Baptism pressure - Advice on how to handle?

[lawrocket 3]

I received a call a few minutes ago from y wife's grandmother, hoping to see all three of us. My wife and I suspect it will be asking us to baptise the baby.

Honestly, I hadn't even thought of baptism. I'm not against it, nor am I for it. I don't care either way, but my wife may.

How do you address this gently with a grandmother?

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Rainbo 0]

show up wearing your sheep skull cap and goatskin chaps...

Rainbo
TheSpeedTriple - Speed is everything
"Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting."

[Unstable 8]

This is touchy.
IMHO, this is between you and your wife. Not You, your wife, and your Grandmother.
Talk to your SO and make a comprimise.

=========Shaun ==========

[quatorze 1]

Quote

This is touchy.
IMHO, this is between you and your wife. Not You, your wife, and your Grandmother.
Talk to your SO and make a comprimise.

Exactly, you married your wife, not her grandmother, and when Grams goes through labor for your offspring, then her say so counts. You say that you could not care one way or the other, good, find out how your wife feels about it and stick with her decision, no matter what, and she will love you for it. From my experience lots of women out there have issuse with thier moms and G-moms, they really appreciate thier Hubby standing with them. I know, ask mine, and believe me there have been some times when I really wanted to un-ass the area

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

[DShiznit 0]

My pastor won't baptize anyone under 12, as he feels that a baptism for a baby is just for the parents peace of mind, which undermines the entire point of it in the first place. The person being baptized needs to understand what it is about and why they are doing it.

[Unstable 8]

Quote

Exactly, you married your wife, not her grandmother, and when Grams goes through labor for your offspring, then her say so counts. You say that you could not care one way or the other, good, find out how your wife feels about it and stick with her decision, no matter what, and she will love you for it. From my experience lots of women out there have issuse with thier moms and G-moms, they really appreciate thier Hubby standing with them. I know, ask mine, and believe me there have been some times when I really wanted to un-ass the area

Well Said. Remember, in this world, and in the sight of God, you are responsible for the rearing of that child.... Make the decisions YOU and YOUR WIFE think is best...

=========Shaun ==========

[Unstable 8]

Quote

My pastor won't baptize anyone under 12, as he feels that a baptism for a baby is just for the parents peace of mind, which undermines the entire point of it in the first place. The person being baptized needs to understand what it is about and why they are doing it.

That may go back to how different religions deal with the concept of Original Sin. As I belive, we are not accountable for the actions of another (for example, Adam & Eve) and therefore we are judged according to our own works & faith. With this belief, why does one need to baptise at birth? We do it when a person becomes 8.

Edited for spelling only...

=========Shaun ==========

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Quote

My pastor won't baptize anyone under 12, as he feels that a baptism for a baby is just for the parents peace of mind, which undermines the entire point of it in the first place. The person being baptized needs to understand what it is about and why they are doing it.

Really??? That's the craziest thing...so baptism isn't for God in your church, it's for people? Weird...

Sorry, I don't mean to sound judgemental at all. That can't be Catholic, is it Baptist? Honestly I know it sounds judgemental but I don't mean it to be.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[ultrasonik 0]

Well I guess it depends on how your family and grandmother is. Some families wouldn't care at all if you didn't baptize your child into the family church. Other families would try to disown you for it. You just have to think about how she will react and the best way to approach the situation.

One bit of advice though. It sounds like you might want to first sit down with your wife and talk about it so you both know where each other stands. It will be hard to hold your ground against your grandmother if you don't know where your ground is.

-----
Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries. - Corita Kent

[DShiznit 0]

Quote

Really??? That's the craziest thing...so baptism isn't for God in your church, it's for people? Weird

Let me rephrase a bit....

Baptism is between the person being baptized and God. What is an infant going to know about any of this? For an infant, it's mainly for the parents to get the warm and fuzzies... sound better?

[GravityGirl 0]

We chose to offer our child a blessing. It was non-denominational.

We expressed our wishes to bring our child up to the best of our abilities both physically and morally. We also expressed our wishes for who would care for her in the unlikely event of our death or incapacitation.

Everyone seemed happy with this arrangement.

Luckily for me my Step Father was a Father. Ex Catholic Priest. He offered a blessing that perfectly expressed our wishes for our beautiful new baby.

I considered it a celebration of our commitment to do our best by her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace and Blue Skies!
Bonnie ==>Gravity Gear!

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Quote

Quote

Really??? That's the craziest thing...so baptism isn't for God in your church, it's for people? Weird

Let me rephrase a bit....

Baptism is between the person being baptized and God. What is an infant going to know about any of this? For an infant, it's mainly for the parents to get the warm and fuzzies... sound better?

I gotcha.
Not my beliefs, but I understand where you're coming from.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[ultrasonik 0]

There seems to be two interpretations of baptism. One is the parents dedicating the child to God. The other is a person dedicating themselves to God. Many churches that perform baptism shortly after birth have some sort of confirmation practice for members to dedicate themselves later in life. For churches not baptizing until teen or adult years the baptism is the confirmation. I don't see reason for any method to be better or worse than another. They are just different ways of doing the same thing.

