topdocker

What's wrong with being superficial, at least you're easy to read! top Jump more, post less!

Men tell the truth..... top Jump more, post less!

He stared at her shoes instead of his own? top Jump more, post less!

kinda like being a couple minutes late when you need to pull! top Jump more, post less!

See if it still has the attachment point/ring for the stock bridle and d-bag and switch at that point. The topskin retract at terminal on a nose-heavy firelight can be very damaging to the canopy. Plus, a d-bag swinging around in a whirly is just an anchor waiting to latch onto something... top Jump more, post less!

No matter what, it would "land." top Jump more, post less!

I hear that on the hard reserve openings! In 1997, I had a reserve open so hard it bent the grommets on the slider resulting in a grounding of my reserve, until I could get a new slider sent!! I remember the opening being so hard I actually looked down to see if my shoes stayed on... top Jump more, post less!

I end up being the genius that gets to test jump a new CRW canopy right off the drawing board. We plan several intentional cutaway jumps as we are unsure of its flight and landing charecteristics. I get the local rigger to loan me a rig set up with two mains and a reserve. After we have done five or six flights with this canopy, I'm getting pretty comfortable with it and feel we can land it, but we felt one more cutaway would be smarter, just to make sure all the bugs are worked out. As it would figure, when I manifested to do the test jump, I hadn't realized the gear wasn't quite set up and packed, so we ended up hurrying a little to make the load, I really wanted this last cutaway jump out of the way today, so I could rig to another container overnight and do landings the next day. Off I go at 8000', fly that bad boy around, stall it, spin it, do whatever I can to it- rock solid the whole time. At 3500', I dock underneath my best friend, he hooks in, and gets the p/c to carry the test canopy back and drop at a lower altitude. When he is ready, he signals and I go for the intentional cutaway, just about 3000' and all hell breaks loose!!There is a handle on each riser that you pull to the cutaway of the test canopy, and the left one came out and relesed, but the right one did not...*&%*&*@@!!!! I am ripped out of the top guys grip, spinning wildly on my back and am trying to figure out the best course of action. My pea brain decides chopping the second main will help the most, since the test canopy risers are attached to three rings on the second main risers. After I chop the second main, I can throw out and release both of them. But after a while I realize I can't reach the cutaway handle with my right hand, because the slightly too large harness has rotated enough that the reserve handle is in the middle of my chest. With my left hand I reach around behind my right armpit and use my right arm to pull my left even further onto my backside, I managed to just get the cutaway handle out. Video confirms an eight second spin. The spinning stopped, I fell a short bit, the spinning started just a bit and then I was back in freefall. By now I'm starting to get a little groundrush and just fire the reserve. The reserve opens cleanly and a whole crapload of lines land all over me!!!! The second main is in the dbag still in the pack tray, but the test canopy pulled all the lines out when I cut them both away. Its a freaking mess, but at least its flying and steerable!! Managed to stand up the reserve in the peas, and drink a whole bunch of Jack that night. Outcome: Landed a beautifully flying test canopy the next day. My wife banned me from using the intentional cutaway rig anymore (like I was planning to do that AGAIN?). All testing is done way higher now! No such thing as a routine test!!!! top Jump more, post less!

It sure beats landing on the Hwy! No, it doesn't. The highway only has cars going 80 mph. The vineyard has poles that will impale you up the wazoo, with wires strung between them that will slice you to ribbons. I'd rather chance the highway. You might change your tune when you see these areas in person. While the vineyards are not ideal, they offer fairly wide dirt roads in and through them, few trees, and the stakes run in an orderly fashion with room in between them to land (if absolutely necessary). The State Road 99 offers limited shoulders of gravel and junk, a median of concrete K-rail and asphalt with very little room between you and the vehicles, lots of large fast moving tractor trailers with rearview mirrors that would love to snag a just-landed canopy, and the road runs perpendicular to the prevailing winds. Oh, and the highway has a few power lines that run across it as well. I've jumped there over twenty years and would never take the highway over the grapestakes. There are lots of places to land that are not grapefied, but really you should just land in the main landing area or the student field, then you don't have to make any decisions! top Jump more, post less!

I think you should owe a case of beer when your number of posts on DZ.com is greater than the number of jumps you have done! top Jump more, post less!

Dental work really sucks!!! I could be out jumping all day, but I gotta deal with some patient who only comes in when they are seriously hurting, brushes with a doughnut, smokes unfiltered Camels nonstop, and had an onion sandwich on his way to get his tooth fixed on Saturday after paging me at the airport. Then complains that it costs so much.... Am I reading this thread wrong??!! Actually, I really enjoy doing dentistry, even after twenty plus years, I still enjoy the days. Hope you have a good experience, and remember that you can do more good with a brush and floss than I can do with a drill and scaler! top Jump more, post less!

I'm waiting for the first person to admit they got their parents Snuggies!!! top Jump more, post less!

No! Then they will expect it from everybody who lands there! top Jump more, post less!

i'll bring it up at the next BOD meeting! top Jump more, post less!

best skydiving movie ever! top Jump more, post less!

Cuz you jump?! Cuz you do CRW?!! top Jump more, post less!

I hear it on the low-rent, low-brow, no good kids when a parent dies. My dad remarried ten years or so, both had older kids. She passed away three years ago just before Christmas, and my stepsister went into my parents house the day my step mom died and basically looted the place!!! She even took the frickin' Christmas tree! Looked like a scene out of "grinch." Luckily, probate caught up with her and she had to pay my Dad for what she took, and my brother took her to small claims court and won! Ah, family, these old tales just warm the heart.... top Jump more, post less!

Jumpers know how to get out of the plane, skydivers know what they are doing after that.

It's a good idea to call all your friends and family to let them know EXACTLY what you think of them. Speak your mind, don't hold back! top Jump more, post less!

I had a buddy in so cal beg for a video of some of our crw dives so he could learn some of our techniques. I packed up a few of our practice tapes we had laying around, but threw in a porn video with a team label over the real one. I hadn't counted on the fact that he wanted to show his co-workers "what I do all weekend long." Apparently, he had it on the big screen in the conference room, and he couldn't get to the vcr very quickly! Luckily he had a good sense of humor about the whole thing. I never did get my tapes back.... Jump more, post less!

Me, upper left doing the topdock. Hope the camera didn't make my butt look big. top Jump more, post less!

You have floater bars on your pick up! you can remember everyone on your first eight-way dive and the color of their jumpsuits, but you have to think about your kids names. top Jump more, post less!

Tivo ditto for saturday top Jump more, post less!

It's on Thursday and Friday nights, too. top Jump more, post less!

It's too windy when the experienced jumpers don't even get their gear out of their cars/lockers! top Jump more, post less!