend a year travelling the world. We got along splendidly sadly we broke up because she lived in Brooklyn and I in NJ thus getting together was "work". I'm sorry ladies I say if you are well travelled, well read and adventurist to please speak your minds on these topics on the first date and if the guy lacks the balls then tough titties for him! Now here is one I screw up on all the time.... "Yes I love dogs but I have to adopted cats..." Amazing how many of you girls are freaked out by that!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
femTo 0 #37 February 6, 2012 i don't get that either somehow its very important for same people if you are a dog or cat person... people = male and female. i like dog very much, but my lifestyle is more adapted to a cat i don't have the time, but then again i would still like to have an animal around me... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #38 February 6, 2012 QuoteIf you have a basic incompatibility problem with a guy (like if he is not well read and that is important to you, or he is intimidated by your cool hobbies) then it is best to find that out on the first date. If a girl brings up how important going to church is on the first date, well, that probably kills the second date but that is OK as it saves me time. I will still try to have a good time but I know this person is not compatible with me long term. YEP - totally agree. I have a match.com profile and one of the first things I state on it is that I'd rather cut to the chase and meet someone over coffee than chat for 6 months before realising the guy's a total twat... So maybe I've wasted 2 hours on the dates above (including travel), but at least it wasn't 2 weeks or 2 months!!! That said, I could probably find a bit of a compromise before going straight to meeting someone... There *are* some crazies out there!!!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #39 February 6, 2012 BINGO! Give the girl her prize of a designer thong and panties! I can't tell you how many times after the third email I've told the girl...yeah this is fun but let's just meet for coffee and see who you and I really are. And a very good number of the girls give excuses....which at that point I say thank you but no thank you. A girl I met online once explained online dating as going to the dive bars of dive bars where people who have next to no social skills are left to rot. And I have to agree with her when it comes to meeting people by chance and meeting people online I would rather meet people by chance...they are more normal than odd! One girl said she didn't believe in viruses. Another did not believe in evolution.... Another thought skydiving was for the clinically nutty....hi I have a skydiving photo in my profile. Another I kid you not....would break into hard core gangster rap in the middle of the conversation........for a WASPY that was odd.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #40 February 6, 2012 QuoteYEP - totally agree. I have a match.com profile and one of the first things I state on it is that I'd rather cut to the chase and meet someone over coffee than chat for 6 months before realising the guy's a total twat... I knew DFWAJG for years on here before we met. I chatted with her for months before we met. I talked to her on the phone for weeks before we met. As a result, we got to know each other in great depth. We were pretty comfortable with each other the first time we met (though I was nervous as all hell because, damn, she was way too gorgeous for a geek like me.) There’s something about falling in love with a person from the inside out that was incredible. I fell in love with a person that I’d never been in the same room with because the sexiest part of her was what was between her ears. No pretense. None of the bullshit that goes with the whole dating scene. Merely an acquaintance who turned into a dear friend and became everything. In hindsight I think that cutting to the chase encourages a high degree superficiality. It’s all the bullshit I hated about dating. Some of us don’t want a “date.” Just someone to talk with. If something more comes of it, great! But meeting up in person sets expectations, which you’ve pointed out people often don’t live up to. It sounds like your first dates are more like interviews. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Southern_Man 0 #41 February 6, 2012 Quote So maybe I've wasted 2 hours on the dates above (including travel), but at least it wasn't 2 weeks or 2 months!!! I'd also point out that on your original list most aren't really discussion topics at all but mostly signs that the person has emotional issues and they are not ready to be dating. Honestly I've discussed my ex-wife and ex-girlfriends on first dates and it has been fine. I answer the question, provide a few details in an appropriate fashion, and move on to another conversation topic."What if there were no hypothetical questions?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aarco 0 #42 February 6, 2012 I forgot my wallet you pay I forgot my pures you pay lets talk about that dress lets talk about that slant in your head lets not talk at all thats a cool watch how much did it cost you teach skydiving - but why are so broke?:) Having something never beats doing (>|<) Iam building things - Iam working on my mind- I am going to change this world - its what I came here 4- - - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #43 February 6, 2012 Bad approach d00d! Hey maybe this will Help you! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,623 #44 February 6, 2012 Ask what kind of phone they have. www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2399714,00.asp ... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #45 February 6, 2012 Quote It sounds like your first dates are more like interviews. Fuck, I certainly hope not!!! One guy said simply: "want to go for a ride on my motorcycle?" That intreagued me. So I said "when?" and he sent his phone number... We went kite-surfing that day and it was awesome! It's like 3 years later and we're still good friends. Coffee is a "safe" option where you're encouraged to chat... There is little expectation you will go off to bed with someone at 3 in the afternoon somehow... And without any alcohool, there is less chance you will babble mindless nonsense as well. But certainly, bonus points if the guy is up for something more fun - like diving or hiking or anything really that isn't boring..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,053 #46 February 6, 2012 Quote (believe it or not I'm not a pompous ass) Oh... never mind.Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #47 February 6, 2012 Quote Coffee is a "safe" option where you're encouraged to chat... There is little expectation you will go off to bed with someone at 3 in the afternoon somehow I understand that, but there are still expectations. “Encouraged to chat” is one thing, but look at what people talk about. You have certain expectations of WHAT they will talk about, and those that chat about other topics are bad “dates.” Or expectations that they will talk. You’re having an expectation of what they won’t talk about and that becomes difficult. What is off-limits? Ex girlfriends? Ex wives? Sexual histories? How does one know this? I guess I feel worst for the guy who was shy. I’ve been that guy and I identify with him. For some of us, it’s just difficult to feel comfortable around new people. And if he only said three words, it doesn’t sound like he was asked many questions. That’s the thing. Of course a coffee date is different from a night date. But there are still expectations. Jumping right in can have some benefits. But there’s also a balance in figuring out what this person is like beforehand so you have an idea of what to talk about. What intrigues you about him or him about you? Tough stuff to figure out over coffee. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dzdiva 7 #48 February 6, 2012 Quote Quote (believe it or not I'm not a pompous ass) Oh... never mind. "It's not just a daydream if you choose to make it your life..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #49 February 6, 2012 Quote what I do fo a living (tends to intimidate most guys) You blew the intimidation factor out the door with the 3-point hug. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #50 February 6, 2012 A date with you sounds more like going to an employment interview. Whatever happened to just enjoy the moment without the evaluations? Save the evaluations for when you get home.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
