Need some AFF encouragement

[SkyMadness 0]

Or maybe I need to be told it’s not for me…?

Hmmm, when I finished this I realized that it was rather long (so I felt I needed to add more ). I apologize for the long winded post…I guess I had to get it all out there.

After years of dreaming about skydiving and anticipating what it would be like, but always forcing myself to forget it because “its just too dangerous and I don’t want to die!”; I finally made the move and enrolled in an AFF course and made my first jump. I figured I would love it or maybe I would hate it, but either way I would have jumped and I would know.

The problem is, I jumped but I still don’t know and fear is starting to get the upper hand.

I say I still don’t know because I honestly don’t remember much about my jump. I remember my fear as the plane climbed to altitude and I remember my relief when I saw that I had a good canopy over my head. But my entire freefall is a blank. I know I was there because I have video to prove it, but I watch it in virtual disbelief thinking “did I really do that?!”

I can confidently describe my experience as simply COMPLETE SENSORY FREAKIN’ OVERLOAD!

Now here is the problem. I still want to jump, but I’m not sure I can or even should. It’s been three weeks since my jump and I try to go to the DZ each weekend, but I don’t. I watch my video hoping to give myself encouragement, but all I seem to do is freak myself out. I see myself let go of the plane and begin the freefall and my heart starts beating faster, my palm start to sweat, and I think “how can I do that again, I don’t know how I did it the first time!” Is this fear normal or am I simply not cut out for the sport?

I have done massive amounts of research on the internet. I’ve read all the statistics, read personal stories both good and bad, and read as much as I could about the fundamentals and equipment. I have spent several hours a day for nearly a month on Dropzone.com reading, and reading, and reading. I also spent a lot of time learning about and watching video of malfunctions, maybe too much time. My primary concern is that we all occasionally have bad days where nothing seems to go right. We all make stupid mistakes from time to time. But in skydiving a bad day or a stupid mistake could mean…

I’m not sure what I am asking for here. I don’t know what kind of help I expect to get. I guess I needed to write down what I feeling and hope that someone has felt the same way or knows the answer to a question I can’t think to ask. In any case, I am sorry if this post is unanswerable or out of line.


P.S. If it matters at all, I did do pretty well in passing level 1. I did my three PRCP’s unassisted, kept good altitude awareness, solo pulled at correct altitude, and a stand-up landing on target. My instructor said it was an excellent skydive. Why can’t I remember most of it?

[marks 0]

it is normall for a first jump student not to remember anything...

it was that way with me also... im now 6 years later. an aff instructor myself...

the fear your haveing now ..after the jump is also normal... but what i fand is if you want to overcome that.. and you put your efforts tawords overcoming that fear.. it will make you one of the more dedicated and eventually one of the more experianced jumpers... your hooked and you know it... so go out skydive and have a good time... make sure you dont get in a car accident on the way to the dz though.... cars are very very dangerous.... you could get killed driving one ./...."you know what i mean??""

[skybytch 259]

Sensory overload is normal. You'll find that you'll remember more of your second jump, even more of your third, etc, etc.

Don't let the fear keep you from your dream. Stop watching your video and get thy butt out to the dz. You don't have to jump - just hang out and watch everyone else having more fun than should be legal. You'll be up on your level 2 in no time.

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My primary concern is that we all occasionally have bad days where nothing seems to go right.

Yup. And it's amazing how a skydive can make all that petty crap that's going wrong seem totally insignificant.

For me the key to skydiving relatively safely has been staying aware of my mental and physical state. If I'm tired, I don't jump. Same thing if I'm hungover, or if I'm feeling a bit sick. I try hard to only jump when I'm operating at 100% (and sometimes it is hard not to jump; that old peer pressure thing...).

Good luck! Hopefully you'll be posting about your successful level 2 next weekend.

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[schattenjaeger 0]

I've only had two jumps, and though my senses weren't quite as struck dead by my first jump, the second jump is like 10,000 times better. Like you, I wasn't even really concsious during the first jump, I did all the AFF stuff, and I do remember what it felt like, but I didn't THINK during the fall, I just ran through the pre-practiced motions I did on the ground. The second jump I was actively thinking, like if I got a hand signal from an instructor, instead of my brain being like "FINGERS = LEGS OUT MOVE AHH" I was able to actively concentrate and correct, etc. But then again, you might not be like me. But heck, a second jump can't hurt, if you're not sure, right? Well, you know what I mean. And show me a man who didn't look at least a LITTLE petrified at first, and I'll show you man forged from steel. Or some similar material that would imply he's just fearless.

[mofo554 0]

If Lutz can do it....well, damnit, so can YOU!!!

Here's the Lutz link for your enlightenment:

[/url]http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=653448;page=3;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;mh=25;[url]

Watch 4freefallin off of the "From TV" section of www.skydivingmovies.com to see Lutz in action.

[schattenjaeger 0]

Yah man, you're jumping out of an AIRPLANE for goodness's sake! If it was really easy I'm sure all these guys with 100s and 1000s of jumps would be bored of it by now! The way I see it, if you didn't endanger anyone's life(yours included)pulled the right handle, weren't reduced to a hysterical mess afterwards, and are willing to try it again, that's all that counts

[Unstable 8]

My first jump?? Well, I can't say I remember a single thing about it. I remember Getting my feet out, I remember climbing out and hanging fromt the strut, and the next thing i knew i had a lovely canopy above my head. I completly blanked out - closed my eyes.

My second jump was where i started realizing what i going on around me, and it was my third until i was mellow enough, to watch the Plane fall away and the SL pull tight & release.
DOn't worry my friend, Your experience was COMPLETLY normal, All you need to do is get out and do it again!!! Let us all know how the next one goes!!!

=========Shaun ==========

[AggieDave 6]

Go do some more jumps, if you're still wigg'n out, go do a no pressure tandem.

Trust me, what you experienced is VERY normal, its not as bad on your second, even less on your third, etc.

But the moral of the story is, relax, smile, go back to the DZ and try again!

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[Muenkel 0]

I'm in agreement with everyone here. My second jump was much easier than my first because I knew what to expect.

I think you owe yourself that level B. You'll know after that jump if you want to continue.

My gut tells me, you will.

Blue skies,
Chris

Let us know what you decide. There is no shame in deciding it is not for you. Remember, you are responsible for your own skydive.

_________________________________________
Chris

[trumpetfish 0]

from a fellow newbie.
it took me till level 3 before I could stop my brain from locking up when jumping. infact I messed up my level 4 because i was still overwhelmed. It WILL get easier! stick with it for the next level (or 2) and then see how you feel. also I think leaving a long period between jumps when your doing AFF is not the best idea, try and do a couple jumps in one day if you can - tends to build more confidence that way.

and enjoy!

[poohbeer 0]

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Go do some more jumps, if you're still wigg'n out, go do a no pressure tandem.

Trust me, what you experienced is VERY normal, its not as bad on your second, even less on your third, etc.

But the moral of the story is, relax, smile, go back to the DZ and try again!

I agree although not quite.

For me my first jump was ok, didn't pull for myself but no real fears.
Jump 2 fear realy started building.
Jump 3 I could have cracked a nut with my fat ass.. that's how uptight I was.
Attempt 4 I freaked out and rode down with the plane. Swore I was gonna stop but I didn't.
THANK GOD I didn't!
Jumps 5 and 6 were a bit better but still was thinking abnoput stopping every time the aircraft was going up and certainly when the door openend on jump run.

The fear only started subsiding after 8 or jumps!! When I finaly got stable in the sky and was able to turn. But I tell you.. the fear is all worth it!! Don't quite because of fear.. you can conquer fear.
Oh, about the censory opverloading thingie.. I blanced out for entire first jump and partial 2nd and 3rd jumps.
Now at only 22 jumps I am loving it all. Door opening doesn't freak me out anymore.. it's the signal to go have some fun.

------- SIGNATURE BELOW -------
Complete newbie at skydiving, so be critical about what I say!!
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

[freakyflygirl 0]

After my first jump all I could think was "What the hell just happened", so 3 weeks later I went for another and loved it!!!! Every plane ride up til level 7, I thought to myself "why am I doing this, I'm never going to do this again". Of course after getting out I absolutely loved it.
You will remember more of your jumps as you do more.
I did have a bad day where things didn't go right and did end up having a bad landing. Completely 100% my fault. Listen to your instructors!!!! It took me almost 2 years to get back in the air and let me tell you...Standing at the plane waiting to get on for my first jump back, I almost didn't do it because I was so freakin terrified!!!
But I learned from my mistake and now I'm having awesome landings and awesome jumps!!! The fear is still there on the ride up....I'm not sure if that'll ever go away.
My advice, only skydive if i is truly something YOU want to do, learn from others mistakes and go ahead and spend some time at the dz even if your not jumping...you wouldn't believe the information and helpful advice you get just hanging around.

Oh yeah, and HAVE FUN!!!!!

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[reACTed 0]

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P.S. If it matters at all, I did do pretty well in passing level 1. I did my three PRCP’s unassisted, kept good altitude awareness, solo pulled at correct altitude, and a stand-up landing on target. My instructor said it was an excellent skydive. Why can’t I remember most of it?

I totally agree with the others, you'll remember more the more you jump (and the other way around). It's a chemical thing with all the neurotransmitters doing a formula 1 race in your head. You'll get more used to it and I don't think you should worry much since you did everything right on your level one and that's a thing you should be proud of. Extract confidence from it for your next jump. If you really want to jump you shouldn't delay it too long because it can end up in being 'that big thing of what you cannot remember much but which also was a thing you did right/survived/etc etc'.

Good luck!

krek wak wou o_0

[CAFFPM 0]

WOW! are you inside your own head or what! I can totally relate! At night as I'm drifting off to sleep, I have these shock-you-awake flashes of myself as I go into the drilling for oil mode.

But there's good news for you, not only was my first jump a flash that I still can't quite recall, what the group is saying is quite accurate. As a paramedic I can tell you that your brain is capabale of causing a myaid of negativity.

The solution is in you, you simply must find it, you have to find the one thing that will motivate you to get into the door and then out of it.

Here's mine, I see people die on a weekly basis. Lying in a hospital bed or in their homes, cancer, lung diseases, a heart so weak that they can't roll themselves over, maybe it's a gunshot or a traffic collision, the point is they keep dying, sometimes we make a diffrence but 99% of the people I see would live or die regardless if we were there or not. It doesn't matter if their rich or poor, black, white, yellow or green. They all die. My time is coming too, so is yours. I don't want mine to be in that hospital bed with a hole in the front of my belly where my crap drains out, I want to go out in a blaze of glory. And if it happens to be the hospital bed. Then at least I'll have the sweet memories of falling head first at 200 miles per hour, and taking in all of gods creation along the way. It's not a death wish. It's a life wish.

Maybe that one will work for you, maybe it won't. I don't know you, but I feel like your more one of "US" than one of "THEM." So go find what works for you and then come and play...we'll be here waiting

Skydiving: It's like dodge ball, with a really big ball...

[SkyMadness 0]

Thank you all for the replies and support!
Despite that everyone in my personal life is telling me to quit and not take up a "suicidal" sport, I have decided to follow my heart. I don't think I will have a true feeling for what skydiving is until I have a few more jumps under my belt!

I will be at my DZ this weekend to try another jump, or two...
(assuming of course that my subconscious mind doesn't think of a way out of it ).

How do you deal with the unforgiving aspect of skydiving? I mean, it is a sport where you can do everything correctly AND STILL DIE, as well as be an experienced and safe jumper who has a one-time error in judgement or miscalculation and have it cost you your life?

When I am riding my motorcycle I feel relatively safe. I have confidence that if I do something stupid that gets me in a jam, or if some nimrod cuts me off because I am invisable, I can take action and save myself or at least minimize the burn. I feel I always have an "out." When jumping out of an airplane I dont have the same security in always having an out - i.e. when my reserve tangles with my streaming main...

I hope to at least stick around long enough to meet some of you. One thing I already know about this sport - good peeps!
-Web

[FrenchyDiver 0]

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And show me a man who didn't look at least a LITTLE petrified at first, and I'll show you man forged from steel. .

Or simply put, a liar.

