Married folks - joint or serparate bank accounts?

[pincheck 0]

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I have my bank account and so does she

we must be married to the same peron or they are related

Seriously always been separate accounts, we tend to split all regular bills50/50 and will talk of one offs if the other need cash for something, fair enough. Just the way its always been as My wife has always had a independent streak,i have no qualms with that

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[livendive 8]

Not married yet, but that'll change next year, and we've already discussed this. Despite living together, we've maintained seperate accounts up to this point...she writes me a couple checks each month to help with bills and I pay them. We're keeping our accounts, but also starting a joint account in which we can team up on bigger purchases, e.g. saving for the upcoming wedding. The plan is to keep that account open after we're married for joint emergency funds, vacation funds, other large purchases, etc. I got burned pretty hard on my joint banking account in my first marriage, but that doesn't even really figure into my opinion...I just want to know how much money I have in my accounts without having to keep track of someone else's spending.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[squirrel 0]

you, and your spouse, are either all in, or all out. separate accounts is a prelude to failure.

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[Squeak 17]

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.I just want to know how much money I have in my accounts without having to keep track of someone else's spending.

Blues,
Dave

Yeah dont get that at all, I would never think of "keeping track" or my wifes spending.
to enter into a relationship with this as a concern, to me means there's already a communication issue

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[oldwomanc6 38]

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.I just want to know how much money I have in my accounts without having to keep track of someone else's spending.

Blues,
Dave

Yeah dont get that at all, I would never think of "keeping track" or my wifes spending.
to enter into a relationship with this as a concern, to me means there's already a communication issue

I, too don't understand the "keeping track of". Mike and I have only joint accounts which we have equal access to. We don't differentiate "his and her money".

But, we each have different management of some of the accounts. For instance, Mike manages the acct. that paychecks are deposited into and bills get paid from. I manage the acct. which gets X dollars a month for gas, groceries, and going out, and goofing off. When he was active duty and gone all the time, I managed all the money.

I guess the important thing is if you are both comfortable with whatever system you work out, no one should tell you that you are wrong. We might not understand it, but as long as one partner isn't using money as a power play in a marriage, who are the rest of us to criticize?

eta: I guess i don't understand how committed you are to each other if you keep your assets separate. Unless you have dependent children from a previous marriage/relationship. My sis-in-law has a handicapped son who will never be independent. She made sure his care will be taken care of if something happens to her. Then she remarried (they lived together for over a dozen years), so even that reason can be legally worked out.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[warpedskydiver 0]

Separate, I would have voted joint until recently

[guppykf 0]

+1

THRIVING IN MY DASH!!

[amstalder 0]

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.I just want to know how much money I have in my accounts without having to keep track of someone else's spending.

Blues,
Dave

Yeah dont get that at all, I would never think of "keeping track" or my wifes spending.
to enter into a relationship with this as a concern, to me means there's already a communication issue

I, too don't understand the "keeping track of". Mike and I have only joint accounts which we have equal access to. We don't differentiate "his and her money".

But, we each have different management of some of the accounts. For instance, Mike manages the acct. that paychecks are deposited into and bills get paid from. I manage the acct. which gets X dollars a month for gas, groceries, and going out, and goofing off. When he was active duty and gone all the time, I managed all the money.

I guess the important thing is if you are both comfortable with whatever system you work out, no one should tell you that you are wrong. We might not understand it, but as long as one partner isn't using money as a power play in a marriage, who are the rest of us to criticize?

eta: I guess i don't understand how committed you are to each other if you keep your assets separate. Unless you have dependent children from a previous marriage/relationship. My sis-in-law has a handicapped son who will never be independent. She made sure his care will be taken care of if something happens to her. Then she remarried (they lived together for over a dozen years), so even that reason can be legally worked out.

It's possible he didn't mean "I have to track when she spends MY money!" We operate out of separate (but joint) accounts, so that it's easier to track who spent what. For us, it's not to keep a tally, but to spot fraud quicker.

But I could be wrong, and Dave could've meant it like it's coming across.

[lawrocket 3]

She's got hers and she's on mine. She's looking at adding me on. After a year and a half, she's figured out that, yes, I really am as cheap as I was acting and could be trusted to not spend anything on anything unless absolutely necessary.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[dzdaveu47 0]

Had a joint account. Was married. Now I'm not and the joint account has alot to do with that. Now I'm single and have money in the bank. Go figure.

Read icculus, the helping freindly book.

[JohnMitchell 14]

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Had a joint account. Was married. Now I'm not and the joint account has alot to do with that. Now I'm single and have money in the bank. Go figure.

Sounds like you married a Spender. Sorry.

[livendive 8]

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.I just want to know how much money I have in my accounts without having to keep track of someone else's spending.

Blues,
Dave

Yeah dont get that at all, I would never think of "keeping track" or my wifes spending.
to enter into a relationship with this as a concern, to me means there's already a communication issue

I, too don't understand the "keeping track of". Mike and I have only joint accounts which we have equal access to. We don't differentiate "his and her money".

It must not be obvious in the way I phrased it, but I *don't* want to keep track of her spending. I just want to be able to throw $500 worth of gas in the boat without first asking her whether there have been any recent couple hundred dollar trips to Victoria's Secret (e.g.). Having our own accounts plus a joint account lets us each spend confidently without having to ask what the other is up to.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[livendive 8]

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It's possible he didn't mean "I have to track when she spends MY money!" We operate out of separate (but joint) accounts, so that it's easier to track who spent what. For us, it's not to keep a tally, but to spot fraud quicker.

But I could be wrong, and Dave could've meant it like it's coming across.

I'm not sure how it's coming across. I just mean that seperate accounts allow us to not worry about what the other is spending. Ownership aside, the adminstration of 3 accounts (hers, mine, and our's) seems easier than constantly trying to coordinate plans for one account.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[jeaux16 0]

Seperate with a joint bill paying account we both transfer into. No mess, no fuss....

[squirrel 0]

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.I just want to know how much money I have in my accounts without having to keep track of someone else's spending.

Blues,
Dave

Yeah dont get that at all, I would never think of "keeping track" or my wifes spending.
to enter into a relationship with this as a concern, to me means there's already a communication issue

I, too don't understand the "keeping track of". Mike and I have only joint accounts which we have equal access to. We don't differentiate "his and her money".

It must not be obvious in the way I phrased it, but I *don't* want to keep track of her spending. I just want to be able to throw $500 worth of gas in the boat without first asking her whether there have been any recent couple hundred dollar trips to Victoria's Secret (e.g.). Having our own accounts plus a joint account lets us each spend confidently without having to ask what the other is up to.

Blues,
Dave

ignorance is bliss?

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[mswallin13 0]

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.I just want to know how much money I have in my accounts without having to keep track of someone else's spending.

Blues,
Dave

Yeah dont get that at all, I would never think of "keeping track" or my wifes spending.
to enter into a relationship with this as a concern, to me means there's already a communication issue

I, too don't understand the "keeping track of". Mike and I have only joint accounts which we have equal access to. We don't differentiate "his and her money".

It must not be obvious in the way I phrased it, but I *don't* want to keep track of her spending. I just want to be able to throw $500 worth of gas in the boat without first asking her whether there have been any recent couple hundred dollar trips to Victoria's Secret (e.g.). Having our own accounts plus a joint account lets us each spend confidently without having to ask what the other is up to.

Blues,
Dave

ignorance is bliss?

At the risk of putting words in livendive or amstalder's mouths, I believe I understand exactly where they're coming from. It's not about a lack of trust in your partner, or a desire to keep tabs on them. It's simply a matter of simplified account balancing.

My wife and I have always had separate accounts so that neither of us has to worry about bouncing a payment because the other one paid for something else. Our bills are split up in proportion to incomes so that we are each saving a similar amount of money in savings. However, all of our account information is stored in the same Microsoft Money file, so there is no hiding anything from one another. Everything is transparent. The only time this system has been a problem is when we sold our last house and the check was made out to both of us. We had to add her to one of my accounts in order to deposit the check. We would still have that joint account, but they started charging a maintenance fee and that account went bye-bye.

I'm not advocating that everyone (or even anyone) use this method, but I am a little miffed at the implication that having separate accounts somehow implies a lack of commitment or a pessimistic attitude about the future of the relationship. It's worked for 11 years, and counting...

Matthew Wallin
C-37899