Why don't women get along with each other ?

[cocheese 0]

It seems they may have a female friend or two , but in general(it seems) even THEY admit to not liking women or not wanting to be nice to each other.
Why is there so much tension between women for no apparent reason.
Let's not get into discussion about guys and wars/aggression/murder rates etc. This is about women around the dz who don't want to be friends with other women for some unknown reason. It's about the babes who would rather hang with guys then gals in a social setting.
For the record, I'd rather hang with everyone equally, but chics rock so i understand wanting to hang with the opposite sex. Is that all it's really about ? Just hanging with the opposite sex ? Or are there some deeper reasons ?

[metalslug 31]

Is their a deeper pattern to this observation ?
Are these femmes mostly single or attached ? Mostly older or younger than 35 ?
Mostly excellent, average or newbie skydivers ?

In my experience, most femmes get along very well with each other. The exceptions occur whenever there is any kind of competition, even if it's 'friendly'. It may be competition to skydive well, competition to be popular or competition to attract the attention of specific individual(s) at the DZ.

Have you ever watched "Dismissed" on M-TV ?
It's an eye-opening display to witness how femmes turn on each other even when neither of of them is truly even interested in the 'prize' they are competing for.

[cocheese 0]

Yea like those dating shows ( Elimidate ?) where the women fight almost like they were told to just for ratings.
Well my observations have been when i hear women say " Women are so catty " It's just easier to hang with guys ..... or ....( Well i don't want to say anymore.)
It also seems like the new girl always has to "wait" to be accepted by all the other women.
Yes it seems like if the attention is taken away from the "Attention Whore " Look out..... Cold war or Cat fight coming soon.

[peregrinerose 0]

Women tend to be extremely judgemental and competitive with other women. They tend to pick each other apart before ever bothering to say 'hello', and I see this at the drop zone too. Did my first AFF Sunday, but spent time there before with my husband. Guys all fairly friendly and welcoming, the only woman that would have any words at all with me was the owner of the DZ (and she's so sweet), the rest just looked me over and ignored me. I'm naturally shy, so don't initiate conversations with anyone.

Most women also can't figure me out. I hate makeup, jewelry, shopping, clothes, and all that other girly BS. I love home depot, anything that has 'craftsman' or 'black and decker' written on it, I play in mud (4x4 with the jeep) or work on remodelling my house on weekends, and am in general a total tomboy. I don't mind hanging out with women, I'm friends with everyone I work with (all women), but I tend to have more in common with guys.

Jen

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[MarkM 0]

I think it's in the way each sex attracts a mate. Women do it through attention, getting noticed by the guy and having him approach you. Men do it through being successful, you're more likely to get a yes when asking women out if you look like you're doing well in life.

Success is something that's pretty easy to spread around. If the new person that shows up in your home turf is better than you, it doesn't really detract from your talent unless he acts like an asshole and puts you down(doesn't respect your own skill). In fact, you could learn from him as a mentor or friend to increase your own value. But attention is something that's not as easy to share.

All IMHO naturally, it's not like I'm a sociologist or anything.

[Zennie 0]

For many people, and at least in my observation, self-esteem is gauged by how they measure up with other people. There are two ways of elevating one's self-esteem in such a case:

1. Knock down those who you perceive (sometimes subconsciously) to be a step "above";
2. Become ultra-competetive and try to surpass them in whatever it is that you feel "behind" in.

What's interesting is that, at least with females, the more "feminine" types seem to be more prone to measuring self-esteem this way, whereas the "tomboy" types seem more comfortable in their own skin (though may be somewhat competetive in sports or other activities).

I've always been partial to tomboys myself.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[Breezejunky 0]

All my closest and most amazing friends are female. I get so frustrated when I hear women (and men) saying that women are bitchy and...blah, blah, blah. I think those people need to take a closer look at themselves. And take a look at the girls who say "all my best friends are male" For the most part, (not always) they tend to be very attractive. Hmmmm. I wonder why that is....and please don't say it's because other women are jealous or threatened!
Did I mention that all my closest friends are also very attractive females?
For many years I've worked in a male only environment (I was often the only female) If you think guys don't sit around and bitch and gossip, you are sorely mistaken!
I also can't help but notice the great vibes at women's events and on the women's forum. Why is the perception of women not like women so strong when there is so much evidence to the contrary? Maybe it's because women are supposed to be so loving and gentle that when they are not it's more noticeable? I don't know.

Scenario 1: Beautiful girl walks onto DZ. She isn't too bright, not terribly friendly, thinks highly of herself and alienates all but the most attractive boys. Other girls on DZ don't like her.

Oooooo, how catty of us!


Scenario 2: Guy walks on to DZ. He isn't friendly, quite the smart ass, skydives dangerously, won't listen to more experienced advice and pesters all the women. Girls on the DZ don't like him.

So?

Double standard perhaps?

[happythoughts 0]

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I get so frustrated when I hear women (and men) saying that women are bitchy and...

"I just love her to death. She is the best person in the world and would do anything for you, but..."

[cocheese 0]

Thanks for your input.

[Nightingale 0]

My guess would be because women who skydive, like women who are martial artists, are typically very strong alpha personalities.

if you put two strong alphas in a room together, you end up with one of two possible outcomes:

mutual respect

mutual antagonation

they're either best friends or can't stand each other.

[Shotgun 1]

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This is about women around the dz who don't want to be friends with other women for some unknown reason.

Hmm, I don't see this at all at my dz (Perris). I get along fine with the other women there. In fact, the few people I can think of at the dz who I don't like are all males.

[MarkM 0]

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And take a look at the girls who say "all my best friends are male" For the most part, (not always) they tend to be very attractive.

So is there a class of guys that go around saying, "All my best friends are female"?

[Breezejunky 0]

Yes, but they are all gay.

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

I think it's because they're under the GREATLY MISTAKEN IMPRESSION that other women threaten their chances of getting a guy to have sex with them.

They are unrealistic to themselves about just how easy it is to get a guy into bed, so they feel an unwarranted fear that other women present competition for guys and the possibility of being unable to find a sex partner.

Nothing could be further from the truth, and you'd think they'd have learned that by now, but we all know that women are pretty irrational much of the time.

-

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[Vyxen 0]

I'm sure you have a reason(s) for this post, but i cant help but disagree.

I can only speak personally, so let me say for no reason do i feel like this about other women at my home dz. Even chicks that in the "real world" our personalities may clash, here we are all skydivers and that is enough for me to respect each and everyone. I see a women that is better than me, and hope that one day she'll jump with me, and i can learn from her. And after dark when everyone is hanging, its so much cooler when other chicks are there.

I'm sure i'm not the only female who gets tired of being out numbered all the time.

And as for fighting for attention from the oppisit sex, it seems like the boys would have much more to worry about...


This is just how i feel about all the women at my home dz...they rock!

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

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I'm sure i'm not the only female who gets tired of being out numbered all the time.

Imagine how we guys feel! You think we like outnumbering the chicks?!

Blue skies,
-

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[Vyxen 0]

No, i am sure you would be much happier if it was atleast a 3:1 loading in your favor.

THEN, if you want to talk about claws coming out, i would understand....

--Do it like you mean it--

[kelpdiver 2]

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My guess would be because women who skydive, like women who are martial artists, are typically very strong alpha personalities.

Aye, I think this is as far as it can be generalized. I believe some alpha types find the more passive women very displeasing. So you end up with women that don't seem to like many others.

Some just don't want to live with another gal, but are fine with smaller doses.

[crwmike 0]

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It seems they may have a female friend or two , but in general(it seems) even THEY admit to not liking women or not wanting to be nice to each other.
Why is there so much tension between women for no apparent reason.



Let's not get into discussion about guys and wars/aggression/murder rates etc. This is about women around the dz who don't want to be friends with other women for some unknown reason. It's about the babes who would rather hang with guys then gals in a social setting.
For the record, I'd rather hang with everyone equally, but chics rock so i understand wanting to hang with the opposite sex. Is that all it's really about ? Just hanging with the opposite sex ? Or are there some deeper reasons ?

Too broad a statement. It pretty much depends on how they view themselves. A large percentage form their sense of self as a direct reflection of their ability to attract the attention of men. These women do not get along well with other women.

Women who have a ...broader view of who they are and what they are capable of, get along with similar women just fine.

Michael

[Trish 0]

If you want to keep this in the particular context of skydiving or any place there is competition, then I would say that women tend to not get along with other women because of the stereotypes against women.

We have to work harder and be better than are male counterparts just to get the same level of respect. This can be seen in the way people are "surprised" when a woman accomplishes something that is seen as being "male."

In order to get ourselves to a higher level in others' opinions, we also have to be more "like a man." Hence, we hang out with the boys instead of the girls so that we are not seen as being girlie or overly feminine.

It sux. Women should stop this nonsense. There is absolutely no equality when women have to "act like men." I've seen a real girlie girl take on a rock with her bare hands like it was nothing and joke about breaking a nail afterwards. You can be female - and have female friends - and still succeed at "manly" activities.

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, and loudly proclaiming, Wow…what a ride!

[somethinelse 0]

Hmmm...

I thought in a previous posting you'd said that the the skychicks at your dz were really COOL.
But with a larger number, you are gonna see a wide display of ALL kinds of behavior/attitudes/etc.
RIGHT???

But actually... WELL, considering the ratio of men to women in this sport...Often women can be rather insecure about being compared to other women, and maybe not being portrayed in a positive light... Perhaps back biting is done because of that reason?

But then again, I haven't met many other women skydivers yet.
...But the women I've met AT MY DZ are all friendly and welcoming and there's warm kinship among us.

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[Greene 0]

Good post Mike.

We love our women as much as are men.

Equal at our DZ!

You need only to be wanting to learn and to listen.

Be if male or female.

No problems with females or males at our DZ.

They are equal skydivers!

SGC
Lee

[cocheese 0]

Yea , i'm retarded.
(personal attackes are ok if they are refering to oneself ?)
Yep all women get along just fine. What was i thinking ?
Told ya i need to quit posting.

[somethinelse 0]

WOW.
Maybe it's the "ALPHA-TYPES" that tend to cut each other down due to their aggressive 'top-dog' personality tendencies?
But "ALPHA-TYPE" doesn't apply to me, that's for sure...I gotta try really hard NOT to be a more of a "SLACKER-TYPE"!

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

Just noticed this thread and thought it sparked interesting dialogue. Since there are new .commers out there...any more thoughts on this subject?

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