kimmer

My name is Kim Rapp. I am a senior at Long Beach State University and I work at a lousy coffee shop for jump money. I'm also going to school to be a firefighter/paramedic.

I didn't want to post this because I feel kind of dumb being so excited about my AFF jumps, but there are a few of you out there who said you were curious about how my second try at level 4 AFF went. So here it goes. I got to the dz and Michele drove up at the exact same time. She started telling me right away to relax and all about her fight, fight, or flow thing. Not quite sure I understand, but I smiled and nodded anyways. I requested one of my favorite JM's, waited forever, but I finally got him. We trained in the harness room and he teased me for crying after my last failed jump. I told him to shut up and he just laughed. Then I layed on those rolly things with a pole across my shoulders to get me to stop torking my body on my turns. Dude, my back hurt so much. Walking to the plane was not as agonizing this time till my JM made me walk and sit by myself for a few minutes. Where the hell did he have to go that was so important?! Didn't he see I was freaking out? Who is going to hold my hand?! He finally came back, gave me a hug, and dragging my feet, I boarded the plane. It was the first time I sat in front of the door. I was the only AFF and there was about 6 or 7 tandems. It was really cool but, oh my god, so super scary to see the ground just get smaller and smaller. Yeah-guess what I never realized till now?-being so close to the door means I have go first. Oh fuck. Please let the tandems go first! Why rush things, you know? My JM was so quiet on the plane this time. He was scaring the hell out of me. Why wasn't he holding my hand and making me smile and laugh to forget about throwing myself out of a plane?! All I could think of was, well, nothing. I just sat there twiddling my thumbs for 90% of the ride. So now I am babbling. I'll get to my point. I get to the door, say oh shit, and I'm out. Arching like a mad woman, my JM lets go of me and I stay with him. Kick ass. I'm smiling the whole way and my JM is just smiling back and giving me the thumbs up, telling me good job. Yeah-I rock (tee hee). I only started spinning once, but got control and did good. My chute pulled great (the line twists fixed themselves). I just smiled and played as much under my canopy as I could on the way down. My JM said I had to land by myself despite how much I was screaming no at him from the air. "Dammit-why won't he listen to me? I don't want to land by myself" is all I could think of while making my final approach. I landed relatively well though. Stood up, then fell, but got right back up again. I jumped up and down, did my happy dance, and screamed with joy like there was no tomorrow. My JM just started laughing. I did it. I passed my level 4 AFF. I have never been so happy. Got back to the school, took off my gear, and hugged as many people as I could (Sin, other JM's, riggers, tandems, etc). I squeezed the living daylights out of my JM and even kissed him probably a thousand times on his cheek. My random hugging probably annoyed some, but I was too ecstatic to care. Its just level 4, I know, big deal. But I was so pleased with myself. I go back Friday to do level 5. Lets hope those turns don't come back to haunt me and screw me up again. Thanks again for the encouragement guys. Know what? You guys were right-relaxing and smiling really does help up there. Happy skydiving. Luv you all Kimmer :)

See big sis, I told you that you would kick some ass up there. I am so happy for you and stoked that you see you CAN jump without Ed. Wish I could have seen you land though. Great job on level 6-hope the good luck will pass on to me for my jump! :) You've definitely got the flow down girl. I am so proud of you. Luv your "lil' sis," Kimmer :)

OK Michele-I posted about my jump like you told me to. We'll see what happens :) Guys, I had my first attempt at my level 4 AFF today. I was so close to not jumping today, but I had to. Just got that nagging feeling of being pissed off at myself if I didn't jump. Know what I am talking about? I am always nervous, but this time, I was literally shaking and ready to burst into tears before I even had my gear on. I just knew I was screwed. My JM was fantastic and can't even describe how much I appreciate his help. He did everything he could on the ground and on the plane to make me relax, but it didn't work. By the time I was out the door, my head was too far up my ass to even do a decent arch. I was spinning, couldn't find a focus point, or get my damn arms to move. My attempts at banked turns went straight to hell. (You'd think that 3 times on level 3 with those damn turns would have done something!) I was so disgusted with myself in the air I just stopped trying. What the hell happened-I have absolutely no clue. Luckily my chute pulled and all was great. Even stood my landing. Whoopty freakin do. My jump was still terrible. My confidence is definitely taking a beating with all these AFF jumps that I keep failing. Wonderful friends and my JM tried to comfort me on the ground, but my anger with myself made me ignore them all. (Sorry about that by the way guys). Even debriefing with my awesome JM was bad. I even started crying a bit. What the hell?! What a chick I am. That's a quick summary of my miserable level 4. I don't exactly know what, but I am sure I learned something from this jump. I am furious with myself for screwing up so bad. I'm going out to Perris again on Sunday to put myself through this hell again. Wish me luck. By the way, thanks to all of you who responded to my other post about needing encouragement. It was my first time doing so (at Michele's urging) and I couldn't even imagine how many incredible people would take the time to write and support me. Your words mean more to me than you know. Luv you all. Kimmer :)

I'm having a difficult time getting support from those close to me about my skydiving. Anyone have any words of encouragement for me, a beginner skydiving chick? Thanks! Luv you all.