Ashtanga 0 #51 December 29, 2005 I was in my room naked and I put my bits and pieces between my legs and I was looking in the mirror like I was a girl and I was saying, "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard," over and over again and my friends walked in. They started laughing so I threw a bottle of lotion at them and told them, "It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told." They didn't do it so I sprayed them with a hose and I said, "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again." They did it and then I threw a basket at them and said, "Now it places the lotion in the basket." They didn't do it so again I said, "It places the lotion in the basket!" They still didn't do it so I yelled "Put the fucking lotion in the basket!" Then they put it in the basket and left. It was pretty emberassing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #52 December 29, 2005 jeez Nathan you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
idlewild70 0 #53 December 29, 2005 I don't think these 2 are social blunders, they were just funny to me. I went to a strip club with a friend of mine for his 21 bday. anyway we were talking to one of the dances, who "was putting her way thru med school" and my friend asked her what kind of money she makes. she said like $1500/week. my response was thats not bad considering most of you girls have a $2000 a week coke habit. we left right after that. secondly, anyone else ever have a pitcher of beer spill on a stripper and get blamed for it. left right after that as well.-Fish Blue skies, Soft landings Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 26 #54 December 29, 2005 Quote jeez Nathan Muts... resist.... joke.... re. .... shampoo.... wow... deja vu.... Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #55 January 1, 2006 Stepping on the foot of a seeing-eye dog in front of a class full of people in college. Dog let out a nice yelp, which of course directed all eyes in the room at me."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #56 January 1, 2006 <> Well, all but 2 (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Richards 0 #57 January 2, 2006 I knew this couple, where the guy was a scrawny rake and the girl was about 400 pounds. Anyway he got her pregnant but due to her size I was not aware. One day I saw them ( I had just seen them the prior week) and she had a newborn in her hands. I was caught off guard by this and immediately blurted out "I didn't know you were pregnant" which implicitly stated that she was so huge you couldn't notice the additional bulge. As soon as I said It I realized how that sounded but it was too late. Rather awkward moment. Richards. My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JustChuteMeNow 0 #58 January 2, 2006 I think one of my better social blunders was when I asked this girl with one arm if she was right or left handed. Lucky for me she smiled and held up her one arm and told me to guess. Like Walt said " Whoops !!!"Think of how stupid the average person is and realize that statistically half of them are stupider than that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #59 January 2, 2006 QuoteI knew this couple, where the guy was a scrawny rake and the girl was about 400 pounds. Anyway he got her pregnant but due to her size I was not aware. One day I saw them ( I had just seen them the prior week) and she had a newborn in her hands. I was caught off guard by this and immediately blurted out "I didn't know you were pregnant" which implicitly stated that she was so huge you couldn't notice the additional bulge. As soon as I said It I realized how that sounded but it was too late. Rather awkward moment. Richards. Man, I don't know which one is worse, asking someone when are they due (when they're not pregnant), or telling them you didn't know they were pregnant! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
homer 0 #60 January 2, 2006 I would have to say I was a friend who is very well rounded amongst some people I didn't know. Well we were talking about working out and I squeezed her bicepts but instead of saying you have nice bicepts I said instead you have nice pecs. We were both red and everyone else laughed. CSA #699 Muff #3804 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
homer 0 #61 January 2, 2006 Quote -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In Reply To -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I knew this couple, where the guy was a scrawny rake and the girl was about 400 pounds. Anyway he got her pregnant but due to her size I was not aware. One day I saw them ( I had just seen them the prior week) and she had a newborn in her hands. I was caught off guard by this and immediately blurted out "I didn't know you were pregnant" which implicitly stated that she was so huge you couldn't notice the additional bulge. As soon as I said It I realized how that sounded but it was too late. Rather awkward moment. Richards. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man, I don't know which one is worse, asking someone when are they due (when they're not pregnant), or telling them you didn't know they were pregnant! I made the mistake of saying whats Her name and they replied HIS name is... HE is wearing blue. It still looked like a girl to me. CSA #699 Muff #3804 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
