Elisha 1 #51 August 3, 2005 Oh, is there a past thread about what your whuffo friends think of your jumping? If your parents and/or friends support your jumping or are interested? Don't want to waste bandwidth if I don't have to. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #52 August 3, 2005 QuoteSounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. Every extra cent you make should go to reducing your dependency on the parents. Once that string is completely cut (100% - no exceptions) - only then can you go do something they disapprove of. Whether they are right or wrong, now that you are an adult - they owe you nothing and are doing you a huge favor. Kids keep the entitlement attitude much later in life nowadays, it's strange. It's decision time - are you an adult? or just a dependent? Adults pay their debts. If you want to be the dependent, it's not evil, but the relationship is not an adult relationship, it's "child and parents" not "adult and parents" and the rules are there accordingly. This all changes if the parents are loaning you the money with the expectation of payback. But if it's a gift, then I stand by it. Now you might decide to cut the parents financial strings, but still request daddy and mommy to cosign your student loans. As long as you own the responsibility for paying the loans, you are still your own person and can make your own choices. That's an option. Else quit jumping until they stop giving you the conditional gifts. (How they handled the siblings has absolutely nothing to do with your situation BTW). Couldn't agree with all of this more, esp. my bolding... If you gave $200 to your sister every week because she's in tech college & can't afford to support herself and her child and she goes out and starts looking to buy a horse (which I think is a pretty close analogy on cost; horse vs gear, upkeep vs jumps) you would be PISSED. That $200 per week could be your jump money (or whatever), but you are giving up your freedom so someone else can use it for their own?? But somehow your parents are made to do this? And if you're going to a university I'm thinking schooling is a SMIDGE more expensive than $200 per week. I would spank my kids if they ever became this spoiled, and I don't care if they are 19... You work so 'hard' then get off your parent's bank account. Until then you have no right to bitch...they could say they don't like you wearing the color orange and you better either comply or get off their money. Kids these days...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kansasskydiver 0 #53 August 3, 2005 My parents pulled the same thing with me, but not for skydiving, it was for everything combined. My dad was paying my tuition and housing, meanwhile I was traveling the world, bought a crotch rocket, started skydiving etc. He started to get upset when he wasn't seeing any results, I wasn't moving towards graduating any faster, and if I could spend all this money elsewhere, why was he paying for my schooling... This went out for years until finally he pulled the van wilder on me "I was a poor investment" and cut me off, locked my savings and said figure it out yourself. And by god I did, I pay for everyrhing, and carry my own health and 100k life insurance policy. Sometimes you just have to buck it up and take it, that's why happen to me and I figured it out.<--- See look, pink dolphins DO exist! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #54 August 3, 2005 When it comes to the $ thing, sell everything you own. That's what most people do. Don't spend money on anything else (like new clothes, forget them) but food, and eat less (or cheaper stuff). You'd be surprised how much money you'll have for skydiving. As for them being afraid of you dying, EDUCATE EDUCATE EDUCATE. Have them learn all about gear and how the weakest link is now the jumper, not the equipment. The more you ALL learn, the more comfortable everyone will be. Good luck! Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #55 August 3, 2005 As for them being afraid of you dying, EDUCATE EDUCATE EDUCATE. And once everyone is educated (not deluded by stories of skydiving being safer than driving), their suspicions that skydiving is dangerous will be reinforced. Though they may find it's not AS dangerous as their initial estimations.... linz-- A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #56 August 3, 2005 I have a daughter starting college next year. I've committed to helping out financially. I'm strongly encouraging her to cut costs, but I'm going to give her X dollars per month and the only condition will be that she stay in school, apply herself to her studies, and get decent grades. What she does with the rest of her time and any leftover money is her business not mine. Sidenote that'll perhaps explain my stance. I've often thought that skydiving is a seriously selfish hobby. It's dangerous, and there's a distinct possibility I could deprive my daughter of her father and my mother of her son while doing something just for "fun". But I still jump. Why? Because I figure that if I quit to protect them, I'd most likely grow to resent them for depriving me of that fun, (at least in some dark recess of my heart), despite it being entirely my choice. Relevance? I've taken my daughter on one jump and she has a standing offer for me to pay for her training should she ever decide it's something she wants to take up. That prospect scares me, but the rationale I used to justify my own jumping has to go both ways. Similarly, if I told my daughter who's (by then) reached the age of majority that my financial assistance is conditional upon her not participating in certain fun activities, I'd expect that she'd resent that. And for what purpose? As long as she's getting the education that I'm helping pay for, what business do I have telling her how she is allowed to spend her free time and money? I give her money to help her get an education, not to keep her under my control. It really is that simple. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tsisson 0 #57 August 3, 2005 Well, for me...If I'd found skydiving during college, I would have dropped out and become a bum. I'm glad I didn't start jumping until I could really afford to support my habit. Now, as to my advice on how to handle the parents: Loose lips sink ships...keep it on the "down low"... Keep in mind, my advice comes from a guy who's parents never really supported any of my dreams so I just sort of cut them off in terms of seeking out their advice. Also, the less I shared with them...the less belly-aching I had to listen too. Now, they just accept it as part of who I am and we have no problems. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 232 #58 August 3, 2005 Unsupportive parents? They're putting down BANK for what is the stepping stone to your future."I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rasmack 0 #59 August 3, 2005 Reaction to headline: Get new ones Reaction to post: Get a job, and stop whining Reaction to debate and clarifications: C'mon. From the description of it it does not sound like she's being pampered. I can understand the parents but the fact that they are helping her pay for school does not give them the right to interfere with her other activities. When she's become a f*cked up skydiving addict like the rest of us, so she doesn't do her homework, then I'll buy it HF #682, Team Dirty Sanchez #227 “I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.” - Not quite Oscar Wilde... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ccowden 0 #60 August 3, 2005 I still like my idea that you should start stripping. You can skydive during the day and dance at night. Just let us know where it is you will be dancing! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airgirl24 0 #61 August 3, 2005 ok, ill get right on that they may have given me life but skydiving gives me breath ..katie.. http://community.webshots.com/user/goalie85 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #62 August 3, 2005 she can come practice on "the farm's" bus we are renting , theres a pole... and a bar on the busSudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airgirl24 0 #63 August 3, 2005 haha, im on my way they may have given me life but skydiving gives me breath ..katie.. http://community.webshots.com/user/goalie85 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ccowden 0 #64 August 3, 2005 See..... we are here for ya! And you can count on my support. I will come watch you dance! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Diversgodown 0 #65 August 3, 2005 I didn't read every post here, but alot and I didn't see anyone make mention of talking to her parents and finding out if it is a money issue or a concern of her jumping. I think most parents would worry about the saftey of their child ,and some may even resort to making it a money thing to prevent their child from doing it. I would find out if it really is a money issue and if so then respecting their wishes would be the right thing to do. otherwise compromise with them tell them you'll get a second job to support your healthy habit (it's better than going to bars all the time) and if your grades slip then you'll quit... ***Glory Favors the Bold*** Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rasmack 0 #66 August 3, 2005 Have you been snooping around in her photo album in her profile. You dirty person HF #682, Team Dirty Sanchez #227 “I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.” - Not quite Oscar Wilde... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpwally 0 #67 August 3, 2005 Quit your sniveling................focus on school,if you don't you'll suck at both. If you don't like it, walk away and do it on your own. Your parents are entitled to their own dreams,one of which may just be paying for and seeing you graduate.smile, be nice, enjoy life FB # - 1083 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
akurtom 0 #68 August 3, 2005 when i first started skydiving, i was 17 and the only way i could jump was if i had a notorized signature from both of my parents. I had to sit down with both of my parents and beg them to authorize me out jump out of a perfectly good airplane.... after my first jump and being in college, everyday went by thinking, man, i need to jump, i need to jump. advice: save a little here and there and spend what you can chew. a lot of hardcore skydivers are going to tell you...jump buy a rig do whatever your little heart deisres, but i say, go at your own pace....because in the end you are the one with the big ass bill and if you want it bad enough, then it wouldnt be a problem to you. dont ask your parents for money for skydiving if they are paying for school Blue Skies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #69 August 3, 2005 QuoteI have a daughter starting college next year. I've committed to helping out financially. I'm strongly encouraging her to cut costs, but I'm going to give her X dollars per month and the only condition will be that she stay in school, apply herself to her studies, and get decent grades. What she does with the rest of her time and any leftover money is her business not mine. No issues with your post, you established the rules and she has to comply to keep her stipend. Your rules are just different than her parents' rules. But that brings up a good point. She could sit down with the folks and FORMALLY establish the rules. That is contract she has to keep. Right now, that contract includes not skydiving. Most people get uncomfortable with the idea of a NON-emotional negotiation and formalization (in writing) of this kind of thing. Too bad. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airgirl24 0 #70 August 3, 2005 what would i do with out the support of friends like you thanks chris they may have given me life but skydiving gives me breath ..katie.. http://community.webshots.com/user/goalie85 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #71 August 3, 2005 tech the contract doesnt mean skydiving, they have yet to tell her no.Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #73 August 3, 2005 lol hes only supporting you cause your a hot chick lol, Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #74 August 3, 2005 Quotewhat would i do with out the support of friends like you thanks chris Sometimes our truest friends are the ones who are willing to tell us what we don't want to hear.... Peas! linz-- A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airgirl24 0 #75 August 3, 2005 right... and to add...my dad payed for my 1st tandem..it was a bday gift....i did not ask for a cent for my 2nd jump, and have no plans on ever asking them for $$ for it.... my upset was that they didnt like me doing it ...period....so when they dont like somehting im doing, it bums me out they may have given me life but skydiving gives me breath ..katie.. http://community.webshots.com/user/goalie85 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
