For popsjumper

[JerryBaumchen 1,048]

Hi pops,

You were asking about places to retire/relocate to:

You can retire to Seattle where...

1. You can rust, grow moss on your back and webbed feet all at the same time.
2. Coffee is a major food group.
3. You can wear socks with your sandals and shorts with your parka.
4. You can go to the Seattle Rain Festival...starts Jan & ends in Dec.
5. The four seasons are rainy, rainier, sun breaks and rain, and construction.
6. And, no matter how much you try, you can't drive as fast as the Canadians.

OR You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...

1. You're willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: very warm but tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU FRICK'N KIDDING ME??!!

OR You can retire to California where...

1. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

OR You can retire to New York City where...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (ed. note if you have a car).
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

OR You can retire to Minnesota where...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for casserole, which you call “hot pot.â€
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.

OR You can retire to the Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Ray, Bonnie Sue, Betty Jean, etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too.

OR You can retire to Colorado where...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
5. The seasons are: Hiking, Feels Like Snow, Snow, Melt/Snow/Melt.

OR You can retire to the rural Midwest where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

OR You can retire to Florida where...

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon (catch the early bird special).
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.



JerryBaumchen

[muff528 3]

Hey, Seattle! Florida here. We'll trade you our slow Canadians for some of your fast ones.

[oldwomanc6 38]

Or you can move to New Mexico, where it's.... Wait, I don't want to tell you, because you will want to move there, too, and drive the cost of living up before I get a chance to move back there.

So... Move to Maryland, buy a lot of property, so I can move back to N.M.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[Shell666 0]

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Hey, Seattle! Florida here. We'll trade you our slow Canadians for some of your fast ones.

Hell, I'll trade some slow Canadians for some of those fast Seattle ones .... Edmonton drivers are the WORST!!!

'Shell

[popsjumper 2]

Can I take one from column A and one from column B?

I think you made me realize just how green my pasture over yonder really is.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[popsjumper 2]

I'll see your slow Canadians and raise you two Florida retirees.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[Shell666 0]

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I'll see your slow Canadians and raise you two Florida retirees.

Without snow here right now, I'll take them but only if they're from the west. You can keep the ones that came from east of Hudson Bay ... =P

'Shell

[Amazon 7]

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Quote

I'll see your slow Canadians and raise you two Florida retirees.

Without snow here right now, I'll take them but only if they're from the west. You can keep the ones that came from east of Hudson Bay ... =P

EEEEWWWWW I hear those talk kinda funny

[Andrewwhyte 1]

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6. And, no matter how much you try, you can't drive as fast as the Canadians.

Have you ever been to Vancouver? It's just the novelty of physically being able to drive fast. You guys have special lanes for it and stuff.

[JohnMitchell 14]

Or you can move to Portland, OR where...

1. It rains almost as much as Seattle.
2. You can't pump your own gas.
3. Bicycles have right of way over everything, including cars with a green light.
4. There's no sales tax but you have to pay a deposit on all your bottles and cans.
5. There's a cool trolley system that will carry you from brew pub to brew pub all over town.

[Krip 2]

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I'll see your slow Canadians and raise you two Florida retirees.

The Q-tips driveing on the interstate in florida scared the piss out of me.

They can hardly see over the steering wheel and will stay on your bumper regardless of how fast your driving to get away from them,

Their reaction time is zero. and their driving bumber to bumper doing 80 MPH.

Otoh what do they have to lose in a car accident?
A couple of month's.

IMO the safest lane in florida is the right lane because everyone will be passing you in a flash

FWIW the rainy season started in seattle a couple of weeks ago and we're looking at freezing temps at night almost and day now. Got the wood stove going, and the exterior water lines drained, stocked up on lots of T.P. Just in case we get snowed in.

Trust me you so don't want to move to the seattle metroplex, You don't even want to visit during the dry season you'll freeze your butt off.

[gonzalesna 0]

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[ryoder 1,388]

Quote

OR You can retire to Colorado where...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
5. The seasons are: Hiking, Feels Like Snow, Snow, Melt/Snow/Melt.

Nonsense. None of us ride bikes that cheap.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[nigel99 144]

This made me think of Popsjumper

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[popsjumper 2]

Now I understand your note about not being able to come visit us here again...it all becomes clear.
Asshole.


I had to bust out of the hospital to get back to dizzy.com and now I have to take this abuse???????



I'm retiring to......to.......wherever my dart lands on the map. But I'd settle for a cozy nook in a sorority house.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[LongWayToFall 0]

Plenty of old people in Phoenix too... When I lived there it was always crazy to look in the newspaper at the obituary... When the temps started getting up past 110 for the first time that year, old people started dying in mass...

Also, people in Phoenix have no idea how to drive in the rain. They don't slow down at all, and you see them going 80mph in a total downpour with white knuckles on the steering wheel... hahaha.