udder 0 #62 January 2, 2006 yesterday morning with about twenty of us piled into one room i was messing around with the tv remote earlier and was subsequently told by the chick i was sleeping next to to move the remote cause it was poking into her back. Later that night we were ina semi-spooning sort of arrangement on the bed and I managed to crack a boner while sleeping. I woke up when she grabbed ahold of my dick and tried to pull the "remote" out of the bed. Shes not the least bit interested in me... Not too sure whose face was mroe red."In one way or the other, I'm a bad brother. Word to the motherf**ker." Eazy-E Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #63 January 2, 2006 Quoteyesterday morning with about twenty of us piled into one room i was messing around with the tv remote earlier and was subsequently told by the chick i was sleeping next to to move the remote cause it was poking into her back. Later that night we were ina semi-spooning sort of arrangement on the bed and I managed to crack a boner while sleeping. I woke up when she grabbed ahold of my dick and tried to pull the "remote" out of the bed. Shes not the least bit interested in me... Not too sure whose face was mroe red. _________________________________________ She does like T.V! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bootiemonkey 0 #64 January 3, 2006 I asked some one if they were pregnant but before they could answer I said if not then that whole weight lose thing isn't really working for you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jasmin 0 #65 January 3, 2006 QuoteFire Safety Tip: Don't fry bacon while naked Mwaaaaaahaaaaahaaaahaaaa Thank goodness I'm not the only idiot who's burnt themselves doing that!! I now have a permanent scar on my belly to remind me not to!xj "I wouldn't recommend picking a fight with the earth...but then I wouldn't recommend picking a fight with a car either, and that's having tried both." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #66 January 3, 2006 First-ever full-blown formal dinner at new GF's house to meet the parents....drank the finger bowl.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hambone 0 #67 January 3, 2006 Well One of my friends was in Memphis for a wedding and new years and they got on the elevator and he laid this incredible fart, well they got off but it stayed on the elevator, well then a group of old ladies got on, and as the doors closed they could hear them scream becuase of the smell. To make matters worse when my freinds rode back down who was standing in line to get back on the elevator but the old ladies that had gotten the business end of the last ride. ha ha haYeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hambone 0 #68 January 3, 2006 QuoteQuoteyesterday morning with about twenty of us piled into one room i was messing around with the tv remote earlier and was subsequently told by the chick i was sleeping next to to move the remote cause it was poking into her back. Later that night we were ina semi-spooning sort of arrangement on the bed and I managed to crack a boner while sleeping. I woke up when she grabbed ahold of my dick and tried to pull the "remote" out of the bed. Shes not the least bit interested in me... Not too sure whose face was mroe red. _________________________________________ She does like T.V! Chuck That is one of the funniest things i have ever heard. One of my friends from college, he had graduated, but he came back and hooked up with this girl in her dorm room well some where in the night he pissed her bed, got up before she realized what he had done and came and joined us at our tail gate. when he showed up we all just laughed at him for a while. A girl also pissed the couch at our fraternity house. It was pretty funny. ha hah haYeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #69 January 3, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuoteyesterday morning with about twenty of us piled into one room i was messing around with the tv remote earlier and was subsequently told by the chick i was sleeping next to to move the remote cause it was poking into her back. Later that night we were ina semi-spooning sort of arrangement on the bed and I managed to crack a boner while sleeping. I woke up when she grabbed ahold of my dick and tried to pull the "remote" out of the bed. Shes not the least bit interested in me... Not too sure whose face was mroe red. _________________________________________ She does like T.V! Chuck That is one of the funniest things i have ever heard. One of my friends from college, he had graduated, but he came back and hooked up with this girl in her dorm room well some where in the night he pissed her bed, got up before she realized what he had done and came and joined us at our tail gate. when he showed up we all just laughed at him for a while. A girl also pissed the couch at our fraternity house. It was pretty funny. ha hah ha ____________________________________ I recall, one of my ol' buds from college, had the 'hots' for this one girl at school. She was pretty 'shiny' as I recall. Well, he finally got a date with her. His thoughts of the whole thing, far from 'pure and decent', were to follow the old adage; 'Candy's dandy but, liquor's quicker.' As he plied her with booze, things heated-up. He moved in for a big wet smooch when she blew lunch, dinner and probably breakfast all over his new tweed sports coat. Needless to say, that date, ended real quick. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hambone 0 #70 January 3, 2006 [____________________________________ I recall, one of my ol' buds from college, had the 'hots' for this one girl at school. She was pretty 'shiny' as I recall. Well, he finally got a date with her. His thoughts of the whole thing, far from 'pure and decent', were to follow the old adage; 'Candy's dandy but, liquor's quicker.' As he plied her with booze, things heated-up. He moved in for a big wet smooch when she blew lunch, dinner and probably breakfast all over his new tweed sports coat. Needless to say, that date, ended real quick. Quote I remember that happening to a friend of mine. I have a friend that is famous for doing socially awkward things with girls some of his exploits include: on a bus back home from a function he looked at his date and was trying to convince her to come back and said "i mean its not like i am a rapist or anything" well the people around him heard that and totally lost it. on another occasion he was on a date with a girl and invited her back to his place to watch a movie, well they get to his place and come to find out that he doesn't have a tv at all... and his crowning glory, he was at a party at our house, his sister was also there well he is walking around and see's this hot girl so he walks up and grabs her ass and when she turns around its his sister who hits him and yells at him...Yeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites masterrig 1 #71 January 3, 2006 I remember that happening to a friend of mine. I have a friend that is famous for doing socially awkward things with girls some of his exploits include: on a bus back home from a function he looked at his date and was trying to convince her to come back and said "i mean its not like i am a rapist or anything" well the people around him heard that and totally lost it. on another occasion he was on a date with a girl and invited her back to his place to watch a movie, well they get to his place and come to find out that he doesn't have a tv at all... and his crowning glory, he was at a party at our house, his sister was also there well he is walking around and see's this hot girl so he walks up and grabs her ass and when she turns around its his sister who hits him and yells at him... ______________________________________ Sounds like a real 'social klutz'! His sister, did the right thing. How funny! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #71 January 3, 2006 I remember that happening to a friend of mine. I have a friend that is famous for doing socially awkward things with girls some of his exploits include: on a bus back home from a function he looked at his date and was trying to convince her to come back and said "i mean its not like i am a rapist or anything" well the people around him heard that and totally lost it. on another occasion he was on a date with a girl and invited her back to his place to watch a movie, well they get to his place and come to find out that he doesn't have a tv at all... and his crowning glory, he was at a party at our house, his sister was also there well he is walking around and see's this hot girl so he walks up and grabs her ass and when she turns around its his sister who hits him and yells at him... ______________________________________ Sounds like a real 'social klutz'! His sister, did the right thing. How funny! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #72 January 3, 2006 Quote ______________________________________ Sounds like a real 'social klutz'! His sister, did the right thing. How funny! Chuck Man, if I had a sister and I did that to her by mistake, just shoot me! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hambone 0 #73 January 3, 2006 The funniest part is that he thinks of him self as a real ladies man. to the point where he walked up to on of our friends and told her that she had missed the chance to get with him. Its pretty funny stuff. but anyway what can you do.Yeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #74 January 3, 2006 One of my best friends has OI, which means he's about 2' 6". When we used to go to wheelchair unfriendly places I'd carry him on my back. I'd get a great deal of 'How old is your son now?' '33'. Of course, having him sat in a kiddie booster seat smoking a cigarette and drinking soda was always fun for traffic jams. TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #75 January 3, 2006 QuoteOne of my best friends has OI, which means he's about 2' 6". When we used to go to wheelchair unfriendly places I'd carry him on my back. I'd get a great deal of 'How old is your son now?' '33'. Of course, having him sat in a kiddie booster seat smoking a cigarette and drinking soda was always fun for traffic jams. Can I hang out with you guys?!!! I promise I'll be on my worst behavior! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
