my boy opened his presents early....now what?

[oldwomanc6 38]

I know this is a heated topic. But,

There is a world of difference between a swat on the butt and being beaten. Just the same as there is a world of difference between a time out and being locked in a closet.

Having been the victim of abuse, myself, I know. My dad chose me out of 5 kids to make his points. Bruises, welts and drawing blood. Belts, paddles, bamboo switches etc...

IMO, the key to good parenting is finding what works for each child, both as a deterrent/punishment and as encouragement. This also can and will change with age. What worked when they were toddlers may and probably won't be effective as teens. What is effective with one of your kids may or may not be effective with the other (my kids were polar opposites as to how they misbehaved and what punishment/discipline was effective). This was true in the encouragement/motivation department, as well.

It's probably harder to raise kids now than when I did or even more so, when my parents generation did (the proof is in the pudding as they say).

It's a fine line between autonomy and accountability.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[AggieDave 6]

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AggieDave do you think any of your personality and behavior could go back to those good old American ass kickings as a kid??

I didn't say I got my ass kicked. I got spankings. Open hand, always on the butt, never with a belt, never with a closed fist and never in anger.

Yes I do.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[gonzalesna 0]

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Would you agree that what works for one doesn't work for another?

No. I think that if you have to resort to hitting your child, then you're not parenting well enough.

I got spanked and look how well I turned out.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[gonzalesna 0]

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Edited to add: on spanking my child, I made sure to come back and explain to her why I spanked her, laying out the chain of events that led to it, until she understood and told me she was sorry. A nice hug and all is good, with the caveat that it better not happen again, OR ELSE!

How long did it take you to write her the note so she'd know what the hell you were trying to say?

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[gonzalesna 0]

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Would you agree that what works for one doesn't work for another?

No. I think that if you have to resort to hitting your child, then you're not parenting well enough.

In all seriousness, spankings I feel are different than hitting, beating, etc. Physical punishment can prove to be a valuable correction, in conjunction with other forms of punishment, but NO ONE should ever discipline their child physically when they're mad. It should never be done out of anger because the punishment will never fit the crime. Plain and simple. That said, a whack on the butt is not detrimental to a child's development when appropriately warranted.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[popsjumper 2]

Mark,
Believe me...I can relate to what you are saying. I was in a similar situation but, granted, not as drastic was what you portrayed.

And like, you, I did not treat my kids that way. I broke the cycle with my kids.

I was too small to physically stand up to this 6'4' 280lb offensive lineman so I had to resort to other means to stop the madness. Fortunately for me, he responded and quit the BS before it got to a point of no return.

OTOH, I have to agree with Chris...corporal punishment can work for some kids. The kid across the street from me was an example. I, unlike he, was too hard-headed to learn to avoid the whippings.


To all those saying that the hands-off approach is a major cause of the mindset of today's youth, I would question that. I think that idea is much too simplistic. I think there is much more to it than just eliminating the spankings, whippings or whatever.

I have no answers.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[Andy9o8 0]

My very un-scientific observation over the years, is that the majority of the most hard-assed attitudes about parenting and discipline I hear or read are expressed by people who've never (or not yet) had any kids of their own. It's not a 1-to-1 correlation, but it's something that stands out pretty prominently every time one of these these "parenting" threads come up in here.

[CSpenceFLY 1]

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There is a world of difference between a swat on the butt and being beaten. Just the same as there is a world of difference between a time out and being locked in a closet.

Bingo.

[normiss 622]

[masterrig 1]

A-#1!!!!!!


Chuck

[masterrig 1]

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AggieDave do you think any of your personality and behavior could go back to those good old American ass kickings as a kid??

I didn't say I got my ass kicked. I got spankings. Open hand, always on the butt, never with a belt, never with a closed fist and never in anger.

Yes I do.

That's what I got as a kid... spankings. One exception... my dad gave me the side of his foot on my butt for messing with his table saw. On his part, I think it was a reaction just as I shut the saw off, he walked into the garage and my back was to him.


Chuck

[Andy9o8 0]

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You fuckers

On second thought, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

[ryoder 1,384]

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My dad used to beat the shit outta me. Belts, cutting boards, switches, screwdriver once, fists, open hands. It happened when I misbehaved, so it was easily excused, more so given the generation. Never knew when it would come though, might be something I did, didn't do, said, or implied.

It taught me a few things instantly.

To fear my father (until I finally slugged him back and staggered him when I was in high school anyway).

Holy shit! That is exactly the same experience I had.
I slugged him back when he tried to hit me in the face with the buckle end of a belt. It was instinctive self-defense, and to this day I don't remember throwing the punch, but one second I was sitting in a chair, and the next instant I was standing up and he was staggering backward, so I know I did it.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

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My dad used to beat the shit outta me. Belts, cutting boards, switches, screwdriver once, fists, open hands. It happened when I misbehaved, so it was easily excused, more so given the generation. Never knew when it would come though, might be something I did, didn't do, said, or implied.

It taught me a few things instantly.

To fear my father (until I finally slugged him back and staggered him when I was in high school anyway).

Holy shit! That is exactly the same experience I had.
I slugged him back when he tried to hit me in the face with the buckle end of a belt. It was instinctive self-defense, and to this day I don't remember throwing the punch, but one second I was sitting in a chair, and the next instant I was standing up and he was staggering backward, so I know I did it.

I stood up to my dad once too. I used to get the belt, or homemade wooden paddle that was splintering around the edges, or he'd just grab my hair and slap me upside the head. I fought back once and tore a ligament on his thumb. Don't remember how. He never touched me again after that and learned to reason with me.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[riddler 0]

When I was a kid, my mom put presents under the tree. MY brother and I were good kids and never opened them. There were only a couple, usually, since we were kinda poor. But we had to learn to ignore them as best we could until Christmas.

My ex's father just hid the presents until Christmas morning. He's a smart guy. I'm doing the same.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[Krip 2]

Hi

Kids are kids and teanagers are teenagers.

People like Ted Bundy and Gary Ridgeway (Green River) aren't the result of bad parenting thier born that way.

There are many different forms of abuse, besides physical Verbal abuse doesn't leave any physical scars but if repeated often enough the results can be a lot worse then a spanking, or a ass whipping.

After a certain age kids know there's no Santa, the parents that can afford it get off on it more than the kids it makes them feel good. The parrents that can't afford it feel like crap. Merry Xmas everyone
Leaving a plate of crack alone in front of a crackhead was a good one. Why temp the kids and punish them when they can't resist. Thats a set up for failure.

My bro and I did something a lot worse than opening our present. FWIW Thats not a spelling error.

Don't remember why but we came home and the tree had fallen down some of the ornaments hab gotten broken my mom was at work so my older bro and I preteens got a wild har aand deided to play baseball with a broom handle and the rest of the glass ornaments.

Dear mom was a little very disapointed when she got home from her second job. SIUCC

Reading about the way some of you guy's te way you were treated as kids explains a lot about your on screen personality "Why should I care GAF about veterans day? Its not a paid holiday for me, me, me,

269 I'll give you the benifit of the doubt which you dont deserve and take a WAG that your a product of your up bringing. And thats why your the way you are.

As for all you parents that think your college kids are little angles and are something to be proud of.

You probably don't have a clue what their really like and won't find out until their first, second or third marrage.

In our little town that has a majority of 1%'s a bartender was getting ready to close up noticed a customer outside standing on his toes by the Food barrel for the less forunate.

When the bartender had to go to outside he checked out the barrel and the customer had urinated on the food that had been donated.

The report in the local paper stated the bartender knew the customer wasn't drunk because he had served him. But the dumbass had paid by credit card so the confused mature adult got a nice letter from the hi end bar/eating place with a CC to the local cop shop.

The a-hole is offically banned and If/when he shows up again. He'll be busted for tresspassing. That man is someones kid. I figure he's another 269

Rant over have a happy consumer holiday. Hug your kids be nice and hope for the best.

R.

[skymama 35]

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As for all you parents that think your college kids are little angles and are something to be proud of.

You probably don't have a clue what their really like and won't find out until their first, second or third marrage.

I know my kids aren't angels, nor do I expect them to be, but I'm still proud of the people they've turned out to be. The whole point was that you can raise good kids without physical punishments.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[Krip 2]

+1 you did good.
Just don't forget there are different kinds of abuse besides physical.

Being a multiple bride you probably already know that.

Ask your soul mate about My veterans day quote. do a search on this websight if he won't man up

R.