beezyshaw

Three black ladies were preparing for their first plane flight. The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gonna wear me some hot pink panties on dis flight." "Why you gonna wear dat?" the other two asked The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dere laying butt-up in a corn field, dey gonna find me first." The second lady says, "Well, I'm gonna wear me some fluorescent orange panties." "Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked The second lady answered: "Cause if dat plane goes down and I'm a floating butt-up in the ocean, dey can see me first." The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not going to wear any panties at all." "What, no panties?!" the others said in disbelief. "Dat's right," says the third lady. "I'm not wearing any panties, cause if dat plane goes down, the first thing they always looks for is da black box."

No WFFC for this year; first time in about 12 or 13 years I haven't been; too many irons in the fire to drop everytihing and go. Yea, Chris please put your clothes back on

And I'm outside with my lawn mower taken apart in 95 degree heat...what's wrong with this picture? Screw the lawn and the mower, I'm taking my boat out on the lake! Thanks everyone for the b-day wishes. And for those that think I'm an old fart, you're right; today is 08/05/05 and I've been around since 08/05/50!

Or maybe they're trying to tell that to "someone we know" down here!

Yep, Chris Martin's trusty 182, N5542B, has changed hands. I'm so glad to have helped Kristi get the plane in the good hands of my friend Marc Hogue. He took delivery of 42B today in Nashville, then jumped in and took his new bird to Rantoul. I'm glad to see Chris' Cessna stay sort of "in the family"; I can't even begin to convey how many stories that airplane could tell if she only could!

Well, folks, looks like the plot thickens... It has just come to my attention that the theft/hijacking of the toll-free number at Tennessee Skydiving Center isn't the first drop zone this has happened to. Over two years ago, another dz's toll-free number was mysteriously re-directed to ASC in Cedartown (or Skyride's call center, I'm not certain of the particulars). The dzo began wondering what had happened to all his tandem bookings, business had dropped off sharply, then one of the up jumpers from the dz called the toll-free number and... The voice on the other end answered "Skydive Center". I think I've heard THAT phone greeting before! So for several weeks, ASC / Skyride enjoyed the benefit of booking and credit card charges for many many tandems that were intended for, marketed, and recruited by a legitimate drop zone.

I have a T-Bow manual. I could scan and email it to you for a nominal fee, but I'll include one free with the purchase of a Nitro or Blade canopy.

News Flash... I just got off the phone with someone who was at the Tullahoma airport this past Saturday. A group of 6 people came to the airport to make their tandem skydives, which they had made a reservation for and given credit cards to the telephone operator at "Tennessee Skydiving Center". They were puzzled to say the least when they were told that the dz hasn't re-opened yet. "Puzzled" is going to quickly turn into "pissed off" when these people get their credit card statements in a few weeks. Guess who's going to be smack-dab in the middle of the loop with this? Yep, yours truly. So it seems in trying to re-open TN Skydiving Center I've somehow gone from "not involved" to something other than that, let's just say.

Well, I just got off the phone and there's yet one more very pissed off tandem jumper in the world. Here's what happened to this guy... Prior to the weekend of the fund raising boogie in Tullahoma a few weeks ago, a guy called TN Skydiving Center's toll-free number (which as we found out that weekend had been hijacked to ASC/Skyride). He made a reservation to make a tandem skydive at TN Skydiving Center for Sunday, June 14. Already knowing that dz is in Tullahoma, TN, he shows up and I personally took him on a tandem skydive. He paid cash for his jump, assuming that when he had given his credit card number when he made his reservation that the purpose was only to secure his slot. Just today he got his credit card bill, and guess what? He has a charge of $150 from "Adventure Skydiving Center" ! Gee, surprise, surprise. So he calls back on the toll free number (which now is routed back to Tullahoma of course) and when it is explained to him that we never take credit cards for tandem reservations, he's getting really pissed off because he knows that the same phone number he called the first time is the number he just called. Well, you get the picture. Thanks Ben, Cary, for being such honest, upstanding business people. Edited to add: So, if ASC is not part of the deceptive business practices, and Skyride is the only guilty party, then how can it be explained that the credit card charge is from "Adventure Skydiving Center?

This is my first post in this long, long thread. All I have to say to dbattman's post is... Amen.

C'mon, of course they're not real. Why do you think they call it a "mechanical bull"?

Excuuuuuuuse Me! Ok, here's another one... 3 Wishes A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your?wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful?Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Just walk away. Male readers: Please scroll down. The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!! Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show. PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which went almost unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at age 93. The most tragic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. Then the trouble started.

