AggieDave 6 #51 January 7, 2004 I just now read it and it did make me laugh. That's a funny joke that I've got to remember! Infact, I think that is now my "bad joke of the week" (tm), to be told over and over again at the DZ.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydivingNurse 0 #52 January 7, 2004 What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat Minor Sorry, music class joke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ron 7 #53 January 7, 2004 Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that escaped from jail.... He was a small, medium, at large."No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FrenchyDiver 0 #54 January 7, 2004 The national poetry contest had come down to 2 finalists, a Yale graduate and a resident of Newfoundland. They were given a single word then allowed 2 minutes to come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was Timbuktu. First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped up to the podium and recited into the microphone: Slowly across the desert sand, Trekked a lonely caravan. Men on camels, two by two, Destination - Timbuktu. The crowd roared with applause. The sentiment in the crowd was the there was no way the Newfie could top that poem. The Newfie made his way to the stage and approached the microphone. He cleared his voice and recited: Me and Tim huntin went, Met tree hookers in a pop up tent. They was tree and we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu. Hispas Brothers President HISPA #2, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #55 January 7, 2004 BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DTOXX 0 #56 January 7, 2004 Why don't Polish girls use vibrators? Chips their teeth. ------- D.T. Holder SIMstudy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdgregory 0 #57 January 7, 2004 that's just wrong! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
selbbub78 0 #58 January 7, 2004 Quotethat's just wrong! it's funny though"Women fake orgasms - men fake whole relationships" – Sharon Stone "The world is my dropzone" (wise crewdog quote) "The light dims, until full darkness pierces into the world."-KDM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigWaveDave 0 #59 January 7, 2004 A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group. After the story was read she gave the children a work sheet to do. She thought they may have some problems so wanted them to work on it there. She heard a little girl say very softly "damn!". The teacher leaned over and said quietly, "We don't say that in school." The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she said, "Not even when things are all fucked up?!"“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caress 0 #60 January 7, 2004 Panda goes into a bar and grill-orders a sandwich-eats it and then takes out a gun and kills the waiter. He gets up to walk out and the bartender says hey, where are you going? The bear says I'm a panda. Bartender says so? Panda says look it up in the dictionary. Bartender looks under panda in the dictionary " Black and white chinese bear-eats shoots, and leaves. lol-Caress I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rocket 0 #61 January 7, 2004 not sure if it will make you feel better but we have not been able to jump for 11 weeks in a row now, simply due to weather. I hope you get a laugh out of that cause I sure as hell don't!!!!!!!!!!!! "Make your plans dark and as inpenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt" -Sun Tsu rocket Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jeremyneas 0 #62 January 7, 2004 QuoteTha man said "I would have gotten out today". Laughed my ass off Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
champu 1 #63 January 7, 2004 Peter: Hey Brian I got a riddle for you, this woman has two kids and she has to kill one of them, which one does she kill? Brian: Peter, that's not a riddle, that's... that's just terrible. Peter: ERRR Wrong! it's the ugly one! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdgregory 0 #64 January 7, 2004 Quotenot sure if it will make you feel better but we have not been able to jump for 11 weeks in a row now, simply due to weather. I hope you get a laugh out of that cause I sure as hell don't!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA LMAO! You suck you non jumping maroon! HAHAHA! {j/k} Yeah those of us living up in the great white north are getting the hose right now. 2 jumps since 11/22. This sucks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #65 January 7, 2004 Martha's family placed her in a lovely old folks home that was known for giving great care. Martha's sitting on the patio one day and she slowly starts leaning over to the left. A nurse rushes up and sits her upright. Then Martha slowly starts leaning over to the right. The nurse rushes up again and sits her upright. Martha's family stops by and asks how she's enjoying the new home and if they're taking care of her. Martha says "Yes, but they won't let me fart." 'Shell'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #66 January 7, 2004 No good joke, but I bumped into Lucy Liu the other day, and then I had to go find whomever it was that peed in my pants while I was struggling to find something to say. Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigWaveDave 0 #67 January 7, 2004 As a squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breath. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened. “Well,” he whispered, “I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, ‘Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!’” “He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, ‘George W. Bush is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!’” “We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us.”“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bch7773 0 #68 January 7, 2004 its not the same without Peter's laugh lol MB 3528, RB 1182 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FliegendeWolf 0 #69 January 7, 2004 Nice!! A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clownburner 0 #70 January 7, 2004 Kinda sad, really. He clearly has a problem, and the justice system seems to think that the best way to fix it is to keep arresting him, rather than getting him treatment.7CP#1 | BTR#2 | Payaso en fuego Rodriguez "I want hot chicks in my boobies!"- McBeth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdgregory 0 #71 January 7, 2004 hey psst clownburner you were the 69th response Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #72 January 7, 2004 Quotehey psst clownburner you were the 69th response You are off a little or is it that you are a little off?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shedao 0 #73 January 7, 2004 Quoteok in advance, this joke is not the best i've heard, but the others are too dirty for the internet Are you using the same internet I am? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DTOXX 0 #74 January 7, 2004 Are you using the most "current" version of the Internet? (I.T. joke) ------- D.T. Holder SIMstudy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
