shah269 0 #1 February 25, 2011 *WARNING* Ladies I'm not going to lie, this thread will offend you and piss you off. I'm not going to apologize for anything said or implied in this thread. If you don't like it, such is life. It is however a peak as to the though processes of one guy and how he views the world and himself. I'm shallow and I'm OK with it. You may argue you are not, but odds are you are lying to appear more civilized or look good in front of your girlfriend/wife/crush. But let's face it we all are shallow. In our own way we are hard wired to know what we like and not like. Even a jellyfish has a good idea as to what turns it on and what does not. And if you think you are in a way more evolved than a jellyfish in that you can overcome your evolutionary drive as to what turns you on or not then I would suggest that perhaps you are kidding yourself. What turns me on may not turn you on and so on. And with that aside here is the issue. I have great fear of perhaps giving up and ending up like my good friend. I'm not ashamed to say it but I am down right scared. I would say almost petrified to the point of freezing. It's all rather disconcerting and unwanted. My good friend is a few years older than me. Makes quite a bit more money than I, is well educated and I'm not ashamed to say it but is much better looking than me. 8 years ago he had a moment. He was dating and had hit a rough patch or something but...he gave up. Compromised and lowered his standards. Married a very lovely 50lbs over wight woman who has a slight food and shopping addiction. 7 years and one kid later.....you can see that look in his eyes. The one that says...."I'm fucked, I want to eat a bullet. Save me." And he is fucked, and no he does not love her. I know the guy. I know what kind of girls he likes and what he's married to is as far away from what he use to date and what he desires as one can get. He has also told me point blank "Brother I have no idea what I'm doing, I am disgusted with who I'm married to." She's happier than a pig is a pool of shit because she landed "the guy" who looks good, makes good money, doesn't argue too much with her shopping addiction and is a great father. Him.....well let's just say the thought of leaving her bovine ass has crossed his mind but the numbers from a potential divorce equate to an early death. It's one thing to be fucked, it's another to be dead. And not all of us are ready for the long awaited dirt nap. Now here are your answers. She was chubby when they met, he knew full well of the potential for growth in her size. He has tried, hell the motherfucker has begged her to go to the gym. He's even hired a personal trainer for her.....all undone by well..3 big macks a day. No he does no love her, the boy works 14 hours a day not because he loves his job but because he really does not want to go home. No she does not give a rats ass. She got what she wanted from the deal she has no reason to even question if anything is wrong. And has him by the balls. Here is my issue. I'm scared out of my fracking mind. And sadly life does not come with an AAD to keep you from becoming fertilizer. I'm a logical person. I have a Six Sigma Black Belt, a solid 3.5GPA in my MBA classes and know how to diversify risk to reduce fear and potential failure. Thus the dating, 4 girls at the moment, at the same time to hedge my best and reduce over all risk. And I CAN'T GET MY FREAKING MIND AROUND THIS ONE! I CAN END UP LIKE THIS GUY! HELP! I DON'T WANT TO END UP WITH A FAT POS SHOE CRAZY BITCH WHO HAS ME BY THE BALLS!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #2 February 25, 2011 Quote And I CAN'T GET MY FREAKING MIND AROUND THIS ONE! I CAN END UP LIKE THIS GUY! HELP! I DON'T WANT TO END UP WITH A FAT POS SHOE CRAZY BITCH WHO HAS ME BY THE BALLS! Well then, by all means, don't get together with one. Here's my tip - look for insecure chicks with daddy issues and eating disorders. The ED doesn't necessarily have to be full-blown when you meet her, but make sure that you comment early on in the relationship on how much she eats on dates, even if it's just a salad. Make sure she knows how important her body is to you by letting her know how hot it is all the time. Problem solved. You're overthinking it, Shah."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #3 February 25, 2011 Only if it were that easy. I'm very serious about that though your response was not.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squirrel 0 #4 February 25, 2011 just end your confusion and come out of the closet. really, ask yourself...have you ever met a poor unhappy gay man? ________________________________ Where is Darwin when you need him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #5 February 25, 2011 Quote just end your confusion and come out of the closet. really, ask yourself...have you ever met a poor unhappy gay man? If I wasn't so addicted to pussy....sure. And FYI gay guys are the best wing men / friends a straight guy can have! I love my gay friends. And I'm sure they will be the ones who if I do "give up" will pull me aside and have a little talk with me. I don't think my straight friends would have the balls or the respect to do the same.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MX304 0 #6 February 25, 2011 I'm with you. The ROI on a relationship is just not worth the risk. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #7 February 25, 2011 QuoteI'm with you. The ROI on a relationship is just not worth the risk. You know.....I would argue that. I was married to a beautiful girl who I loved with ever fiber of my being. She was not only my wife but my friend. She was there when I was strong and there when I was in the hospital. Why we broke up is a personal issue which I don't wish to discuss here but. I'll be honest with you, if I could find another girl like her, smart, beautiful and a total joy to be with...I would take the risk on that investment. But that was different. In a funny way I made less had less knew less but was more self confident. Fear of fucking up was not even a dream then.