popsjumper 2 #1 July 10, 2009 I was reading in a thread that somebody was complaining about a DZ being "cliquey". He only goes to the DZ after hours and apparently doesn't fit in with some of the people he wants to fit in with. I'm having a hard time understanding the after-hours "cliquey" part. I mean, friends like to hang with friends. There's a problem with that? Should I feel like YOU have your own little "clique" going on because you never invite me to your house? Sorry...I don't feel that way. Some people make friends more easily than others. Actually jumping at any DZ helps make new friends. Sitting on the outside and complaining about friends hangin' with friends is not likely to make any of those people your friends. Only coming over at night to get free beers is not going to get you very far towards making friends either. Personally, I think sometimes people use the word clique in a derogatory way to shift blame and mask their own inadequacies in making friends. So....bottom line, I'm having trouble understanding what constitutes a "clique" at the DZ and what doesn't. And, does after-hours count when friends hang with each other...is that a "clique"??? Your thoughts?My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rookie120 0 #2 July 10, 2009 QuoteOnly coming over at night to get free beers is not going to get you very far towards making friends either. Thats half the problem I bet. He comes over to drink and party but never brings any bottles. A case of Sam Adams always gets a smile, warm handshakes and good company for an evening.If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerRoo 0 #3 July 10, 2009 mmmm lets just say, different DZs do have differnent vibes=cliques. I love the farm! (2nd home)!! you guys have a bonfire and well share stuff....all get together at the end of the day and have some fun talkin my home is a bit .. different, we dont get the knowledge of others at the end or really hang out factor (I.C.D#2 VP) ""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RastaRicanAir 0 #4 July 10, 2009 QuoteI was reading in a thread that somebody was complaining about a DZ being "cliquey". ? Are you referring to the "somebody" who refuses to divulge the first or slightest fragment of his or her identity in his or her posts? If so, I must agree with him or her. I'm a proud member of the clique that refuses to hang out with people who don't exist.OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baksteen 84 #5 July 10, 2009 When looking at a clique outside of the DZ contesxt, yes - they definitely do exist. It's not just a matter of 'friends hanging with friends', but doing so by actively excluding others - while not being too proud to accept any beer that passes them. Whether these are the people you actually want to associate with is a different matter. "That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport." ~mom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #6 July 10, 2009 Just as I got my license winter arrived here, so I traveled to different drop zones as I wanted to continue jumping - 126 jumps at 7 different DZs. I never had trouble meeting people, making friends or finding someone to jump with me. I know what you'll say ... I'm a girl, so it's easy - not so!!! I tend to be shy and most say I am unapproachable. To compensate, I make an effort to smile, make eye contact, start a conversation, etc. I understand the concept of "cliques", I've had to deal with it in other aspects of my life, but never since I started skydiving. Some drop zones are friendlier than others (Zhills was most friendly, Perris was least), but in general, it is easy to meet people and make friends ... if you got some basic social skills that is. So, I think you nailed it - blame others for your own inadequacy is what's going on O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #7 July 10, 2009 QuoteA case of Sam Adams always gets a smile, warm handshakes and good company for an evening. But you get so much more with a bottle of RohypnolYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nutz 0 #8 July 10, 2009 Andy - you can't join my clique. Get over it! "Don't! Get! Eliminated!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #9 July 10, 2009 QuoteQuoteA case of Sam Adams always gets a smile, warm handshakes and good company for an evening. But you get so much more with a bottle of Rohypnol I love Roofie Coladas. <3Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeQ.Public 0 #10 July 10, 2009 QuoteQuoteI was reading in a thread that somebody was complaining about a DZ being "cliquey". ? Are you referring to the "somebody" who refuses to divulge the first or slightest fragment of his or her identity in his or her posts? If so, I must agree with him or her. I'm a proud member of the clique that refuses to hang out with people who don't exist. But I do exist, if only in your mind.Very soon, an honest person will not be able to sing the last 2 lines of our National Anthem:::Practice safe dining....use condiments Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #11 July 10, 2009 I think Deedy should make this a clicky. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #12 July 10, 2009 QuoteIt's not just a matter of 'friends hanging with friends', but doing so by actively excluding others - while not being too proud to accept any beer that passes them. OK...I see where you're going, Dennis. OTOH, is it so wrong to want to hang with your friends and only your friends? Say you feel totally at ease with a specific group of people and when someone you don't know is around you don't feel quite so free and easy. You wouldn't want that person around....is that so bad? Must we allow anyone and everyone to hang with that group? I imagine people feel the exclusion and proclaim the "clique" idea. As for the beer...geez, I don't see that offering a beer entitles anyone to anything. Are people trying to buy their way in? Please note that the youngsters and the Beer Rules are not what I'm talking about...that's something different entirely. Now, if I offered you a beer and you responded, in words or actions, with something along the lines of, "Thanks. Now go away." Well, I'd call it a learning session. If that happened more often than not, maybe it's me that smells bad after all.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pilotdave 0 #13 July 10, 2009 QuoteOTOH, is it so wrong to want to hang with your friends and only your friends?... Must we allow anyone and everyone to hang with that group?... Are people trying to buy their way in? Sounds like a clique to me. It's your choice to exclude people that you don't know or whatever. There's not necessarily anything wrong with that. But don't be offended when someone calls your DZ "cliquey" or whatever. Not to say most DZs (or most people) are like that too. Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Heatmiser 0 #14 July 10, 2009 I haven't been around alot, but this is the atmosphere I ran into in Deland. I was alone,(business trip + fun), ended up shooting the shit with a bunch of the instructors, and ended up having dinner with several of them and their SO's in town. Very cool of them. Of course, I bought beer, didn't just drink it, and I had to initiate a conversation or two. The skydivers I know are generally pretty open to new people. What you say is reflective of your knowledge...HOW ya say it is reflective of your experience. Airtwardo Someone's going to be spanked! Hopefully, it will be me. Skymama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baksteen 84 #15 July 10, 2009 I don't think it's as black and white as we make it seem. A clique as I see it is something 'undesirable' from a social point of view. Of course it's allright if you want to sit with your friends, but to simply ignore everyone else in whatever setting you happen to be is IMO just plain ridiculous. Quoteyou feel totally at ease with a specific group of people and when someone you don't know is around you don't feel quite so free and easy. I'm talking about the kind of people who always hang together to the point that a wedding seems not to be about the happy couple, but about the clique standing in a corner (or wherever) drinking the beer and eating the food while at the same time being a completely seperate entity from all the other people present. Frankly, I really don't understand why the people I'm thinking of keep getting invited. QuoteAs for the beer...geez, I don't see that offering a beer entitles anyone to anything. Are people trying to buy their way in? Please note that the youngsters and the Beer Rules are not what I'm talking about...that's something different entirely. I wasn't either. I was thinking of a specific example: When the orchestra I used to be a member of rehearsed in another location then usual, I asked the person who lives across the street from my parents for a ride. Afterwards, being dependent on the guy to get back home I naturally went to stand with him and I offered him a drink for his trouble. Of course I extended the offer to his three friends. No sooner had the beerglass touched the beermat or the guy turned his back on me, closing off the circle without even acknowledging my existence. Even people on the other side of the room were staring at him with their mouths open. By the way, I didn't call that a learning experience, but a 'fuck you asshole - I'll walk home'-experience."That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport." ~mom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rlucus 0 #16 July 10, 2009 Skydivers are a clique Flat Flyers are a clique Free Flyers are a clique DZ Staff are a clique Regulars are a clique All that matters is how open the members are to new members. Some actively search out new members. Some just require that you approach them first. Some will let you in after you have demonstrated some qualifying feature, skill, or feat. Some will almost never allow anyone to join. Now enough talk about cliques... I prefer clits. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seebs112 0 #17 July 10, 2009 Pops can I please be a part of your clique?Is it bad when I am consistently dreaming about skydiving? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
apollard24 0 #18 July 10, 2009 QuotePops can I please be a part of your clique? Me too! I have the perfect pj's to fit in nicelyBreathe out so I can breathe you in... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #19 July 10, 2009 Quote Andy - you can't join my clique. Get over it! Aren't you in "Peanut's Crew"? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #20 July 10, 2009 Quote Skydivers are a clique Flat Flyers are a clique Free Flyers are a clique DZ Staff are a clique Regulars are a clique All that matters is how open the members are to new members. Some actively search out new members. Some just require that you approach them first. Some will let you in after you have demonstrated some qualifying feature, skill, or feat. Some will almost never allow anyone to join. Now enough talk about cliques... I prefer clits. All I can think of right now is "Clicking the Mouse"I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rlucus 0 #21 July 10, 2009 double click on her icon... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #22 July 10, 2009 Quote double click on her icon... That's kinda dirty!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #23 July 10, 2009 I think everyone will see it differently, but in my mind, a "clique" is a group of people who aren't particularly friendly with people outside their group, and not particularly receptive to adding new members to their group. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #24 July 10, 2009 QuoteOTOH, is it so wrong to want to hang with your friends and only your friends? Say you feel totally at ease with a specific group of people and when someone you don't know is around you don't feel quite so free and easy. You wouldn't want that person around....is that so bad? No, that's not bad and you're entitled to hang out with whomever you want. OTOH, inviting someone to join your conversation might bring a whole new friend into your life.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #25 July 10, 2009 Quote No, that's not bad and you're entitled to hang out with whomever you want. So what are the stalking laws for then? I mean - I wanted to hang out with you, I WAS ENTITLED to hang out with you, but NOOOOOO - you went and got a restraining order, didn't you!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
