feuergnom

would you have any links/stories etc? The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

correct me if I am wrong but IIRC bill booth does the same for his systems although he didn't do it via a SB - and nobody gives a **** either The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

It’s in the woods. A monkey is sitting in a tree. Preparing a shot of heroin. Just as he’s getting ready for his hit, the rabbit comes along. “Hey monkey, drugs are evil, drugs are evil, lets go jogging instead!” The monkey puts the syringe away and off they go. After a while they meet the bear who’s just getting ready to get a goooood dose of cocaine. After all he’s a big bear. “Hey bear, drugs are evil, drugs are evil. Why don’t you join me and monkey for jogging. You know joggingis nice and healthy and way better than these veil drugs. Come with us…” Finally he convinces the bear and off they go A little later they meet the lion, who’s rolling a big, fat joint reeeeeeaaaaaal easy. “Hey lion, drop the roach, lets go jogging, drugs are evil…” as he’s babbling away the lion finishes rolling his joint, leans over and hits the rabbit making him fly far away. “Why did you hit the poor rabbit”, asks the monkey Lions answer: “I’ve had it - everytime the fucking rabbit took some ecstasy everybody has to go jogging” The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

I think you owe me a new keyboard edit to add joke: st. peters on duty when he hears a know on heavens door. he opens, outside is´this guy st. peter: who are you? guy: I'm Hu..... *Pooof* - he vanishes st. peter shaks his head, closes the door. just as he's shuffling off: knockknock again.same guy outside St. peter: so who are you: guy: I'm Hu.... *Poooof* - he vanishes again same thing happens twice more. st. peter walks off real angry and meet archangel gabriel. gabriel: why are you so pissed off? st. peter: there's this guy knocking, as soon as I open nad ask for his name he just say "I'm Hu... and vanishes with a pooof..." says gabriel: Nevermind, thats Hubert, he's just receiving CPR" The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

and that is about all that matters for mr. baumgartner The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

same theme, different version: from the time we are strapped together we do everything together - except for one thing: when you see a bright light at the end of a tunnel, don't follow me. you hear me? you walk towars the bright light.... The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

Two cannibals eating a clown.... says one to the other: don't you think that this one tasted funny???? The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

ok, I didn't get your point - my bad

/jerk mode on/ search is your friend /jerk mode off/ The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

since he/she didn't ask for FJC after the first tandem the Dz took the opportunity to make some fast bucks selling him all the tandems he wanted to do. so whats the problem /sarcasm off/ The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

15th jump and going through industrial haze with ice in it? sounds interesting The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

What happened? banned for lifetime The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

When sequential RW (now formation skydiving) was just getting started in the mid 1970s it started in ST, AZ, CA, TX, KS, IL western USA. Jumpsuits were small. Most skydivers wore boots. Belly reserves and ripcords were the norm. Of course, good intelligent, cool skydivers never got caught dead. We believed that until Jim Heydorn bounced with a double total. Poof, the myth of the right stuff vanished. If Heydorn could bounce, ANYBODY can bounce! Thus, the brighter pioneer sequential types began to notice that the quality/quantity of people getting killed by impact appeared random... good skydivers and bad skydivers both bounced about as high. We noticed that it was not that He screwed up but rather that fate is the hunter and there is a real element of chance in skydiving. We learned that the bright blue friendly sky was balanced, yin/yang style, by a dark foreboding ground. Since the ground snuffed the life it was/is death. Unsafe practices, as a group were termed black death. The exit count used by my 8-way teams and several others was Blue sky/ Black Death. Sport parachuting became Sport Death. While the Black Death thing was an insider thing which translated to Hey yall, lets avoid danger up there it later got adopted and/or banned by folks who did not and do not understand what it means. So just as goodbye means God be with you Blue sky/black death is a salute to the sky/earth that means something like lovely up there/watch out crazy pat '96 I remember reading the story of heydorn (your page? can't remember...) and that about summed up many things and still is one of the most intense things i have read so far on skydiving The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

you forgot the option "I don't give a fuck cause I've got a normal, boring, everyday hetero-sexlife" The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