-----
Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries. - Corita Kent

[sunshine 2]

Quote

Honestly, I hadn't even thought of baptism. I'm not against it, nor am I for it. I don't care either way, but my wife may.

You mean you don't even know how your wife feels and your posting about it? Dude, that's one of the tackiest things i've ever seen done around this place.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[Muenkel 0]

In the Catholic faith, the Sacrament of Baptism is the cleansing of Original Sin and it is recommended to be done in infancy. The Sacrament of Confirmation usually takes place in a child's teen years. It is when the child receives the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit and renews their own baptismal vows.

Again, this is in the Catholic faith. Other faiths differ.

_________________________________________
Chris

[lawrocket 3]

I did discuss it with her. My instinct for how she felt was dead on. Unfortuantely, I took the call from her grandmother since she was not available. SHe brought it up to me later that grandma was going to ask about baptism (she knows her grandma better than I do - the benefit of a 30 year relatinship vs. a 1.5 year relationship).

Perhaps the post should have been more clear - how do I approach this subject with regard to her grandparents? It seems that most people on here understood where I was coming from. In other words, how to expalin my position without causing tension with grandma.

Considering I haven't had a living grandparent since I was a kid I was hoping for some input on that to preserve a pleasant familial relationship.

If caring about my wife's family unit even if adverse to my interests is tacky, then I'll gladly be public enemy number 1.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[marcandalysse 0]

From what I understand, the Amish church and related churches believe that baptism should be a choice made when the child has grown and can make the decision. At that age, they then are sent off to the outside world to experience what is out there, so they can make a more knowledgable choice of remaining with their community and church or not.

This was shown in the DVD 'The Devils Playground' (highly recommended btw) which was turned into the recent reality show 'Amish in the City'.

The Amish ended up immigrating to America due to the religious persecution resulting in other Christians responses to Amish beliefs such as baptism.

[councilman24 36]

Damn, and I thought my fiance and I had talked about everything!

I'm old for my age.
Terry Urban
D-8631
FAA DPRE

[lawrocket 3]

Quote

Damn, and I thought my fiance and I had talked about everything!

Shoot, I used to think that, too.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Tink1717 2]

Don't cave in. If you cave on this, they will expect you to cave in on everything else. This is a decision between you and your SO ONLY!!!

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[Zenister 0]

Quote

My pastor won't baptize anyone under 12, as he feels that a baptism for a baby is just for the parents peace of mind, which undermines the entire point of it in the first place. The person being baptized needs to understand what it is about and why they are doing it.

but dont you know? witches can use the rendered fat of an unbabtised child to fly..

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[tigra 0]

The decision about whether or not to baptise your baby rests solely between you and your wife. How to break the news to her grandmother (if its something she's not going to want to hear) is up to your wife, and she really needs to be firm and fair about it, making it clear that whatever decision is made was made by BOTH of you together. I also assume since you are neither for nor against it, if your wife felt strongly one way or the other, you'd go along?

Good luck!

[Nightingale 0]

I've had this conversation in the abstract with my family.

What I told them is that I don't feel I have the right to baptise a child. Religion is something deep inside that you have to choose for youself. Belief isn't something that someone else can choose for you. Should any of my future kids choose baptism, I want it to be a special thing for them. Sacraments should be moving experiences for the person involved, and it can't possibly be a moving experience to someone too young to remember it who didn't have any choice in the matter whatsoever. Faith is something you have to nurture in yourself. it's not something someone else can just give you.

If necessary, you can cite back to the early days of christianity, where baptism was something chosen by adults, not something that parents chose for their children.

[InflightSupv 0]

Quote

I've had this conversation in the abstract with my family.

What I told them is that I don't feel I have the right to baptise a child. Religion is something deep inside that you have to choose for youself. Belief isn't something that someone else can choose for you. Should any of my future kids choose baptism, I want it to be a special thing for them. Sacraments should be moving experiences for the person involved, and it can't possibly be a moving experience to someone too young to remember it who didn't have any choice in the matter whatsoever. Faith is something you have to nurture in yourself. it's not something someone else can just give you.

If necessary, you can cite back to the early days of christianity, where baptism was something chosen by adults, not something that parents chose for their children.

I agree. It was originally done by Jesus. It was taught to early Christians to symbolically show their new life. Going down in the water and coming up a new creature, after you had accepted that Jesus was God's Son. None of the main Christian faiths believe that Baptism is actually more than a ceremony. The guy doing the ceremony that day was John. Hence, John the Baptist. As far as infants being baptised, it seems silly, since it was not taught that way originally.

[dorbie 0]

Quote

I received a call a few minutes ago from y wife's grandmother, hoping to see all three of us. My wife and I suspect it will be asking us to baptise the baby.

Honestly, I hadn't even thought of baptism. I'm not against it, nor am I for it. I don't care either way, but my wife may.

How do you address this gently with a grandmother?

The correct way to handle this is to discuss it with a bunch of people on dropzone.com rather than your wife and grandmother. They're sure to know what's best for you & your family.