In case of my death

[airtwardo 6]

Sling shots!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[hisgoofyness 0]

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Sling shots!

What good is a sling shot that only shoots small pebbles?

Goudha is for Buddha, and that's good enough for me!

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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Now, I have a question. Who has the rights (for lack of a better word?) to carry out what method (creamation, burial) to do? Is it your parents or sppouse?

Your spouse will always have first priority unless you somehow specify otherwise.

I have been in the business of both insuring life and burial/cremation as an agent and administrative assistant. It is nothing I would ever choose to do again. Believe it or not, working in an office in a trailer in a graveyard next to a servicing crematorium with a bi-polar, diabetic, alcoholic boss that is 6', 300+ pounds, drinking crown royal all day (bottle is in the fridge, next to the diet coke), and prone to violent rage attacks is kind of nerve-wracking.

Damn the things we will do for money when we need it...

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

One thing I'm doing...and maybe something others here may need to consider: no matter what happens to the body, I will have a headstone somewhere.

I had a hard time dealing with some losses of family that 'didn't want anything' for funerals or arrangements. Having a place to go to grieve and feel that it is an appropriate place would have been easier. I will give that to my children.

I know that the place shouldn't make a difference...and any church, seaside, or quiet corner should do, but somehow it just didn't feel right to not be able to mourn my family like I needed to without a 'place' dedicated to their memory other than a fireplace mantel or a picture or something.

Again, being in the funeral business for thankfully a very short time, and going to so many funerals growing up and as an adult, I have become accutely aware of a need for surviving family and friends to gather, remember, and have a place to feel safe with those private feelings at a later time.

Just a thought.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[kbordson 8]

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One thing I'm doing...and maybe something others here may need to consider: no matter what happens to the body, I will have a headstone somewhere.

I don't.

I want all useable organs/tissue donated. Remains then creamated. A portion to be place on an existing gravesite, the rest.... hell, I don't care. I don't know that I need an ash dive or anything like that. Maybe just scatter them somewhere nice (and with the ashes of my kitties). I would like a tree planted somewhere for me though. Or a shrub (not too big or expensive.... Roger the Shrubber should be able to arrange, design, and sell one) Maybe something nice planted next to my brother and sister in Wisconsin. It's a Catholic gravesite though... so I don't know if the ashes can be scattered there... or if they will burst into little flames. (would be kinda fun to watch that though... like sprinkling little fire crackers)

[Mikki_ZH 0]

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So, I told my daughter this tonight. And I just wanted it out there on a public forum.

I hope your daughter is already 30 and has her own live. Because if not, I'm sure a talk like this from mom to child gives a realy good feeling to her...
If you die, it should be non of your business what someone does with your dead body. It is not your body anymore. You should have no more rights to demand anything because you are out of the game. Your beloved should have the right to deside what to to with your body and how to deal with your death. During your live time you can deside to do what you want. In my opinion, you can be an egositic person during life and even jump of fixed objects like myself. But when you die doing this you are disculfied from live and you loose every right in the world of the living imidiatly.
This is only my opinion of corse.

Michi (#1068)
hsbc/gba/sba
www.swissbaseassociation.ch
www.michibase.ch

[kbordson 8]

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So, I told my daughter this tonight. And I just wanted it out there on a public forum.

I hope your daughter is already 30 and has her own live. Because if not, I'm sure a talk like this from mom to child gives a realy good feeling to her...
If you die, it should be non of your business what someone does with your dead body. It is not your body anymore. You should have no more rights to demand anything because you are out of the game. Your beloved should have the right to deside what to to with your body and how to deal with your death. During your live time you can deside to do what you want. In my opinion, you can be an egositic person during life and even jump of fixed objects like myself. But when you die doing this you are disculfied from live and you loose every right in the world of the living imidiatly.
This is only my opinion of corse.

I have to respectfully DISAGREE. You're saying that if someone has religious beliefs such as donation of organs being a desecration of the body, that they have NO rights to mandate what happens to them after they are dead! If that's is a "no" then where does your point start. You can quibble about the mark all day long, but ultimately, it's still my body... even if I'm not in it anymore. My wishes are still important.


edit to correct spelling

[jtval 0]

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I hope your daughter is already 30 and has her own live. Because if not, I'm sure a talk like this from mom to child gives a realy good feeling to her...

Did you just tell a woman that you hope she's old.


The rest of your reply is nonsense. I agree with your sentiment but if your loved ones know your wishes it can make their life easier in the time of their grieving...or celebrating.

My family would bt happy that I left them final wishes. (which probably add up to "I don't give a shit what you do with my carrying case, it's empty now.)

