"It's either Me or Skydiving Hon - Choose." Anyone really heard that?

[Unstable 8]

I've heard this question hypothetically used on these forums a lot - a S.O. asking a jumper to choose either Skydiving or their relationship - only one choice...

Do you all actually know anybody who has been told right out to choose between a marriage/relationship and jumping? Is this a 'common' problem that jumpers in a relationship are faced with? Has anybody had to face it themselves?


I see a degree of manipulation in this question - frankly I would worry about who was asking it more than who was on the recieving end....

=========Shaun ==========

[GravityJunky 0]

Quote

"It's either Me or Skydiving Hon - Choose." Anyone really heard that?

Yep to which I replied to my buddy skydivers that same morning: So... guys... I'm gonna... miss her when I get home, I guess I'll have to fend for tonite's dinner on own, oh, look they're loading our plane now guys, let's get out to the field, yea I'm gonna miss her-- huh sure I'm up for a marathon jumping match today, hey...

*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}

[sharimcm 0]

My ex said it was him or skydiving... So, I told him to choose me or alcohol. Obviously, I chose skydiving, and he chose alcohol. At least we both chose something that would make us both happy...

It wasn't a hard decision for me to make. I was unhappy in the relationship, so I was glad to be given the ultimatum...

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[BlueSkiesKel 0]

i could get into this with a good story, but i'll resist and just say

ultimatums SUCK and just piss people off and make them react the exact opposite of what you want!

good rule- dont ever give someone an ultimatum unless you really intend to follow through and you really mean it,

I HATE when people say something just to provoke a response,

ok, stopping now before i go into a rant...

[Unstable 8]

Quote

ultimatums SUCK and just piss people off and make them react the exact opposite of what you want!

good rule- dont ever give someone an ultimatum unless you really intend to follow through and you really mean it,

I couldn't agree more. Most of the ultimatums I've heard were mostly for shock value -

I have never heard that particular ultimatum before - but If I did I would do some serious thinking....think about whether or not that is the kind of person I want to spend a long, long, long time with.....

I've made up my mind that I want to date and have relationships with people with a variety of hobbies and interests - hopefully respect will be an important factor in my future relationships...

=========Shaun ==========

[BillyVance 34]

Oh yeah, I've heard it a bunch of times. My wife did it in a little different way though. We did have our battles over how I prioritize skydiving. She had to be more important than the sport, and she's right because we're married. But if we had kids, I would have to retire. However, she backed off that demand a couple of years ago because she realized I would resent it. Besides, I could get killed a bunch of other different ways, hit by lightning, car wreck on the interstate, etc.

A friend of mine and long-time skydiver who posts on here told me that his wife gave him the ultimatum after 20-odd years of skydiving. He told her "I'm going to miss you". She backed off.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Ragnarok 0]

She told me it was just skydiving.

I told her she was just a girl.

_________________________________________
Twin Otter N203-Echo,29 July 2006
Cessna P206 N2537X, 19 April 2008
Blue Skies Forever

[boinky 0]

Once upon a time, my now ex totally supported my skydiving. Bought me my first jump, my gear, gave me money to go on CRW camp trips, more gear and rigger's equipment.

Then later, he complained because I went on the trips and spent time in rigger's class.

He CLAIMS that I had picked skydiving over him and didn't make him #1 any more.

Mind you, he was cheating on me...and I knew it, but just left it alone. He obviously had other women to make him #1.

I always wondered why he claimed he supported me in chasing my dreams, but then completely crushed them by divorcing me?

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[smiles 0]

"It's either god and marriage, or skydiving Hon!"

He started skydiving 2 yrs. before me,
I didn't understand what the big attraction was but tried to relate to the pleasure he got from it.
He bought me a tandem jump certificate and I carried it around for 6 months before making my choice to go for it. We became skydivers for 18 yrs. together....raised 2 awesome son's...


He made a personal decision to quit skydiving-as god wouldn't want us to risk our lives for pleasure, plus that we be married because our relationship (22 yrs.) has been sin......

I spent a few years trying to understand the concept ...like I tried to understand when he started skydiving and it wasn't until I tried it that I became perfectly aware.....

Made my choice that skydiving gives my life pleasure as it always has, I never was into marriage, so why do it now unless I am into the concept he is captive of ...or... marriage to him is for the purpose of working together as servants of god...

SMiles

eustress. : a positive form of stress having a beneficial effect on health, motivation, performance, and emotional well-being.

[Richards 0]

Quote

I see a degree of manipulation in this question - frankly I would worry about who was asking it more than who was on the recieving end....

[Tonto 1]

I've been jumping 22 years now, and I've had that a couple of times in my early 20's when relationships never meant very much.

Later, in my 30's, I discovered that the ultimatum was usually preceded by 2 other steps.

1. Are you going to the DZ this weekend?

This is OK. The relationship is new and they don't yet know that the answer to that is always yes.

2. Are you going to the DZ again this weekend?

When you hear that, it's over. Don't wait for the ultimatum. Consider the value of the relationship and either start to compromise, or leave.
I got divorced over an ultimatum from my wife. "No more world championships." which I felt was unfair, since I was in a competition team when she met me, and 6 years later nothing had changed. There was no discussion about me stopping or cutting back after being married.

