Misternatural

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Gear

  • Main Canopy Size
    168
  • Reserve Canopy Size
    150
  • AAD
    Cypres

Jump Profile

  • Home DZ
    VSA
  • License
    B
  • Licensing Organization
    USPA
  • Number of Jumps
    93
  • Years in Sport
    10
  • First Choice Discipline
    Freeflying
  • First Choice Discipline Jump Total
    45
  • Second Choice Discipline
    Formation Skydiving
  • Second Choice Discipline Jump Total
    19
  1. As your internet troll, I mean... therapist-I tried to get you to explore the expanding of your dating preferences. But as usual my methods have failed and you continue to seek views via misogynistic narcissism. Since I have no work right now and plenty of time to waste I am gong to have to step up the treatments, for those of you reading this, excuse my disgusting analogies, it's part of the procedure. Let's begin by examining your pussy to hand ratio; Using your method of insult then proposition, how often are women letting you touch their pooty tang verses the number of times per week you engage in un-lubricated spontaneous jerking it...are you spanking it more than a monkey? or less? Now lets discuss your relationship with your mother; You said you have to find a woman she approves of, which I surmise means - no drunken skanks. I am afraid that kind of approval seeking will lead to your mother actually standing over you in the bedroom smacking you on the ass with a spatula conducting the rate and depth of porking penetration after you are married- This is not a healthy scenario. So confront your mother about this and then ask her if you were breast fed as a child..just to ease the tension. Now, speaking of pickling peter piper in penelopy's pitstop, What kind of face do you make while you are gettin it on, do you look like you're solving a math problem while constipated? If you don't know, set up a camera and post the footage in the sick and twisted thread so we can zapruder it for you... your face only please. If this line of treatment continues to fail we will have to rush you into a dominatrix clinic to have your cock and balls insulted, or prescribe the butt buddy touch hole training set as a last resort. Have a good weekend and we'll schedule you for another session.
  2. Misternatural

    Bob "Senor" Raecke

    Years ago, I remember that he was making people laugh at a local DZ by going around saying "NOICE!" and "Night-Nude-Downwind-Landings!" in a racetrack announcers voice- which was funny as hell... that and the fact that he showed up in a station wagon with a mannequin skydiver on the roof reinforced my notion as a noob that skydiving has some great characters in it. Sorry for all the peeps who really knew him.
  3. Misternatural

    DZ.commer hit by vehicle

    Yep, and a generous one at that, he recently offered to coach, then pay for my retrain and currency jump just to get me back in the air this year. That is how much he likes the sport, seriously who does that? No word on the snail mail maybe if messaged he will reply, he seemed very coherent on the phone, but I didn't want to keep him on the chatbox too long. Incidentally his cell phone got smashed during the impact but he should be on the keyboard at home tomorrow. Thanks for checking in. Peas. Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  4. Misternatural

    DZ.commer hit by vehicle

    Hi people, I know I don't post much anymore, but our friend Flyinryan86 http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?username=FlyinRyan86;is recovering from a non skydiving related road accident. He is an avid skydiver and in fact recently got his tandem rating. I just got off the phone with him and he is on his way home tomorrow with a broken pelvis, femur, ribs and tissue injury... needless to say he won't be enjoying his favorite sport for a while. The driver of the vehicle unfortunately did not survive. So if some of you could just drop him a kind message of support I'm sure he will appreciate it,I got his OK on this. Thanks in advance much. News story; http://www.benningtonbanner.com/local/ci_18274474
  5. Misternatural

    How much of a turn off is it?

    How long has this discussion of dating preferences gone on with you, three years now? Look man you seem like a nice non violent relatively stable human. One who also applies scientific critical thinking. Remember that we live in an insecurity based society and the majority of people are going to date based on those insecurities to be satisfied by the person that they are with. Sad....but true. So Try this analytical experiment. Casually observe the type of women you desire to date- no, NOT using binoculars OK, just in your travels through the week. Now notice the kind of guys they seem to be fucking and draw a profile based on the MAJORITY of that population sample. Now ask yourself honestly if you are in that league, incomebracket, ethnicity, height/weight, appearance,etc. See what I am doing here, it is the reflection of your screening process, not so much fun when you shine the light of reality on yourself is it? If you don't fit those criteria, then ask yourself what special attribute you might have that they would want. The second set of criteria are breeding/rearing standards, since you are a condom wearing hedonist and don't want kids that eliminates that- No harm no foul there. Now you see you either have to widen your bandwidth of selection or focus heavily on your skills to improve your datability/fuckability quotient with your intended demographic. Also try setting your distance parameter to 500 miles or so, or even to another country. As I told you before, just when you think you've got your parameters figured out someone outside of your bandwidth is going to fry your router and blast your screen. Who knows; That might be a dude, a tranny, a granny, a cougar, a stay at home mom, some kinky leather wearing BDSM librarian... whatever, free your fucking mind. I reached this epiphany when I found myself happily being jumped on by a black woman from a completely different background bouncing her large titties off of my face- after my sight and hearing returned and I was able to form words again I realized that it is an off the rack world and it is not wise to limit your possibilities for true happiness, and some pretty damn good sex. Cheers Zippy. Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  6. Misternatural

    Things I want in a Girl

    this too is sexual Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  7. Misternatural

    Things I want in a guy...

    Given the title there is a kink factor here. Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  8. Misternatural

    Ladies, help increase my life expectancy

    Apparently, just need to move to China http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0fJYYmLflI
  9. Misternatural

    dudeist skydivers association

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWtesJrLSNA&feature=related Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  10. Misternatural

    Woman sets man's crotch on fire

    HAhAhaha WHOA- I never said she was a bad cook, u trying to get my crotch set ablaze? - pan fires happen man. Have a good weekend. Peace up Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  11. Misternatural

    Woman sets man's crotch on fire

    Well congratulations- My unwed woman I am currently fucking sets the kitchen on fire- so ballz to you sir xD Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  12. Misternatural

    Woman sets man's crotch on fire

    hehehehe Yeah, um ok June Cleaver- I think you would wear out a shuffleboard player in about 15 min. Pretty sure the crazies are evenly distributed. Up here they are snowed in right now so they are less active- at least until the Pats play the Jets- then the fucktardedness begins. Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  13. Misternatural

    Woman sets man's crotch on fire

    Well not that I have any experience with burning sensations in the groinal area- um, lately, but at least burns are usually recoverable. His friends did take quick action to get him to roll, it prolly saved his shwanzel. Also look at the career the Bobbits cultivated from their crotch related argument. He will likely go on tour to tell the story and show off the scars on the porn circuit- She will write a screenplay, it will air on TBS. Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  14. Misternatural

    Woman sets man's crotch on fire

    Playing the field? hopefully she did not think that was a treatment for STD's. Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415
  15. Misternatural

    Woman sets man's crotch on fire

    Yep, happens all the time; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUcByYaO4Mo Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415