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Well, that actually sounds better than Pork Rinds, but wouldn't the person owning the nipples object to hot melted chocolate being poured on them? What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

Well let me know how mine compare with hers. If it's the right answer, I may be convinced to make you some more. But then again, if your Mom found out that you preferred mine, she probably wouldn't make them for you any more. Quite a quandary! What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

Nope, not pregnant, I always craved grapefruit juice when I was pregnant. ...and it's not too late either, thankyouverymuch. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

...would you buy if you were at the store right now? I just came back from the store with a bag of Pork Rinds. I haven't bought a bag of Pork Rinds in probably 20 years. I have no idea why I bought them now. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

I need a Daddy!!!

Oh pardon me! I didn't see the "Little Boys Only" sign on the treehouse door. Please forgive me. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

Well spoken... Thanks for posting that.

I just opened a card with glitter here at the office. Now my black jacket and pants are sparkling. But just think of the mess that the person who sends those cards have to deal with? What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

I'm jealous... Give her a big hug for me too, wouldya?

What I was told was that the orgasm renders her incapable of pulling. Last jump her JM had to pull her cause her eyes were rolled in the back of her head... Sheezh... I suppose that would be the female version of premature ejaculation! What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

she cannot complete AFF because everytime she jumps she has an orgasm QuoteWhat does the one have to do with the other? What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

When I first started reading the story, that's what I thought she was trying to do! I've been around skydivers too long! What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

Phew! With that title I thought sure you had changed your mind about carrying a weapon! What a horrible time of year to be towed. But please stop banging your head against the wall. That's gonna hurt even worse! What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

So that the space underneath your mess will be cleaned. Housekeepers don't pick up mess and clean under anything. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

Unfortunately, you aren't my boss who wants the cards hand addressed. Actually, I agree with him that it's a nice personal touch. Our clients pay us a bunch of money. A hand addressed card is the least we can do.

That's not my decision. I don't own the company. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

I stopped sending my own Christmas cards out when my company decided 25 years ago that I should hand address a card to each of our clients. This year I addressed 600. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

Yeah, it's kinda like missing socks. My theory is that they magically turn into wire hangers and tangle on the bottom of closet floors. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

I must be really lazy. I love the remote control ceiling fans.

Ever think about getting a longer chain for the ceiling-fan light? I can lay in bed and turn my fan/light on with my toes using my long chain! What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

That's perfectly fine too. Your family will have to manage their own expectations and deal with your absence. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

I heard the things that I wrote on the radio this morning from a psychologist. I thought they were great a perspective on a time of year that's hard to get perfect!

Few people have Norman Rockwell painting lives. Most families have some communication problems, tension with family, history of problems, roles one is expected to play. Society tells you that you are supposed to be with your happy family on Christmas, and that you are supposed to be happy on New Years Eve. When you assume that others are doing these nice things, you feel bad. When asked, people say that their holiday was good so no one realizes that everyone struggles. The holidays are hard for people who don’t have the perfect situation. Christmas is just a day. The 26th of December will come quickly. Even if you sleep through the day or watch rented movies because you don’t have anyone to spend it with, the 26th will be here tomorrow. Your life is not a disaster if your holiday is not perfect. Manage your expectations. Don’t be surprised when Uncle John does the thing that Uncle John does every year. You can choose not to be upset and let it go. Set realistic expectations and don’t be surprised by old familiar patterns. Anticipate that there might be a few bumps. Your worth is not determined by how your holidays go. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday.

Turning 30 is optional. Now's the time to start having anniversaries. This is the first anniversary of your 29th birthday. Happy First Anniversary! Now go buy some beer and cheer up.

But, but, but... my arms won't fit around everyone. What if I just gave you a one-armed hug back instead of this group hug thingy that you have goin' on.