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Jessica

Women, marriage, and skydiving

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OK. Just curious, and I know this is a personal kind of thing I'm bringing up. Don't reply unless you wanna.
But I was musing today that I don't think there are ANY women here on dz.com who started skydiving AFTER they got married, who are STILL married. I'm talking women married to guys who had no interest in jumping, not happy skydivery couples.
There are a lot of guys happily married to whuffos. But I can't think of any women.
A point was made in another thread (similar to a point I made many moons ago on a similar thread) that males tend to feel emasculated by females' jumping. Could that have something to do with it?
Just some random thoughts.

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I'm going to go get some extra beer...this should make for a great thread. Flame away people!!! ;)
To get it started I'll add this possibility...skydivers are a special breed, generally unwilling to accept what society tells us is expected of us. Take a woman with this newfound frame of mind and you get someone who realizes she doesn't have to put her square self into life's round hole. This includes playing the part of doting wife. So she becomes a rebellious pain in the butt to her husband and he leaves her, or she decides that she would prefer to live free in an environment where she is put on a pedestal (as all skychicks should be, of course ;) ) so she leaves the husband.
If this doesn't push any buttons, I'll try again! :D
FallRate

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Actually Eric you are pretty much right on. I was married for just over a year when I discovered skydiving. I became a totally different person. More confident, more my own person. I even dress differently! I no longer want to fade away in the corner... I want to jump and laugh and play and live life to it's fullest. The girl my husband married was much quieter and more into making sure he was pleased than into making sure she was happy too. Add to all that wanting to spend all my spare time at the dz and it's the perfect recipe for divorce. And so it goes. I've never been so alive.
dove

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she decides that she would prefer to live free in an environment where she is put on a pedestal (as all skychicks should be, of course

I wanna live in your environment!!:)"You have not truly lived, til you've known someone worth dying for"

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Single 3 years (happily, no thanks to her) and haven't been seriously looking (till now, maybe). The ex did resent the fact that I jump though. She made a few static lines, but mostly due to me I think.
Presently courting an awesome woman who jumps...and shoots...and is very intelligent, and sexy! Ohhhh, if there's a heaven, it may be here on earth!!
GODDAMN!!!!!! Holy shit.....just heard from afformentioned intelligent woman. The definition of courting is not exactly what I meant. Let's try dating.
G. Jones
"Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."

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Interesting pros.
Actually, I did my first skydive the day my divorce was final! Really felt like true freedom really is when I left that plane!
Was actually only going to make one dive that day. 6 years and 1300+ skydives later, I'm a changed person as well.
God, I'm glad to have found this sport and family!:)ltdiver
____________________________________________
LightDiverCam

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The girl my husband married was much quieter and more into making sure he was pleased than into making sure she was happy too.

I think you hitted the schweet spot of women learning skydiving after marrying a completely self minded close brain whuffo (every whuffo that doesn't even wants to try a tandem is that, but thats just my opinion). Skydiving does changes people, is better to meet a skydiver than to meet a future skydiver cause he/she will change sooner or later.
Once you skydive and like it, you get a totally new understanding of the word freedom, debt and broke (in terms of money) and there is no way you wanna let that go and whuffos get jealous of that and want to take you to theyr wicked world of golf and boredom and if you don't comply they get pissed and then it starts...
But hey am just a 20 year old kid and single (any ladies?), so what do I know?
oh yeah btw, skydiving freedom = (debt)(broke) its a directly proportional thing, you can't have one without the other, it is one of the skydiving curse!
"Life is full of danger, so why be afraid?"
drenaline

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I became a totally different person. More confident, more my own person. I even dress differently!


I totally agree with you. I am single, and was when I started jumping not too long ago, but skydiving has had an amazing impact on my confidence. I no longer feel the need to "please" people by the way I dress, etc. I am not saying I let my appearance go to hell, but I have a lot more confidence in who I am, not what I am wearing or if makeup is on. For the first time, I just feel real and strong-with or without a man. :)The mind is like a parachute--it works better when it is open. JUMP.