finally i really know what being pathetic is all about The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

haven't told that story so far - but in my fifth year of jumping tandems i guess it's time. it was my first season, the very first day of jumping passengers and there is this rather strange couple (you know, sometimes people give you this awkward gutfeeling). I was scheduled to jump the guy but his gf decides she wants to make the jump with me so we switch passengers. ride to alti is fine although she seems nervous. we gear up, other TI'S start walkingout the tailgate, we are last. the moment we leave the plane she starts running in the air and waving her arms like a windmill - guess what: I do my best to get stable in drogueless freefall. hell i get her legs, get her arms - but how do I get the F****** drogu out caus as soon as I release grips its hell once more... ok, we get a quite moment i toss the drogue and pull the release and put an end to that ride. as soon as I pull the release I feel my new frap-hat leaving my head - FUCK there goes my protrack never to be found again "You pulled a bit early didn't you" the lady says "Well I think you didn't feel quite comfortable so we're better off enjoying the view" I reply cursing in silence over my lost protrack Then she engages me in some strange conversation Her: "You know my last boyfriend also made a jump" Me (all interested): "Okay, which dz?" Her: "He jumped of the top of a church" Me: WTF? Her: Do you believe in God Me (Thinking: Fuck what is this all about?): Which one? Her: The only one! Me: Well who the only one is depends on your point of view (Thinking again: WTF is going on???) Her: would you like to say a prayer? Me: Whatfor? Her: To ask God to make our parachute land as good as it opened... Me (thinkin: Help! Get this nutjob off of me ): I think i can handle this without help from whoever is above... the rest of the canopyride we had an interesting discussion on why i HAD to make SOME turns to get us back to the DZ and five years later i still think that was the longest ride i had under a tandem main till an uneventfull landing. boy was I glad when she finally left in the evening after a beer I thought that I had my fair share of the everyday whackjob early in my career. Up to now I sure had some interesting people to take with me, but the amount of problems and bullshit I had to deal with on that one is still unsurpassed

fixed it for ya The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

fukker - you owe me a nju keybord The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

if anyone should ever tell you that you are insane just because you find it's fun to jump from perfectly good planes you've got to show this video edit: if you wonder where this was shot: grimselpass/switzerland The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

we're living in interesting times, aren't we The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

I guess this will delay the 2012 target for many of the Eastern European nations to join. (Poland, oddly, is doing pretty well in this current state of affairs) probably yes. as much as I like the idea of a unified europe without borders and a strong economic bond between the countries I still think the expansion/taking in more countris came way to early. we've been far to euphoric and optimistic and the way this continent (still) has to go in the near future doesn't seem to bright at all. to many questions are unanswered: will europe be able to speak with one voice (read: foreign affairs), who should take leadership (will there ever be something like a president for all? do we even want this???), how should things be dealt with on a local level (legislative waterhead based in brussels?), how are we going to deal with uprising and resurrection of nationalism (hungary comes to my mind but i guess there are other places as well that like to blame "europe" for homegrown problems) this list could be longer -so you see: greece is just on part of a much greater complex puzzle The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

from a euro perspective: the euro-zone grew (imo) to quick ánd without the homework being done properly. bad point being that even the driving forces behind the whole project (germany & france) weren't abiding to the set rules all the time, and countries like italy, greece, spain and portugal had many fiscal & economical problems that weren't dealt with properly in the first place (read: before the union started). but once a system like the euro is up and running it would be suicidal (again mho) to try and go back - to much would be lost and to little gained. besides: the whole world faces massive economic problems and I guess its about high time that we finally overcome the dictate of everlasting growth. just some weeks ago I had quite an intersting read, published in the mid-seventies - the report of the club of rome. it was astonishing how accurate the problems we are facing right now were on the table nearly 40 years ago The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

to help the wounded on battlefields here no matter which side they are on was the number one reason the red cross was founded in the first place. The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

fukker read: I don't see myself jumping this weekend with a forecast like that The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666

getting lost, suffocating, drowning with the amount of rain we currently have in europe drowning seems quite a possibility The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666