I have no doubt about my love for skydiving. I've reached a point in my life where I undertand the differnce between love and obsession.
If my life partner needed support, I'd step out of jumping in a heartbeat. (She's also a skydiver with over 1000 dives) Bottom line is that life comes first, and skydiving comes second. Although I've never yet had to apply that value scale, I know it to be true.

t

It's the year of the Pig.

[Zee 0]

Yep. Got that one about 8 years ago. I was gone in about 10 seconds flat. Think the bitch would know better considering she has a PHD in psychology

Action©Sports

[2fat2fly 0]

It may be different if I actually got to jump regularly, but yesterday the wiffo said "When will you get back in the air? You're too tense"

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[steveorino 7]

I'm Gonna Miss Her
parody by Steve Phelps
(with apologies to Brad Paisley & Frank Rogers)

Well I love her
But I love to jump
I spend all day out on this drop zone
And hell is all I catch
Today she met me at the door
Said I would have to choose
If I made a jump today
She'd be packin' all her things
And she'd be gone by noon

Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I'm on this drop zone
And I'm packin' my rig
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a flite

Now there's a chance that if I hurry
I could beg her to stay
But that plane's idlin'
And the weather's perfect
No tellin' how many points I may turn today

Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I'm on this drop zone
And I'm packin' my rig
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a flite
Yeah, I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a flite


Funny stuff aside. my wife of 32 years has never given me an ultimatum, and is very supportive. However I took a big long break between jumps, 1979 - 2001, to raise kids.

steveOrino

[MrFreefall383 0]

If I heard that, it would be, "Fuck you bitch, get outta my house!"

OK, well maybe not like THAT, but something along those lines. The bitch makes me give up skydiving, she's gonna regret it.

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[stratostar 5]

Quote

Do you all actually know anybody who has been told right out to choose between a marriage/relationship and jumping? Is this a 'common' problem that jumpers in a relationship are faced with? Has anybody had to face it themselves?

After all these years around jumpers, if I had just 25 cents for each person I know who has been down that road, I could throw one hell of a dropzone party.
AIDS is a real killer of marriage/relationships happends to pilots a lot too, spending to much time at the airport.

you can't pay for kids schoolin' with love of skydiving! ~ Airtwardo

[Beverly 1]

Haha, They never really put the "Hon" on the end of that but I did get lots of the following:

Are you going to the DZ "again" this weekend?
So when are you going to stop jumping?
You will stop when you have kids, hey?
But you won't jump forever, so you might as well stop now.
But I want to watch the game this weekend, why are you going again?
Don't you get bored, it is all the same, how many times can you jump out of a plane?
I hate your team name! You should change it.

The answers to all these were all pretty much the same...

"Nice knowing you, it has been real"

Funny, I never missed / miss any of them...



I am missing Peej though! Where are you and where have you been you crazy sexy thing??
Get back to the DZ punk!

I think true friendship is under-rated

Twitter: @Dreamskygirlsa

[chrismgtis 0]

Quote

She told me it was just skydiving.

I told her she was just a girl.

Good job.

Rodriguez Brother #1614, Muff Brother #4033
Jumped: Twin Otter, Cessna 182, CASA, Helicopter, Caravan

[Lindercles 0]

Quote

But you won't jump forever, so you might as well stop now

That's actually pretty good logic. While you're at it, you might as well quit having sex now, too, since you won't have a sex drive forever.

[Wazymota 0]

It's sad but true. I've had plenty of students tell me that they were being faced with that choice.
They usually make it back for one or two jumps but the pressure from home always seems to break them.

"Sometimes you look up and shit hath happened." Waz fjc 2009

[Lastchance 0]

Never got that one but my first wife said her or my Harley. I hardly missed her at all.
My wife now says you need to go skydive. You're stressed and you're getting on my nerves.

I may be getting old but I got to see all the cool bands.

[Unstable 8]

I have a class on this kinda thing (marriage) and some of our recent discussions have got me a-thinking about this.

My thoughts are based on on several presumptions.

1: Marriage is a process - from point A to B to C - It takes a while to get right.

2: both partners in this hypothetical situation are equally committed to keeping a healthy happy family.


Okay, so wife/hubby wants their SO to change something. Skydiving ultimatum, drinking, partying with the guys, Thursday night bowling, et cetera. Maybe the guy can't stand his wifey's nagging or the way she leaves the toilet seat down.

So - under presumption #1 - change & progress need to happen; whether it be the SO quits complaining, the jumper in question quits jumping, or most likely they come to some middle ground compromise.

I've changed my mind on this question by thinking and even reading some of these posts. If my SO comes to me with that ultimatum, I'll listen and we'll talk about it. Sure, I could tell her to go screw herself because I'm going jumping, but that nulls presumption #1 and #2 on the entire purpose of marriage - and then there is a 'trust' factor that comes into play - I trust that my SO of choice will respect & love me enough not to fight against something that I enjoy - and if she does, then she'll have a good reason worthy of discussion.

It's amazing how much a view can change in just a few days....

=========Shaun ==========

[normiss 622]

close...but it came out like:
"What the fuck are you doing in my house? And get that gaddamn motorcycle out of my fucking living room when you leave!"

I think she grew tired of repeated weekends at the DZ....but it's a guess.

• Quote

[skymama 35]

Quote

I think she grew tired of repeated weekends at the DZ....but it's a guess.

You don't think the motorcycle in the living room had anything to do with it?

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[BillyVance 34]

Quote

My wife now says you need to go skydive. You're stressed and you're getting on my nerves.

My wife tells me this every now and then!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban