vonSanta 0 #26 October 3, 2003 Don't get into a relationship to start with and you'll find your life many times easier. My biggest worrys basically whether to wear dirty colour coordinated socks or clean ones that are in different colours. The latter usually wins as I don't like to smell :) Oh and the answer is dump and move on. Otherwise there'll always be a lingering doubt and some mistrust. Santa Von GrossenArsch I only come in one flavour ohwaitthatcanbemisunderst Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinjackflash 0 #27 October 3, 2003 QuoteQuoteQuoteLater on that evening, the bastard, to get his revenge, slipped LSD into my drink, which, of course, ruined any hope of reconciliation, not that there was much hope there to begin with. A mutual friend came rushing over about half an hour later and told me what the guy'd done, but by then there wasn't a lot I could do about it... so the rest of the evening made for an interesting trip, to say the least. I don't do drugs. He did. It was something we were always fighting about. sigh. why do I always end up dating assholes? live and learn, I guess. -N- JEEZ OH PEEZ? ASSHOLES? WTF? I did drugs for years, through teenage and early twenties. HAD A DAMN GOOD TIME NEVER EVER SLIPPED ANYONE ANYTHING!!! SHIT DAMN ASSHOLES? HOW ABOUT COMPLETE FREAKS! WOW Glad your ok, I'd kick someones ass clear around the world for dropping a surprise in on me. Damn. jack He wasn't an asshole because he did drugs. I have some good friends who use, but they're responsible about it. I don't have a problem with that... but if they offer it to me, they respect me when I say no, and don't ask again. My choices are different than theirs, and we're both okay with that. With the ex-bf, what we'd fought about wasn't so much the drugs themselves, but him putting pressure on me to use them also, and him standing me up because he was too wasted to remember to call and cancel plans, or DRIVING under the influence of LSD, or smoking pot around my eight year old cousin. Exactly Nightingale, exactly. That's what I was saying. His choice to use, is his. Impacting others with that choice, pressuring people, behaving like an idiot... well that's another thing. That's why I was saying he is a freak. What he did to you is just as bad as rape. In fact, it is rape, mental rape. peace, plenty guys would never ever compromise you in that manner. many of us believe in protecting our women (wives, girlfriends, daughters, neighbors) and treating them with love. blues, jackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #28 October 3, 2003 Seriously, who in their right mind would cheat on you?? Have you got really bad breath or something? Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #29 October 3, 2003 I have no tolerance for cheaters or liars. I'm not sure I could stay with someone (and haven't in the past) if/when they cheat on me. If someone is so unhappy with me that they have to go to another woman for happiness, then the relationship should not continue.I would rather they discontinue the relationship before they cheat, but ofcourse thats not how life goes most of the time. I like my personal philosophy of keeping them very tired and satisfied/happy.Then they either won't want to leave,or will be too tired to do so. "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflygoddess 0 #30 October 3, 2003 QuoteSeriously, who in their right mind would cheat on you?? Have you got really bad breath or something? No, I don't think so. I know you are just teasing and all but it is NOT MY fault that I was cheated on. It can happen to anyone. It is the cheaters fault. Please if you have been cheated on, it is not your fault, you have no control over other's actions. The only actions you have control over are your own, unless you are scitsophrenic... Please don't think in any way is it your fault. You are not ugly or unworthy or good in bed. It is the cheaters fault perios, not yours and not the one they slept with. Theirs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #31 October 3, 2003 Quote I know you are just teasing and all have you looked at yourself recently?? theres no teasing involved.. LOL ! Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hungarianchick 0 #32 October 4, 2003 This is a very deep topic and I'm sure this will be a long thread... I think most cheaters feel that there is something missing in their current relationship, emotional or sexual only they don't have the the decency to try to solve it, they go the easy way. As much as I hate to admit, I cheated on my first (long term) boyfriend several times (he only knew of one) I'm not trying to make excuses for my behavior, but I was young and immature, and I thought I can make up for my boyfriend's lack of emotional closeness. He forgave me, and the relationship lasted for 12(!) years. We broke up for entirely different reasons. Now, over a decade later I still shudder when I think about the pain I must have caused him, and I know