Drunken Crutch Handling Tips and Techniques

[skybytch 259]

I'm off pain meds but still non weight bearing and casted for the next two weeks. No pain meds means I can drink. It's boogie time at the local dz. You can guess where I'm going with this.

Yes, I can admit it. My drunken crutch handling skills need work. They are adequate to keep my from falling over, but I have no style, no flair, no "hold my beer and watch this" worthy maneuvers.

So, those of you that have mastered the art of drunken crutch handling (and I know you are out there), Help a broken person have a safe and fun day of being drunk at the dropzone by posting your best drunken crutch handling tips and techniques. Thanks.

[oldwomanc6 38]

Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast









And beat the rest of them out of the way with your extra limb.


BTW: your sig line is humorous

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[hcsvader 1]

get yourself some kind of device that will let you carry your drink around your neck. something as simple as a stubby holder tied up with a couple of pull up cords will make your life alot easier.

It sucks trying to hop along while trying to hold a drink.

or just get one of those beer hats. That was you still have something to hold your drink and you have something to protect your head when you fall down

Have you seen my pants?
it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream
>:)

[pincheck 0]

forget drunk girl my sober crutch handling skills, leave something to be desired. slipping and sliding trying to get a bath once one of the kids has managed to soak the floor taking a shower earlier. Still on Meds and gagging for a beer just one i even bough a bloody bottle opening keyring to be ready

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[skybytch 259]

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forget drunk girl my sober crutch handling skills, leave something to be desired

Heh. My s/o got to be woken up at 2 am by a loud "thump" and a scream as I fell onto the bathroom floor a few weeks ago. And that was without alcohol.

[PLFKING 3]

Being drunk AND on crutches escalates your chances of ruining your clothes due to falls, rips, vomit, etc. To avoid trashing any 'good' outfits, I would recommend wearing nothing but Sharks paraphernalia during this time of recovery/debauchery.

I'd give you my Sharks jersey, but I use it for washing the car and scooping up dog shit in the yard.


Don

"When in doubt I whip it out,
I got me a rock-and-roll band.
It's a free-for-all."

[skybytch 259]

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To avoid trashing any 'good' outfits,

Ummm... you do remember who it is you're talking to, right?

[shropshire 0]

Anyone handling my crutch best be sober enough to remember it

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[PiLFy 0]

I suggest you get video of some of your landings for later review w/your instructor. That, & tip your packer extra to bring your drinks to you. Better tip the guy w/the golf cart too...

[riddler 0]

Every time I read this thread title, I see "Drunken Crotch Handling Tips and Techniques"

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[skydiver30960 0]

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Every time I read this thread title, I see "Drunken Crotch Handling Tips and Techniques"

That is simply... AWESOME! It's not often stuff I read online honestly makes me laugh out loud...

And to the Bytch: I read the thread title (correctly, I guess I'm not as much of a perv as I used to be) and I KNEW it had to be written by you even before my eyes moved over to the "author" column...

Elvisio "keep healing, girl, and get back on the ice" Rodriguez

[ryoder 1,384]

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Every time I read this thread title, I see "Drunken Crotch Handling Tips and Techniques"

Thank goodness I'm not the only one.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[SpeedRacer 1]

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Every time I read this thread title, I see "Drunken Crotch Handling Tips and Techniques"

Glad I wasn't the only one.

Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------

[pincheck 0]

do a number of you guys sit reading this with your hand on your crotch. i have to keep mine on my Crutches no doubt so does Liza so please keep it clean or wash your hands more often we would be most appreciative

one reason for not shaking a guys hand these days

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[ltdiver 3]

Stay in a wheelchair and let all the other drunks push you around! Beats *you* falling down and busting your ass!

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon

[pincheck 0]

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Stay in a wheelchair and let all the other drunks push you around! Beats *you* falling down and busting your ass!

Damn i never got one of those a tall type of zimmer and then a normal size of zimmer before the crutches. thing is i kept getting flashes of the old boy from family guy for some reason

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[pyrotech 0]

I blew my ankle out snowboarding in the winter of 2009 - 2010, and was stuck on crutches for a few months. Here's what I learned on them:

First and foremost, putting weight on the top of a standard crutch hurts like a bitch after a short time. Wrap towels around the shoulder holder, and duct tape it there so it doesn't fall off when you're trying to walk.

You can get a lot of momentum by swinging yourself from one side of a hallway to another. If you jump forward a bit and put the rubber stopper on the ground, you can swing yourself without having to touch your feet on the ground. If you swing yourself high enough, you can catch air. If you have enough air, you can land back on the crutches without having to put your feet down. After a couple of months, I was able to do a 180 and land with most impact on the crutches, and balancing my landing with my good foot. Practice by first making really long strides on the crutches, and landing on your good foot only.

Stairs are a bitch on crutches. Don't bother using them properly. Instead, hop on your good foot down the stairs. When you get really fast at it, it's more of a controlled fall, and looks really cool.

You can walk on just the crutches themselves. Lift your feet and use them as if they were stilts attached only to your arms. If you have already been working at this, try landing on one crutch, do a 270 on it and land forward. Minimal effort, lots of style.

As for handling drinks, I bought a nalgene and a caribiner, and attached my drink to my belt loop.

[champu 1]

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Every time I read this thread title, I see "Drunken Crotch Handling Tips and Techniques"

Glad I wasn't the only one.

Indeed. And the first time I skimmed past it I read, "Drunken Church Handling Tips and Techniques."

[masterrig 1]

Power Chair!


Chuck

[pincheck 0]

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Power Chair!


Chuck

was hobbling into a DIY chain warehouse here with friend who said " think will get you on one of those " pointing at these bloody electric buggies with baskets.

Afraid i got a bit vocal and told my friend where i would shove said buggy if he had any more smart comments to which the girl behind the counter there burst out laughing , gave her e a little wink

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[masterrig 1]

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Power Chair!


Chuck

was hobbling into a DIY chain warehouse here with friend who said " think will get you on one of those " pointing at these bloody electric buggies with baskets.

Afraid i got a bit vocal and told my friend where i would shove said buggy if he had any more smart comments to which the girl behind the counter there burst out laughing , gave her e a little wink

Seems like, all the operators of said carts can do is just block the aisles and give you a dirty look when you say; 'Excuxe me!' and try to squeeze through.


Chuck