My photos

My Videos

[dfairleigh11 0]

I've been writing a letter to be read at my memorial service... ...I got the idea after going to many of the memorials for our 10 on 430A, and after reading about the BASE death camp in Twin Falls... ...seems like a good idea to me, to try and explain why I loved jumping, and how it made my life SO much more alive, and also to include instructions on what to do with whatever's left. People who know you can describe you to a point, but it's only us that can describe ourselves exactly as we see ourselves and our world. So if I burn in someday, donate whatever is still usable to somebody else who can use it, incinerate the rest, sunset ash jump me, and then get DRUNK, tell funny stories, and get back to life jumping as best as you can. There. Off the box again...

"We'll start the ass kissing with you"

[jtval 0]

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I've been writing a letter to be read at my memorial service... ...I got the idea after going to many of the memorials for our 10 on 430A, and after reading about the BASE death camp in Twin Falls... ...seems like a good idea to me, to try and explain why I loved jumping, and how it made my life SO much more alive, and also to include instructions on what to do with whatever's left. People who know you can describe you to a point, but it's only us that can describe ourselves exactly as we see ourselves and our world. So if I burn in someday, donate whatever is still usable to somebody else who can use it, incinerate the rest, sunset ash jump me, and then get DRUNK, tell funny stories, and get back to life jumping as best as you can. There. Off the box again...

Just one letter? Is it an "O"? I had to take a guess.
the leter is a cool idea but if someone else is readin your words they may not hit the jokes/sentimnets correctly. How about leaving a dvd?

I'm sure there are a few assholes at you dz who will help you if you don't have the toys to do it yourself.

My photos

My Videos

[happythoughts 0]

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...as long as he ends it with "He left his mark on the world"

That would probably be in poor taste if you go in with nothing out.

Everyone should discuss, with a close friend, the location of a) the toy box and b) any photos that should not be shared with relatives. This friend should remove them from the house with stealth.

I have several ideas on what to do with the corpse.

Hopefully, there would be enough money to buy a bunch of beer for the bar. Then, when everyone was drunk enough, go into town and start a fight at the Crystal, and leave my corpse in the parking lot.
This would give the police something to ponder.

Or, suit me up and AFF me out the door. An ash dive is ok, but this seems more participatory. Dump me out and watch me head towards Lakeland.

[happythoughts 0]

If you leave me "the hat" and "the elephant", I'll wear them to the wake.

[Jumpervint 0]

I find it amusing that you and Dave think there might be 'good stuff' left to use.

Vint

. . . . .
"Make it hard again." Doc Ed

“A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free” Nikos Kazantzakis

[Andy9o8 0]

Funeral instructions CAN be included in your will, but that's not the only way you can do it. What people often don't realize is that you can have a "funeral instructions" document that is separate from your will. In fact, I recommend that for my own clients when I draw up their Will, etc. Why? A very practical reason: in the real world, it's fairly common for a person's will to not be read until after the funeral - and, of course, by that time, it's too late, because what's done is pretty much done. (Especially if you cremate Grandma and THEN read in her Will that she wanted her body left to the University. D'oh!!)

If you draw up your funeral instructions, make sure someone close to you knows where they are, and that they should be read before your funeral (duh). And you can do it yourself. No magical words or formula are needed. Just make your instructions clear, direct and un-ambiguous.

Not sure whether to draw up funeral instructions? Here's what I tell my clients: if you're certain you know what your family would do by default (example: Catholic family - standard Catholic funeral), and that's fine with you, then there's really no need for "instructions" that will only be redundant. But if you want to be certain you're given that ash dive, just "telling your family" isn't enough to assure it will happen, especially if they'd otherwise prefer to just plant you the traditional way - write it down, and sign it.


Also, a quick vocab FYI - a "will" and a "living will" are 2 different things. A Living Will is that document you sign in which you tell your relatives and doctors to "pull the plug" if you're brain dead, or permanently comatose, etc. It's also known as a "health care proxy"; "advance health care directive"; "medical power of attorney", etc. It's only valid as long as you're alive. Once you're dead, the subject matter of the document (that would be you) no longer exists.

By the way, another FYI - ANY kind of "power of attorney" is only valid so long as the person granting the power is alive. It has absolutely no force or effect once the person dies.

On the other hand, a Last Will and Testament ("a Will") only is effective once the person dies. It has absolutely no force, effect, persuasive influence in court, etc. while the person is still alive.

[Conundrum 1]

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I hope your daughter is already 30 and has her own live. Because if not, I'm sure a talk like this from mom to child gives a realy good feeling to her...
If you die, it should be non of your business what someone does with your dead body. It is not your body anymore. You should have no more rights to demand anything because you are out of the game. Your beloved should have the right to deside what to to with your body and how to deal with your death. During your live time you can deside to do what you want. In my opinion, you can be an egositic person during life and even jump of fixed objects like myself. But when you die doing this you are disculfied from live and you loose every right in the world of the living imidiatly.
This is only my opinion of corse.

