tigra 0 #126 July 28, 2009 Quote I usually act like a gentleman and pay for the room, the condoms, the lube, and the cab ride back home for her. If she was really nice I would not make her go home. That's a rental, not a date. If you "let" her spend the night, I guess that would make her a rental with "option". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misternatural 0 #127 July 28, 2009 >so skydiving is something you do because you love it whereas skiing/snowboarding is something you do just to get the ladies? ok,clearly you are a troublemaker Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SivaGanesha 2 #128 July 28, 2009 Quote ok,clearly you are a troublemaker Not really--but I AM someone who likes to understand situations. Snowboarding and skydiving would--at first blush--appear to be similar kinds of activities, so it caught my attention to see someone--on a skydiving board--describe an ideal date as involving snowboarding. I felt it worth exploring in a bit more depth what might be involved there. "It's hard to have fun at 4-way unless your whole team gets down to the ground safely to do it again!"--Northern California Skydiving League re USPA Safety Day, March 8, 2014 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #129 July 28, 2009 Quote ok,clearly you are a troublemaker Yeah, I'm sure he's the only one in this thread too. quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misternatural 0 #130 July 28, 2009 I guess when I learn how to ride a skyboard then my life will be complete. I have tried to do the date/ skydive thing a few times...those women who dare to go there somehow disappear after they try it once and decide that it is a little too freaky for them, but with the slopes I have had much better luck. Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #131 July 28, 2009 Quote Mental note: Need to stop at Walmart for: Kiddie pool Econmy sized Alka Seltzer Heat packs What do you plan to do with all that stuff Bolas? Soak your nuts after I kick them in freefall this weekend? O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 2 #132 July 28, 2009 Quote Quote Mental note: Need to stop at Walmart for: Kiddie pool Econmy sized Alka Seltzer Heat packs What do you plan to do with all that stuff Bolas? Soak your nuts after I kick them in freefall this weekend? O Hahah...get him! *Note to self...don't get close to Olympia's legs in freefall. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #133 July 28, 2009 Quote Quote ok,clearly you are a troublemaker Yeah, I'm sure he's the only one in this thread too. Yep ... the only one ... definitely !!! O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #134 July 28, 2009 Its not about feeling "entitled" to anything. Its about basic manners. Do you invite someone to dinner then ask them to stop at the store, pick up the food and cook it? (Actually, I know someone who would but.........) You should be able to do something for another person without making that other person feel obligated. You should also be able to accept a nice gesture without feeling any obligation. A meal or a movie should not be so complicated that a person's dignity is compromised. Personally, I'd rather stay home alone than go out with someone who made me feel like he was buying more than dinner. I've also made it pretty clear that I don't have a problem picking up the tab. But, it comes back to basic manners- if you ask someone out, you should expect to pay. If someone asked me out, I would not expect him to hand me the bill at the end of the meal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #135 July 28, 2009 Quote What do you plan to do with all that stuff Bolas? Soak your nuts after I kick them in freefall this weekend? O A li'l freefall foreplay? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #136 July 28, 2009 Quote Its not about feeling "entitled" to anything. Its about basic manners. Do you invite someone to dinner then ask them to stop at the store, pick up the food and cook it? (Actually, I know someone who would but.........) You should be able to do something for another person without making that other person feel obligated. You should also be able to accept a nice gesture without feeling any obligation. A meal or a movie should not be so complicated that a person's dignity is compromised. Personally, I'd rather stay home alone than go out with someone who made me feel like he was buying more than dinner. I've also made it pretty clear that I don't have a problem picking up the tab. But, it comes back to basic manners- if you ask someone out, you should expect to pay. If someone asked me out, I would not expect him to hand me the bill at the end of the meal. Let me guess ... based on your definition of "manners", when it comes to dating you follow "the rules" as well ... I was horrified when an American friend offered dating advice and explained to me "the rules" (a series of arbitrary, outlandish, insane and dumb set of statements that serve no other purpose than to confuse.) No wonder guys are utterly mystified when they encounter a straight shooter like me – they just don’t know what to do when I say what I mean … O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #137 July 28, 2009 Quote Quote Mental note: Need to stop at Walmart for: Kiddie pool Econmy sized Alka Seltzer Heat packs What do you plan to do with all that stuff Bolas? Soak your nuts after I kick them in freefall this weekend? O I have a few thoughts on what he will use the pool, heat pks and the alka seltzer... It is a red neckBolas style hot tub of course....TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #138 July 28, 2009 Quote Quote Its not about feeling "entitled" to anything. Its about basic manners. Do you invite someone to dinner then ask them to stop at the store, pick up the food and cook it? (Actually, I know someone who would but.........) You should be able to do something for another person without making that other person feel obligated. You should also be able to accept a nice gesture without feeling any obligation. A meal or a movie should not be so complicated that a person's dignity is compromised. Personally, I'd rather stay home alone than go out with someone who made me feel like he was buying more than dinner. I've also made it pretty clear that I don't have a problem picking up the tab. But, it comes back to basic manners- if you ask someone out, you should expect to pay. If someone asked me out, I would not expect him to hand me the bill at the end of the meal. Let me guess ... based on your definition of "manners", when it comes to dating you follow "the rules" as well ... I was horrified when an American friend offered dating advice and explained to me "the rules" (a series of arbitrary, outlandish, insane and dumb set of statements that serve no other purpose than to confuse.) No wonder guys are utterly mystified when they encounter a straight shooter like me – they just don’t know what to do when I say what I mean … O Some call it manners and consideration. Not 'rules'.Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #139 July 28, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Mental note: Need to stop at Walmart for: Kiddie pool Econmy sized Alka Seltzer Heat packs What do you plan to do with all that stuff Bolas? Soak your nuts after I kick them in freefall this weekend? O I have a few thoughts on what he will use the pool, heat pks and the alka seltzer... It is a red neckBolas style hot tub of course.... Xactly, Rednecks would just use beans... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #140 July 28, 2009 Quote Some call it manners and consideration. Not 'rules'. And some think politeness is and will be the death of honesty.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #141 July 28, 2009 QuoteQuote Some call it manners and consideration. Not 'rules'. And some think politeness is and will be the death of honesty. Sad.Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SivaGanesha 2 #142 July 28, 2009 Quote I guess when I learn how to ride a skyboard then my life will be complete. I have tried to do the date/ skydive thing a few times...those women who dare to go there somehow disappear after they try it once and decide that it is a little too freaky for them, but with the slopes I have had much better luck. Maybe in skydiving you need to be an instructor. I can't help but notice that many of the instructors--or non-instructors with similar levels of experience--on my DZ seem to have a lot of success with the ladies with low jump numbers "It's hard to have fun at 4-way unless your whole team gets down to the ground safely to do it again!"--Northern California Skydiving League re USPA Safety Day, March 8, 2014 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #143 July 28, 2009 Quote Quote What do you plan to do with all that stuff Bolas? Soak your nuts after I kick them in freefall this weekend? O A li'l freefall foreplay? If you are into that sort of thing ... sure ... I'll kick you until you're blue in the face ... O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 2 #144 July 29, 2009 Quote Quote Quote What do you plan to do with all that stuff Bolas? Soak your nuts after I kick them in freefall this weekend? O A li'l freefall foreplay? If you are into that sort of thing ... sure ... I'll kick you until you're blue in the face ... O Kick Bolas in the...bollas. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #145 July 29, 2009 Quote Quote Its not about feeling "entitled" to anything. Its about basic manners. Do you invite someone to dinner then ask them to stop at the store, pick up the food and cook it? (Actually, I know someone who would but.........) You should be able to do something for another person without making that other person feel obligated. You should also be able to accept a nice gesture without feeling any obligation. A meal or a movie should not be so complicated that a person's dignity is compromised. Personally, I'd rather stay home alone than go out with someone who made me feel like he was buying more than dinner. I've also made it pretty clear that I don't have a problem picking up the tab. But, it comes back to basic manners- if you ask someone out, you should expect to pay. If someone asked me out, I would not expect him to hand me the bill at the end of the meal. Let me guess ... based on your definition of "manners", when it comes to dating you follow "the rules" as well ... I was horrified when an American friend offered dating advice and explained to me "the rules" (a series of arbitrary, outlandish, insane and dumb set of statements that serve no other purpose than to confuse.) No wonder guys are utterly mystified when they encounter a straight shooter like me – they just don’t know what to do when I say what I mean … O Wow, I didn't get that at all from tigra's response. She sounds like a pretty straight shooter, too, maybe just with a different style. "The Rules" would be all about obligations and attaching very specific meaning to "who pays." Like someone said upthread, it's pretty obvious from an early point in the relationship whether your views on dating and relationships are going to be compatible or not and "who pays" is a part of that. A guy who is offended that I offer to pay is not the right guy for me. A guy who would be offended if I actually do pay for something is not the right guy for me, but hey, he might be just the right guy for some other woman. My boyfriend and I fell pretty naturally into a "he pays for some stuff, I pay for some stuff, we split some stuff" routine at the very beginning of our relationship and it's worked well for us. For bigger-ticket items (like plane tickets) that one or the other of us pays for we may do a little more specific accounting, but for day-to-day stuff like meals or movies, no one's really keeping score, it just all seems to settle out fine and neither of us feels put out or put upon. It works for us."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,476 #146 July 29, 2009 > Do you invite someone to dinner then ask them to stop at the store, > pick up the food and cook it? (Actually, I know someone who would > but.........) Nope! But if someone invited _me_ to dinner I'd ask what I can bring - I would not expect to be "taken care of" (although it would be fine if they wanted to do that.) >You should be able to do something for another person without making >that other person feel obligated. You should also be able to accept a nice >gesture without feeling any obligation. Of course. Appreciating when someone else does something nice for you is fine. _Expecting_ them to do something nice for you, because "well, that's just what they should do" leads to a lot of problems (IMO.) >But, it comes back to basic manners- if you ask someone out, you >should expect to pay. But see, that's not much different than expecting a kiss at the end of the night. Good manners and all; at least, that's how some people see it. Now, that's fine as long as the other person is OK with it. But in both cases (expecting to have your dinner paid for and expecting a little action at the end) it is the expectation that's the problem. Communication beforehand, if it's an issue for you, is much, much better than an unvoiced expectation. IMO of course. When I go out to dinner with someone, generally I try to pay, whether I ask them or they ask me. Often they will try as well, and if we see each other often we'll "trade off" paying. But no matter who asks I don't "expect" to get my dinner paid for (unless they're trying to trade dinner for something of course!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #147 July 29, 2009 What rules exactly? And why make assumptions about someone you've never met? I think my definition of "manners" is a lot more clear than your definition of "dignity." If I invite someone to dinner, I provide a meal. I do it because I want to and not because I expect anything else in return. What's so wrong with expecting other people to do the same? Why twist it into something it isn't? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
headoverheels 292 #148 July 29, 2009 She obviously thinks her shit don't stink, and is a user/manipulator. Better gotten rid of sooner than later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #149 July 29, 2009 See up thread … someone already tried (and failed) to help you understand what is so “undignified” about expecting men to pay for our meals/entertainment/whatever … I’m done beating a dead horse … Note to self – no more opening threads containing personal “hot button” subjects on days when I feel feisty … and consumed an entire can of RedBull ... Looking back, I see where this got derailed: ________________________________________ In Reply To ________________________________________ My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and we split every expense down the middle. He has his money, and I have mine. It does not matter who makes more money than who- you pay for your half, that is your responsibilty. It doesn't matter if it is movie tickets or the rent. At the grocery store we do 2 transcations. For the rent, we each get a money order for our portion. It has been like this from day one, and it will always be like this for us. I won't have it any other way. ________________________________________ Finally ... a woman with some dignity!!! O My emphatic response to “airathanas” was NOT meant to knock down all previous female responses … but I see how/why that was misunderstood that way – please accept my sincere apologies. O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #150 July 29, 2009 QuoteWhat rules exactly? The Rules. I never read this book, but I've heard of it. Seems tiring to me to try to keep up with all "the rules" these authors recommend. From reading your posts, I don't think you're the type of woman who would believe in this type of book.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
