Friend dies skydiving... little freaked out to get back in the air?

[Conundrum 1]

The latest fatality at Perris hit close to home, she was my friend. I'm feeling a little bit scared to jump, after thinking all week about her accident over and over and over.

Is this normal or am I just being stupid? I will get back in the air this weekend, I just feel a little freaked out.

help?

[windcatcher 0]

I would assume this is normal, since when someone you dies, your own mortality hits closer to home.

I think it is normal for you to feel this way, it is good to think about death IMHO. You have chosen to participate in an activity that could result in death, so I think it is healthy for you to think about death.

just my 2 cents

Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...

[vdschoor 0]

It's totally normal, I have lost friends and I've been really freaked out about jumping after those events.

Up until know things have happened, or you read about it but they were always "strangers" to you, now that it is someone you know you start questioning all the things you just for granted. And you start questioning is this really worth it? At least I did...

Go make some jumps and you will know why you are jumping again.

Good luck, and all the best.. this is something really tough to deal with, but your friends will be there at the dropzone. Don't deal with it alone...

Iwan

[billvon 2,463]

>Is this normal or am I just being stupid?

It's happened to most of us. Losing someone close to us makes you think long and hard about what can happen in this sport, and what happens to other people when we injure or kill ourselves. As always, the decision to go back up is up to you.

[Remster 24]

Of course its normal. Many people have quit the sport after coming face to face with its reality. You can tell people that skydiving has real risks, but often, its only when having something hit close to home that it drives in the reality of it.

Remster

[Amazon 7]

Chelle,,

Go get back in the air. Death is part of life and when someone close to us dies it hits us hard. I have watched helplessly while people I kew died in this sport. Its a horrible thing and you remember it always. I guess its always hardest for those that are left behind.
Remember the good things.. and time will help dull the bad thing.

Blue skies are easier to remember than the other part of this.

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

I feel exactly the same way, but I'm jumping on Saturday, anyway.

Sorry you feel so bad, 'Chelle. Hope to see you soon.

[GoatBoy 0]

It is very hard to get back in the air after losing a friend. It is just a matter of taking the time to sort out those feelings and coming to terms with how you really feel about the sport after that, it does change things. Keep in mind that they died doing something they loved and probably would not want you to quit over it, just like you wouldn't want any of your friends to quit if it was you.

Look at what happened and learn from it, I feel that is what you should do with every tragedy in this sport. Be confident in yourself that you can handle any situation that comes up in the best way possible, and learn all your options. I personally am not one to advise someone to "get right back up there" if you are not ready, don't force it. Take your time and adjust, you do not need to impair yourself by being in the air while too emotional. It took me a couple months of soul searching to get back in the air, and I am glad I took that time to evaluate and reflect.

Flying Hellfish #31
"I'm not allowed to talk about it till after the trial"
www.SkydiveTecumseh.com

[NWFlyer 2]

I was really surprised by my own reaction on Sunday. We too had a fatality at our DZ on Saturday, and the possiblity of dying in this sport hit home to me right then and there. I was surprised, however, that come Sunday morning, I didn't really approach things very differently and it didn't really feel that different for me. I took the lessons learned from the incident as a reminder of what I have to do on every single skydive, but when I started prepping my jumps, my jump was all that was on my mind. I focused on the tasks at hand and on executing what I needed to execute. For me that's part of what I love about skydiving - once I'm geared up, everything else melts away - job, personal life, etc. By focusing on my jump and what I wanted to accomplish, I was even able to make his death melt away, even temporarily.

It was only on my third jump of the day that what had happened the day before creeped into my consciousness on the plane as I discussed the incident with a licensed jumper. There was another student on the load, doing just her second static line jump, and at one point during our conversation, I sort of motioned to her (she couldn't see me) and said "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this..." It wasn't just for her benefit - I realized that I also needed to stop talking about it because it was taking my focus away from my skydive.

I don't know what to say to make it any easier to get back into the plane except see if you can find something else to focus on about the jump, whether it's prepping to jump with someone or whatever (helps that I'm a student and have clear performance objectives to focus on).

And yes, it seems like this is perfectly normal. It's one thing to read incident reports, it's entirely another to drive into the parking lot of the DZ (as I did) and see the jumper's truck sitting there empty like he was going to be there that morning (and realizing he wasn't).

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[bkdice 0]

A friend died at the DZ when I had about 15 jumps. It freaked me out - especially because of the nature of the accident. I wasn't sure if I would continue. I decided not to decide until I made another jump. After making the next jump I realized that skydiving was something I wanted to do and that risk is a part of life I was willing to accept.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. You'll figure out what you want to do. Don't rush it and give yourself time to recover from it. You'll do the right thing for you.

Bettina

[tbrown 26]

One thing I've noticed is that anytime somebody goes in, it's not unusual for somebody else to quit. Losing someone you know is completely different from reading about somebody else's accident in the Incident reports, especially if you happened to be there or see it happen.

I'd urge you to get back in the air this weekend. Saturday is Safety Day anyhhow, so go out to the DZ and help make it happen. I'd think maybe they should even dedicate Safety Day to Michelle's memory, and Adria Allen's as well. Then get back in the air. You'll probably feel some jitters on the ride up, but the moment you step away from the plane and feel the big sky around you, you'll feel like you're home again. You're just learning (the hard way) to show it a new respect. Blue skies & jump safe.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[lilgirltep 0]

I too had a friend pass away in December and understand how you feel. I am very new to the sport and really didnt expect for something like that to happen as soon as it did especially to someone I knew. We graduated AFF together and it took me 3 months to get back in the air-- I tell you what is was AWESOME! It felt so good to be returning and I am sure that is what my friend would have wanted, I know nothing would have kept him from doing what he loved. Good luck to ya- sorry for your loss

[marks 0]

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The latest fatality at Perris hit close to home, she was my friend. I'm feeling a little bit scared to jump, after thinking all week about her accident over and over and over.

Is this normal or am I just being stupid? I will get back in the air this weekend, I just feel a little freaked out.

help?

live! baby girl live! live your life like it is the last day to live.

it hurts, trust me i know. be yourself. express yourself. and enjoy every minute of it!

[JohnMitchell 14]

It's a rough thing. Many of us have been through it. Honor your friend's memory by redoubling your efforts to promote safety in our sport. It's what got me going down the road to being an instructor. You can make a difference.

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

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I focused on the tasks at hand and on executing what I needed to execute. For me that's part of what I love about skydiving - once I'm geared up, everything else melts away - job, personal life, etc. By focusing on my jump and what I wanted to accomplish, I was even able to make his death melt away, even temporarily.

It's true that once the time comes to jump, what you just described is probably what will be the case for 'Chelle, myself and anyone else who is upset and frightened by Michele's death. Many of us haven't jumped, yet, since hearing the news and have had the whole week to think about it. I have been jumping very infrequently myself, so there is apprehension since I tend to analyze things like crazy while on the ground. Yet, I know that when I actually go to jump, I won't feel that way because I will be focused on the jumps.

I can't speak for 'Chelle, but the way in which Michele went in was so gruesome and almost unbelievable...no canopy out whatsoever. It is so frustrating and very mentally difficult for us to deal with, rather than with the death of someone under canopy from a low turn. That is what has me and all my friends spooked the very most. It's quite disturbing to know that this is a death from a no pull. It is especially disturbing when we know that she knew better than that.

[skybill 19]

Hi Con,
Tough call. One thing to consider though, is what if it was you that went in and would you want your friends to quit jumping because of something that you did?? Pick up the torch and carry on in the spirit of your friend.

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[NWFlyer 2]

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Many of us haven't jumped, yet, since hearing the news and have had the whole week to think about it.

So true, Rosa, I think if I had an entire week to think about it, my thought process might have been different. As it was, I found out early afternoon on Saturday and was in the air Sunday morning. Not too much time to really process the reality of it or second guess my decision to get back up again.

I hope you all are able to have positive jumps this weekend and remember the joy that this sport brings you despite its tragedies. I know that helped me immensely (as did meeting his family last night and realizing that, even in their grief, they understand that, too).

[GoatBoy 0]

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It is so frustrating and very mentally difficult for us to deal with, rather than with the death of someone under canopy from a low turn.

That does make harder to handle, it really shows us that it can happen to any of us. When you can't answer the questions of why or what happened it is hard to process. Even after over a year I still find myself trying to figure out why and what happened, but there is only one person that knows that answer. Someday I'll ask him, then hit him for leaving us too soon.
Be safe everyone, we may have not met yet, but you are all my friends. I don't want to lose anymore

Flying Hellfish #31
"I'm not allowed to talk about it till after the trial"
www.SkydiveTecumseh.com

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

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It is so frustrating and very mentally difficult for us to deal with, rather than with the death of someone under canopy from a low turn.

That does make harder to handle, it really shows us that it can happen to any of us.

[PsychoBob 0]

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am I just being stupid.

You can never be stupid when you grieve the loss of a friend. If it didn't upset or affect you then I would start worrying. I hope you find comfort and peace in your jumps this weekend. I bid you peace.

"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it"
RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?"

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[salling772 0]

yes this is normal i lost 4 friends over the years i ben jumping 3 of them have ben on the same teams i have ben on. the best way to honer her is to get some of her friend and do a sunset dive for her.
she is in a better place blue sky to her and to all of her friends

----------------------------------------------
All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you. J. R. T.

[Deuce 1]

My friend Sandy was critically injured by a freak windshear accident that crushed her face. She was doing everything right, flying a conservative canopy, and was very nearly killed. Going up to the American Boogie that year, I decided to sell my gear. I was in cold sweats thinking about jumping.

Good people make mistakes and die. I have gone to more cop funerals than skydiving ones, but the circumstances are similar. People we love who have made a split second mistake and have died.

Skydiving may not be worth the risks.

Niether may be working in the military or policework.

What do you want? How much are you willing to pay for it?

[MakeItHappen 15]

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I can't speak for 'Chelle, but the way in which Michele went in was so gruesome and almost unbelievable...no canopy out whatsoever. It is so frustrating and very mentally difficult for us to deal with, rather than with the death of someone under canopy from a low turn. That is what has me and all my friends spooked the very most. It's quite disturbing to know that this is a death from a no pull. It is especially disturbing when we know that she knew better than that.

This is definitely a comment from a new-age jumper. And it strikes me as odd because I have been jumping for +20 years.

Back in the BC days [BC= Before Cypres-aka before 1990] the #1 way people died in skydiving was a low or no pull. Dying under a perfectly good canopy was virtually non-existent. To me, and please realize my long term perspective here, the fact that these types of fatalities happen so INFREQUENTLY now is a good thing. The persistent perfectly good canopy fatalities are extremely frustrating.

I'll have to admit to something about this fatality that never ever crossed my mind. It never occurred to me that a jumper would or could or potentially turn on an AAD at home. I do not know if this is what happened, but the possibility of it is, to me, very mind-boggling. I suppose this is similar to the same way new-age jumpers think that a no/low pull is mind-boggling. This was so disturbing to me that I asked the S&T Comm if we should specifically mention in the SIM that an AAD should be turned on at the DZ. This is still up for discussion. New jumpers do not have the history of AADs that us old folks have.

It seems to me that when AADs were not reliable, many more regular jumpers knew about their advantages and disadvantages. Today, with the CYPRES and other reliable AADs, regular jumpers seem to take for granted the AAD, it's operational parameters and reliability.

.

.
Make It Happen
Parachute History
DiveMaker

[Superman32 0]

This is another very horrible event.
I have never met her personally, but by seeing her posts, I feel somewhat connected. Its another very,very sad event.

Inveniam Viam aut Faciam
I'm back biatches!

[happythoughts 0]

I believe that people keep jump because of 2 things:

-No training can eliminate the risks, but they believe that their training has minimized the risks as much as humanly possible.

-"It won't happen to me."

I have walked out to the boarding area after the helicopter or ambulance leaves.

Most of the nastier incidents that I have seen are the result of low hooks and "hey, watch this". Since I am very careful and slow, I feel that I am minimizing my risk.

The wierdest experience was being on a plane and having a very short conversation with a guy who, moments later, committed suicide by tracking in. I kept replaying the conversation and facial expressions.