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well, not exactly married, but happy together. We're together since '99, I started skydiving in 2001. He likes to hang out on the dropzone with me. He did one Tandem (2 weeks ago) and said he liked it best under canopy. talks about taking up hanggliding.
So, I think it can work out. but only with special people ;-)
Greez
Chronistin
*************************************
http://www.skydance.at/

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well humph! I have been single a long time now......and interetingly enough just this past weekend my ex says to me:"Geez I sure wish you would hurry up and get that skydiving crap out of your system" Oh man those were fighting words! Being the ever so benevolentdoc, I merely laughed and said........"Um yeah like that's ever going to happen!" Whuffos..........they just don't get it.
"Cheeky lil' thing aren't ya?" sez Ash

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Let's see... my hubby (yes, whuffo) bought me my FJC last fall. I obsessed about it all winter, and started up again 6 weeks ago. In those six weeks my entire life has changed. Will the marriage survive? I think so.
Thing is he's not a 'real' whuffo. The only reason he's not jumping is because he's saving his $ for his pilot's license. He's entirely supportive and doesn't care if I spend ... A LOT... of cash on this.
But we've never been the typical 'married couple'. Our goal is to be happy together, not to 'please each other'. We've always done rock climbing and SCUBA diving and gone expedition camping together, so we don't exactly fit the mold. ;) I really, really hope, though, that he does do a jump soon. His support is great, but I know that he doesn't really understand why I'm so obsessed.
As far as being changed by skydiving, no longer the same person... I've been keeping a written account of my skydiving journey. The day after my first ten second delays, I wrote a two-page piece. These are the last four paragraphs.
***
"And yet it is later, as I step out on that step again, that the impossible happens. A calmness spreads through me, and even my stomach does not complain. This time Koyne is my jumpmaster and tells me to, “GO!” and I nod once before opening my hands. My arms reach for the arch as my hips push out and my head looks up. Wind! Here I am!
I watch Koyne follow me out, I see the sky, I feel the wind. It weaves a cocoon around me, and I relax enough to let it shape me to its ways. As my count reaches six, I’m still stable and relaxed. And right then, the impossible happens again.
In the voice of the rushing wind, I am told a secret. That this is life, this is why we are here. To do things that exhilarate the soul, to speak with the world and learn its language. The wind takes away everything but the moment, removes the dust of the past and the weight of the future. I am here to stretch my wings, to find out who I am by removing that which I am not. It is a baptism of air.
On the count of ten, I pull my pilot chute. Nylon blossoms, I slow down, and after I confirm my canopy is good, I want to cry. Because I’ve left someone behind, and she was me. She was the person who clung to the past for definition, who crawled cautiously through life so that no one would be disturbed by her intimidated presence. She was the person who tried to do what others expected of her and failed to do what she expected of herself. She was me, and I am no longer her."

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Let me add to this picture as well.
I was living with someone when I got "bit" by the skydiving bug. Less than 6 months later, and him wanting me around 25/8 :D I said my fairwells and went on my way. We are still friends, and he ended up marrying a woffo who still seems jealous of me and our past. She's probably that way cuz I had the balls to "do my own thing" instead of wilting away.
SKYDIVING GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE....

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Once you skydive and like it, you get a totally new understanding of the word freedom, debt and broke (in terms of money)

That's one reason I'm glad I wasn't married when I started this nonsense.
Hypothetical situation:
Me: "Honey, I'm going to learn to skydive. Is it OK if I cash in our 401(k) for skydiving lessons and gear? And if I empty our savings account for jump tickets?"
Husband: "No."
Actual situation:
Me: "I'm going to spend all my money on skydiving."
Me: "Okay."

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:)I shared that piece with my group of writing friends, and they liked it, but none of them 'got it'. How could they? This community of skydivers (here and the local dz) is quickly becoming more 'family' than just 'friends'. Talking to people who understand what it's like makes it so much easier to get through the days between jumping.

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