homer

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  • Home DZ
    West Plains Skydiving
  • License
    C
  • License Number
    35146
  • Licensing Organization
    USPA
  • Number of Jumps
    508
  • First Choice Discipline
    Formation Skydiving
  • First Choice Discipline Jump Total
    300
  • Second Choice Discipline
    CReW
  • Second Choice Discipline Jump Total
    55
  1. homer

    2017 Eclipse

    The family and I will be in Lincoln City a few miles north. I think we will have a 1min55sec of totality. It's going to be quite the experience. CSA #699 Muff #3804
  2. Here is a better car. It's American made and they're a client of mine so I godda give them a little exposure. Oh, and they are hand made. http://www.shelbysupercars.com/index.php forgot to add link CSA #699 Muff #3804
  3. homer

    Bordem...

    I have that same all-in-one. Oh, yah good choice of beer. CSA #699 Muff #3804
  4. Getting into the holiday spirit What If Santa Wrote Back......? deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy *Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I give you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa** **Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah ** ** **Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa** ** **Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy** ** ** **Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those? Santa** ** **/Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Play station, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis/** ** **Dear Francis, Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays? I giving you a doll instead because I bet you're gay. Santa** ** **Dear Santa , I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan* * ** **Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. * *Santa ** ** **/Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas/** ** **Dear Thomas, All the toys are made by little kids like you in China . Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Santa* *P.S.* *Tell your mom she got the part.* *Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica ** **Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa** ** ** **Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy** **Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. Santa ** **Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky** **Mark, First, stop calling yourself 'Marky', that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa* CSA #699 Muff #3804
  5. And another JUAN AND JOSE WORKED TOGETHER IN AN EL PASO CLOTHING FACTORY AND WHEN BOTH WERE LAID OFF, THEY WENT TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE TOGETHER. WHEN ASKED HIS OCCUPATION, JUAN SAID 'PANTY STITCHER; I SEW ELASTIC INTO LADIES COTTON PANTIES.' THE CLERK LOOKED UP 'PANTY STITCHER' AND IT WAS LISTED AS UNSKILLED LABOR, SO SHE PUT HIM DOWN FOR $300 A WEEK UNEMPLOYMENT PAY. SHE ASKED JOSE HIS OCCUPATION, AND HE SAID, 'DIESEL FITTER,' WHICH WAS LISTED AS A SKILLED JOB. SHE PUT HIM DOWN FOR $600 A WEEK. WHEN JUAN FOUND OUT, HE WAS FURIOUS! HE STORMED BACK INTO THE OFFICE TO FIND OUT WHY HIS COWORKER GOT TWICE THE MONEY. THE CLERK EXPLAINED, 'PANTY STITCHERS ARE UNSKILLED LABORERS, AND DIESEL FITTERS ARE SKILLED LABORERS.' 'WHAT SKILL?' YELLED JUAN 'I SEW THE ELASTIC ON THE PANTIES, AND JOSE PUTS 'EM OVER HIS HEAD AND SAYS, 'DIESEL FEETTER!!!!' CSA #699 Muff #3804
  6. A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the guy. "He eats everything in sight. Sorry. I'll pay for everything." The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves. Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it in his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry in his butt, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first." CSA #699 Muff #3804
  7. homer

    what is this crap

    I received this PM the other day. Anyone else get the same spam or am I the lucky one? I do have to say she made me smile and then shake my head. Sorry, babe but I'm happily married and have a 4 1/2 month old son. Any of guys want a chance at love she is all yours. CSA #699 Muff #3804
  8. I do and you can PM me CSA #699 Muff #3804
  9. I personally didn't know him But I sure do remember him as I was at that CRW camp. I can still see charlie tumbling in a cloud of dust after his collision. It is always a sad day when we lose a skydiver but when we lose a dog as experienced as him in our community it seams to hurt a bit more. He will be missed. Just glad I got the chance to jump with him. BSBD CSA #699 Muff #3804
  10. I'm pro second amendment and I carry. I have a concealed carry permit and depending on my mood I will open carry. Check out www.opencarry.org it will give you rundown of all the states and if you can open carry or not and what places you can/cannot carry. Here in WA State Government buildings and K-12 schools you cannot carry, other than that everywhere else is legal. For those who have concealed carry permits check out www.carryconcealed.org/reciprocity.html and see what states honor your states CCP and what other states yours honors. CSA #699 Muff #3804
  11. He will be at West Plains Skydiving in Ritzville, WA on 28-29 on June. For those who have gone through one of his Canopy courses what are they like and what is covered as far as classroom and jumping. CSA #699 Muff #3804
  12. And I want my white center & end cell A lines replaced with red ones. I can't even get a CRW rigger to do it for me. CSA #699 Muff #3804
  13. I'm proud to say I have never had one. CSA #699 Muff #3804
  14. I was playing in an Omaha H/L tournament and had AAAA in my hand. I’ve been dealt trips in hand more times than I can count but that’s the only time I’ve had quads in hand. I folded the hand after the flop. CSA #699 Muff #3804
  15. homer

    chinchillas ???'s

    The ferrets have free run when we are home and in the mood to deal with them getting into things. There not hard to catch at all and usually will find some cloths on the floor to go to sleep in. When out we just have to watch our step when laundry in on the floor. CSA #699 Muff #3804