my boy opened his presents early....now what?

[sfzombie 3]

pissed me off pretty bad and his mom was crying, said it broke her heart. i understand he's only 8 and wasn't thinking of that, but i'm at a loss as to what to do, we thought of holding his presents from us for birthday presents in march, santa not coming and leaving anything but a lump of coal, can't quite come up with anything but grass drills, that we know for sure. it wasn't so much the presents, but the breaking of trust and the thing that was going through his head was, "i can get away with it". nothing about the right or wrong in it. any ideas?

http://kitswv.com

[jimmytavino 16]

well,,, for a child....any present within view is "fair game".....

try not to be toooo harsh on him..
better to have kept the gift(s) Out of sight !! til Christmas morning...imho

jmy

[skydiver604 0]

I wouldn't be too hard on im, don't want to be so harsh that it get's ingrained in his head that xmas time is a bad time, i would sit im down and explain the trust issues etc etc etc, rewrap his gifts and proceed as normal, hopefully the lack of "surprise" xmas morning when he reopens his presents will have somewhat of an "oops" / "oh shit" moment and teach him a life lesson.

failing that I recommend 90 days solitary confinement with bread and water and taped episodes of Oprah and Dr Phil

Edited to add

I did the same thing when I was his age, actually the lack of surprise xmas morning was worse than the application of old man's belt

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo

[Andy9o8 0]

Quote

Edited to add

I did the same thing when I was his age, actually the lack of surprise xmas morning was worse than the application of old man's belt

Just to be clear: your father assaulted his 8-or-so year-old daughter, with a weapon to enhance the pain, for opening Christmas presents early?

[CSpenceFLY 1]

Sounds like a kid that has never had a good ass beating and has no respect for his parents. At 8 yrs old I would hope he knew what he was doing was wrong.

I don't want to beat up too bad on someone I don't know but when I see a child misbehave I rarely blame the child.



I would either take some of the gifts back or hold them till the birthday in March.

[pincheck 0]

go out and buy one non expensive present to wrap up for Christmas day, as for the ones he opened well they don't get played with till Christmas day.

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[skydiver604 0]

Quote

Quote

Edited to add

I did the same thing when I was his age, actually the lack of surprise xmas morning was worse than the application of old man's belt

Just to be clear: your father assaulted his 8-or-so year-old daughter, with a weapon to enhance the pain, for opening Christmas presents early?

Just to be clear,,,son ,,,not daughter,,,,yeah the old man could be little harsh at times,,,,I turned out all right tho. and how did you get daughter out of that ??? Jesus now I'm gonna get a complex

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo

[shah269 0]

He's 8?
How about you tell him to do something really nutty.
1) Have him rewrap his gift and put it under the tree.
2) Have him give everyone their gift on Xmass day. Every one sits and he takes the gift from under the tree and presents it to the family.
And once everyone has opened up their gifts and thanked each other for their thoughts he cleans up all of the gift wrapping and then he can open up his gifts.

Christmas isn't about the gifts, it's about time we spend with those we love and care about and who make our lives a better.

He's young he doesn't get that yet but maybe by seeing the looks on other people's faces not when they open the gifts but when they are thanked by others for their thoughts he may get a better understanding?

Just don't spank the kid or do any of that stuff...it's not in the spirit of the holiday

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Andy9o8 0]

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how did you get daughter out of that ?

Brain fart; sorry.

Quote

Jesus now I'm gonna get a complex

Well, if it's a Jesus complex, that's ok.

[airtwardo 6]

He rubs the lotion on himself or he gets the hose again!












~Actually, I'd make him give all his toys to charity, and have him wash deer poop off the sleigh on Christmas!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[jonstark 8]

Quote

I wouldn't be too hard on im, don't want to be so harsh that it get's ingrained in his head that xmas time is a bad time, i would sit im down and explain the trust issues etc etc etc, rewrap his gifts and proceed as normal, hopefully the lack of "surprise" xmas morning when he reopens his presents will have somewhat of an "oops" / "oh shit" moment and teach him a life lesson.

Good one.

jon

[oldwomanc6 38]

My son did the same thing when he was about that age. Two years in a row.

We took away the presents, and he had nothing to open on Christmas. We only kept them for a few days after Christmas, but that's an eternity for a small kid. The next year, we kept them away from him for a few weeks, and for the next few years we didn't put his gifts out till Christmas morning because we couldn't trust him which was sad because he didn't get to shake and guess.

No other punishment, but not getting your gifts when everyone else gets them was harsh enough, I guess, but not too harsh, or he wouldn't have done it again the very next year.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[shah269 0]

You guys are some rocking parents!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[skydiver604 0]

No Problem

Merry Christmas

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo

[shropshire 0]

Sell him to a travelling circus.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[gonzalesna 0]

Lynch mob.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[sfzombie 3]

the grass drills take the place of spanking, he hates them. and i don't blame him, it's parenting. we're just at a loss as to what to do to try to instill respect into him, he's smart so it's hard to get him to understand. i also don't want to scar him, but i don't want to let him run wild either. it's not the presents so much as my ex was terribly upset...he felt bad enough after we had a serious talk with him, i think he'll get xmas, just really ticked off that i haven't been able to get through...thanx for all the good advice...

http://kitswv.com

[CSpenceFLY 1]

Maybe let him read this thread and let him see what other people think of him.

[piisfish 135]

why are the presents already in sight ? did Santa come early this year ?? He must start his tour on your side of the pond, because he always reached my place on Christmas Eve... generally late in the night (sometimes a bit earlier)

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[peregrinerose 0]

Have him donate everything to toys to tots, explaining very clearly that his lack of respect for gifts and the people who gave him those gifts means that they should instead go to people who are more appreciative. He gets to watch everyone else open their stuff on Christmas, with his already gone and donated.

He's 8. Not getting gifts for one year will not be the end of the world. He will get the message loud and clear.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[charlie5 0]

My parents wouldn't put the gifts out until Christmas eve.

Leaving gifts out early with kids around is like leaving crack rocks out for crackheads.

The feather butts bounce off ya like raindrops hitting a battle-star when they come in too fast...kinda funny to watch. - airtwardo

[wmw999 2,123]

I think this is a really great idea. Modeling and rewarding good behavior is always better than punishing bad (if possible).

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[wmw999 2,123]

When I was growing up, presents started appearing early, and we always opened on Christmas Eve. So it wasn't really a surprise to find out that Santa didn't exist. But I'll admit I never opened all of the presents -- I might have peeked once or twice, but never opened.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[BrokenR1 0]

I know of a family that instead of giving gifts to each other one year told their children that year they would be giving instead of receiving gifts.

A few years ago I spent Christmas down in Bogota, Colombia while working. On Christmas day from the hotel we saw a jeep cherokee loaded with presents stop outside and give a gift each to the children and adults that were homeless outside. More people came running over from several blocks around and received something as well and then the jeep left. I thought that was pretty cool of whoever it was.

When I was a kid I did peek at a few things sometimes. Always tried to be very sneaky and we'd open up the end to see what it was then reseal it up so you couldn't tell. Not sure if anyone was ever on to us but it was fun and had some memories of its own.

ETA: After thinking about it I wouldn't take the gifts away for a first time offense. Maybe give one an hour or one a day on/after Christmas.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Rap is to music what etch-a-sketch is to art.

[Andy9o8 0]

8 years old is old enough to learn about consequences, but it's also old enough to teach him proportionality; and it's still young enough that an over-reaction might hurt him too much.

I'd say make it clear to him that he's getting nothing else as a "surprise" on Christmas, and have him donate 1 toy as a way of learning about responsibility, trust and consequences. If you take away all his toys (unless it's for only a couple of days), and it may very well be something he repeats on the shrink's couch 15 years later. After all, he's only 8, and it's not like he physically hurt someone or stole - he only peeked.