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AggieDave

Someone make me laugh...please

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I just now read it and it did make me laugh. That's a funny joke that I've got to remember! B|

Infact, I think that is now my "bad joke of the week" (tm), to be told over and over again at the DZ.B|
--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

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Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that escaped from jail....

He was a small, medium, at large.
"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334

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The national poetry contest had come down to 2 finalists, a Yale graduate and a resident of Newfoundland. They were given a single word then allowed 2 minutes to come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was Timbuktu.
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped up to the podium and recited into the microphone:

Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination - Timbuktu.

The crowd roared with applause. The sentiment in the crowd was the there was no way the Newfie could top that poem. The Newfie made his way to the stage and approached the microphone. He cleared his voice and recited:

Me and Tim huntin went,
Met tree hookers in a pop up tent.
They was tree and we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu.

Hispas Brothers President
HISPA #2,

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A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group.

After the story was read she gave the children a work sheet to do. She thought they may have some problems so wanted them to work on it there.

She heard a little girl say very softly "damn!".

The teacher leaned over and said quietly, "We don't say that in school."

The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she said,

"Not even when things are all fucked up?!"
“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh

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Panda goes into a bar and grill-orders a sandwich-eats it and then takes out a gun and kills the waiter. He gets up to walk out and the bartender says hey, where are you going? The bear says I'm a panda. Bartender says so? Panda says look it up in the dictionary. Bartender looks under panda in the dictionary " Black and white chinese bear-eats shoots, and leaves.:P lol-Caress
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being
right.

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not sure if it will make you feel better but we have not been able to jump for 11 weeks in a row now, simply due to weather. I hope you get a laugh out of that cause I sure as hell don't!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Make your plans dark and as inpenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt" -Sun Tsu

rocket

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not sure if it will make you feel better but we have not been able to jump for 11 weeks in a row now, simply due to weather. I hope you get a laugh out of that cause I sure as hell don't!!!!!!!!!!!!




HAHAHAHA LMAO! You suck you non jumping maroon! HAHAHA!

:P {j/k}

Yeah those of us living up in the great white north are getting the hose right now. 2 jumps since 11/22. This sucks.

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Martha's family placed her in a lovely old folks home that was known for giving great care.

Martha's sitting on the patio one day and she slowly starts leaning over to the left.

A nurse rushes up and sits her upright.

Then Martha slowly starts leaning over to the right.

The nurse rushes up again and sits her upright.

Martha's family stops by and asks how she's enjoying the new home and if they're taking care of her.

Martha says "Yes, but they won't let me fart."

B|

'Shell
'Shell

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No good joke, but I bumped into Lucy Liu the other day, and then I had to go find whomever it was that peed in my pants while I was struggling to find something to say. :PB|
Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

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As a squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier.

A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breath. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened.

“Well,” he whispered, “I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, ‘Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!’”

“He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, ‘George W. Bush is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!’”

“We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us.”
“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh

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hey psst clownburner you were the 69th response :P



You are off a little or is it that you are a little off?
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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