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davelepka 4 #8 February 25, 2011 QuoteI'm a logical person. I have a Six Sigma Black Belt, a solid 3.5GPA in my MBA classes and know how to diversify risk to reduce fear and potential failure. Thus the dating, 4 girls at the moment, at the same time to hedge my best and reduce over all risk. For a smart guy, you sure act like a dumbass. How about you stop worrying about chicks and relationships and all that crap and just live your life? No offence, but you're like a woman the way you worry about all that shit, and you just need to get over it. It's not rocket science dude, you want to get laid, find a woman who will sleep with you. If you want a relationship, find a woman who wants the same things out of life that you do, and commit. Either way, it's not shopping for a car. You can't just pick out the model you want with the options you want and take her home. It's a process, and you have to just accept that and go with it. Ditch all thses expectaions and worries and just live your life for gods sake. How about you just do whatever makes you happy, and whoever comes along and manages to mesh that will come along? You really need to stop warning the women about these threads, and start warning the guys that you're about to start acting like a pansy again. From the title I thought this thread was going to be about not ending up in the 'friend zone', meaning you're trying to figure out how to part a girl from her pants, not what I came to find out what the thread was really about. This is life, not engineering. Engineer things and work, and leave the engineering there. Live your life like a person, and stop trying to figure out the formula for everything, some thing just don't have a formula or a solution, they just are what they are. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #9 February 25, 2011 QuoteThis is life, not engineering. Engineer things and work, and leave the engineering there. Live your life like a person, and stop trying to figure out the formula for everything, some thing just don't have a formula or a solution, they just are what they are. davelepka Thank you. I'm sorry, I guess living in a world of process flow charts and risk analysis and process driven initiatives and design has permeated into my subconscious. Life isn't a system, there is no equation or trend. I'm going to have to think about this. Thank youLife through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #10 February 25, 2011 Quote Only if it were that easy. I'm very serious about that though your response was not. My response was deadly serious. Given what you value in a partner, that's the surest way to ensure that her body will remain what you want it to throughout the relationship."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Trafficdiver 8 #11 February 25, 2011 Nobody put a gun to your buddies head and forced him to marry this girl. Nobody is going to put one to our head either. Learn from his mistake. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 144 #12 February 25, 2011 Serious reply here. Why don't you relax and separate relationships from sex. You obviously like a certain type of woman, just rent them. Honestly looks is very big part of what you are going for, and as a generalisation "looks oriented" people are going to be shallow. A woman who spends alot of time and money tarting herself up is probably not a nice charactered person (generalisation) so skip the bull and pay per hour. Not everyone has to be married. If an actual relationship is important to you with feelings and character then the whole looks thing needs to fall into the background. My personal opinion (as dictated to me by my wife ) is that often women who are "hot" in the wordly/sexual sense have put alot of energy into looking good, clothing, hair makeup etc. Many very hot women who don't wear makeup, wear comfortable clothes "appear" to be plain Janes in the natural state. I sense that you aren't happy with that and you expect a woman to be tarted up 100% of the time - such women do exist but I think they are pretty shallow with nothing better to do with their time. I am happy that my wife doesn't wear makeup, wear high heels etc. When she does dress up she looks amazing. I don't "need" her to look her best everyday, and frankly if she spent more than 5 minutes on her hair it would drive me up the wall. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thrillstalker 0 #13 February 25, 2011 if you dont want to end up like your friend, make up your mind and don't. it is true what they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, quit trying to find the perfect one and you will see the beauty in the others, and realize there is no such thing as the perfect one."Never grow a wishbone, where your backbone ought to be." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 198 #14 February 25, 2011 Just repeat after me....$200 rule, $200 rule... Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,129 #15 February 25, 2011 That was an absolutely brilliant post. And last I checked (looks down shirt), yup, I'm a woman. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squirrel 0 #16 February 25, 2011 Quote Just repeat after me....