0
dtthorne

10 Things skydivers hate the most?

Recommended Posts

Quote

That's why I posted the official beer rules at my DZ.;)



Post them here so the rest of us can see them. I personally think the "beer rules" should be included in the first jump course--That way you avoid ambiguity from the start.
I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Here it is from Wendy's Boxofclue site.

Quote

BEER RULES

1. An unwritten law, one as immutable and irrefutable as gravity and backed by history, states that skydivers enjoy the drinking of beer almost as much as flight itself.

2. A manifestation of this fact is the tradition of the buying by an individual skydiver a case of beer (that being twenty-four cans or bottles holding twelve or more ounces of beer, ale, or some similar such substance) for his or her fellow jumpers to celebrate the accomplishment of a particular feat or milestone in one's jump career.

3. It is generally recognized that the buying and drinking of such beer enhances that common bond shared by skydivers and contributes greatly to the body of knowledge concerning parachuting and its related activities.

4. It is a sad fact that some skydivers are ignorant of what constitutes a significant achievement (usually and henceforth referred to as a "first"). Equally sad is the fact that some unscrupulously thirsty jumpers will shamelessly try to "weasel" a case of beer out of a jumper for an inauspicious event.

5. Recognizing this, the following happenings are to be regarded as suitable occasions for buying beer. This list is not to be construed as exhaustive.

6. First jump (It is not required of students. They are simply encouraged to participate).

7. If more than one first is accomplished on a single jump, only one case of beer is required.

8. Participation is voluntary. If a skydiver chooses not to participate by buying, neither shall the skydiver enjoy the fruits of the accomplishments of others.

9. Non-drinkers may buy sodas and buyers may make up any part or whole of their purchase in soda for the enjoyment of those non-drinkers.

10. It is generally recognized that using a reserve parachute for the purpose of saving one's worthless, non-packing self from a gory death requires him to buy the saving rigger dinner or the bottle of liquor of his choice.

11. These articles are ironclad and binding. For the price of an additional six-pack, a sniveling skydiver may enlist the services of an S & TA to represent him or her in a hearing where the committee will rule against that skydiver a second time.

* Completing the student course of instruction
* First four way
* First eight way
* First CRW
* First time in the peas
* First night jump
* First kiss pass
* First competition
* First water jump
* First naked jump
* First jump on your own pack job
* First dead center (measured by a judge or electronic scoring pad on a three or five cm disc)
* First jump on a new main or new rig (purchased, not borrowed)
* Any license, award, rating, or badge
* Getting your name or photo in "Parachutist" Magazine
* Gross safety violations not resulting in serious injury or death
* Any jump ending in "00"
* First cutaway/reserve ride
* First jump from an aircraft not normally used at home drop zone
* First jump at a new drop zone
* First demo jump
* First save (you riggers thought you were getting off easy)
* Vomiting in the airplane or on another skydiver
* First round canopy jump (Geez, used to be the other way around)
* First broken bone
* First camera jump


--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

It's funny, a lot of the things I hate the most about skydiving are also the things I love.



In a similar category I put movies featuring skydiving. I hate them, but i can't help grinning because they are SO bad.

I can't remember the names of the films, but in one Charlie Sheen goes up for a tandem jump and gets dropped out of a trapdoor in the plane and then his Tandem Instructor - a lady - waits a (very long time) then jumps out, swoops down and does if i remember right a Mr. Bill?

And another film Patric 'Dirty Dancing' Swazie and a group of mates leap out of a plane and have a conversation for several minutes in freefall. WTF?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Nicely put, that goes for which disciplines (that's plural on purpose) you choose to do, or whether you like to dink around or full-out train serious.

It's real simple, if 2 people are so different that they don't have fun jumping with each other, then they should just not jump together. And then do this without belittling the other's (attitude, discipline, planning, jumping).



That is exactly what I meant. I can't understand the negativity that goes around sometimes. It happens in a lot of aspects of life. With a little thought, maybe it wouldn't happen is skydiving as much.
:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nowhere near enough girlies in the sport DAMNIT. i lkie my freinds but once, just once, i wanna be on an otter with 20 hottie jumper chicks.

and, yeah yoder ill go all the way up. thought a id add that before you said anything.
The skies are no longer safe

I'm back

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I can't remember the names of the films, but in one Charlie Sheen goes up for a tandem jump and gets dropped out of a trapdoor in the plane and then his Tandem Instructor - a lady - waits a (very long time) then jumps out, swoops down and does if i remember right a Mr. Bill?



You're confusing Terminal Velocity and Drop Zone. Charlie Sheen plays the rebel without a clue skydiving instructor forced to help a beautiful ex-KGB agent foil a plot by the Russian mafia in Terminal Velocity. Wesley Snipes gets dropped out of the bomb bay doors of a Porter and swooped by his TM in Drop Zone, where he plays a federal agent pursuing a gang of skydiving smugglers engaged in a terrorist plot through the seedy underbelly of the skydiving world. Both of these films are passable "B" action films. Point Break is actually a pretty decent flick. Cutaway is unwatchable.