You're entitled to your opinion, but I think what you said in the above is ridiculous.

I suppose when your mother dies (or if she is already dead) that you don't/didn't give two shits about what she wanted to happen with her body and you just will do/did whatever you want(ed)?

[skybeergodd 0]

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It's a Catholic gravesite though... so I don't know if the ashes can be scattered there... or if they will burst into little flames. (would be kinda fun to watch that though... like sprinkling little fire crackers)

Good news for you....the Vatican have relented on it's stance against cremation. You can now burn your mortal body without burning your immortal soul according to Pope Benedict( I mean really...how can Germans ever be opposed to cremation)

[sartre 0]

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[
I hope your daughter is already 30 and has her own live. Because if not, I'm sure a talk like this from mom to child gives a realy good feeling to her...

Well, I think it would be a bit silly to pretend that people don't die. You'll have to trust me that the conversation was in no way maudlin or upsetting to her. If I were on death's doorstep, it might be a bit more difficult to discuss.

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when you die, it should be non of your business what someone does with your dead body.

And I thought I'd made it clear that though I DON'T care what is done, I've seen cases where it's just been easier for the family not to have to make those decisions for themselves.

Not sure how that makes me egotistical, but you are entitled to your opinion.

PS I read her your reply. Her response? "Well, of course, I'd rather you didn't die. But everybody dies, and I'd rather know what you want than to be sitting there saying, 'Well, jeez, I don't know what to do.'" She made my point for me.


edited for typos

[virgin-burner 1]

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It's a Catholic gravesite though... so I don't know if the ashes can be scattered there... or if they will burst into little flames. (would be kinda fun to watch that though... like sprinkling little fire crackers)

Good news for you....the Vatican have relented on it's stance against cremation. You can now burn your mortal body without burning your immortal soul according to Pope Benedict( I mean really...how can Germans ever be opposed to cremation)

that is about the most inappropriate comment i've ever read.. i'm no german, i dont even like 'em that much. this is like sayin', uh, how can americans be pissed off when some jackasses get their buildings to crash.. dumbass!

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Muenkel 0]

FYI, I am German; but that's not what I want to mention here. Just want to make a correction regarding Catholicism and cremation. It is OK for Catholics to be cremated with the only stipulation that the ashes are buried, not scattered, in consecrated ground.

_________________________________________
Chris

[Muenkel 0]

Having lost my lifelong best friend just a few weeks ago, I learned something that never occurred to me before.

While everyone may have their own wishes as what they want their loved ones to do with their remains, I would strongly suggest discussing this with your loved ones. They are the ones who are grieving and will carry the ache in their heart. The survivors need closure and that can be gotten in so many different ways, but if we dictate to them what we want done; it may not be the way they want it done: resulting in more grief and less closure.

I had to see my friend in his casket. That may sound morbid, but I truly needed it. If he had chosen a quick cremation, I think it would have been a lot tougher for me and possibly his family.

Just a thought from someone still reeling in grief.

_________________________________________
Chris

[virgin-burner 1]

check out skybeergolds comment then, dont pick on me..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Muenkel 0]

My apologies. I made the mistake of replying to the previous post, which was yours.

The German comment was for you though.

_________________________________________
Chris

[sartre 0]

Discussing it with my daughter was the catalyst for this thread. As I said initially, I've always subscribed to the theory that it's up to those left behind as to what they want to do. As some have mentioned, I'm not going to be around, and funerals and memorial services are for those left behind. Whatever makes them feel better.

However, in the event that they'd like specific instructions, I've let it be known what I think would be cool. I've also let it be known that what's the most important is what my daughter feels in her heart she needs/wants to do.

I don't know what exactly happens to us when we go*, but I'm pretty damn sure I won't care what happens to the remains of my body afterwards.
My family (such as it is) knows me well enough to know that I'd go with the flow, and have no desire to control things once I'm gone from this earth.

*this is not an invitation for a religious debate. Please take that to Speaker's Corner ya'll.

[karenmeal 0]

I've always thought that I wanted to be cremated and then have my ashes spread somewhere.. but you make a really good point about seeing the body. I really feel like with the caravan crash, it would have been helpful to have that to be able to accept it. Unfortunately that wasn't even an option in that case.

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[BillyVance 34]

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I've always thought that I wanted to be cremated and then have my ashes spread somewhere.. but you make a really good point about seeing the body. I really feel like with the caravan crash, it would have been helpful to have that to be able to accept it. Unfortunately that wasn't even an option in that case.

Yeah, there's just no way to present the upper body and head to make it look like they're sleeping when the injuries were too disfiguring. I have been to a few closed casket funerals, but I was also surprised to see an open casket funeral for a skydiver who went in because he pulled low and had a malfunction that he didn't have enough time to deal with. That was 11 years ago though.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban