Stupid people who pretend they skydive...

[Richards 0]

I think there is a medical term for people who cannot help but bullshit. I do not know the name for it but I saw it on a learning channel documentary. Basically some people are so depressed at being losers who have not amounted to their own expectations (or anything at all for that matter) that they need to create an alternate life which is far more impressive than the one they live. What is sad is that they are so desperate to beleive this stuff that it becomes reality for them and in fact when they are bullshitting they actually beleive their own bullshit. They are excellent manipulators who are almost impossible to get to back down even when confronted with evidence that they are lying. They merely engage in denial of the evidence and work on ways to strengthen their own fantasy. Apparently many of these people can be put on a polygraph and pass because again their own self esteem has depended on beleiving it for so long that it does become reality to them. I knew a guy who I suspect had this. He claimed his father who was some great war hero commando had put him through jump school at age 7, special forces training by age 11, and fighter jet training by his early teens. He also claimed he had gone over to asia and became trained as a ninja. If someone stated their obvious disbelif to him he would avtually get quite violent. He really beleived his own bullshit and could not fathom that other people did not.

Some lesser extreme bullshitters (ie not psychologically fucked) will try to interview you before bullshitting so as to avoid the scenario you have described. For example if lying about military backgrounds they will question you first to make sure that you are not military. Upon establishing that you are a no risk bullshit target they will begin. First they will probe the waters by checking to see your tolerance to BS and that will dictate how far they will go. When I was in my late teens I was working as a security guard and I had a coworkor of british descent. He first started telling me how he had been in the british army and entertaining me with stories. Since I never like challenging bullshitters he assumed I beleived him. From there it just got better. He then started with stories of northern ireland; from there he talked about having killed people; then having been ordered to assassinate people; then he started hinting at SAS background ( not sure how this led to him working with me as a minimum wage earning rent-a-cop loser ).

Anyway, BS'ers are the greatest form of entertainment and I really feel nothing but pity for them and their self esteem issues, so I generally do not give them a hard time.

Richards

My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

[rehmwa 2]

Quote

A) He's a chauvinist who saw you, a woman, doing something much cooler than anything he ever did and he couldn't take it, so he had to lie to try and be on the same level as you.
B) He drew his knowledge from films like Point Break where a 4000ft skydive lasts 3 minutes (Before deployment of canopy).
C) He was an asshole.

D) he was a skydiver and was feeding HER a bunch of junk to see if she was a poser.......

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[meloo09 0]

Before I did my first tandem with a friend, we were talking to another girl who told us she jumped. She said that she had 80 jumps and asked us where we were doing our tandems. We told her zhills and she said she knew everyone there and that they would for sure allow her to take us on our jumps since she had about 20 tandems. Well needless to say that something "came up" on the day of our jump and just laugh about how naive I was about the sport

What you do speaks so loud, I cannot hear what you say.

[rehmwa 2]

Quote

Actually.. he's right, the lower air molecules make it harder to do fine manouvers.

how about that.
for me it was the tunnel vision from the hypoxia - once we hit 14K or so I cleared right up and we had great 4way - could've saved a lot of cash just getting out at 14 instead of 22

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[jasonRose 0]

I pretend to skydive every time I jump..
My jump numbers are made up, I really have only imagened jumping out of an aircraft that many times.

Dreaming is so much fun!!! Oh wait I am living my dream. As long as I can get to alti and have a good canopy over my head I'm in heaven. To all others who make believe I feel sorry for.

Some day I will have the best staff in the world!!!

[rehmwa 2]

Quote

Anyone else a climber? I just kind of nodded, chuckled to myself, and made random sounds of assent.

There's more grading systems than just the Yosemite standard. Here's a chart. There's a lot more than just this, but I can't find my favorite that has like 10 different grading systems lined up right now. France and Britain have 6's etc which start equivalent to 5.10's and up to 5.12's

http://www.absolutemotions.com/rock_climbing/climbing_grades.htm

here's a nice on YDS
http://www.climber.org/data/decimal.html

edit: caught your later post acknowledging the other grading systems.......

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[JeepDiver 0]

Quote

I think there is a medical term for people who cannot help but bullshit. I do not know the name for it but I saw it on a learning channel documentary. Basically some people are so depressed at being losers who have not amounted to their own expectations (or anything at all for that matter) that they need to create an alternate life which is far more impressive than the one they live. What is sad is that they are so desperate to beleive this stuff that it becomes reality for them and in fact when they are bullshitting they actually beleive their own bullshit. They are excellent manipulators who are almost impossible to get to back down even when confronted with evidence that they are lying. They merely engage in denial of the evidence and work on ways to strengthen their own fantasy. Apparently many of these people can be put on a polygraph and pass because again their own self esteem has depended on beleiving it for so long that it does become reality to them.

I had a homeless guy come up to me at a gas station one night at 1:00am. He saw the USPA sticker on the back of my SUV. He went on the explain that he "went in" and that was the root of his problem. Two seconds later a load blast from the PA system told him to step away from my truck and be on his way.... they were not going to tell him again to leave the area or they were going to call the police. The brief conversation I started with him showed he had no clue as to the license, rating system in place. I'd asked him whether he had a D license.... he had no idea what I was talking about.... He'd bounced and walked away from it but living with the trama had ruined his life.

It was a sad life that person must lead.

[Icon134 0]

Quote

He first started telling me how he had been in the british army and entertaining me with stories. Since I never like challenging bullshitters he assumed I beleived him. From there it just got better. He then started with stories of northern ireland; from there he talked about having killed people; then having been ordered to assassinate people; then he started hinting at SAS background ( not sure how this led to him working with me as a minimum wage earning rent-a-cop loser ).

One of my Highschool class mates joined the navy and became a navy seal... I don't talk to him regularly but when some classmates and me were hanging out after my 10 year HS reunion. Someone asked him if he had ever killed anyone. He responded "Yes." and left it at that... In my experience the people that actually do that sort of thing are more like this...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[Orange1 0]

I've known guys who had to kill people in the army. It's the last thing on earth they want to talk about.

Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun.

[Zennie 0]

Quote

And then he told me about how he's "jumped off of this cliff in ***** a few times, with a parachute." I was like, "You mean BASE jumping?" And he said, "Yeah, right... it was cool, but you don't really get to fall for as long."

Yeah BASE is really boring that way. But I needed something more relaxing.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[Zennie 0]

Quote

Someone asked him if he had ever killed anyone. He responded "Yes." and left it at that...

"Yes. And I must now kill you for reminding me of it..."

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[Icon134 0]

Quote

Quote

Someone asked him if he had ever killed anyone. He responded "Yes." and left it at that...

"Yes. And I must now kill you for reminding me of it..."

Sorry... for what its worth... I didn't bring it up in the group. I'm not near the tip of the spear but I am part of the spear so I understand (to an exent... and would never want to make someone think about it...)

I one of my favorite quotes about warfare is from the movie Black Hawk Down: Towards the end of the movie "Hoot" is talking to one of his mates and says this

"When I get home people 'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do ya do it man? Why? Just some war junkie?" Ya know what I'll say? I won't say a goddamn word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's about the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is."

Scott

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[Icon134 0]

Quote

Anyway, I had a Locks of Love fundraiser at Skydive Elsinore last weekend, and I noticed something very odd. At first, I thought that it was my imagination, but then, I realized that the newer male jumpers were trying to impress me when talking of their skydiving capabilities. I guess that since they hadn't seen me around the DZ, they wanted to show off in front of the new girl.

Each one individually stressed to me how much better their skills were than other jumpers, and they kept trying to explain skydiving to me. I tried to be complimentary to them, but at times, I honestly didn't know what to say to them. It was very odd, especially since I have often been around medal-winning skydivers who don't feel the need to verbally brag about their skydiving skills.

For what its worth I'd probably just ignore an attractive young lady like you out of fear... I definitely don't brag... much...

Personally I was thrilled at completing a page with my all newbie 4-way team last season... So I KNOW I'm not skilled...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[SimonBones 1]

WTF? What's wrong with all you losers? A 30 minute skydive is totally achievable, if you're cool (like me). Let me teach you all something (losers). You gotta get one of those cool new (not as cool as me) birdphoenixmanfly helium wingsuits. The wings are filled with helium, DUH! Since you're so floaty, you even help the plane get to altitude quicker. We're talking a C182 to 20,000ft in like 2 minutes or something. Then in freefall, you're only at a downward speed of about 5 MPH but forward speed of like 600 MPH or something. You'd all know that if you were cool like me. The suit comes with these cool wheels on the chest so that you can land the suit on the runway and only need your parachute to slow you down after landing. In feel like I'm talking to a bunch of whuffo newbies. God!
,

108 way head down world record!!!
http://www.simonbones.com
Hit me up on Facebook

[Douva 0]

Imposters:

When I was 21, this 18-year-old guy at my church kind of latched onto me because (at least in his mind) I was a little more interesting than most of his other church friends. He was my constant shadow for several months, until I finally told him, as nicely as I could, that he needed to find someone else to hang out with. (He had one of the most grating personalities I've ever encountered, and that says a lot coming from me.) Anyway, one day while he was still hanging around me, he tagged along while I went out to the DZ to pick up my rig from a repack. While we were there, he picked up one of every bumper sticker the DZ offered, and when we got home, he plastered the back windshield of his little white Toyota pickup with them. A couple of years later, long after I'd quit attending that church, I ran into one of my church friends who asked me if I was still skydiving and then asked, "Does [name omitted] skydive now?"

"No," I replied, "Why?"

"Well, he's got skydiving bumper stickers all over his truck, and he's telling everyone he's a skydiver."

And he wondered why he didn't have any friends.

Stolen Gear:

I was not a witness to this incident, but I've heard the story enough times to feel comfortable repeating it. One of the jumpers at my DZ had his Javelin stolen out of his van. A little while later, a guy called the drop zone wanting to sell them a "Saveline" (look closely at the "J" in the Javelin logo) parachute. The jumper who'd had his gear stolen was waiting at the DZ to identify it when the thieves showed up to sell it.

Getting Girls:

Once, while teaching a first jump course, we were doing the class introductions, where everyone is supposed to tell who they are and why they want to skydive, and one of the guys in the class said he wanted to skydive to get girls. After I recovered from my laughing fit, I told him he was definitely in the wrong sport.

The only time I've ever stolen the wind from somebody's sails was when I was visiting with an American guy and two British girls on a train in Switzerland, and the guy would not quit playing up his first tandem, which he'd made that day, to the two girls. I let him ride the ego wave up to the point where he started playing down the roll of the tandem instructor; then I gave into the urge to clip his wings.

"You know, I thought about calling that DZ to see if they allow experienced jumpers."

I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

[tomvailco 0]

Quote

MY last half hour skydive was chemically induced. Did you really let this dude pierce you? DOn't let him do anywhere else.....

Jess

Yeah mine was too. Though it was more like falling through the floor into the 6th demension

[tcnelson 1]

wildblue and i were in a sports bar last summer and ran into a guy like this. we tag teamed him (not like that) saying stuff like: "you need oxygen above 5,000 ft." and "we pull at like 100 ft. but, that's a little low." this went on for quite awhile with the guy agreeing with everything. it was all we could do to keep a straight face. cheap entertainment at the least.

"Don't talk to me like that assface...I don't work for you yet." - Fletch
NBFT, Deseoso Rodriguez RB#1329

[tomvailco 0]

Quote

Quote

The right thing to do is to jus smile and start making random schtuff up and see if these fake skydivers go along with it...

I considered asking him stuff about how he dealt with not being able to breathe, or making up words for gear or something, but I didn't...

"So, what kind of semi-triangular flexible ripcord casings did you use with your MNO? I prefer a seven-sided R-12, but most of the people I jump with use the traditional eleven, like a QZI or a Fine-n-Dandy..."

Your a natural!

[gofast_ER 0]

well it seems everyone eles has told their stories i wanna tell mine.

girl: i skyjump. I have 45 jumps.

me: really? So what dz you jump at?

girl: oh my friend owns a plane and gear i jump with him

me: Really? So....you have a license?

girl: no but he taught me

me: ok....what kinda gear you use?

girl: no answer

me: well.....what kinda parachute?

girl: oh a big round one

me: wow you must be using some old gear.

me: what altitude you usually jump from?

girl: oh about 50 thousand

me:

so i didn't have the heart to tell her i knew she was full of it. "big whoop wanna fight bout it?"

one more. A new guy in my unit was telling everyone he was a skydiver. He is army airborn qualified though.

me: so I hear you skydive

guy: yeah

me: cool i'll have someone to go out to the dz with

me: what license do you have?

guy: oh i forgot i'll have to find it

me: ok......how many jumps?

guy: 80

me: what kind of jumps do you do?

guy: freefall

me: a little more specific?

guy: freefall...i jump and pull the parachute after a few minutes

me: wow really? what altitude you jumping from?

guy: 15k to 40k

me: what kinda gear you use?

guy: ummm...i always borrow

me: what kinda gear you "borrow?"

guy: i forgot

me: just admit it...i promiss i wont tell the ppl in our unit.

guy: ok fine you caught me!

I was really bumbed out this guy wasnt telling the truth. I thought I was going to have someone to car pool with to the dz. Though he did tell me he was intrested in getting a REAL license. but....who knows if he will actually do that.

I may not agree with what you have to say but i'll defend to the death your right to say it.

[hexadecimal 0]

I try to pretend I don't skydive.

Every time I'm in public and someone finds out that I'm a pro swooper, the paparazzi get out of hand. I just can't handle the attention.

[Douva 0]

Quote

I try to pretend I don't skydive.

Every time I'm in public and someone finds out that I'm a pro swooper, the paparazzi get out of hand. I just can't handle the attention.

I have the same problem. I'm always like, "No, you cannot see my bronze medal from Nationals, but yes, I will sign your boobs."

I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

[livendive 8]

Quote

(One of the) Murphy's law about love:
There is no limit at the quantity of bullshit that can come out of the mouth of a man when he tries to take a woman to bed

I know a guy who actually is (or at least was) a skydiver who STILL bullshits about it. He's got maybe 300-400 jumps, and I've heard him claim 4,000. He has no ratings, but he'll tell every woman he's interested in that he'll personally take her on a tandem (particularly funny when I'm sitting there and we both know it'll be me who actually takes her). He has at various points tried to convince me that he got me into skydiving and that he was my jumpmaster when I was a student (I met him at the DZ. He had like 8 jumps when I made my first). It never ceases to amaze me really, I mean I can kinda understand bragging about skydiving to a chick at a bar, but why would he think he then needs to exaggerate his experience?

On the other end of the spectrum, I had a student a year or two ago who showed up, took the FJC, and made a few jumps. It turned out they were not his first. That had been a year prior...a bandit jump on a rig he bought off of Ebay for like $200. If I remember correctly, he'd made the mistake of opening the main before the jump and didn't know how to repack it. He figured out the function of the cutaway handle, chopped the main, and then jumped just the reserve from some reasonable height (thinking like 2500'). I don't think he ever unstowed the brakes, I seem to remember his landing had been spectacular in that it hadn't resulted in any broken bones. Anyhow, he did manage to convince me and the other jumpers present (including the DZOs) that he was telling the truth.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[xenaswampjumper 0]

I actually had someone tell me that they had a horse shoe mal while free flying in a javelin.....and had he been wearing the wings container he never would have had the malfunction!!!!! He was totally serious.........pretty funny to watch Tony Hathaway go off on him though

till later have fun & love each other seeya mb65johnny gates....
In skydiving, the only thing that stops you is the ground..............
PMS# 472 Muff #3863 TPM#95

[vdschoor 0]

Quote

I actually had someone tell me that they had a horse shoe mal while free flying in a javelin.....and had he been wearing the wings container he never would have had the malfunction!!!!! He was totally serious.........pretty funny to watch Tony Hathaway go off on him though

Well there is a little bit of truth to that one.. as they always say.. "It wouldn't have happened if he/she had a Wings.. "

he he.. just make your pilot chute bulky enough.. and pack nice and stupid.. and any container will do the trick for ya..

[beowulf 1]

I had a guy try to tell me that he was a jump pilot for Perris Valley Skydiving and that his biggest gripe was skydivers moving around too much in the plane.

I have never heard of any jump pilot complaining about that. There generally isn't much room to move around on a full load in any jump plane. Nothing he said really made much sense.