I too blacked out on my first. I only remember being at the door, then under a nicely open canopy. I have this jump on my mind like it was yesterday. And it was in July 1989!!!. I will never forget that one. Took me sometime to really enjoy the jumps.
And I agree with all the others.
I wouldn'r be surprised to hear one day that you've become a hell of a diver.
Go for it SkyMadness

Hispas Brothers President
HISPA #2,

[RippedCord 0]

I haven't ridden a motorcycle in traffic since I was 19, and then, rarely on the highway.

I definitely feel safer in the plane with two chutes on my back and two highly trained people jumping out with me, than I think I might at 80 mph in LA traffic.

But hey...sometimes perception is everything. Use it or lose it.


(OK, so I ripped off that perception thing from Jonathan Bach's "Illusions." )

AMDG

[Fast 0]

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Thank you all for the replies and support!
Despite that everyone in my personal life is telling me to quit and not take up a "suicidal" sport, I have decided to follow my heart. I don't think I will have a true feeling for what skydiving is until I have a few more jumps under my belt!

I will be at my DZ this weekend to try another jump, or two...
(assuming of course that my subconscious mind doesn't think of a way out of it ).

How do you deal with the unforgiving aspect of skydiving? I mean, it is a sport where you can do everything correctly AND STILL DIE, as well as be an experienced and safe jumper who has a one-time error in judgement or miscalculation and have it cost you your life?

When I am riding my motorcycle I feel relatively safe. I have confidence that if I do something stupid that gets me in a jam, or if some nimrod cuts me off because I am invisable, I can take action and save myself or at least minimize the burn. I feel I always have an "out." When jumping out of an airplane I dont have the same security in always having an out - i.e. when my reserve tangles with my streaming main...

I hope to at least stick around long enough to meet some of you. One thing I already know about this sport - good peeps!
-Web

Well, if your reserve is entangled with your main, you best be trying to untangle that shit now shouldn't you

In all reality yes, skydiving is not the most forgiving sport, one mistake, or many small ones in a row, or even just one small one can cost you your life. Thats why the instruction and saftey procedures that are taken are given a lot of thought. We train into our heads all the things that we can do to help reduce the risk.

Good luck, and blue skies!

~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

[marks 0]

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Thank you all for the replies and support!
Despite that everyone in my personal life is telling me to quit and not take up a "suicidal" sport, I have decided to follow my heart. I don't think I will have a true feeling for what skydiving is until I have a few more jumps under my belt!

I will be at my DZ this weekend to try another jump, or two...
(assuming of course that my subconscious mind doesn't think of a way out of it ).

How do you deal with the unforgiving aspect of skydiving? I mean, it is a sport where you can do everything correctly AND STILL DIE, as well as be an experienced and safe jumper who has a one-time error in judgement or miscalculation and have it cost you your life?

When I am riding my motorcycle I feel relatively safe. I have confidence that if I do something stupid that gets me in a jam, or if some nimrod cuts me off because I am invisable, I can take action and save myself or at least minimize the burn. I feel I always have an "out." When jumping out of an airplane I dont have the same security in always having an out - i.e. when my reserve tangles with my streaming main...

I hope to at least stick around long enough to meet some of you. One thing I already know about this sport - good peeps!
-Web

you may never have the "true" feeling of what its about... but you will always want more...

and as for the motorcycle..... i ride also so i can relate... im way more afraid of the bakie than i am skydiving.. just because the earth is soooooooo close on a bike..... no time to react...

[Rhonda66 0]

All I can say is that I think almost all of us have been in your shoes. I was scared to death during AFF and after each jump I'd tell myself I'd never put myself through that hell ever again. Then, 2 days later I'd be looking up at a bright blue sky wishing I was falling through it! Skydiving chose me I think - I definitely didn't want to do it, but I freakin' HAD to! Now I'm a skydiver and a pilot and I feel like if anything was to happen, man, have I lived - no complaints! Good luck!

Rhonda
PP ASEL

[Shadowplay 0]

Dude,

I have been doing AFF for over two months now. I had four weeks between 3-4. I was sooooo terrified that I really thought I was hyperventilating in the plane. Once I got out though...I don't know...I just forgot all about what the hell I was scared about and nailed it! Believe me, once you get out of the plane, you'll be fine. Survival instincts come out, and it's been ANOTHER four weeks before I can get back out to the DZ to do level five. Now I don't recommend waiting, but I can't wait to get out there. Trust your JMs. I told mine that I was scared and they said I had been rock solid up unto now so there was no reason for me to stop now. I know everyones different. I wrote something similar to this after my level two. I couldn't get an arch for the first 10 seconds or so and I thought I wasn't cut our for this stuff. If you really want it, it won't be a problem.

