Just About Burnt My House Down

[Kramer 0]

At 10:10 I put on 6 hard boiled eggs. You're to boil them for like 25 minutes, then put cold water on them. So at 10:35 I was supposed to take them out. Just a few minutes ago, about 11:50 it hit me like a ton of bricks that I never touched them. I overcooked them by 1:15.

I sprint out of my room, round the corner to look in the kitchen, I see NOTHING but complete smoke everywhere. I'm scared shit less at this point. The whole house WREAKS badly. I get to the stove, and the eggs are sitting on the bottom of the pan just fucking getting the shit burnt out of them. All the water evaporated by this time, and it's just the eggs sitting there burning like fuck. And it stinks so bad. All of them had exploded at one point or another. I found pieces of egg shell on the dining room coffee table (like 25 feet away), that's a big big big god damn explosion. I don't know how I didn't hear or smell this before simply remembering.

Anyway, I need advice: My house fucking wreaks right now of burnt egg. People, let me tell you, this is the single worst smell ever to grace my nose in the 20 years I've spent on this Earth. What I'm wondering is, do you think it's going to smell like this forever, or will eventually all the fans I'm running blow the smell out? Like basically I'm worried that my clothes and shit are going to be stained with this awful awful smell. Help. Ty.

The FAKE KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMER!!!!!!!!!

[jose 0]

Holy shit.....your description is fucking hilarious......



Sucks to be you!!!!!1




2 words......ozone machine....

[bertusgeert 1]

HAHAHA

Sorry bro...I always wondered what would happen if you overcook eggs. Now I won't ever try!



Hope you get the smell out!

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As jy dom is moet jy bloei!

[akjmpplt 0]

Ya know, 8-10 minutes is plenty of time to boil an egg.

I burned some microwave popcorn last week. Trying boiling some water with a bit of lemon juice in it...the wife did that and it defunkedt he microwave nicely...helped the rest of the house smell somewhat better.

You might also get some Ozium. It's an aerosol room de-stinker. The fire department used them in an apartment I had once after the refrigerator cooked off...worked wonders.

Oh yeah, lot's of supermarket sell eggs that are already boiled for you.

SmugMug

[Kris 0]

Sigh...sadly, I can almost top that. This is my story of getting to hear Tori Amos play live tonight.

I got home from Skydive Dallas around 9. On the way home, I stopped at Wal-Mart to pick a few things up, including a small pizza to throw in the oven. Now, since the woman and I moved in here, I've only used the oven's broiler to make some garlic bread.

I pre-heated the oven to 400, then slid the pizza in. When I put the pizza in, I thought it felt hotter than it should but didn't think anything of it.

The directions were to cook it for 16-18 minutes. I went down 10 minutes later to get some ice and the kitchen was full of smoke! I turned off the oven and stupidly opened the oven door. The pizza was fucking incinerated. All that was left was some carbon and a few licks of flame. And I'd just let out the other 99.875% of smoke by opening the damn door.

Now the downstairs of the house is filled with smoke. I somehow found the back door and yanked it open.

The breeze was wrong.

It blew the smoke deeper into the house.

Ya' ever get that sinking feeling right before something bad happens? I did...about 1/1000th of a second before the smoke alarm and house siren went off. So now I rush back into the smoke to find the alarm panel to bypass the smoke detector. Instead of bypassing it, I just killed the noise.

5 mins later as I have fans running, the phone rings. It's the OKC fire dept wanting to know if it's a real emergency. I tell them it isn't and thank them for their concern.

Then my cell phone rings, It's the woman, who's in Dallas at the Tori Amos concert. Apparently, the alarm company also called her mom's house, which got her to freaking, then she calls Dianeme (the aforementioned "the woman") in TX, who then calls me.

I assure her it's all well and good and under control and finally get her to believe me. But I did get to hear Tori singing in the background.

Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and
Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™

[ChasingBlueSky 0]

Must have been a weekend for trying to burn down the house.

After a trip to the Sox game and the casino, we decided to BBQ! Well, the grill couldn't be used since a moma robin decided to nest there. We prepped the steaks and put them in the oven....next thing we know the alarms are going off, the ADT is going off, the dog is running laps around the house and my friend's wife is calling to find out what the hell happend. Apparently someone didn't tell my friend you don't put the steaks on the top rack when using the broil setting. At least we still had charbroiled steaks!

_________________________________________
you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me....
I WILL fly again.....

[elpeludo 0]

What ? Ohh yea!!1 must really stink! at this house; we, myself and runwayangel are in some bit of gaseous trouble. 2 pup's and 2 adult canines.
Gee ? say's she... I gave them ? say's me.. also some can wet food ? "they are "poofin'" I say lettin' loose.. we love our pup's and her old timer's. "that is...... as you all can tell, I am, down stair's on line till the""" gas attack is clear""" . What can I say.
HEY bro? wanna' trade? mikey aka el peludo

[bisqit999 0]

light a match!!

[elpeludo 0]

Hang on now dude! I shall light my match, outside and out of a "back draft vector" ya dig bro... the area is evacuating nicely. Thank god!!!! awaiting your reply, dude. mikee aka: el peludo

[tkhayes 154]

ServPro professional cleaners, they get all that crap out

[mr2mk1g 10]

I put an oven bake garlic bread stick in my microwave oven for 30 minutes one time a few years back. Sadly I hadn’t set the thing to "oven" but to "microwave" and thus 25 minutes later when I returned to my kitchen to retrieve my nice hot garlic bread stick I find the place filled with neon yellowy-green smoke down to my knees! Yes I really do mean neon yellowy-green smoke, seriously!

So I go to the microwave and open the door allowing more thick smoke to literally poor out of it like an Irish waterfall. Take some tongs and retrieve the garlic breadstick which now looks like a cross between some kind of ceramic shuttle nose cone material and something that was retrieved from the depths of the Chernobyl reactor.

I now run outside with it and throw it onto the grass where it makes a sound like breaking glass and continues to sizzle and crack, all the while emitting this scary neon smoke. (It reminded me of the moment in "Time Bandits" when the dwarfs were running round having to pick up chunks of pure evil... but anyway).

The kitchen took a while to clear out of smoke and the smell was there for a day or two. Of more concern was the effect on the grass. A baguette sized hole was burned in the grass (hardly surprising given the heat of the thing). But more troubling was the fact that the grass within a full meter radius of the spot I'd thrown the bread stick turned yellow and slowly died.

I hesitate to think what kind of chemicals and/or radiation that thing must have been chucking out in order to kill grass a full meter away. Shit I actually had to re-turf the area as the grass never re-grew. I think I’m probably going to come down with some kind of Chernobyl style syndrome in a few years and doctors are going to ask me curiously if I’ve ever handled chunks of used reactor rod or fissile material or if I'd ever been near any small nuclear explosions.

This must have been about 8 years ago... I haven't grown an extra finger yet... not yet anyway.

[sunshine 2]

I would love to hear Tori.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[SkymonkeyONE 3]

So, you're saying you burned some eggs?

[SkymonkeyONE 3]

So, Kris, you're saying you burned a pizza? Nice DD by you and Phree the other day too; sorry I missed it. The ringer was off on my phone.

[SkymonkeyONE 3]

So, you're saying you burned some garlic bread?

[mr2mk1g 10]

Not burned dude... nuked... looked like some kinda low density ceramic when I was done with it.

[kelel01 1]

Great story! My dad did something very similar once, only with a pot of boiling oil.

But, 25 minutes will give you WAY overcooked eggs, and the yolks will be green. Boil them for 10 minutes, and the yolks will be fully cooked, but yellow and delicious.

[BillyVance 34]

Dude, that totally sucks! Who knew overboiled and totally burned to a crisp eggs would do that?

I can remember one day back in the mid 70's when I was a little kid and home alone for several hours. It was summer time. I thought I'd burn some newspaper in the fireplace. Well I get the fire going. Then all of a sudden the smoke is pouring out into the living room! Aw shit! I forgot to open the flue door! Too late, too hot to reach in there. I ran to get some water to douse the flames. By then the whole fucking house had smoke. I opened all the doors and windows. The smoke had mostly dissipated by the time my mom got home but there was nothing I could do to hide what had happened. There was smoke damage (not really that bad) just enough to leave a smell and residue on the furniture.

Got grounded for 2 weeks. I was probably 7 or 8 years old.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Kris 0]

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So, Kris, you're saying you burned a pizza? Nice DD by you and Phree the other day too; sorry I missed it. The ringer was off on my phone.

Yeah, I believe your ringer was off...not. I think your hearing is just going in your advanced age. It's okay though, you can make it up to me at the Skyfest Boogie in H-town this summer.
Oh, and I wouldn't say I burnt a pizza....it's more like I tried to make a diamond out of some charcoal and failed....big time.

Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and
Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™

[Feeblemind 1]

LOL great story, unfortunately one I see frequently in my line of work . Get some freebreeze and spray the cloth furniture that got saturate with smoke. Get some carpet freshener and use as directed to get the smell from there, change your A/C filters as well (if you have the disposable kind, and last but not least was any cloths that were exposed.

Also time to bitch at you for a second, why didn't your smoke alarm sound? If it was later and you fell asleep you could be dead now

Fire Safety Tip: Don't fry bacon while naked

[Kramer 0]

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Also time to bitch at you for a second, why didn't your smoke alarm sound? If it was later and you fell asleep you could be dead now

I know! I was so pissed off when I saw how much smoke was in the house and nothing was going off. Like it made me realize if I had just gone to bed or fell asleep in my room, I very well might have died. Freaky shit. I have a smoke alarm in my room though, so that would certainly help; but why there isn't one in the kitchen is beyond me (I never noticed there wasn't one until last night).

The FAKE KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMER!!!!!!!!!

[Feeblemind 1]

Quote

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Also time to bitch at you for a second, why didn't your smoke alarm sound? If it was later and you fell asleep you could be dead now

I know! I was so pissed off when I saw how much smoke was in the house and nothing was going off. Like it made me realize if I had just gone to bed or fell asleep in my room, I very well might have died. Freaky shit. I have a smoke alarm in my room though, so that would certainly help; but why there isn't one in the kitchen is beyond me (I never noticed there wasn't one until last night).

Check the Battery, it's a good practice to change the battery twice a year.

Fire Safety Tip: Don't fry bacon while naked

[skyjules 0]

I almost burnt down my house last year. I was cooking chips in a pot of oil on the stove, i've done this many times before and never had a problem, this time the pot started to smoke so I fanned the smoke away with my hands-bad mistake, poof it went up in flames, really high flames. I eventually put it out with salt, but it was definitely a close call.

***Free bird Forever