WTF RU Thinking?! (rant)

[airtwardo 6]

Just got back from the left coast, went out to give my best friend a shoulder to lean on...he just lost his wife of 15 years to breast cancer.

The guy is devastated. . . I have no others words to describe it. I'm helpless in regard to easing his pain and loss.

This was a romance novel type of story book couple, the kind that you run into now and then...and it reminds you of what a relationship is supposed to be like. I've never met two people that got along better or cared about each other more.

She was a real cowgirl, home is a ranch up in the east county hills, kept & trained horses, did rodeos, drove a pick-up...and God could she 'line-dance'.

He's a full blood Apache. . .and yes, Cowboys & Indians do get along.

I can only imagine, and probably don't have a clue of what he must be going through.

Times like this are most certainly stressful, and there really isn't a manual or set of instructions regarding protocol for conduct...It's a crisis for all involved, most people tend to draw close to share support, and just try to 'wing it' together.

'Most' people rules don't apply here...and is the reason for my rant.
I've never seen or heard of such a load of ~ low rent heartless trailer trash no class no clue fucking bullshit, in all my life as I witnessed the past few days.
Basically...3 grown children (hers) from a previous marriage, all in their mid-30's.
In MY book losers, that were seldom if ever heard from during the illness, were literally...PHYSICALLY FIGHTING...in the house over who gets what, and when.

I'm more amazed than shocked, and knowing these 'kids' as I do, guess I shouldn't be surprised.

But DAMN...WTF RU THINKING?

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[LisaH 0]

What a shame.

Warm thoughts that your friend gets through this ok.

Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo

[Heatmiser 0]

Nothing like family tragedy to bring out the looting, er, best in people. Kudos to you for being a friend.

What you say is reflective of your knowledge...HOW ya say it is reflective of your experience. Airtwardo

Someone's going to be spanked! Hopefully, it will be me. Skymama

[Andy9o8 0]

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most people tend to draw close to share support, and just try to 'wing it' together.

'Most' people rules don't apply here...and is the reason for my rant.
I've never seen or heard of such a load of ~ low rent heartless trailer trash no class no clue fucking bullshit, in all my life as I witnessed the past few days.
Basically...3 grown children (hers) from a previous marriage, all in their mid-30's.
In MY book losers, that were seldom if ever heard from during the illness, were literally...PHYSICALLY FIGHTING...in the house over who gets what, and when

I saw something very similar myself recently. Adult siblings who'd just lost their parent, getting into a physical fight with each other a couple days after the death, seemingly over trivial nonsense. On reflection, it was more a combination of "sibling issues" that had been simmering for decades (comprehensible only to them), compounded by extreme stress due to raw grief. Fuel + ignition = explosion. Maybe that was some of what was going on in your friend's step-family, too?

[Nataly 38]

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On reflection, it was more a combination of "sibling issues" that had been simmering for decades (comprehensible only to them), compounded by extreme stress due to raw grief. Fuel + ignition = explosion. Maybe that was some of what was going on in your friend's step-family, too?

Let's hope so.. Otherwise it's pretty terrible..

When we were teenagers, my parents had the serious "if we died" talk with us.. And I nearly lost it when all my sister could talk about for days was how unfair everything was because she wanted this and that and probably it would all go to our brother, blah, blah.. I did think she was being a selfish little brat - even though it was only hypothetical.. I got really angry and snapped and said "it's just STUFF for fuck's sake - don't you think you should care a bit more that our parents just DIED??"

Ok.. We were just kids and she *is* my younger sister.. But somehow I think she would still miss the point if/when my parents really passed away..

Sorry man.. People do funny things when they grieve, but equally, good on you for being a good friend..

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[Andrewwhyte 1]

I was too young to see my father and his sister fighting after my grandmother died but the scars that were leftover were a permanent reminder of how bad an idea that was.

[shropshire 0]

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family


Sounds like your friend choose well but suffered at the hand of DNA

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

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You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family

What's the saying??

"Friends are God's way of making it up to us for our families" ??

Always be kinder than you feel.

[topdocker 0]

I hear it on the low-rent, low-brow, no good kids when a parent dies.

My dad remarried ten years or so, both had older kids. She passed away three years ago just before Christmas, and my stepsister went into my parents house the day my step mom died and basically looted the place!!! She even took the frickin' Christmas tree! Looked like a scene out of "grinch."

Luckily, probate caught up with her and she had to pay my Dad for what she took, and my brother took her to small claims court and won!

Ah, family, these old tales just warm the heart....

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[airtwardo 6]

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most people tend to draw close to share support, and just try to 'wing it' together.

'Most' people rules don't apply here...and is the reason for my rant.
I've never seen or heard of such a load of ~ low rent heartless trailer trash no class no clue fucking bullshit, in all my life as I witnessed the past few days.
Basically...3 grown children (hers) from a previous marriage, all in their mid-30's.
In MY book losers, that were seldom if ever heard from during the illness, were literally...PHYSICALLY FIGHTING...in the house over who gets what, and when

I saw something very similar myself recently. Adult siblings who'd just lost their parent, getting into a physical fight with each other a couple days after the death, seemingly over trivial nonsense. On reflection, it was more a combination of "sibling issues" that had been simmering for decades (comprehensible only to them), compounded by extreme stress due to raw grief. Fuel + ignition = explosion. Maybe that was some of what was going on in your friend's step-family, too?

Like I said, it certainly IS an emotional time, I'm no shrink but we all know people grieve differently...heck, I have seen 'family issues' that were put on hold and people drawn closer at times like this. Not the case here. They're not grieving they're just plain, fucking heartless & greedy.

Enclosed within a sympathy card was a 100 dollar bill, I escorted a supposedly educated 33 year old man outside for a little talk, after he loudly proclaimed a 33, 33, 34 split amongst the kids with he getting the 34.00...another later demanded the keys to Mom's new car, she doesn't need it and it's nicer than mine.

Out of respect I won't go heavy into details, but imagine the most asinine and inappropriate comments one could make during such a tragedy...times it by 3 kids, and continue the dialogue for three days non-stop and you'll still only have a partial insight as to the twilight zone I endured...it just went on and on.

My friend, lost in his despair could only look embarrassed, he's exhausted from dealing with everything that last six months, and these assholes not only blatantly try to walk all over him, but IMO apparently feel an obligation to sarcastically humiliate anyone offering him concern and condolences. . .rude comments to friends and associates calling and dropping by were common place.

I'm still shaking my head, how this worthless trash came from such a wonderful woman is totally beyond my understanding.


The more I look back today, the more I realize the insanity of the situation...Thanks for lettin' me rant guys, this has been eating at me since I left there.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[futuredivot 0]

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Thanks for lettin' me rant guys, this has been eating at me since I left there

You know people that are willing to head back out there with you and host a little "come to Jesus" meeting-A good ass whooping goes a long way. Shit, I've never been locked up west of Colorado anyway

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[airtwardo 6]

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Thanks for lettin' me rant guys, this has been eating at me since I left there

You know people that are willing to head back out there with you and host a little "come to Jesus" meeting-A good ass whooping goes a long way. Shit, I've never been locked up west of Colorado anyway

It would be a waste of time and effort, even fantasizing gives them more value and recognition than their miserable lives deserve...I'm content in the knowledge karmic retribution inevitably wins out. The worst thing ya can do to people like that, is let 'em carry on.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[wmw999 2,150]

You should invite your friend back home for a nice long visit. Rent the house to someone with a large, fierce Rottweiler.

Sounds like the stepkids really suck.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[airtwardo 6]

You should invite your friend back home for a nice long visit.

I did... he'll be down to make his tandem in January, and no I didn't offer to take him ~ HE ASKED!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[JohnMitchell 14]

Sorry about what your friend is going through. To lose his wife and now this. Thanks for being the great friend to him that you are.

Did she leave a will? If so, that will distribute her belongings according to her last wishes. If not, doesn't all her property become his? Sounds like he should change the locks, chain the garage, and tell those kids to go to hell.

[airtwardo 6]

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Sorry about what your friend is going through. To lose his wife and now this. Thanks for being the great friend to him that you are.

Did she leave a will? If so, that will distribute her belongings according to her last wishes. If not, doesn't all her property become his? Sounds like he should change the locks, chain the garage, and tell those kids to go to hell.

Not my place to inquire, but this 'was' an older couple, both very intelligent people with professional careers, enjoying what one might characterized as a very comfortable & affluent life. The estate is considerable and I have no doubt everyone will be taken care of beyond expectation...most certainly beyond what's deserved.

I guess people have differing priorities, maybe I value less tangible things more than some do.

I know I'm not alone though and I know why my friend of 30 years and I are so tight.

I completely understood when he told me last Saturday that he'd give it ALL away and live under a bridge, for one more week with her.

They were a class act and something very special, stuff is just stuff, it's is obtainable and replaceable...it's inconceivable to me, any family members anywhere believing what they stand to gain, in any way nears the value of what they've lost.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Krip 2]

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Thanks for lettin' me rant guys, this has been eating at me since I left there

You know people that are willing to head back out there with you and host a little "come to Jesus" meeting-A good ass whooping goes a long way. Shit, I've never been locked up west of Colorado anyway

It would be a waste of time and effort, even fantasizing gives them more value and recognition than their miserable lives deserve...I'm content in the knowledge karmic retribution inevitably wins out. The worst thing ya can do to people like that, is let 'em carry on.

Karma gotta love it
What ever the greedy vulture bottom feeders get from their moms estate, it won't be enough to allow them to live in the life style they think they deserve.

I'm guessing they'll go on a spending spree and with the advantage of leverage. Then go bankrupt in a couple of years.

One Jump Wonder

[wolfriverjoe 1,353]

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I guess people have differing priorities, maybe I value less tangible things more than some do.

I know I'm not alone though and I know why my friend of 30 years and I are so tight.

I completely understood when he told me last Saturday that he'd give it ALL away and live under a bridge, for one more week with her.

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Well, it sounds to me like you and your friend have your priorities right.

And it sounds like her kids have no fucking clue at all as to what's important.

They say that stress will bring out our true selves.

I wonder if the kids have any clue how cruel and insensitive their behavior was, and if they will feel any remorse.

Their loss if they don't.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[Chiquita 12]

Sory for your friend's loss and for the way her kids are behaving. It is unbelievable how some people act.

I have a friend that is paralized from the waist down and a few months before her mom passed (unexpectedly) she had co-signed on a loan so my friend could get a car with hand controls. Well apparently they had insurance on the loan so when she passed the loan was paid off/discharged. Well, some of her lovely siblings (some natural and some adopted) wanted to take her car (a used cavalier) and sell it and split the money amongst them and then donate their mom's car (an older honda or toyota or something similar) to a needy person. The judge pretty much laughed at them and said no way in hell. On top of that some of them, when they knew my friend wasn't home would come over to the house and search for various items. They even had a physical or nearly physical altercation at one point.

It is ridiculous how people behave when it comes to money and stuff

"Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity"