Telling your family

[Akey 0]

I first thought about skydiving around 2 years ago. I did a tandem in november (family knew about it), however i have only just booked my aff (for mid june, it is an accelerated course doing all levels in one week). Anyway, the thing is, although my family have always known i was interested, when i told them i was going they didn't seem too keen. Infact phases such as 'is there anything we can do to make you reconsider' came out. I was just wondering if you have any advice about how to deal with these kinda situations. I have completly made up my mind, i did several months ago, but i do wish they could chill a bit. No matter what i say about how far the safty of the sport has developed over the years they still appear to view it as a sport for people with a death wish.

[airtwardo 6]

If your family has any knowledge of the sport at all...

Telling them you skydive won't be nearly as hard as telling them you're DATING a skydiver!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[countzero 7]

when i told my mom that i wanted to go skydiving for my birthday back in december, she got nervous and asked if i was sure and was concerned about the danger. so i did research on the training course and sat down with her and went through what they teach and the safety procedures and how there are instructors actually hanging on to you that can pull for you if need be. this helped calm her.

now i'm going for my level 6 in 2 weeks. she dosen't get as nervous now that she sees how much i enjoy it and i've show her the EP info in my SIM. i still call her when i'm back on the ground after a jump so she knows i'm safe.

diamonds are a dawgs best friend

[cocheese 0]

Don't tell them until you know it's something you want to do for a very long time.

Then say: "It's something I'm going to do for a very long time."

[Orange1 0]

Quote

Don't tell them until you know it's something you want to do for a very long time.

Ah, but that way you run the risk of them finding out when they discover you're in hospital with a couple of broken bones.

Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun.

[Akey 0]

Quote

Don't tell them until you know it's something you want to do for a very long time.

Too late, i already told them. I feel like i could have broken my Dads heart, he looked really upset. He was in a push bike accident 2 years ago, ended up in ICU and can't walk like he used to. I think this makes the whole thing alot worse. I guess i'll have to keep trying to explain things etc. Hopefully they will grow to accept it, although i don't think they'll ever be happy bout it...

[cocheese 0]

If you are happy then they'll be happy.

[JustaBill 0]

Invite them out to the DZ to talk to your instructors. I did that with my parents and it really eased their concerns.

------------------------------------------------
I've done so much, with so little, for so long
I'm now expected to do everything with nothing forever

[bob.dino 0]

Quote

Hopefully they will grow to accept it, although i don't think they'll ever be happy bout it...

Yup. Parents always worry about their kids; there doesn't seem to be a lot we can do about it...

[yamtx73 0]

Quote

Quote

Hopefully they will grow to accept it, although i don't think they'll ever be happy bout it...

Yup. Parents always worry about their kids; there doesn't seem to be a lot we can do about it...

And it doesn't matter how old their kids are they'll still worry about them...

The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

[NlghtJumper 0]

I guess its a good thing that my mom did a tandem about 6 years before my first tandem, so when I got really involved in the sport, my whole family was very supportive.

A man will do anything for the right woman,
and when that woman destroys him,
that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus

[flyangel2 2]

My personal experience:

I’ve been jumping now for over 20 years. Over the last few years my family has finally come to accept it.

I think it helped that I didn’t talk about it around my family. Yes, they knew I was skydiving, but when ever the subject came up, I’d let them know that I was going to continue to enjoying myself in the air. It was easy to handle my family this way since I didn’t live under their roof. I also was not depended on them for any financial assistants. If you depend on your parents for any financial help, it’s going to be an up hill battle till you stop taking their money.

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[jdatc 0]

Telling my parents I started skydiving wasn't too hard... They were used to a lot of my more *interesting* hobbies.

But now this May I am headed out to take the Apex BASE course. Telling my parents about it has proved difficult to say the least. I kept it from my mother till last week.

A frank open discussion is the best though. I find that not shrouding any of the risk, or downplaying it works best. I told her the honest truth that it was something I always wanted to do, I was going about it a proper way.

I also explained to her that she couldn't change my mind and that while not having her blessing wouldn't stop me, it'd be easier if she tried to understand my motivations....

She just said she'd pray a lot more...

-Justin

[adventurechick 0]

When I first told my mom about the two tandems I went on, she made me go see a counselor... she thought I was suicidal to want to jump out of a "perfectly good airplan".... yeah that counseling trip sucked.... so I didn't tell her about any more jumps until last week I broke it to her that I have 25 skydives.... but I sat down and showed her my A license card, the SIM, and told her all about AAD's, RSL's, reserve packs...ect. She's feeling a little better about it... ... but all I can say is go over all the safety part of it.... and maybe not mention it a whole bunch!

PMS #449 TPM #80 Muff Brother #3860
SCR #14705 Dirty Sanchez #233

[ntrprnr 0]

Happy reading.

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1734651;search_string=parents%20found%20out;#1734651

_______________
"Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?"
"Even in freefall, I have commitment issues."

[rasmack 0]

It takes a lot of the drama out of skydiving if you take your family out to the DZ to see what is going on. When you have seen the first twenty uneventful landings it just doesn't look that bad, even to a whuffo. Actually most of them get rather bored.

HF #682, Team Dirty Sanchez #227
“I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.”
- Not quite Oscar Wilde...

[QSilver2005 0]

Out of my experience I found that parent will normally try to convince you otherwise, once they realize that you are going to go ahead with it they sort off relax with the idea and ask more questions about “How does it work”. I did my first and second jump before my mom came along to the DZ, I got one of our instructors to show her the gear and also discuss all with her from Main, Reserve, RSL and ADD that seemed to relax her a bit and look at it from a different perspective. I have completed a whole bunch of jumps with great support from her.

As someone mentioned already take them to the DZ and ask your instructor to show them how it works from gear to what the AFF instructors do on the jump, also make sure they see how a new student gets assisted in landing the canopy for the first time, seeing it will really calm them down and experience the sport for what it is.

[Akey 0]

I'm doing my AFF abroad so when i return i won't have had an instructor in the UK... Should i still take them down my local DZ (obviously after i have got to know people there) and ask one of the instructors etc.

[JustaBill 0]

Quote

I'm doing my AFF abroad so when i return i won't have had an instructor in the UK... Should i still take them down my local DZ (obviously after i have got to know people there) and ask one of the instructors etc.

Yes I think that would be a good idea. Once you feel comfortable at the new DZ I would definetely take them out for a day and have them talk to some instructors to answer their questions. When my sister and I did our first static line jumps we didn't tell our parents anything about it. I had my wife bring them to the airport after the first jump course. Mom asked her "why are we at the airport?" and they walked in the hanger just as we were getting geared up. It kind of freaked her out a little at first but then she started talking to the instructors and a few up jumpers and it really put her mind at ease. And since she didn't have a week or so to think about it, she couldn't think up all the bad stuff and worry about it too much. Although the shock of it was a little rough

------------------------------------------------
I've done so much, with so little, for so long
I'm now expected to do everything with nothing forever

[kirrz 0]

I had similar issues a few months ago and asked almost the same question. I got heaps of awesome advice you might find useful.

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1958369;search_string=placate%20the%20parents;#1958369

What worked for me was taking the initiative and showing I was responsible rather than just talking about being responsible. I compiled a whole folder filled with statistics and technical gear information along with a 3 page letter about the importance of skydiving to me and I gave that to my dad. I also went out and got my first ever job to pay for it myself.
My dad started at "there's no way in hell I'm ever going to let you do that", now he's come to accept that it matters to me. They'll never actively encourage you to do it but the best you can hope for is that they'll understand what it means to you and appreciate that it makes you happy.

Good luck!

[Andy9o8 0]

My family and I concealed my skydiving from my mother for about 26 years.
Sometimes that's just the way it has to be.

[MrFreefall383 0]

My mom is still scared shitless of the idea of me skydiving for the fun of it. But yesterday after I told her I had a crappy jump and was unstable in freefall, she loosened up. Why? Because I told her, "Damnit, I wish that didn't happen. I have to find a way to fix it though, because I don't want to be unsafe like that again." My guess is you won't be able to make them relax until they know you're really about safety when jumping, and that this is something you intend to get very good at doing.

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[Akey 0]

I don't think i could ever not tell my family about something like this, just feel like i owe it to them or something, i don't know. I have my own job so whilst i am no 'dependant' on them, i still live at home before i'm off to med school next this september, so i would not say i cam entirly independant quite yet. But anyway, i sat my mum down and talked her through exactly what i would be taught and what would happen in levels 1-8 as well as comparing the sport to things like horse riding (really dangerous actually, never realised) etc. and i think she is a little more accepting, although obviosuly not happy about it. Don't think my dad is having any of it, but hey, i guess i'll just give it time. Thanks alot for all your advice guys, it is really helpful.

[Tink1717 2]

Don't tell them anything. They don't get it. They never will. You can show them the videos, tell them the stats and talk until you are blue in the face and they will STILL take the word of a friend, who had a cousin, who had an uncle, who had a brother, who had an army buddy, who had a guy who knew someone that went jumping and some awful thing happened. It's a game where you can't possibly win. The only positive move is not to play.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[azureriders 0]

Quote

She just said she'd pray a lot more...

I come from a fairly religious family, most of which totally support me sky diving. The rest of them I told that I have prayed more since starting sky diving than the rest of my life combined, which is true, and that God and I were ok with it, also true. That pretty much put every body at ease, but I am sure that would not work for everybody.