Gato

I just uploaded a video of a poised exit on my 42nd jump. I was on a solo video slot with a tandem, exiting from 9,000, complete with an emotional outburst. Just your average poised exit, but it's pretty good considering how I used to bone ALL my exits, except for when I was hanging from the strut. Hope you all get a laugh out of it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0XQfcwNe4o&feature=channel_page Oh, and here are some preliminary answers to questions that may arise: I asked for an early door so I could have time to pull my leg straps back up, and that's why I'm fidgeting on the step. The tandem student asked me before exit if I was scared, and I said, "A little." That's not what I said on the step. My reserve flap did not touch the door, or the underside of the wing; I've slowed it down frame by frame to verify this. Try not to feel too jealous of my Geek Suit - my Square1 freefly suit with sci-fi patches. Get your own. Personal observation: I need to trim my eyebrows. (Edited to ad a "d" to a word. Dumbass.) T.I.N.S.

I'm going to be there right after New Year's Day. Hope I get to meet/jump with some of you folks. It's just about 8 degrees right now in Kansas City - God, maybe I should move back to Texas! T.I.N.S.

Those are size designations for the main and reserve containers. (unless I'm mistaken) T.I.N.S.

I'm still happy with my Digitude.

Boy, that is no shit!! I'm soooooo glad to be with my wife - I can't imagine being married to one of the dumbasses I dated before I met her. I'd also like to publicly thank every girl that ever let me go - I hope you all find somebody just as fucking psycho as you! Cool hot wives fucking rock!!! T.I.N.S.

0:My Birthday,

Congratulations! It only gets better, more fun, more to learn! Have fun & be safe!

It's refreshing to hear about someone taking a step back at the advice of the voices of reason. Good for you, Tunasalad! I have half the jumps you do, but I do know that you're in a position to influence other newbs. Most of the students we get at our DZ, regardless of where they are in their progression, are watching what the A License people are doing and listening to what they say, and some make decisions based on what they have seen and heard. Even at 46 jumps, they are watching you. If some newer jumper or student comes up and asks you why you aren't jumping with your camera, I think you should tell them exactly why, so they can learn from your example. One of my friends has been taking one of those little cameras on jumps since early this summer, at about 65 or so jumps. To my knowledge, he hasn't had anything bad happen because of it, but I also have never jumped with him (He's almost never at the DZ when I am). This same guy doesn't know what reserve is in his container. No shit. "I know it's pretty big." Stellar. I have another friend with less than 200 jumps who is convinced he needs (and WILL buy) a certain elliptical main in the 150 - 135 range, because "Parachutes fly easier when they're smaller." Seriously? Yeah, I'm having a REALLY rough time flying my 230 around. It hurts when I turn. Kids today. T.I.N.S.

I already have my "Be Rude Not To" sticker on my helmet, and my patch is going on my new jumpsuit. Here's to you, Lee - you are missed. T.I.N.S.

Yeah, and let's not forget how much we ALL love to geek the camera. T.I.N.S.

Annoying as hell: I will actually yell at the TV set whenever there's a news story where the "reporter" attempts to string words together that all have the same first letter, or thinks he or she is clever for strings of dumbass puns. Also, misspelling - ANY misspelling on network or cable TV makes me lose my fuckin' mind! Love SOOOO much: - My wife - My ugly-ass skydiving rig - Seeing the weekend forecast call for blue skies and low to moderate winds. - Bodyglove underwear (You can't know until you try it.) T.I.N.S.

I doubt if it's going to be on a show - the reason she was talking about it was because she'd already told Craig Ferguson that she was scared of tattoos and the paparazzi. When he said something to her about it, that was when she piped-up with the statement that she skydives. I think she does it purely for the rush - her words. Like most tandem passengers, she's a passenger and not a student. It would be interesting to see how she might change if she actually put in the work to get a license - if she suddenly became safety-conscious, generous, thoughtful, and displayed the ability to think more than 2 minutes into the future. She wouldn't really have to change morally to fit in with this crowd, would she? T.I.N.S.

Would that be a result of her skinny-ass frame, or because of labial drag? T.I.N.S.

Ouch. You probably wouldn't have to nail her just because you were her Tandem Instructor - but the S&TA might. T.I.N.S.

Just in case you thought being a musician is easy: I was playing a gig one night in a trio with a couple of friends at restaurant/bar. The bass player is a guy I've known for almost 10 years, and likes to micromanage every little fucking thing about the gig, up to and including calling random tunes that are totally inappropriate for the venue. He considers himself "the boss" of the band, since he's the one who booked the gig. We're about to go on for our 3rd set, and I tell him I'm going out to my car to get my Chapstick. He looks pissed and worried, and starts whining about how we'll be late, so I say "OK, it'd only take me 30 seconds, but let's get up there." We still had 4 minutes before we were expected to play. So we're up there and I'm turned away from him, tuning my guitar, when he says, quite loudly, "Chris, are you gonna pout all night about your fuckin' Chapstick, or are we gonna play some music? I'm trying to get some fuckin' mojo going here, man." He was 8 inches away from his mic, and the audience heard everything he said. I couldn't believe he actually did it - there is nothing more unprofessional you can do onstage than yell at a bandmate. I smiled at him, stepped away from my mic, and in my best Jack Nicholson sneer, I quietly said, "I'm tuning my guitar - what are you talking about? We're onstage, for God's sake!" The drummer just started playing the intro beat, and we were off. I was dumbstruck. As far as employers go, you get one shot: You swear at me in anger or yell at me in front of other people ONCE. You do it again, I'm gone. This was his number-two. I gave my notice immediately after the gig, and told him to find somebody else who'll put up with his shit. Felt REALLLLL good! T.I.N.S.

I'm watching right now - Craig asked her about things she's afraid of, and she said she skydives, and she's been doing it (Tandems) since last year on her birthday. So who keeps on taking up the princess and not telling us all? That's hot. T.I.N.S.

That's not what I was saying - you're reading too much into it. You post here as a regular jumper, but your profile is empty - that's all I'm talking about. Not everyone is going to take the time to find out who you are, and when you reply as if you are an authority on a subject (which is totally fine, because you are), not everyone you reply to will take it as you trying to be constructive. You said the questions you ask seem to piss people off more than the real issues, and you asked, "Why is that." That was the question I was attempting to answer - it was NOT a veiled attempt to get you to reply with USPA's "Official Position." I meant no disrespect to you or to USPA, and I'm sorry if it came across that way. T.I.N.S.

I've read a LOT of your posts, and I think you ask some pretty poignant questions, and I also believe that your intention is to inform and save lives. If taylor.freefall knew you were on the USPA Board of Directors, he might not have taken it the way he did. The value of information sometimes is dependent upon knowledge of its origin or its messenger, wouldn't you agree? I would bet most people don't click on the signatures/links at the bottom of posts, so the average "NG", as you put it, isn't going to know who you are. I'm more than willing to listen to what you have to say, as are many folks here, but that's because we know who you are, and we all have respect for your years in the sport and level of experience. The fact that your profile is empty could be part (if not all) of the problem. The on-screen profile is the first place I look when I see that someone has replied to one of my posts. Who replied, and whether I know that person, will almost always determine how I reply. I'm just suggesting that you fill out your profile, or sign your posts "Jan Meyer, USPA BOD." T.I.N.S.

Actually, if you're talking about George W., he was actually born in Connecticut. That's just to make sure he doesn't get a Native Texan license plate set. T.I.N.S.

I'll second the JC Penny idea - I got a nice black Claiborne suit there a couple of years ago for less than $200. This was off the rack, and they had tuxedo jackets and pants as well, so no waiting for pants. They usually have racks and racks of jackets, next to racks and racks of slacks. T.I.N.S.

I've asked for a pair of Gatorz, winter skydiving gloves, a power tool, a big-ass gear bag, and Body Glove boxer briefs. T.I.N.S.

So it looks like I'll be at Skydive Dallas the weekend before Christmas. The point is to try out some extra altitude, you know? I might visit Caddo Mills afterward. Thanks for the tip. T.I.N.S.

My wife and I will be headed for a tiny-ass town called Sulphur Bluff, which is about 85 miles east of Dallas. We have some land down there, and that's where my mom's family is from. Big fun. I'm not sure when we're leaving, but I'm definitely going to try to get some jumps in at Skydive Dallas, since it's only about an hour away from my parents' house. I'm thinking it will be the friday and/or saturday after Christmas, but maybe the weekend before, as well. It will likely be my first off-home DZ jump, as well as my first time jumping from a turbine, so I'll likely be bringing a case or two of select malted barley pop with me. Any Skydive Dallas folks out there willing to jump with a 42-year-old noob bearing gifts? I am a native Texan, by the way. T.I.N.S.

In this order: 1) Check for traffic, and use rears to steer clear if necessary. 2) Check altitude, and take a deep breath. 3) Pop Toggles, canopy check. 4) Aim for the target. 5) Collapse the slider. I know it's pretty "textbook", but it works for me. Obviously, if I'm dealing with high winds when I open, this routine changes a bit. After my opening, I pay close attention to my drift. T.I.N.S.

Him: "Is that your first jump certificate?" Her: "Yeah. Manifest told me to go find the wingsuit static line instructor." T.I.N.S.