[JustRelax 0]

Finishing my AFF soon so these thoughts are familiar enough to me.

Seems that there is a natural fear peak for people like us at around the 2nd, 3rd or 4th jump. During these jumps our mind is struggling to cope. This includes the thoughts f wanting to jump and not wanting to jump. So after this fear peak it levels out but doesnt ever completely go away...so its about managing your fear and training yourself so your body can handle the situation.

The answer is to train - train - train. In the end the thing about the fear isnt the main issue. The main issue is about being safe, isn't it? So you just over train in the pool, in your mind you visualise every step until you can pretend easily...and yes you'll feel scared doing this on dry ground. The result is that if you have trained like that your body will bo it even though your only half aware.

After saying that youve still got the most fantastic sport you can imagine and youve acheived something special.

Keep it up :-)

________________________________________
Taking risk is part of living well - it's best to learn from other peoples mistakes, rather than your own.

[NoShitThereIWas 0]

Dear SkyMadness,

Hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself. Yes you are asking a legitimate question. But it is my belief that if you don't have fear there is something wrong with you. I mean, you are only basically jumping out a perfectly well functioning airplane from safety into the unknown and for all purposes committing what your brain computes as suicide until you are supposed to pull some little hackey or ripcord and that is supposed to make it all stop and save your life. It is a lot of confidence to put in something you aren't completely familiar with.

Last summer I was on a 10 Way team. I was my first time doing 10 Way and our team went to Nationals. I remember when I joined the team people told me 10 Way was like full contact skydiving. People would get knocked out by the door, taking a hard hit is not uncommon and speed is the name of the game. I was a base diver and every jump was so intense. Every synchronized breath, step, grip, squeeze, touch, grab, look, key between the team meant something.

The intensity and adrenaline of trying to beat the clock in a round of speed formation is a kick. In my position (#4 out the plane) the door was my biggest obstacle and cutting the angle of the exit so it wasn't too steep. Variation in my exit from what my team was used to meant I or potentially someone else hit the door (more than likely Gary our #10) would be unable to clear the door and his calves would get smacked into the upper part of the door jam. Ouch!

Skydiving can be a little intense at times and at other times it can be lay back and relaxing. It does take a little getting used to plummetting at the Earth at 120 mph ... Sometimes it may take a little bit to get out there and just do it. And AFF can be a little intimidating but just take the bull by the horns is my advice.

When you get somewhere in the neighborhood of 30-50 skydives your views will probably start to change. Do whatever it is you feel comfortable doing. If you just want to hang out at the DZ and learn tidbits of info. do that, if you feel like making a jump, make a jump. Get to know your instructors. Ask them questions, practice a lot on the ground and learn as much as you can.

Practice on the ground is cheap. Time in the air goes fast and is expensive. Fear is just a small part of skydiving. Overcoming fear is another part. The best is yet to come. Be safe and good luck.

Roy Bacon: "Elvises, light your fires."

Sting: "Be yourself no matter what they say."

[annna 0]

We were chatting about 'the fear' the other day - and three of us pretty much concluded we'd been terrified on every jump right up to around 2 or 300ish or something. So much so that there'd be this wicked guilty kind of relief if we turned up to the DZ and it was raining ..... !!!

The fear comes much less often now,,,,,, and to be honest, i kinda miss it. So make the most of it !!!!!

anna x

[themitchyone 0]

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it is normall for a first jump student not to remember anything...

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I agree that on my level one I don't remember a lot. After I landed I couldn't remember if I had counted to six as my parachute was opening. It was a learning experience: I realized later how I must be super-conscious of that and everything else I need to do. There was so much sensory overload the first time. When the chute was open and after I did my check, I was like this is so awesome that for nearly a minute (maybe) I forgot to head for the triangle (my DZ landing area). With each time you'll have less overload and have more confidence.

"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girl's sports such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing." - Homer Simpson

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