0
ladyskydiver

A long time coming (aka first time meeting my father and brother)

By ladyskydiver, in The Bonfire

Recommended Posts

ladyskydiver    0

ladyskydiver
As I was growing up, my mom was always honest with me and told me that I had a blood father and 1 brother (that she knew of) out there somewhere. She was young as was my father when they got together and had me. Over the years, we've tried to find my father and at one point we did. I was 10 years old and talked to my father and my older brother. I was thrilled to have found them, but life happened and contact was lost between us.

I kept thinking off and on about them over the years...where were they? What did they look like? What parts of me were due to "nature" vs. "nurture?" As I got older, I started thinking about health history and needing to know not only for me but should I ever have a child.

I tried to find them many times. I'd search online and find phone numbers. I'd even call the numbers and ask..."are you ___...were you in ___ in 1968?...etc." And it never was my father. One time I had called Alaska and received a man's voicemail...but how could I leave a message on the phone saying "You might be either my father or brother?" I hung up.

Well...earlier this year, my mom just decided to try again and find my father. Within 10 minutes of having phone numbers matching the name, she had my father on the phone. :o I wasn't sure how to react...what to do...what to say...but I took the phone from my mom and talked with my father for the first time in 20+ years. He cried...I cried...we exchanged contact information and started to keep in touch.

We finally set a date to meet for the first time (well...he knew me when I was less than 10 days old but I don't think that counts :D 'cause I obviously didn't remember him from back then) - and that date was June 9th, 2006. It was easy not to be nervous because I had so much going on with work and school and it was so far away.

But...last weekend, my mom and I drove a little over 12 hours to meet him. We checked into the hotel and I didn't expect to sleep but did - for a whole whopping 2 hours :D - due to the alarm clock having been set 1 hour ahead of time. :S:D

We got up, got dressed, and went to the restaurant where we were going to meet my father. I knew that my brother and nephew were going to be there as well and was excited. But since the clock had been set 1 hour ahead of time, we had a long wait. The nerves kicked in right before they showed up. The waitress and one of the cooks were giving us an update on the cars pulling into the driveway. And then I saw my father get out of the car and KNEW him.

His lovely wife, Carolyn, walked into the restaurant first and, of course, got the first hug. And then for the first time, I hugged my father. Talk about emotion overload. It was so very wonderful to finally have met him.

Right after him was my brother. I had always wanted an older brother and now I've got one. It turns out that the phone number that I had called in Alaska was my brother's at the time. I, also, got to meet my nephew, Kyler. Kyler was a bit shy to begin with but warmed up over the course of the weekend. He's a sweetie and makes me a very proud aunt.

I spent 2 days with my father, brother, nephew, and step-mom. We talked and talked and when we got tired of talking, we talked some more. :D Dad, my brother and I shared so much.

And then the time came...the time to leave. It was hard to leave as I was just starting to "know" them. The emails are poor substitutes for the in-person, ya know? :| But the in-person will happen again so for now I'll be content with the contact I have.

I'm very happy to have found them and to have the opportunity to get to know them. And the most wonderful thing is that my brother is hoping to move closer to me next year. B| (Oh...yeah...the trouble we'll cause....:D:D) In case you can't tell, I think my brother rocks!

I've attached a copy of the family picture from the first meeting....

Back row from left to right:

My mom, Carolyn (step-mom), my brother

Front row from left to right:

Kyler (nephew), my dad (sitting), and me (and no smart ass comments about me wearing makeup :P)
Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

peachsouthern    0

peachsouthern
That is so awesome!!! I can't wait to call you and hear more about it!!! Glad you had such a great time! I know you were looking foward to this for a long time!!!!


"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

ImGunnaJump    0

ImGunnaJump
This is a cool outcome!

What does your dad and brother think of your skydiving, or did it come up?? Just curious - it always seems to draw such strong reactions, one way or the other, from people - but if you don't care to comment for whatever reason, perfectly fine.

Glad everything came together and it all went well.
"...I've learned that while the "needs" in life are important (food, water, shelter), it's the "wants" in life (ice cream, chocolate, sex) that make it worth the effort." Kbordson

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

akarunway    1

akarunway
Perfect timing for Fathers Day. Congrads. Me, my kids just call me "The Sperm Donor". Cept when they call for money. Then it's "I love you dad", by the way....[:/]
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

thegreekone    0

thegreekone
I will never forget the day that first call was made and what I heard in your voice. Being at your side that day and privvy to everything else that has happened since then has been such a pleasure. Watching you navigate a fine line between being guarded (smart) and open-minded (courageous) has left me in awe, like a lot of things. The pics of you and your brother and hearing the happiness in your voice when you talk about him makes me so happy for you.

.......*PM sent* :$:)


yer the bestest! ;)

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

ladyskydiver    0

ladyskydiver
Quote

that's great cora, I'm happy for you

how was your mum with it all, did she have any probs?



Mom had no issues with it at all. She was very happy that she was able to find him for me and to see our first meeting. :)
Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

ladyskydiver    0

ladyskydiver
Quote

This is a cool outcome!

What does your dad and brother think of your skydiving, or did it come up?? Just curious - it always seems to draw such strong reactions, one way or the other, from people - but if you don't care to comment for whatever reason, perfectly fine.

Glad everything came together and it all went well.



:D Skydiving has come up in email conversations as well as in person. Dad would love for me to stop, because now that he's found me, he doesn't want to lose me.

My brother wants me to be safe and come home from the dz unharmed. With him being military and an adventurer himself, he knows that I'm going to do it so he's just showing big brother concern.

My mom actually did a tandem and is "tolerant" of it. Tolerant in that she knows I won't quit but is worried from the time I leave to go to the dz to the time I come home from the dz.
Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

ImGunnaJump    0

ImGunnaJump
Quote

Skydiving has come up in email conversations as well as in person. Dad would love for me to stop, because now that he's found me, he doesn't want to lose me.




Awwwww! That's so sweet - and understandable.

It's good to have both - a family that cares, but still doesn't harass you to quit.

It's also great that your mom is cool w/finding your dad and is supportive.:)

Much peace and happiness to all of you as you get to know each other.
"...I've learned that while the "needs" in life are important (food, water, shelter), it's the "wants" in life (ice cream, chocolate, sex) that make it worth the effort." Kbordson

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Gawain    0

Gawain
Simply amazing!! I'm very glad to read such good news and that everyone was so happy to connect again. That is cool, and I admire you and your family to taking such a courageous step! B|

Congratulations!

--Max
So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
0
Go To Topic Listing