Actually, with a Precision reserve, you are allowed to put ONE jump on the canopy as a main for testing/evaluation purposes.

The line specs you have include measuring the connector link; why Klaus included the link in these trim specs is unclear, but from what you say the canopy is in perfect trim. As has been pointed out before, the Technora lines on your Nitro will not shrink like spectra does. Your lineset is made from the most dimensionally stable fiber ever used in parachute lines. If you have any more questions about your Nitro or its lines please feel free to contact me by PM or email.

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate. Read the full description before looking at the picture. The picture has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. If there are many differences found between both dolphins, it means that the person is experiencing a great amount of stress. Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.

Mr. Walton was obviously a good man and generous with his ability to help others. Out of curiosity, I'd like to know a little bit more about his skydiving...how many jumps he made, how long he had been a skydiver, where his home dz was, things like that. Anybody that knew him care to reply?

Here's one about being on welfare... A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur / bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year". The guy says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."

Joe is teeing off from the Back Tees. On his downswing he realizes that his wife Mary is teeing up on the Red Tees directly in his way. Unable to stop his swing he nails it and hits her directly in the temple and kills her instantly. A few days later Joe gets a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy. Coroner: "Joe, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is that correct?" Joe: "Yes sir, that's correct" Coroner: "Joe, I also found a golf ball wedged up her ass" Joe: "Was it a Titleist 3 ?" Coroner: "Yes, It was" Joe: "That must have been my mulligan" A Truly Heartwarming Story Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next-door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the firs! t week they even presented her with a 'pay' envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us." My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?" The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the f*#king sheet rock." Kind of brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?

As I have no experience in building cascaded linesets with Technora (HMA), this is pure speculation. But my hunch is that the insertion point at the cascade gets "reamed out" because the B line and D lines pull outward from the A and C lines. On a continuous lineset, the direction of pull of any finger trapped line is parallel to the line itself.

There are currently several braids of HMA being used for lines, and several tensile strengths. I think PD is having the HMA they use done in the USA, and what we use us made in Germany. We use a combination of two HMA line types on our canopies, 160 kg and 200 kg. If you were to line a canopy using only 200, the lineset would last many times longer than the 160 does, but of course it is bigger. Maybe if you were to build a cascaded lineset from 200 (or about 450 lbs) it would go about 300 jumps, that sounds reasonable. And the PD team I'm sure is using 160 (about 350 lbs) and that's why they get only the number of jumps they do. There are also different braids, typically 12-carrier and 16-carrier, which will also affect longevity. I don't know who is using what (other than what we use), so I won't speculate on that.

Actually, Ian, that isn't true. The reason that the HMA only lasts a few jumps on the PD team canopies is because they are making cascaded linesets with HMA, and the wear points are the cascades. When you use the same small HMA and build continuous lines they last as long as any other lineset. For example, the Nitro uses 160 kg HMA and I see a thousand jumps between lineset changes all the time.

That's great! I hadn't made the connection. I certainly use the little superman pic just as a goof, but maybe that really IS how men see themselves.

Want to know the difference between "us" and "them"?

I wanted to give a public note of thanks to Mike Mullins and his family and staff for a really great weekend. I know I had a most excellent time! It was awesome seeing lots of old faces from TN Skydiving Ctr. and jumping once again onto the best airport in the state for skydiving. I got lots of words of encouragement about the re-opening of TSC and everbody is eager to get back to Tullahoma. The primary reason for the boogie, of course, was to raise some money to help Chris' family. Kristi is overwhelmed to say the least. Mike, I can't thank you enough for your generosity. And Joel, you are the bomb! We had a very successful raffle and of course I want to thank all those that donated prizes. So, a BIG thank you to Aerodyne, Appalachian Amusement, Bev Suits, Carbone and Flare Wear, HiPerUSA, Precision, PD, Relative Workshop, SSK, Sunpath, Sunrise Mfr, and West TN Skydiving. Thanks also go to all you skydivers who came to jump. We flew 24 KingAir loads on Saturday and I think about 12 or so on Sunday. Being Father's day of course made for a thinner crowd, but I had a great time with my little rug rat at the dz! We have lots to do yet to get the dz re-opened, but we're going full speed ahead towards getting everything done asap. Coutless people have offered to help in many important ways, and for that I am truely grateful. So I hope you weren't bs'ing, because I'll be calling you! OK, I'll shut up now, but I just really want everybody involved to know how much this event meant to Kristi and Haley Martin.