phatcat

Yep, that’s definitely hers! Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

If that’s what you want to do, then GO FOR IT! I wanted to pursue an aviation career, but then I went and jumped out of a plane and it became a question of fly planes or jump out of them. Since I was short on cash I picked the latter, but if you’ve got the money and the desire, then why wouldn’t you do it? I only got as far as Private, SEL, and it’s been a few years, but I’d love to do it again. Oh, wait, you said it would interfere with jumping? Hmmmm, you’re on your own dude. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

As one more observation, my own ass seems abnormally hairy right now. Will somebody please tell me I’m not alone? Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Just as a side note, as I’m looking, I’m listening to Buckcherry’s “Time Bomb” where he says “life ain’t nothing but bitches and money” and it sound like “peaches and money”. Just had to snicker. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

5th down, 9th from left? Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Question for people with more reefer experience then I do. I only did it once when I was like 18 or 19. This guy rolled it up for me and it was the hugest joint I had ever seen. He told me to suck it in as deep as I could so I did, and we sucked the whole thing down in a couple of minutes. I said I didn’t feel anything and he just laughed and said that I would. He left right away and turned to go up the stairs at my house and I made it about half way up and WHAM! Instant stoner. I spent the next 15 min. or so just walking around the house aimlessly laughing my ass off for no reason. I loved it! All of the sudden my throat felt weird and my breathing sounded odd, and I was shocked (that’s an understatement) when I realized my throat was closing. I just about shit myself and spent the next several hours sitting in a chair with my head back praying to god to let me live. It got the the point where it was like breathing through a small straw and I almost called 911 but I was scared about getting caught. I thought for sure my parents would come home and find me dead in that chair. Well obviously I’m not but I’m wondering what the hell happened? It’s been suggested that it was an allergic reaction, or it was laced with something (I forget what). Anybody have any idea? Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Where ya been Kel? Oh yeah, jumping, of course . If you haven’t read it yet, I’m jumping again pretty soon. Thanks for the kick in the ass when I really needed it. I have the money, so it’s just the fear thing standing in my way now. But I think when I get there, it will be just like the Nike cliché – Just Do it. It can’t go any other way, cause that would be unthinkable. Thanks Kel. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

I didn't get nothin but some stupid .gif that says "Sickdeath Army". What am I missing? Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Well, since most of you weren’t here when I posted this, I’ll post it again, because it was a beautiful day today and I spent it NOT jumping and I’m bored and desperate for attention. BTW, Dirtsucks was my old nick when I was a pathetic drunk, I changed it when I became a plain old drunk. I don’t wish to insult anybody, unless you’re a whuffo, but my opinion on homo sports still stands. ----------------------------- WELCOME TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF “DIRTSUCKS - DRUNKEN, WANNABE SKYDIVER.” THIS WEEKS TOPIC, TRADITIONAL SPORTS, AND WHAT THEY MEAN TO YOU. I have a totally boring ass job which gives me a lot of time to think about things like skydiving, life, and idiots, not necessarily in that order. Now, at my boring ass job today, somehow the subject of sports came up in the conversation between the increasingly numerous voices in my head. Okay, in the world we live in, the most recognized, top paid individuals in this world have reached this god-like status by using their most valuable talent/asset – they can bounce, throw, or hit a ball really, really good. Anything wrong with that? That’s all. I must get back to drinking now. Um, I guess you can either reply to this post or let it return to infernal abyss from which it came. In another hour I’ll be unconscious and wont care either way. Your most obviously demented friend, Josh ----------------------------- There it was. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

No shit. I am getting help from a professional in a couple of weeks, from a JM ! Altitude deprivation ROYALY fucks you up and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy (I just kill my enemies, no big deal). As for non-jumping issues, that’s a totally different story. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

They got a lot of hotties in the Mall of America Hooters here in MN. It’s really a sight for sore eyes in the middle of a long winter when you don’t get to see skimpy clothes for months at a time in public (or even in private in my case ) I love the shorts. This may be blasphemy here but I’m more into the ass than the boobies myself. I just love the curvy types, ya know the kind where you run your hands down the waist and then as you go down farther your hands go farther apart down the shape of her body and you know it’s ass time and you just reach around and grab like there’s no tomorrow. I’m suddenly feeling lonely right now. And the new lotion I bought sucks, so I guess I’ll just drink more beer. Why the fuck do I have to wait so long to jump again? (Sept. 8 baby!! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I’m so retarded Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Oh, here they are! (o)(o) Perfect breasts (+)(+) Fake silicone breasts ( * )( * ) Perky breasts (@)(@) Big nipple breasts oo A cups {O}{O} D cups (oYo) Wonder bra breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) Cold breasts (o)(O) Lopsided breasts (Q)(O) Pierced breasts (p)(p) Hanging tassels breasts \o/\o/ Grandma’s breasts ( - )( - ) Against the shower door breasts o | | o | Android breasts ( $ )( $ ) Martha Stewart’s breasts Actually, now that I see it again, I don’t get most of ‘em... Maybe I'm just retarded. "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Goddamnit!! Where’s the Boobiecons??? I just saw them, somewhere, just last night. I thought I would be cool too and post them here but I can’t freakin find them!!! I just don’t remember where on this stupid internet it was. "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

MAN SHOW! MAN SHOW!!! No, really. The Man Show (and South Park) are the only reasons I miss cable. I miss the trampolines, I miss the juggies. I gave up the expense of cable for a little extra cash to jump again (funny, they haven’t asked for their cable box back yet, and it’s been five months. I wonder what I can get for it ) But hell, it’s the MAN SHOW!! In this era of political correctness, it is one of the last remaining sanctuaries for the few true men left and you deserve to be a part of it. Josh P.S. I want Juggy pics "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Aaahhh, Ramen Noodles. A skydivers best friend. But thanks to Mr. Bush, I’m eating in style now. I’m talking mac & cheese. No, not the generic stuff, but the “real deal” – Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Yes, I’m moving up in the world, but I promise I won’t let it go to my head. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

It’s not working! I’ve pissed all over the wall twice. What am I doing wrong? Screw it, I’m going back to the old way of just stopping when I’m done. "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Didn’t somebody post this before? Last time I got three. This time I got three again. God I’m a dumbass. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Dude – it WAS a pick up line! Too subtle? Heee hee, sorry, I was just being a drunk smartass. I don’t really want to get in your pants. Or do I? Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Wow, I’ve never seen a guy with that kind of flexibility. Viking, wanna get a beer sometime? We could talk and stuff… Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

“Heroin Girl” is the title, and the song is really fuckin cool if you ask me (or even if ya don’t ) Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

You guys are too overdramatic. I just leave whenever the hell I want. Nobody’s noticed yet. I can go home, have a beer or four, take a nap, and when I come back, nobody even notices I’ve been gone (I’ve done it ) Stupid bosses, I love them! Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Are you freakin serious? If you’re gonna drink the cheap shit, at least go for the Bud Ice. Come on!! Icehouse, thats just NASTY! Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Last Christmas I got a VCR. It caused great emotional distress from watching my skydiving videos over and over again and wishing I was doing that! Bah freakin humbug!!! (j/k, thanks!) Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Cheap ass beer – I’m such a poor wannabe skydiver…*sob* Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Yeah, that’s the whole point! When the dogs shits, you pull! "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller