Rhonda66

Hi - I know there was a place in Cancun when we went there, but we didn't try it out since we went scuba diving. I don't know where you live or where your home DZ is, but we absolutely love Skydive Arizona. We went once a few years ago to try it out and we haven't looked back since because we liked it so much though it is probably just too hot there to vacation in the summer months if you're going soon... Rhonda

Are you absolutely positive that he is sneaking around and lying about it? If so, then you know you don't need to be asking us what the problem is because it has nothing to do with skydiving - we ARE listening and we're trying to help you out, but of course only you know what the real problems are - to answer the initial question then - yes, skydiving can be addictive BUT not to the point that it should break up your family, especially if you are willing to let him jump and you are supportive - from our point of view then from what you've told us, there shouldn't be any problems here so the problem seems to be more deeply rooted in your marriage... Rhonda

It was too artsy and slowed down for me, but it all depends on your taste. The videography is top notch, but I agree that the price is a bit steep.... Rhonda

Hi - My name is Rhonda Baker. I'm a senior English major at Wellesley College and a customer service manager for a credit card company.

Man, you actually had my eyes tearing by the end of this post.... Congrats. - you deserve it a hundred times over - great job :) Rhonda

Hi - I feel so bad for you about this.. I know to an extent how you're feeling though. My fiance started jumping a few years ago when we went and made a tandem jump together. He got hooked right away and signed up for AFF and I didn't like it at all and couldn't understand why in the world he'd want to do it again, but I supported him anyway. He spent every waking moment going to the DZ and every other moment talking about it...I felt like I meant nothing to him anymore, but I didn't give up and I went to the DZ with him as much as I could and that was fine with him. I was bored as hell most of the time, but I stuck by it because I knew it was important to him. It really sucked to feel as if I came second in his life to skydiving and nothing I could say would make him stop even for a minute. Yes, it bothered me when he jumped with other women and then I realized that I guess I was just sort of jealous because he had all of these new friends in his life and my life was the same old, same old. The more I nagged him about doing stuff with me instead of jumping, the more he'd want to jump... ...so, after watching him jump so many times, I thought there has to be something about this sport that makes him want to do it so much so I decided to give it another chance. I got hooked after my second tandem and we started jumping together and I'll tell you that nothing has ever brought us closer together... ....but I know that you may never want to jump again and that is understandable too and he should realize this. My point is that once I gave in and stopped bothering him about being at the DZ so much, it wasnt' such a big deal anymore. We go and jump together now maybe once or twice a month, but skydiving isn't his entire life anymore. I realized that the problem in the relationship wasn't really the skydiving - the problem was that I wasn't letting him have his own life separate from me and it made me very jealous - I accused him of things that he didn't do and I thought he was lying to me about who he was jumping with and what he was doing. He did stretch the truth a few times, but I think like someone else said above that in our case it was because he just didn't want to get me worked up over nothing and he didn't want to go through the 100 questions ordeal - do you know how annoying it is to be asked, "where have you been?", "Who was there?", "who did you jump with?" every time you get home from the DZ - especially if you are completely faithful and you just want to jump? I know that it made me look like an insecure, jealous girlfriend and that certianly isn't going to help any realtionship. In your situation, it isn't right of course if he is indeed lying and you know this for a fact and spending the night at the DZ is a little rough, but I think you're right that the problem is something other than the skydiving and you are probably the only person who knows what the problem really is - even if you don't want to admit it now...if it wasn't skydiving, it would probably be something else - now my fiance has taken up model aircraft flying and he wants to be at the airfield every night - and I'm just gonna sit back and not say a word because just like the jumping, it will get old eventually. I also started flying the planes -Hell, if you can't beat em', join em' - it works every time. I think it's all fine and dandy to say that skydiving is addictive and no one can make you quit, etc., but if someone in your life is really important to you, then you have got to be willing to compromise to an extent. Your husband is both a husband and a father and you are his reponsibility - he needs to make sure that you are happy and taken care of to a reasonable extent - if you are being totally unreasonable that's one thing, but if you are trying to accept his new hobby and he doesn't want anything to do with you, then there is definitely another problem - have the two of you tried talking? I know this is so corny, but if the communication has broken down between the two of you then you can just forget it... How long has he been jumping now? Could it be that the novelty just hasn't worn off yet? I don't know anyone who is at the DZ 24/7 and has nothing else to do in life so I doubt that he is so "addicted" that he can't spend some time with you AND fit in plenty of time to jump... Well, there's my $1.02 - I wish you lots of luck - your husband should get his act straight though considering you have two children together... Rhonda

Great job Michele and good luck on the graduation jump! I've heard about this exit now a few times - is this something new they have added to one of the levels of the AFF program? It sounds like a great idea to make you go unstable because once you've gotten yourself out of it once, it is so much easier to deal with in the future. I think I might try an exit like that on my next jump just for the fun of it :) Rhonda

Who cares - If she doesn't skydive, she's no good for anyone here... :) Rhonda

Hiya - Kimmer was asking the same kind of question in her post and all I can say is, what are you afraid of when you're in the air that is making you tense up? I had a hard time relaxing during AFF and one of my JM's told me that the air isn't going to hurt me and that changed my outlook entirely. Don't think about the opening and the landing until the time comes because that is most likely what you're worrying about - you have almost a full minute just to think about relaxing and flying your body until you get it right. No one is forcing you to jump - I assume you're doing it because you like it like the rest of us so just remember that. Don't think about malfunctions and what you're going to do when you're landing until those times come - go over your emergency procedures and be ready for that day when/if it comes to cutaway and pull your reserve, but do not think about it consciously on every jump. You know by now that it's most likely not going to happen so don't waste your time worrying about it and if the air isn't going to hurt you, then why worry in freefall? Just put all of the fears aside - it took me a long time to do it and I was like a two-by-four in the air for a long time because of it. You don't want to be that way because it really just takes all of the fun out of the dive and it will take you longer to learn new things if you get hung up on it for too long. Smiling does help too - and think about that awesome feeling you'll have when you get that perfect relaxed arch.. Best of luck. Rhonda

Hiya Kimmer - I know how it feels when you blow an AFF jump - hell, it took me 12 jumps to get through it. It will be worth it though when you go back to Perris and you nail that Level 4 next time and before you know it you'll be done with AFF and then the real fun can begin. Relaxing is by far the best thing you can do. I know it's hard to do, but once you get rid of the anxiousness and the brain lock associated with the fear, then you can really concentrate on the task at hand. I was so pissed with myself too every time I failed a level and I wanted to give up and forget the whole thing so many times, but the funny thing was that I knew I was hooked for life when everytime I was away from the DZ I felt as if I should be jumping and I'd look at the sky and think what a perfect day it would be to make a jump. I know you must do the same thing - I know that you must be mad because you feel like you let yourself down like I did and that the old-timers and the people in videos make it look so easy that you can't understand why it isn't, but just remember that any skydive that you walk away from is a good one - you pulled, you landed and therefore you are on the right track. How much do you think you can possibly learn after just a few jumps? Take it easy on yourself girl....you're gonna be psyched when you're cleared for that high solo and you're halfway there already! Maybe this will help you to relax and maybe it won't, but one of my JM's said this to me and it changed my outlook 100% - The air isn't going to hurt you...remember that...by now you are pretty comfortable with the gear you've been jumping and have some faith in it so just think that the air isn't going to hurt you when you leave the plane - you have almost a full minute to do nothing but think about flying your body and getting it right. What are you so worried about when you leave the plane? Don't be thinking a full minute ahead to your opening and eventually to the landing - Let it come in phases and you'll be fine - it definitely helped me to relax more and get through AFF - now I laugh at the way I brainlocked back then and how I made it so much harder for myself than it had to be... Good luck! Rhonda

Actually, it was my boss' 51st birthday today - we just gave him his card...no anal retentive cell mates here that's for sure... Rhonda

I've never jumped at a DZ where they looked at my logbook so what good is that going to do? It doesn't seem to be standard practice to look at a person't logbook as long as your packing card is in date and you have a license - that's all I've ever been asked for... Maybe USPA or someone should make up a black list of some sort where DZOs can look up people whoa re new to their DZ to see if they have been banned from another DZ....??? Then the new DZ can make the decision as to whether or not they will let that person jump at their DZ - frankly, I dont' want any of those people in the air with me, but on the other hand, doesn't everyone deserve a second chance depending on what exactly they did wrong? Tough question... Rhonda

I still say skip it altogether - the guy is a whacko no matter how you look at it.... Rhonda

Sinister - we're automatically going to knock ten postings off of your total every time we see you - It may read enthusiast, but we know you're really just a Newbie...lol Actually, you're lucky you have anything - I think I still just have a () :( Rhonda

Just don't jump if you're stuffed up because you will live to regret it - I did it a few weeks ago and it took a nearly a week for my ears to get back to normal so that I could hear again...it sucked.... Rhonda

Hi - Check out the "skydiving and family" post that Macaulay started.... Rhonda

The guy sounds like an egotistic fruit loop to me - Yeah, that's great if it costs you $250 to go to the hospital when you'll probably get paid $250 a month (probably less since he won't even pay for your transporation) - plus add that to your $60-$120/month for lodging and you'd basically be on the street pretty soon - lol. And he won't reveal his identity to "keep things simple" What an ass! I can't imagine what sort of Internet sites they come up with - kiddie porn? drug trafficing? While the exotic aspect sounds alluring, it's obvious that that's all this job has to offer and that's what he's hoping some sucker is lured in by - Why is he in the US now if Thailand is so awesome??? Well, on the brighter side, how desperate are you for a Thai "mate" who'll move right in with you??? Lol Good luck dude. Rhonda

Isn't this like cheating?

Um, 9

Bush - Come Down & Zen Bon Jovi - It's my Life Van Halen - Jump, Right Now & Dreams Creed - Higher Three Doors Down - Kryptonite Buckcherry - Lit up Powerman 5000 - Ready to Go Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird I like all of the Sublime stuff they used in the Chronicle III video too... Rhonda

Yeah, of course I watch out for everyone else as well as best I can, but I specifically search for his canopy as soon as I'm open...I used to watch for everyone's else's canopy to open more though when I was just starting out. If there was some specific situation that I could help out with once I'm under canopy such as watching where people land after a bad spot or following a cut away canopy, then I would definitely do that, but what am I really going to be able to do if someone has a total or something? It's bad enough to worry about my fiance, but if I worry about everyone else as well then I'm going to wind up quitting the sport. I try to think that they know what they are doing and most likely they are going to be fine. I think we all watch out for each other, but watching from the ground or under canopy when someone has a total certainly isn't going to help that person no matter how much you worry for them... Rhonda

I know exactly what you mean Emma. Everytime my fiance and I jump together I look down after I'm open to find him just to make sure that he's open too - For some reason I worry more about him than I do about myself, but maybe that's common - I don't know. I've had dreams where I watched him burn in while I'm on the ground watching and it was awful and seemed so real, but maybe that is because I watched him cutaway from a baglock while I was a student... Rhonda

I love skydiving, but my family will always come first because we are very close. I'm fortunate that my parents accept my jumping though I've been doing it for four years and they've only seen me do it in videos. My fiance is a jumper as well, my two sisters have made tandem jumps as has one of my cousin's and one of my fiance's sisters plus some friends that we've managed to convince. I come from a family of "risk takers" so I don't think it surprised my family at all when I took up skydiving. They do worry about us, but they have never told me not to do it - They know that it's given me a confidence like I never had before in my life.... I have thought about what I would do if we have children someday and I honestly think I would have to quit jumping then, at least for awhile, because I wouldn't want to put myself in any more danger than would be completely necessary with a baby at home - it's hard to say what I would really do until the time came and I know plenty of people with kids who do jump, but I think that would be the end of it for me.... Blues, Rhonda

Hey Michele - Don't worry about it and do not quit. You are doing just fine. I have 200 jumps and I landed downwind last Friday in front of everybody and planted my face in the dirt and everyone was like, "are you okay?" and I was fine, but talk about humiliating! Some jumps are always going to be better than others and all I remember of AFF was that it was sheer hell (took me 12 jumps), but if you don't give up it really does get better...you'll reach the point where you won't even have to think about what you're doing - you'll just do it naturally... Good luck! Rhonda

ditto. Rhonda