The most DISGUSTING thing that's ever happened to you

[ACMESkydiver 0]

I'm trying to come up with it...here's one that's just about right up there at the top.

We have mice, as you know if you read my other post (not thread mind you, because none of you inconsiderate bastards bothered to post to it! ). I was drinking my coffee and swallowed something weird.

It was small and kind of pebble-y. I'm thinking that I swallowed mouse droppings with my coffee.

So I immediately start gagging, but don't throw up, as that wouldn't be prudent at the moment...kids around and all...

Ok, your turn.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[christoofar 0]

My mom has a dry pantry. Somewhere around junior high my parents had reorganized the dry goods pantry and moved the onion box somewhere where it was less visible and could never find them. So, she bought more and started keeping those in the fridge, and forgot about the ones in the pantry for several months.

So we clean out the pantry one day and she leaves that chore to me after she opens the lid to to the box and screams.


All I can say is one word: maggots.

____________________________________________________________
I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle.

[johnnyboydan 0]

Are you kidding, I spent 22 yaers in the USArmy Special Forces and if I told you some of the retarded gross stuff we did to out do each other at times; they would put me in the funny farm. My girl friend says I'm very twisted just with what comes out of my mouth at times (and ass). My old SF nickname was dirty dick dan go figure.

johnnyboy

[huka551 0]

When I was in elementary school, I was in the school band, at the winter concert. Nervous and excited waiting for the curtain to open...the boy sitting next to me (annoying, obnoxious turd) decided to show me his latest prize, he held his hand out in front of my face and there was a GIANT blood streaked blob of slimmy green boog/snot in his hand! Then he proceded to eat it like a raw oyster! I nearly lost it right there as the curtain opened!!!

Muff Brother 3723

[Douva 0]

My dad was driving me from Austin to Dallas so that I could catch a flight to Europe (cheaper to fly out of DFW). We stopped at a Luby's along the way for lunch. We ate, used the restroom, and got right back on the road. After a few minutes, we both started accusing each other of breaking wind. After each vehemently denying being the culprit, we checked our shoes. Lo and behold, I had somehow managed to step in a pile of human feces back in the Luby's restroom. It was now all over my shoe and the floor mat. My dad whipped the car off the road, and we proceeded to use all of the disinfecting hand gel and shower wipes (like really heavy duty baby wipes) I had packed for a month in Europe, cleaning up the pile of mystery shit. We then stopped at the next grocery store to thoroughly wash our hands and replenish my inventory of supplies.

I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

[Frenchy68 0]

Ask VanillaSkyGirl. I was in her dream once. It was pretty disgusting. I think.

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[adamjenner 0]

the other night at work i was unwrapping a pallet and for what reason god only knows there was shit smeared all over the plastic wrap.

i think you all know what happened next. hand RIGHt in it. i think it was cow crap or something. all i know is it smelt and it was terrible and i got to go home

[NWFlyer 2]

There was this one time I put these weird goggles on ... ewww.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[windcatcher 0]

Growing up, we couldn't always afford groceries, so we'd get food from the food pantry/food bank. I remember checking boxes of food for moths and other insects, cause when I was eating some kind of cereal, I noticed a moth in my bowl. I'm sure that's not bad, but still, I get paranoid about opened boxes of cereal from time to time.

Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...

[livendive 8]

I imagine that getting sprayed in the face by a puking tandem student ranks right up there.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Amanda965 0]

A pantry one came to mind for me as well-
growing up, my sis and I would always eat one poptart, then put the other one back in the box in the wrapper to eat later. In the middle of summer, I opened up the box and got a leftover poptart out. Halfway through the poptart, I looked down to see hundreds of ants crawling all over it! I had eaten half the poptart without noticing it was overtaken by ants!

Blue skies and SAFE landings!
~Amanda~

[Amanda965 0]

An elementary school story comes to mind as well...

In thr 4th grade, our teacher would read aloud right before lunch each day. Right before read aloud, Chad, who sat right in front of me, asked to go to the bathroom. He was gone for awhile and our teacher had started reading right as he came back.

As he sat down, not only did I notice one of the most awful smells, but I saw brown smeared all over the butt of his black jeans. No one else in the class seemed to notice it and I was too shy to say anything, so I miserably waited until our teacher excused the class to get ready for lunch.

I told the class loud mouth on the way to the restroom and he blurted out to the teacher when we all returned, "Mrs. Jantz, Chad has dookie all over his seat." Poor boy had to sit in the nurses office all day because his mom couldn't bring him a change of clothes. I still feel bad for him!

Blue skies and SAFE landings!
~Amanda~

[TrophyHusband 0]

a "friend" had a girl lose her bowels during reverse cowgirl anal.

"Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama
www.kjandmegan.com

[turtlespeed 212]

well - one time - in florida -





I got married.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Quote

a "friend" had a girl lose her bowels during reverse cowgirl anal.

?? I am not sexually enlightened...WTH is that?

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

Quote

Ask VanillaSkyGirl. I was in her dream once. It was pretty disgusting. I think.

BLAAAAAH!!!!! Yes, you were so gross in my dream nightmare.

(Sorry Nicky!)

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Quote

Are you kidding, I spent 22 yaers in the USArmy Special Forces and if I told you some of the retarded gross stuff we did to out do each other at times; they would put me in the funny farm. My girl friend says I'm very twisted just with what comes out of my mouth at times (and ass). My old SF nickname was dirty dick dan go figure.

My husband quit telling me about his nastiness in the Army after a while...after the five hundredth time of me saying, "That's...just...f*cking...wrong! "

He got the hint.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[wildcard451 0]

I've been shit on, pissed on, puked on, and once, in a psych hospital, I got a handful of jizz chucked in my general direction. That dude was seriously scarred.

[Dagny 0]

I was helping my friend out with her two toddlers one night. They were sharing a bath while I was cleaning up. I heard gagging coming from the bathroom and ran in there thinking one of the kids was trying to drown. What I found was one kid violently gagging while pointing at poop in the tub. Seems the younger one had...well, you know. I get the kids out of the tub when the older one finally vomits all over the floor. My quite pregnant friend comes waddling downstairs just in time to view the growing mess and proceeds to vomit in unison with her kid. I sent the whole lot of them back upstairs while I cleaned up the mess. THAT was disgusting, both to see and clean up!

Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic.
-Salvador Dali

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Quote

I've been shit on, pissed on, puked on, and once, in a psych hospital, I got a handful of jizz chucked in my general direction. That dude was seriously scarred.

OMG...I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[JakGramley 2]

At one point in my life I was a farmer in N. Wisconsin. It was a small dairy farm. Each morning I would get up at 4:00 am to milk the cows. In the winter, the cows were kept in the barn all night, sleeping on cement covered with straw. Most times they would poop while still laying down, getting it all over their butts and tails. One morning I was especially sleepy while milking one of our holsteins. Just as I decided to yawn, the cow decided to swat my face with her tail. Got a mouth full and decided farming wasn't for me. I still think the bitch did it on purpose!

Jack Gramley
Computer Consultant

[huka551 0]

What job do you have that all those lovely things happened to you? If your a parent then all but the jizz I would understand. I'm a nurses aide and a mom, so yeah...puke, piss, shit, snot, it all gets on you sooner or later. And the jizz...well

Muff Brother 3723

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Quote

I was helping my friend out with her two toddlers one night. They were sharing a bath while I was cleaning up. I heard gagging coming from the bathroom and ran in there thinking one of the kids was trying to drown. What I found was one kid violently gagging while pointing at poop in the tub. Seems the younger one had...well, you know. I get the kids out of the tub when the older one finally vomits all over the floor. My quite pregnant friend comes waddling downstairs just in time to view the growing mess and proceeds to vomit in unison with her kid. I sent the whole lot of them back upstairs while I cleaned up the mess. THAT was disgusting, both to see and clean up!

-Not to be really gross, but that happened at least once a month for about a year to me...

Twins didn't have any bowel control while in water for quite some time. Yeah, that was bad.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Muenkel 0]

I went into a Subway sandwich store with a buddy of mine. There were two girls working the counter alternating with the customers. One of the girls had a huge booger hanging out of her nose. It didn't take me long to figure out that my placement on line would mean booger girl would be preparing my sandwich. As it was getting close, the girl wiped her nose with her hand and did not proceed to wash it. She then turned to me and asked what I wanted. Thinking quick, I replied that I had not yet made up my mind and she should help the next customer which was my buddy. I never did tell him...I was being nice.

_________________________________________
Chris

[tbrown 26]

Back in my college days, I had a summer job with the town Sewer Dept. Sanitary sewers, not storm sewers (that was the Highway Dept's affair). Worked at the sewage treatment plant, which was a mostly pleasant combination of painting, mowing the lawn on a Deere tractor and smoking a lot of, well, you know...

Then came the day when the big rotating blades in the primary settling tank got stuck in so much shit they stopped turning. Had to be fixed, so we drained away the water, laid down a cover of powdered chlorine, put on the waders and in we went, tying ropes to the blades and tugging until we freed the thing up. Thank God nobody lost their balance or fell over.

Mostly it's just a matter of attitude though, because the funniest part was watching my brother throw up over the side when he showed up with the clean change of clothes I'd phoned home for.

The only thing that ever undid me was when I shovelled out a blockage in a sewer line. After a while, shit sort of turns gray and doesn't really have much of a smell to it. But I scooped up a shovel full and saw CORN in it. That's the time I puked.

The following summer I managed to get a job with the Highway Dept. I liked concrete and asphalt better.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !