narcimund

I got in an online chat about skydiving with a local guy named Mike last night. He's an experienced jumper, told me which local DZs he jumps at, etc. When I sent him a picture he said he recognized me from when I was down there last week. We agreed to carpool today ('cause my car isn't available this weekend, damnit.) Well, today he was a no-show. When I got a hold of him he told me that he'd twisted up his knee on a jump last week and wasn't feeling like jumping. I got a teensy bit suspicious and asked him some skydiver-y questions. Once I figured out he was a total fraud I started playing with him to see what he'd come up with. Today's online conversation had gems in it like this: Me: "So what kind of jumping do you do?" Mike: "Tandems" Me: "Oh. Are you a student or a tandem master?" Mike: "Master. I take students up for tandems sometimes. That's how I hurt my knee." Me: "Oh really? How many jumps do you have? I have about 250." Mike: "I have about 340. But I don't do tandems much anymore." Me: "What other kinds of jumping do you do?" Mike: (Quick, look up a dropzone website and look for different kinds of jumping. Oh, here's one!) ""I do accelerated freefall with some friends." Me: "What rig do you use?" MB: "What do you mean?" (pause) "You mean what's the name of my sail? Everyone uses different terms for these things." Me: "Yeah, different terms. What's the name of your sail? You know, Paracommander? T-10?" Mike: "It's a Silverstreak. It's made in Germany." Me: "How interesting. I've never heard of that one. How many cells does it have?" Mike: "Ten cells." (Quick! find a parachute manufacturer on the web.) "I usually buy my equipment at a place called performance designs." Me: "They sell the silverstreak?" Mike: "Yes. it's a division of vengeance. Oh, now that I think of it, the Silverstreak only has 9 cells." In the end I couldn't hold back any more and I complimented him on how well he was using our terminology. He got terrifically pissed at me for calling him a liar, said he didn't have time to waste on losers like me, and ended the conversation. The more I look back on it, the more I realize he basically never used a name or technical term until after I did. I was just so pleased to find someone to talk jumping and carpool with that I was completely fooled for a while. Joke's on me. And I never did find a ride to the DZ. First Class Citizen Twice Over

I'd pay extra to have them take the logos off. First Class Citizen Twice Over

As the Incidents forum matures and fills up with more announcements (unfortunate but likely) it's going to become more and more difficult to tell them apart. "New England Fatality" for instance is pretty generic. "Emergency Exit". "Mistake...lesson learned". These topics are going to repeat themselves and get confusing. Since these threads refer to specific incidents (and people's specific friends) I think it would be useful to mark each thread with a starting date. (i.e.: "Emergency Exit {Jul 16, 2002}".) [BTW, I've also asked Sangiro to automate this, but until/if he does that, it would be useful if people dated their own subject lines.} First Class Citizen Twice Over

I'll repost in incidents, but it was mainly directed at Sangiro who I hope will automate the timestamp. First Class Citizen Twice Over

Goofs... heh. First Class Citizen Twice Over

Notice that the crime isn't rape or murder. The crime is homosexuality. The punishment would be the same if it were consensual sex. Except then both of them would be executed. First Class Citizen Twice Over

My god! That's around $86,000! How much does that thing cost to run, anyway? First Class Citizen Twice Over

As the Incidents forum matures and fills up with more announcements (unfortunate but likely) it's going to become more and more difficult to tell them apart. "New England Fatality" for instance is pretty generic. "Emergency Exit". "Mistake...lesson learned". These topics are going to repeat themselves and get confusing. Since these threads refer to specific incidents (and people's specific friends) I think it would be useful to mark each thread with a starting date. (i.e.: "Emergency Exit [Jul 16, 2002]".) First Class Citizen Twice Over

Speaking of old movies about jumping, There was a short called "Proof" a whole long time ago. It was a hilarious parody of a first jump course. Later the short was re-filmed for a mediocre mainstream movie called Fandango. I sure would like a copy of Proof... First Class Citizen Twice Over

Drew, welcome back! I'm really glad to see you're around again. Whether or not you skydive again, Alexander and I are both glad to know you're alive and healing and optimistic. By the way, a few days ago we watched a video you took of us when you were teaching yourself how to fly camera. It's nice to have and might have helped a friend of ours decide to go jumping. First Class Citizen Twice Over

I have a 45 minute drive to Big DZ #1 With Turbines and a 2 hour drive to Small Family DZ #2. I'm anonymous at DZ #1 whereas some of the people at DZ #2 are friendly and welcoming. DZ #1 has no waiting to get on a load. They'll send up an underloaded plane sometimes just to keep the action moving. DZ #2 is slow and uneven. It can be a multi-hour wait to get a slot. People? Skydives? Nearby? Weekend trip? It's a tough call. I don't choose consistently. They both get my business. First Class Citizen Twice Over

There's currently a paracommander for sale on ebay: item #1844004470 First Class Citizen Twice Over

For the last two years our house has been getting incredibly hot during the summer. We just sweated through it until two weeks ago when I finally asked myself, "Why is this happening?" (Duh!) It turns out the exhaust fan in my attic died. A $40 fan and $40 worth of a handyman's time and now the house stays 30 degrees cooler on hot days. First Class Citizen Twice Over

The point of Sesame Street since its beginning has been to give real life kids strongly real life programming. Most TV is apparently intended to be watched by sitcom families with sitcom values and sitcom senses of humor. Sesame Street on the other hand has always been about living in the inner city, poor, relying on yourself and your community, not the government or society. It's almost a how-to-survive manual for toddlers who don't live in large, white suburban single family homes with two parents, two siblings, and two dogs. These kids have friends with illnesses and other troubles. It's an obvious (and astoundingly courageous) next step to include sick kids on the show. First Class Citizen Twice Over

How come Skydive Oregon isn't doing this? How come all the DZs don't do this all the time? Oh, wait. They'd go broke. That's why. Darnit. First Class Citizen Twice Over

Drew, take care and work hard so you can put this behind you and move on with your interrupted life. I look forward to seeing you at the DZ again soon! First Class Citizen Twice Over

Hmmm. I know my homeowner's insurance covers me if I lose things, even out of my house. It basically covers everything I own. Once I had a motorcycle helmet and leather jacket stolen from a park. Insurance wrote me a check. I wonder if it would cover a parachute misplaced during a cutaway. First Class Citizen Twice Over

I -might- not have a car Thursday night (July 11) so I might be needing a ride from Portland to Skydive Oregon for the Canopy Skills Workshop. Anyone going my way? First Class Citizen Twice Over

On my one-year anniversary I celebrated with a jump that was unusual enough I knew I'd remember it forever. Beer? Sure, I guess. Will you remember getting drunk forever? Will you even remember it the next day? Beer's nice and all, but sometimes it sure does smother imagination. First Class Citizen Twice Over

Would someone who believes they had a soul also believe they were capable of selling it to another? I ask because I'm confused why ANYONE would refuse the transaction. The atheist should take the dollar because there's no valuable loss, and the believer should take the dollar because it's a void contract. Of course both the atheist and the believer might both refuse the deal because it's more effort to mock up a fake transfer document and mail it away. But that's just a problem with the price. I say this because if I saw an offer of $1.00 for the invisible head of lettuce orbiting my body in the 5th dimension, I wouldn't lift a finger to follow through with the fake sale. A dollar isn't enough to get me to slow down, much less find paper, hand write a bill of sale, find an envelope, invest $0.37 in a stamp, find the address, etc. Maybe if the offer were $50 .... First Class Citizen Twice Over

I wish more politicians were cheap. It's too easy to spend other people's money. First Class Citizen Twice Over

My answer is simple: the view. First Class Citizen Twice Over

I look at the ebay parachute listings every day and have only seen one PC go by in the last 6 months. It's rare. Too bad, really. I'd love to pick up a 60s rig myself. I have about 20 PC jumps (back during training in the mid 80s) and would love to use that equipment sometimes. First Class Citizen Twice Over

The record number of jumps in one day is 500 even. No, I don't understand how that was done. That's one every 2 minutes 53 seconds for 24 hours straight not counting pee breaks. First Class Citizen Twice Over

Back a while ago I used to jump at a dz with very low standards of common sense. I had low standards too, I guess. When it was cloudy we'd get spotted from the ground. The dzo was good at positioning us by ear. Most of the time he was exactly right. Once we landed 8 miles away though. I guess he heard a different plane overhead and thought it was us. That dz is long gone. First Class Citizen Twice Over