if it was him cheating on me I'd had left him. I learned a valuable lesson there, the hard way. I would never ever cheat again, and if a person feels the need to cheat, that relationship is in trouble already. "I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #33 October 4, 2003 The people that I like to hear are the "rationalizers". Usually two categories. First, "...our relationship was over really, so it wasn't really cheating...". I heard that from a woman who was married for 6 years and cheated during the last two. If they eventually get divorced... "...the paperwork was just a formality, it was over before I started seeing other men..." Sure. Second, "...it wasn't really cheating because we were broke up then...". Heard that from a girl who told me she never cheated on her b/f and then remembered that she spent the night with my roommate! The back-peddling went like this... "Well... I had broken up with him on the Wednesday before that weekend... yeah we got back together 2 weeks later, but I wasn't dating him then..." Interesting how people change definitions to what they want to do and still keep their self-respect. Rationlizers don't think of themselves as cheaters. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #34 October 4, 2003 Right on.......................many a SO has cheated either once or twice and their SO had forgiven them and the relationship still endures. It doesn't do much for trust, initially, but it is workable. People are human and humans make mistakes. I never have cheated on my wife, but I know (from long ago) what it felt like to be on the shit end.........I could never do that to her...........but relationships that were taxed with infidelity can often turn out to be even stronger relationships "indefinately". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chandelle 0 #35 October 4, 2003 So many people have said, "I would never cheat". A sentiment that is charming, sweet and naïve. A position that could only be taken by the young or forever sheltered. However, life is very complex and it would be unwise to assume that all things are, as they seem or the answers obvious. There are many reasons why people look for love outside of their current relationship. People “trapped” by so many circumstances and unable to resolve them. People lonely and left behind, yet still inextricably attached. Try not to pass judgment on things you have not yet had experience with and had to make the decisions yourself. It is possible that you will someday find yourself in a similar position. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinjackflash 0 #36 October 4, 2003 This is actually a very good point. It's also why I left my wife. I wanted to cheat. Bad. I wouldn't be able to live with it, so, I left before I did. By the way. I still haven't been with anyone (coming up 60 days later), but at this point, if/when it does happen, I can say I didn't cheat. There aren't any canidates either, I didn't have someone "lined up" and waiting. Not much of a prize their, however, I knew it was over, simply because my "desire" for something else had increased to a significant level. With this in mind, I knew it was time to go. I was not being fulfilled. If I would've stuck around, it would happen sooner or later. jjfIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RippedCord 0 #37 October 4, 2003 Quotewhy do I always end up dating assholes? You need to pass them along to Valerie, here AMDG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Racenic 0 #38 October 4, 2003 I cheated once on my S.O. My relationship with the S.O was terrible and should have ended months before. Remember hind sight is 20/20 A friend (lets call her Carrie) a couple of years older, whom I knew all my life had recently gotten divorce and moved back home with her parents. I was working swing shift and the S.O. was working days. It all happened very innocently, a cup of coffee with Carrie and talking lead to the bedroom about a month later. It lasted about 2 months and the S.O. never found out. Carrie got her life together and moved out of her parents house. She meet someone whom she would later move in with. The S.O. and I finally went our separate ways. About 2 years after all that I ran into Carrie. Her boyfriend had beaten the shit out of her, broken jaw, black eye and a broken wrist. I asked her to leave him and move in with me. For her safety and peace of mind. Plus I did really care for her. She Said " I would rather live with a guy who hits me than a guy who MAY cheat on me..." Than one sentence carried more weight....... than a punch to the groin It happen over 16 years ago, and I have never forgotten those words, the look on her face and the pain in my heart. Nick Nick D The key to Immortality is- first living a life worth remembering” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #39 October 4, 2003 Quote She Said " I would rather live with a guy who hits me than a guy who MAY cheat on me..." Than one sentence carried more weight....... than a punch to the groin It happen over 16 years ago, and I have never forgotten those words, the look on her face and the pain in my heart. Nick Man, that's one of the most harsh things I've heard in a long time. I could see how that would stick in your mind. Honestly, I'm not sure if this falls into the "Girls only want assholes" category or a league of its own. Either way, sorry that happened to ya bro. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #40 October 4, 2003 Quoteby then there wasn't a lot I could do about it... Orange juice or any vitamin C drinks (in quantity) will bring you back safely. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflybella 0 #41 October 4, 2003 wow. I'm sorry for you - and for her. Sometimes people just doesn't know where their heart is, or are afraid or confused. It doesn't seem like you set out to cheat - but you didn't check in with yourself and reality and the moment. I'm sorry for your friend, that she couldn't come to terms with the guilt of what you had done together - it's an alarming example of how dishonesty and betrayal run much deeper than some might think. On all 3 sides. Not being able to trust - especially those you love and say they love you - has a life altering effect. It changes you in so many ways. Your emotional range is stilted, boundary lines are blurred, any sense of community is shaken. Again, what a powerful memory - have you seen her since? Have you ever cheated again? Action expresses priority. - Mahatma Ghandi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loudtom 5 #42 October 4, 2003 [ f their sister...or mom if she's hot [:P Yea!!!!!! lol Why are we all carping about the past... lets get on with the next one... I found it hard when she left and knew I would never have cheated on her. Ever... That may hurt worse.tom #90 #54 #08 and now #5 with a Bronze :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Racenic 0 #43 October 4, 2003 Wrong Way QuoteEither way, sorry that happened to ya bro. Thanks man FreeflyBella QuoteAgain, what a powerful memory - have you seen her since? Have you ever cheated again? To answer both Questions, No I haven't seen her and no I haven't cheated. I learned my lesson from this single experience. It's not worth, Life really is to short to be in a relationship where your not happy and want to be cheating or be cheated on. Get out heal and than move on. Blues, Nick Nick D The key to Immortality is- first living a life worth remembering” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DZOregon 0 #44 October 5, 2003 Is there something about this sport that makes more people justify cheating?. Life may be short, so they try and get ALL their needs met with more than one person. Why should they sacrifice and only get some of their needs met, when they can get all of them met with different people? Is monogamy societies burden on us? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skytrixaz 0 #45 October 5, 2003 Infidelity—cheating—is the world’s easiest, stupidest, most reprehensible thing to do; it doesn’t take any brains, skill, nor charm to cheat whether it be on income taxes, boyfriend or stealing something that isn’t yours. It doesn’t require much of anything except a lack of a moral compass. g Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflybella 0 #46 October 5, 2003 Hey! More power to ya! Just don't let any girl you're with think she's the 'only one'. Then, there's no cheating, no lying and no being a dickhead. Monogamy is not required as long you're both (or all 8 of you) on the same page. This was a question about cheating - not whether we should be monogamous. Action expresses priority. - Mahatma Ghandi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DZOregon 0 #47 October 5, 2003 Cheating is not easy. It's actually quite difficult. The planning and covering that have to happen is difficult. Keeping two woman happy at the same time without either one knowing about eachother is a skill.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skytrixaz 0 #48 October 5, 2003 QuoteCheating is not easy. It's actually quite difficult. The planning and covering that have to happen is difficult. Keeping two woman happy at the same time without either one knowing about eachother is a skill.... Falls more in the category of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder with deceitful behaviors. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyAnt 0 #49 October 5, 2003 I heard about this guy that who cheated on his girl. Then she cheated on him back and sent him some pics. Then he posted them anonymously to her mum. Ouch! "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suz 0 #50 October 5, 2003 My last boyfriend was a lying, cheating bastard. I've never gotten over it and I find that I'm really "standoffish" whenever I meet someone new. It's really affected the way that I look at potential partners. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