If you dislike skydiving movies because they're inaccurate and unrealistic, that's just a sad fact of filmmaking--People hate movies about their "thing." It doesn't necessarily make the films "bad" movies.
I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

And I was pretty aghast when some people introduced a container of snuff (snuff?! Who the fuck actually has snuff?!) ON THE PLANE AT 10,000 FEET. WTF?! Isn't "catching a buzz" the same as skydiving under the influence? 'Cause if that's not what doing the snuff was about, I am not sure what the point was. So what if there was an emergency at the moment everyone was sitting there "enjoying" their buzz?



When I was S&TA (actually, I'd still do the same thing now that I'm not), and I was on a load and saw that, my reply would be.
"You are grounded. If you land in the plane, it's for a whole weekend, starting now. If you jump, it's permanent."
Pretty sure the local DZOs would back me up.

(>o|-<

If you don't believe me, ask me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
here we go with 10 things i realy hate

10- weather reports that lie
9- bad spotting (i hate walking )
8- students that dont listen to good advice,
7- traffice jams that make me miss the first load
6- jumpmasters shouting at pilots grrrrr
5- jumpmasters shouting at students in the plane
double grrr
4- watching student landings when you know they are going to get hurt
3- skygods
2- BAD excuses try and be original
and my number one hate is

drum roll
skydivers who hurt themselves just to show off in front of they'r friends next time you hurt yourself make it a good hurt cos i'm gonna be there to kick you real hard
life is a journey not to arrive at the grave in a pristine condition but to skid in sideways kicking and screaming, shouting "fuck me what a ride!.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1. negative attitudes & complainers....:D

okay, okay, i do have a few....
1. cloud deck
2. bank statements hitting an all time low
3. being a newbie!
:P heidi
i didn't lose my mind, i sold it on ebay. .:need a container to fit 5'4", 110 lb. cypres ready & able to fit a 170 main (or slightly smaller):.[/ce

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
in skydiving: skygods, rain
in real life: COWS (i`m afraid of cows)... i have something like a COWFOBIA>:(:S
any psychologist can explain this?... i never suffered a trauma (related to cows)
who know... i just hate cows :| but i love the milk


-------------------------
"jump, have fun, pull"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

in skydiving: skygods, rain
in real life: COWS (i`m afraid of cows)... i have something like a COWFOBIA>:(:S
any psychologist can explain this?... i never suffered a trauma (related to cows)
who know... i just hate cows :| but i love the milk



You hate cows?! But, they're so CUTE! Big fat noses, pretty brown eyes, happy kinda amble about, think I'll try this here set of clover.... no real stress, no worries... (well, except the whole slaughter thing)
musta been some kinda dain bramage.... that's all I can figure.
Hating the skygods - that I can see. (but it's mainly cuz I'm jealous... my little 100 jumps to thousands and thousands.... I just want more too....)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

COWS (i`m afraid of cows)... i have something like a COWFOBIA



Go a a drivethrew. Buy a burger, a BIG one, juicey...anyways, buy a burger.

Now, quickly drive away from the burger joint towards the nearest cowpasture. Find the nearest cow (not bull or steer), pat it on its head and start eating your burger.

That'll teach'em to scare you.


:P
--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Lots of lesbian sex followed by sex with a man...and videoing it...to share...



Did that last night minus the video. Now i'm dead tired and stuck at work all day. I wanna go back to bed....to SLEEP this time. ;)

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I hate the COLD!!!!!!
the sun is shining, there is NO WIND, but so damn cold that the you just can't jump!!!!

Also hate landing out when going cross country....damn beer is expensive

Either I'm just ignorant, or sheltered, but don't think I've met a true "sky god", but think I'd hate one anyway.

hate getting in the plane just to remember that I left one glove behind.

I hate packing

I hate seeing the last lift go up, and I'm not on it.
I just am................

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have killed people for less of a reason....

Firstly....
I have a Honda prelude....that does have a big exhaust....and a a honda civic with a big exhaust....and i have a 7" LCD DVD navi....and I skydive. Don't kick my dog by say you have people that have those cars, btw I agree with you about the spoiler...it is too much. I do have my honda ricer beating 50% of american muscle cars. So it is not slow.
I don't hate you for hating me...bw. there is nothing wrong with driving 100mph is afternoon traffic just as long as you drive safely :-) no that was a joke. there are people that mistake fear with stupidity.

Quote

Other stuff:
1. People driving and talking on cell phones.
2. Every kid with a honda/misc. compact car driving down the road with an exhaust pipe bigger than a 5 gallon bucket, a spoiler that looks like it was designed for a top fuel dragster, while talking on a cell phone and watching a movie on a 14inch LCD screen mounted to the dash and driving down the road at 100mph in afternoon traffic.

Skydiving:
1. Driving 96.2 miles to the DZ on a beautiful Saturday morning, getting geared up, then the winds pick up just enough to keep me on the ground (still on student status).
2. Winter
3. Rain
4. Making a few jumps on Sunday, then having to go back to my desk on monday morning (my office has no windows!)





Blue Skies

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0