Jokes to play on your AFF instructor

[MarkM 0]

I'm thinking about tying a string on my finger, keeping it hidden until we're on the plane, playing with it, and when the question comes up what it's for: "It's to remind me to pull".
Most of the people at the DZ don't really know I've jumped a lot before and will probably expect me to be the usual freak out on my first AFP jump. I gotta find ways to fuck with their minds a little.
Anyone have suggestions? I don't wanna totally freak out my instructor, just have a little fun.
I am totally up for fucking with the heads of everyone else in the plane though. The bastards probably got it coming for all the students they've tortured in the past.

[lazerq3 0]

Well theres always sneaking on an extra cutaway or reserve handle on the plane and then on jump run tell the student this fell off him or ask the instructor if you needed this to jump!! I dont know...never seen it done but heard it talked about on this site!
jason

[jbrasher 0]

Just remember it's ALWAYS get even day :-)
Red, White and Blue Skies,
John T. Brasher D-5166

[Sebazz1 2]

I frequently play with my tandem students but when it comes to AFF I seldom screw around or "torture them". If a AFF student is acting unprepared or screwin around to much they will not jump Even if we are already in the plane.....LOL....Seb

[MarkM 0]

Yeah Sebazz, that's why I was thinking about really minor stuff. Don't want my instructor to think I've gone nuts, at least not until they know me enough to know I'll be fine in the air Maybe I'll just stick out my tongue when I do a check-in on exit.

[AggieDave 6]

Walk to the plane naked with a rig on...that'd really mess with them.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

[MarkM 0]

HAHAHA. Let me think on it.

[NtheSeaOrSky 0]

Its not really a joke, but my ground school guy told me on my first AFF jump, when we were in the air and had done the COA and PRCPs to look at my reserve JM questionably and give HIM the arch signal. I chickened out (that Jm didnt have such a good sense of humor), but maybe someone else may get a kick out of it.

[Haeloth 0]

OK, here is one:
After pulling at 5500, cut away and go into a head down or a sit, join the jumpmasters on the way down, pull reserve low. Be prepared to stay on the ground for a LONG time...:-)

[Beachbum 0]

Get someone else on the load to wait until you're on the way up ... lean over and say to you .. "Man, I'm sure glad the USPA sent you to check on this ... I can't believe they've gotten away with it for this long" .... Of course ... you might all ride the plane back down ...

[PhreeZone 15]

No. no no.... Its FAA, USPA does'nt mean jack to most DZ's.
Political Correctness - At least one person at any one time will be offended by something

[Beachbum 0]

what do I know ... I AM a newbie ...

[PhreeZone 15]

Three letter acronyms are always scarier then 4 letters... Look.. FBI, CIA, DOJ, FAA, NSA, ATF (Great combo for a party, A, T and F's Political Correctness - At least one person at any one time will be offended by something

[lazerq3 0]

Quote

Whats really scarier?

you forgot the scarest!!! STD!!!!!!
jason

[PhreeZone 15]

I was refering to Government agencies......
What you caught from that sheep really does'nt need spread any more, got it? Ooops... your not Clay, Justin or Skreamer... never mind. Political Correctness - At least one person at any one time will be offended by something

[lazerq3 0]

jason

[MarkM 0]

Beach that would be pretty funny when you consider that my DZ just let it's USPA status drop.

[AggieDave 6]

Quote

I was refering to Government agencies......

Well, in the Clinton administration, it basically WAS...
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

[jtval 0]

bring your dog, and get a bagfull of kittens. tie little chute to them and walk up to the instructor(totally dead pan serious)and ask if its o.k. to throw the kittens out on the way up so you dog has something to do!
Have fun, LIVE FREE, Skydive
JT

[freefallfreak 0]

Oh Geez, I wish I had a way of setting that up...Man, the look on his/her face would be priceless...lol.
TripleF
BOOBIES, BOOBIES, BOOBIES, BOOBIES...(Whoops, I said it again...Tee-hee...)

[jtval 0]

ahh, all you gotta do is go to the local pound. get some kittens. (they're free, so dont be afraid to keep em in your trunk until you need em) [that was a joke ppl]
Have free,live sky,fun dive
JT

[SpeedRacer 1]

A friend of mine was doing her second or third AFF jump or something...I don't know but she was new and still kinda nervous.
Anyway she's in freefall, and one of her jumpmasters was trying to get her to improve her arch & tip her head upwards a little more. So he reached out with his finger to raise her chin upward, and she bit his finger!


Speed Racer
"Fill your hand, you son-of-a-bitch!"

[SkyDekker 1,123]

Quote

So he reached out with his finger to raise her chin upward, and she bit his finger

Let me guess..........He did not hit on her that night....

SkyDekker
"We cannot do great things, only small things with great love" Mother Theresa

[spinmaster 0]

I would have to say that the NTSB always has the last word on the DOA's
:)

[Sebazz1 2]

You could always approach your JM before you debrief and say "ok this is the part were I'd like to get your impression of the skydive then I'll let you know what mine was"
Or you could say " damn I forgot to take my medication this week so I had to take all seven this morning"
I am so bored today.............
Seb