$200 rule, $200 rule... and don't forget the 2 for 1 coupon. ________________________________ Where is Darwin when you need him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #17 February 25, 2011 Quote My response was deadly serious. Given what you value in a partner, that's the surest way to ensure that her body will remain what you want it to throughout the relationship. I gave you fare warning this was going to offend you. Look like it or not, a woman can look at a guy and see about a half dozen ways he's attractive. Be it from how he carries himself to how smart he is. And god bless you women for having such a complicated view of men. But well....we guys....we are different. Well I am very different. Looks matter, how she carriers her self matters, health matters. I have never or will I EVER date a girl and have to say "But she is nice" And no only a sucker pays for what they can get for free and what brings dinner over.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #18 February 25, 2011 Quote I gave you fare warning this was going to offend you. Offended? Where'd you get that from? Quote But well....we guys....we are different. Well I am very different. Looks matter, how she carriers her self matters, health matters. I have never or will I EVER date a girl and have to say "But she is nice" And no only a sucker pays for what they can get for free and what brings dinner over. I'm SO glad you corrected yourself there and made sure to point out that all guys are not you, and you do not represent all guys. Otherwise, I was starting to wonder if my boyfriend was really a guy, because by your standards I'm undateable, yet I'm in a drama-free, stable, long-term, loving relationship and ... things that make you go hmm. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squirrel 0 #19 February 25, 2011 this entire thread makes me go "hmmm." ________________________________ Where is Darwin when you need him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #20 February 25, 2011 QuoteQuoteI gave you fare warning this was going to offend you. Offended? Where'd you get that from? From your posts. They were a bit snarkey but that's OK. NO clue about your BF, don't know him. I know my friend is not happy. Heck, some of my girlfriends who have met him and his wife have asked me "Was that an arranged marriage? How did she land him? Poor guy!" Do you know how that feels. slice your hand, and stick it in a sink full of lemon juiceLife through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #21 February 25, 2011 I'm giving you straight-up advice on how to find what you want. No snark. Your friend is unhappy with his choice of a partner. He feels trapped. That sucks for him. But you're trying to generalize that experience to every relationship that involves a woman who is >Size 8 and you can't. Nor can you generalize that all men who have relationships with Size 4 hotties feel happy and fulfilled and not in any way disappointed with their choice of a partner. Go read davelepka's post. Like Wendy, I cheered, too. It's the best advice you've gotten in this and any thread. QuoteDo you know how that feels. slice your hand, and stick it in a sink full of lemon juice Nope, because I am in a healthy relationship and I tend to get myself out of unhealthy relationships if I find myself in them (whether they be romantic or otherwise)."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #22 February 25, 2011 Quote For a smart guy, you sure act like a dumbass. How about you stop worrying about chicks and relationships and all that crap and just live your life? No offence, but you're like a woman the way you worry about all that shit, and you just need to get over it. It's not rocket science dude, you want to get laid, find a woman who will sleep with you. If you want a relationship, find a woman who wants the same things out of life that you do, and commit. Great points!!! However I found the more I searched, the less I found. When I stopped looking and started just watching and listening: Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
david3 0 #23 February 25, 2011 QuoteQuoteThis is life, not engineering. Engineer things and work, and leave the engineering there. Live your life like a person, and stop trying to figure out the formula for everything, some thing just don't have a formula or a solution, they just are what they are. davelepka Thank you. I'm sorry, I guess living in a world of process flow charts and risk analysis and process driven initiatives and design has permeated into my subconscious. Life isn't a system, there is no equation or trend. I'm going to have to think about this. Thank you I think the point was to stop thinking about it. +1 to everything davelepka said. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Glitch 0 #24 February 25, 2011 Judging from the title, I though this was a thread about the Ladder Theory . Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #25 February 25, 2011 QuoteQuoteThis is life, not engineering. Engineer things and work, and leave the engineering there. Live your life like a person, and stop trying to figure out the formula for everything, some thing just don't have a formula or a solution, they just are what they are. davelepka Thank you. I'm sorry, I guess living in a world of process flow charts and risk analysis and process driven initiatives and design has permeated into my subconscious. Life isn't a system, there is no equation or trend. I'm going to have to think about this. Thank you Are you sure you're an engineer? That sounds more like accountant thinking to me. Engineers realize that there are always factors beyond what they currently know and are currently quantifying and try to incorporate them, accountants tend to not look beyond what they already see. As for your friend: Always get a prenup.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
