WOW, the shit doesn't stop! Add me to the D List :-(

[ladyskydiver 0]

Sorry to hear. My best to you.

Go talk to a lawyer ASAP.

Don't quit school...you'll regret it.

Make it as painless for your kids as possible. They're going to be going through hell wondering why mom and dad aren't together any more and wondering if they're the reason. Do your best to reassure them that mom and dad both love them just can't be together any more. Don't put your kids in the middle.

And, talk to someone for yourself as your going to go through a lot of ups/downs while this is going on and for awhile afterwards.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[LOSTandCRAZY 0]

Dickwad, maybe, but I've been through it TWICE. So that makes me an EXPERIENCED dickwad, as well.

No offense to the ladies, at all, none was intended, either.

However, listen to the attorney, and protect yourself. Go talk to an attorney NOW. (THAT was my point).

Because you can BET she's doing that, probably already has.

"Get these balls!"

[Cashmanimal 0]

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This is wild! I am actually happier having posted this because the replies are freaking great. Some supportive others saying it will be ok and you, well pretty much say to reduce her down to burger flipping.

I do not care about stuff! It can be replaced with newer stuff. I want my kids to love both my wife and I. As long as we can do this without getting nasty, I will do everything I can. I do not HATE her. It is what it is. I just get stressed out sometimes and I do not want that stress to cause me to act stupid or say something stupid.

LostAndCrazy,

It sounds like you had a really rough divorce! How long ago was it?

Anyways, I really appreciate all the people on here taking time out of their busy day to help me out!

My dad cheated on my mom, and they tried to make the transition as smooth as possible for me i.e. not traumatic and whatever.

The truth will come out. It did when I was in 7th grade and my new stepmother turned out to be the girl my dad was fucking behind my mom's back. It took about 2.5 seconds for all respect and love I had for my father since the divorce (6 years earlier) to completely disappear. I have had an absolutely terrible relationship with my dad since then, and feel that the better majority of my childhood was based off and around a lie.

What came out of it? My mom and I lived poor as hell for many years. She had been screwed out of going to school so she couldn't get a very high paying job, and I spent most of my time raising myself.

My advice as a 21 year old used-to-be-one-of-those-kids: if she really was screwing some other guy and you are up for the challenge of raising the kids, get custody, take all her shit, take all her money, and if it really is possible to get the other guy's money, do that too. Not that money will make things better for you, but the world is full of materialistic people and if these two people are low enough to consciously fuck each other while a marriage tries to go on somewhere in the background, then I would be willing to bet not having very much money for a while would be a nice little jab in their side every time they write a check in your name.

Plus, stuff is cool. -shrug-

Seriously though, I look back on the situation now and wish my parents had just come clean right away (or in your case as soon as they are old enough to understand it). At least then I wouldn't have wasted my time and love on someone who didn't truly deserve it.

She sounds like she doesn't really care. It sounds too easy for her. Don't sign all your shit over to her too, especially if you're not even out of school yet. Keep and gain everything while you can, don't let her needy vagina sit on top of the totem pole. Or some other guy's totem pole, while they drive around in your car spending your money on everything but your kids.

Now I am sounding materialistic.... if you take anything from my post, let it be the point that I WAS what your kids are about to be..... and I would rather have my cheating dad out of my life and a stable home than a lying sack of shit i visited once a month while my mom and I ate the free samples at Costco for dinner three nights a week.

It's all fun and until someone loses an eye... then it's just a game to find the eye

[LOSTandCRAZY 0]

Looks like the "Aye"s have it.

"Get these balls!"

[Squeak 17]

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Dickwad, maybe, but I've been through it TWICE. So that makes me an EXPERIENCED dickwad, as well.

.

Hmm anyone else NOT surprised

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[cocheese 0]

Dude, you're just one slip away from being in this situation so shut the fuck up.

[Squeak 17]

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Dude, you're just one slip away from being in this situation so shut the fuck up.

as usual you haver no clue and are just dribbling crap, wipe your mouth

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[cocheese 0]

So you're not really married are ya?

[shropshire 0]

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Dickwad, maybe, but I've been through it TWICE. So that makes me an EXPERIENCED dickwad, as well.

.

Hmm anyone else NOT surprised

So...um what's the common denominator?

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[LOSTandCRAZY 0]

LOL, I think the fact that I'm jaded is the RESULT, not the cause.....

Still get the attorney, and do your thing.

"Get these balls!"

[shropshire 0]

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[RhondaLea 3]

Funny thing about divorce. No matter who's advocating for it, (normal) men get sentimental and women become pragmatic.

See a lawyer, preferably one with an interest in divorce mediation. You don't have to be a vengeful prick, but you did make a contribution to the marriage, and you do not deserve to walk away with nothing.

The welfare of your children is of paramount importance, but your life isn't over, and you're as entitled to a life as your wife is.

Good luck.

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[turtlespeed 212]

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So . . . blah blah blah . . . What now?

Fuck Her! Go O.J. On her ass!

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[guppie01 0]

Shit stirrer!

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[turtlespeed 212]

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Shit stirrer!

g

You say that like you think I'm kidding.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[lawrocket 3]

It's interesting seeing the posts on here that run the gamut of the various coping mechanisms that people have for traumatic events such as this.

Right now, sir, you should visit a lolcal attorney to be advised as to your rights and obligations.

Next - understand that you are in your own coping process with this. Your wife, having made her decision, seems already to be further along in the process than you are.

Above all, keep mindful of your kids. As a rule, kids are extremely perceptive. They will know something is up, and you BOTH owe it to them to be honest with them about what is about to happen.

Don't lie to them. Don't avoid it with them. Be respectful of them. The kids deserve it.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[turtlespeed 212]

Quote

It's interesting seeing the posts on here that run the gamut of the various coping mechanisms that people have for traumatic events such as this.

Right now, sir, you should visit a lolcal attorney to be advised as to your rights and obligations.

Next - understand that you are in your own coping process with this. Your wife, having made her decision, seems already to be further along in the process than you are.

Above all, keep mindful of your kids. As a rule, kids are extremely perceptive. They will know something is up, and you BOTH owe it to them to be honest with them about what is about to happen.

Don't lie to them. Don't avoid it with them. Be respectful of them. The kids deserve it.

Fine Fine Fine, yeah - you are correct about all that stuff, but when he's done with all that . . . THEN can he go all O.J. on her?

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[piratemike 0]

Wow, I'm really sorry to hear this.

You've got a fight in front of you.

My suggestion is to get out as quickly as you can.
Even if you are able to "work it out", it will only be a temporary thing. You'll find yourself in the same situation in a few months or years from now.

She was happy to have a non-"normal" family while she went to school, where you supported her. Now, she is unwilling to allow the support to flow the other direction. Best not to dwell on it though, it's just going to make you bitter.

Get the best lawyer(s) you can. Pay for them with credit if you have to. It will pay off in the long run.

Stay in school. You'll be happy that you did later.

This is going to be rough on the kids. When they ask questions about what's going on. Be truthful. Try not to say angry things about their mother to them. They will be able to make their own decision about the mothers character given enough time.

This is very important. Go talk to somebody yourself for your own mental health. If your human, you will most likely need help moving on. You will need help seeing things Objectively.

Also, get out and jump. Don't stop what you love because somebody else is being selfish.

Wishing you the best-

[BillyVance 34]

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So . . . blah blah blah . . . What now?

Fuck Her! Go O.J. On her ass!

Sentimentally, that's what I might do. He supported HER through her college education, so it's only fucking fair that SHE support him through his college education. THEN get the divorce. If she don't want to do that, then sic the divorce lawyer on her and take the lion's share of the assets.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[PeregrineFalcon 0]

Ok, so I looked up "alienation of affection" for Arizona. No, I'm not a lawyer, but I have a search engine. Arizona doesn't have that right anymore. Pity. I would love to see that happen to the douche.

[lawrocket 3]

I do not recommend or condone how any spouse can go OJ on another. I cannot even condone going Lorena Bobbitt on a spouse.

I'm sure at some deeper level, many married people can somewhat understand it. But not condone it.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[flyinhi79 0]

The thought of someone choosing to do such a horrible AND permanent action because that person chose not to be with you "even if they went about it the wrong way" is an absolute assault on our society and those who choose this method should be permanently removed from ALL human contact!

Could you imagine looking at your son or daughter after something like that?

Next, I have received so many kind words and support from people I do not know these past few days that I am literally in disbelief. You people have been so helpful in building my confidence to reestablish self value. These times are definitely difficult and I truly hope that I can look back at them and say, I handled everything with integrity and righteousness!

For the record, I do not hate my wife. I do hope she gets help to give her guidance on handling these destructive patterns. She does have a good heart; she has just made some painful mistakes! The result of course is hurting many people she loves including herself. The reality is her and I will never succeed no matter what were to happen. I have come to terms with this. I will not fight for things! I will not fight for the small amount of money we have in the bank! I will fight for joint custody and appropriate child-support. There are many jobs I can get that will allow me to attend school and pay for my lovely children.

I close friend and mentor told me life is not defined by where you have been, are, or will be, it is how the journey is lived. When I die I want my children to know their father was a man of integrity. I do not need to live off the backs of others including my wife! Her money is hers so long as she supplies her financial responsibilities to our children.

Thanks again for all the kind words,

Dan

[BillyVance 34]

Taking the high road is a rare virtue. Kudos to you. I don't think I could have done it.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[JackC 0]

Like Billy said, kudos for taking the high road. But while you're on that high road, just be aware that her lawyers could well be lining up to hammer you back to the stone age. I would be wise to have an ace in the hole, just in case.

[BillyVance 34]

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Like Billy said, kudos for taking the high road. But while you're on that high road, just be aware that her lawyers could well be lining up to hammer you back to the stone age. I would be wise to have an ace in the hole, just in case.

Absolutely. Maintain the high road, or at least the appearance, so she thinks she's got it made, then when she tries to go after you, hammer her back with your lawyer.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban