J-S

I don't worry about checking in when with a group jump, but when I do solos and especially solos at a new dz (getting a feel before trying to find someone to jump with), I ask another jumper on the load to make sure to see me on the ground. Make a point to find them and ask how their jump went or something as a check in. If a DZO wants or has a check in system, great, all the better. But it's still my responsibility 100% to lookout for myself and others firstly. I'd use a DZOs check in as a back up, people on the jump run can figure out something's wrong faster. Edit: Its simple to police yourself and be responsible.

It was just a matter of time before something like this happened. We should ban eagles.

I was camping in the national forest, bushwhacked to set up my site. Thought I was alone in the area, some jerk off at about 2:30 am decides to shoot 4 rounds (I guess in a random direction, probably didn't know I was there), I heard two bullets hit up high in the trees above me. I immediately shot 2 rounds into a hill right next to me to alert them someone's up there. No more shots fired and my ears were ringing for the rest of the night. When I lived in Florida, some guy (later found out high on PCP) broke into our neighbors place. Broke the glass front door with his arms, trashed the place screaming and yelling, moved on to the next apartment and did the same thing. Told my girlfriend at the time to call 911 and I grabbed my pistol and watched to see what he was going to do next. I mostly knew my neighbors weren't home at the time, early in the night no light on, so I didn't feel the need to intervene there unless I heard them (my neighbors yelling for help or something). He smashed into my next store neighbors place next (my apartment was next after that). Told my girlfriend to get under the bed and lock the door, do not come out until I say to. I stood there with my gun pointed at my door ready to fire. The police showed up as he was in my next store neighbors apartment. I'm glad no one got hurt (the perp had slashed up arms and blood everywhere outside) and that I didn't have to use lethal force to protect myself. I'm also glad and find comfort that I have the right to own a firearm and be able to protect myself when the law can't.

2 person tent Marmot synthetic sleeping bag MSR backpacking stove, ti pot and spork, food Good beer to share with the other bums Thrunight Scorpion torch Surefire Minimus headlamp for reading Rig for a pillow

Aero Body Flight Euro Aero Body Flight Euro Trash Aero Body Flight

Saw this on some news show the other day. The reporter stated they were bringing attention/awareness to the violence at sports games, anti violence protesters I guess. The stadium didn't stage the event (the jumpers or the people on the field with the sign they high fived).

I'm glad skydiving gave you a new outlook and respect for life. Always keep it in your mind though, YOU saved your life, by seeking the help you needed. Skydiving, medications, therapy, friends/family are the tools and support YOU and yourself sought. You prove everyday, and have proved you are more powerful than your mind. As you said, always remember your (our) falling brothers and sisters and what they gave to want to make a better life for you and everyone else. You owe it to yourself and to them to live life the best you can, I'm sure they would want nothing less for you. Always remember that you can give that to them and they deserve that. Keep your head up If you fall, use that strong mind of yours, and ask for that hand back up to where you are today. Enjoy all the blue skies ahead of you! Shawn.

Maybe something wrong with your spine? http://www.hartchiro.com/your_spine.html

So I'm following in my families footsteps of the line of firefighters. Father a firefighter, uncle a former hotshot/wildland firefighter/current fighter, and my grandfather was a firefighter. I grew up in a firehouse so I know what the job is about. I start my academy training and station volunteering in January when my girlfriend and I move back to Jersey from CA. My eventual goal is to train for the 6 weeks course in smoke jumping and give it a rookie go at it (yes, years of training before that point). My uncle will be a good mentor for training for wildland/hotshot fighting proir, before I apply for that. My question is, is there any DZs that can train with rounds (mainly for accuracy)? Ive been getting into physical shape, the gym, scrambling up and down (bush whacking) with 65 lbs of gear on my back for hours at a time pushing myself farther and farther each time. Jogging up and down hills with that same gear for a few miles at a time, stair runs, ect. So, I wanted to start now practicing jumping rounds for accuracy (obviously not with all the gear jumping in). I just want to train physically, mentally with fire experience and mentoring for years before I get a chance to prove I can be the best of the best, or at least try to be a smoke jumper. Thanks for any replies or contacts! Shawn

No, not harsh. Thank you for your bluntness. So we decided not to add benefits. Everything is too fragile and emotional to us right now. I proposed not seeing each other for a while. Just communicate via text, stupid Facebook, ect. Until we can both calm down and collect our thoughts and work on ourselves for a bit. Were only going to see each other briefly once a week to trade animals and exchange our own specialty foods that we both make. Thanks for the replies people!

We both had on planned on taking a break in January at the end of our lease. My problems just pushed the date back a few months. Doing the whole live separate thing we agreed on a couple months back. And yes she is the reason I'm seeking help initially, she cares enough to let me know the hard way and still be there no matter what. But this is for me and my life, before i csn share mine with hers, if that happens. Can't do this anymore. I live in my own hell, which has been getting better and better the more I condition myself. Thanks for the response Twardo.

So my girlfriend and I are separating for now, because we're both not in love anymore. We do love each other like crazy, there's nothing we wouldn't do for each other. We were the love of each others life for the past 5 years. My anger problem hurt her, getting help for. Her debt keeps her working 7 days a week. No time together ruined it for me. We do love hanging out when we do. We're both emotionally fucked right now. Example, we went hiking yesterday in the redwoods, a place we hiked 4 years ago, and she pointed out where we said we would get married. We both got emotional. On the way home she had her iPod on shuffle and the Whitney Houston song came on, "I will always love you", we both started crying and turned it off. We heard that song together on our first date 20 years ago. (we dated when we were 14 and found each other again when we were 28). So ya, it's like that between us. She's moving in with a friend for now and we don't know what will happen to us. We do have love, just not in love right now. We live with each other for the next week before we separate. We agreed to have sex while friends (which means nothing to me except making sure shes satisfied because I do love her, because making love with her was the most precious thing to me, I'm sure her too). Making love has always been the best between us, like no other. My question, is this going to fuck things up for maybe (both uncertain as of now) being life partners in the future? Excuse me for sounding like a pansy guy, but this was never like any other relationship we both ever had before. It's really special to us, even as the best friends we were and still are. Any other relationship we both agreed, out with the ex onto the next kind of thing. I'll add, the sex is non-emotional right now, we're using it as a stress reliever, or to meet our sexual needs. I actually was going to treat my body like an amusement park yesterday and told her not to come in the bedroom, she asks if I wanted to have sex instead. We did, and plan on it today again. Don't know if I should, or we should.

Thanks again for all your responses! Today was my second session with my therapist. Going twice a week for now, then once a week when I feel comfortable with that. Together we discovered some traumatic things I was exposed to as a child that make me the way I am. I never knew it affected me in such a destructive way my whole life. I'm starting to understand myself for once. There's so many avenues to the anger we yet have to work on, but I'm really feeling good about it Thanks too for all the PMs everyone! A book that was recommended "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle has changed my life forever. I now have a peace and calm inside of me, weirdest feeling ever. I read the book in two days, I couldn't put it down. It's genius. If it wasn't for my girlfriends unconditional love for me, putting up with my shit from my damaged brain and her overwhelming support, I would of never gotten to this point ever in my life. She saved me from myself. That's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me. Love that girl! I hope I get to have my bones buried next to hers one day, if I didn't fuck that up. Thanks again for all of your support, it really helped me.

I just wanted to thank everyone for giving a sincere shit about someone they don't even know. You people are awesome! Simply put. I can't wait to get back to the dropzone when I'm better than I am, and fear jumping more than I fear becomming friends with others instead of the other way around. Thanks again. It means a lot to me.

There are LOTS of us!! Untreated ADD/ADHD could be contributing to your current issues. At least mention the childhood diagnosis to whoever you talk to. Treatment options are available that don't include medication. I defiantly will. I have a session today with a therapist, she was able to get me in hearing my desperation for help.

Popping a pill is too easy. Yes it make you feel good, but its a bogus feeling. I want to know what happens inside the mentals of my mind. Like what Im holding onto inside that I cant let go. A pill can cover or hide that just fine, but hold me back from discovering it and kicking its ass. Thanks for the advice though!

Meds are something I will just refuse now because of how addicted my body gets to things too easily. The reason I never did hard drugs with my friends. I have a really addictive personality. I'm trying to keep my brain chemical free without smoking or drinking or putting anything bad in my body, even high sugar, fat, or salty foods, which I eat mostly healthy to start with. Healthy body, sick mind. That's me.

Actually, being able to focus on something we are interested in is a hallmark of ADD/ADHD. It's called hyperfocus. It's okay, I'm a psycho too. There's nothing wrong with having emotional or mental problems - no different than having physical ones, just less visible. I hope you can find someone who can help you work through things. Hang in there. Thanks skybytch for the response. I just looked up hyperfocus, I just discovered something about me. Makes me feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this. As of today I told my girlfriend we need to separate for a few months and live alone. Going to take a couple months off of work and just really focus on myself for once in my life. Something I wish I did a long time ago before I fucked things up with my love of my life. I don't need any stress's or frustrations right now. Which means I have to sell one of my rigs (bought a used one while waiting for my container to made a while ago) to make some ends meet. I hope my quality of life will be better for me first, then others.

Just curious, how much were you taking? I have somewhat different issues than you, but I have found therapy (individual and group) to be helpful in the past. Of course, it largely depends on finding the right therapist for you. I've also had a lot of help from various self-help books, and I've turned into a junkie for relaxation/visualization CDs. I hope you are able to find something that will help you to change.

Ya. It really discouraged me from trying someone else for help. I hope the next one works out. Thanks for the reply.

Thanks. I was On lorazepam for anxiety for a while, stopped taking it and went through a withdraw hell. Couldn't work or do anything for about 8 months. Curled up in bed for 3 months wishing I was dead. Couldn't eat, sleep, severe muscle spasms, the shits, mental confusion, couldn't even do 5+3 without getting confused. The world wizzed by while I was in slow motion. I will never take a pharmaceutical drug again. Not even aspirin.

I have a problem that has plagued me since a child, anger and frustration which leads me to destroy everything and hurt people. I didn't realize this was a big problem until recently when my girlfriend tells me how she feels about it. Sick of it to put it bluntly. She's embarrassed to go in public with me sometimes because I won't hesitate to start a fight with someone or tell someone to fuck off if they annoy me. It affects my relationship with her, you don't know how many times I've broken up with her for the stupidest of shit. It fucking kills me to hurt her (never physically, I would never lay a hand on any girl). She never knows what's going to set me off and I don't know either. The way I am is not fair to her. I've been like this since a kid. It's not my parents fault, we were taught to have respect for people, yes sir yes ma'am, please and thank you's. And to this day I'm like that. My brothers turned out fine. It's just some demon inside of me. I have anxiety problems and so the childhood psychologist says ADHD, which is bullshit cause if I'm interested in something I can focus, I'm just really hyper and high energy. I was always in trouble in school, elementary school through part of high school, to the point of being arrested and kicked out of school and kicked out for the rest of the year. Which I couldn't return to and had to finish at night school. All because I'm fucked in the head. I don't want to be like this anymore. I'm a really happy person but at the same time I'm not being like this. My girlfriend says I'm really sweet and outgoing, nice and all. It just when that switch flips, I loose it. I know I have some mental problem, Ive screamed and yelled in my sleep all my life, I punch while I'm sleeping, to the point where I can't sleep in the same bed as my girlfriend because I've punched her while sleeping and the yelling and screaming disturbs her sleep. As a kid it disturbed my family they made the basement my room. I still annoyed them from down there with my sleep yelling. Anyway, I don't want to be spontaneously angry anymore for my girlfriends sake and for my quality of life and others that are effected about it. I tend to try not to make many friends on my own merit because I don't want to get close to people, I don't want to hurt them. I haven't jumped in a while because of the bond between jumpers that I can feel myself getting close to. I mostly do outdoor things by myself so I don't have to get frustrated with people. It's strange, I love life and people and enjoy the experience, but sometimes my mind wants to be hostile towards it. So there it is, it took me some balls to admit and write this. This is where I am, to confront this problem head on. So far I change the music I listen to (thank you all for the classic rock suggestions), no more aggressive negative punk rock or metal. That music actually makes me feel good because it's something I can relate with, I don't want to relate with it anymore. I stopped smoking pot, stopped drinking, even though it's only a couple of beers at a time. Used to drink when I was younger a lot, it was a problem. And I'm trying a therapist and sticking with it this time. Tried it for three sessions and the lady was looking to a past life I might of had, said I was a warrior and fighter in my past. That's not the bullshit help I wanted so I gave up. I just wanted to know if any of you ever saw a therapist and if it worked? Does hypnosis work with therapy? Don't know what kind to see this time. I've contacted a few and hope to get a session this week. Please don't think I'm a psyco or anything, I'm really respectful of others and try to help others when I can. I just have some switch I can't control. I want to find out how to make that switch turn on something positive in my life or figure out the moment or situation that flicks it so i can keep it off in my mind. I can't hurt anyone anymore. Thanks for listening.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone! Lots of good stuff posted. I'm well on my way to being a classic rock junkie I can't believe I've ignored this music during my existence.

Stinkin' cute! Enjoy that puppy smell while it lasts!

...when you are having a dream about making love with your girlfriend in an intersection on the street and the first thing you think of when you wake is about how awesome it must feel to be Twardo doing demo jumps. Instant shrinkage True story.